Drowning under the stress

[Drowning101]

There's just no give. No let up.

Before, we could always find some money from somewhere to tide us over until pay day. Not anymore.

It's going to cost me £80 to get school uniform for September. No idea where this is going to come from.

I have no trousers. I'm literally wearing old pj bottoms out and about. Priced up six pairs of trousers £142. I use vinted for 90% of stuff but I can't get trousers on there.

DS needs some new clothes for the summer. Everything he has is too small. Found lots of bits on vinted but I can't afford them at the moment.

Can't save a penny anymore.

Last two weeks before payday are always rough. Surviving on £30. Before, wasn't a problem there was always somewhere we could take some money from, Savings Pot, Christmas savings, etc. But it's all gone now.

I am so stressed and worried and I don't know what the solution is. Even considered selling the house but that's not an option either. Wouldn't release any cash because houses have gone up so much.

Any tips or advice to try and get through this? It feels hopeless because there's no end in sight. Prices just keep rising and things keep getting worse.

Do you need six pairs of trousers?

Do you mean 6 pairs of trousers for you?surely you only need one?and defo get second hand uniform through school,that's a crazy amount to pay on clothes?

Do you have a laptop/computer, if you do could you look In to doing somehting from home like transcription typing? DP has been doing this and the money isn't great but but you'd be able to make enough to buy some clothes.

I'm sorry your having such a shit time OP 💐

I've been rotating the same two pairs of PJ Bottoms for months now so I'm not really sure what a normal amount of trousers to own is? One pair doesn't seem enough... what would I wear when they're in the wash? I'm not sure I wash clothes regularly enough for 2 to be enough either? I struggle with my two pairs of pj Bottoms.

Have a look at moneysaving expert for a systematic run through of cutting as much as you can, getting any extra money you might be entitled to and advice on making your money go as far as possible.

https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/money-help/

Are you able to do any work at home, eg a few hours call centre type work? Even a couple of shifts a week will make a big difference.

I'd also question the need to buy 6 pairs of trousers. Even if it's 3 for you and 3 for DS, that's an average of nearly £24 per pair and DC ones don't cost anywhere near that much and I get all mine from M&S and even they cost less than that from there, and I'm sure they'd be cheaper in supermarkets.

Well how often do you go out of the house? In an ideal world 4 or 5 pairs would be lovely, but given your situation I’d be realistic. Do you leave the house 7 days a week? If you only go out twice a week or just for school runs then 2 pairs is plenty for now. Start with one and build up because you will still also have pj pants for when at home.

I work full time and have 2 pairs of work trousers and it’s plenty you don’t need 6!

Do apply for PIP, but be aware it's long process, it can take up to 6 months for a decision to be made, although payments backdated.

DH has just qualified for both higher elements, but is very seriously compromised following illness last year.

Gather as much evidence as you can to substantiate the claim.

Good luck

In terms of washing - trousers don't need to be washed every day. Once a week is fine. Clothes that touch pits & bits need washing daily.

2 pairs is plenty. I bought DD soft jeggings today from Matalan for £11 a pair. She has autism and finds them comfy.

She is adult size too just in case you thought I was referring to a tiny DD

Can one of you get a 2nd job?
I've been working full time plus extra Saturdays all year and I'm near retirement.
I'm fed up with it but its an extra 1K a month which has really helped.
I used to do it when I was a single mum too, I'd do a night shift on a weekend, double time. It was a real life saver.
It won't be forever hopefully. But realistically its going to be the only way you can survive.
If there are two of you maybe one could work nights and the other days so no childcare is needed.

Only go out twice a day for the school run and possibly Groceries on the way home sometimes. Other than that... never! Okay, I'll go for 2 - 3 pairs. This is to replace my PJ Bottoms as they're getting lots of holes.

Thank you. :) I have looked on matalan but struggling to find anything. I can't wear anything that's tight fitting, especially on my legs so jeggings/Leggings are out for me. I can't wear jeans either. Everything has to be loose. I can't even cope with cuffed ankle trousers. Cotton with elastane and viscose with elastane are the only materials I can tolerate on my legs. Plain mens Oversized 100% cotton t shirts are all I can tolerate on my top half. It's a bit of a pain. T Shirts are easy... Trousers aren't. Also, if anyone has any recs for trousers that fit the bill, please let me know 🙏

Generation-Gap Womens Ladies Plain Open Hem Yoga Jogging Bottom Training Workout Joggers Elastic Waist Jersey Sweatpant Trousers amzn.eu/d/aAyAMm9

How about these Op,
DD is autistic and will only wear these.
No cuffs or buttons but soft and light. £9.99 per pair

I dont think having more than 2 pairs of trousers is a lot. You need trousers for different types of weather even if you only do the school run. Washing and switching between just a couple of pairs isn't really practical for everyone. OP describes rotating pyjama bottoms and some people are responding as if she is living excessively.

OP - have you looked into admin based roles from home? Apologies if this isn't an option for you but if you have access to a laptop then the Indeed job app for Flexible work (I think it's called Flex) lists these kinds of roles which pay around £9 - £15ph depending on your skills and can be done during school hours.

Try Olio for school uniform. There's always lots in my area.

I dont think having more than 2 pairs of trousers is a lot. You need trousers for different types of weather even if you only do the school run. Washing and switching between just a couple of pairs isn't really practical for everyone. OP describes rotating pyjama bottoms and some people are responding as if she is living excessively.

This! I'm kind of shocked at those responses.

What size are you? Have you tried everything5pounds.com?

Maybe go into a bigger city/town and try their charity shops to see if anything better

Check Olio for food or try last 15-30 mins before supermarkets close for good markdowns

Look for local Pay it Forward groups on Facebook too

Definitely apply for PIP. You always hear the horror stories but lots of people - like me- apply and get it easily first time with no hassle, we just don’t post about that anywhere!

It’s not ideal but you could use Klarna to buy stuff in many stores - you can either pay in 30 days or you can split the payments over 3 months. I use it all the time. I find it a good way of buying clothes etc - Asos, new look, h and m, yours etc all accept Klarna and because you only pay for what you keep it’s a good way to try lots of things / sizes and you don’t have to pay upfront. Like any credit though you need to be careful you only buy what you can afford- there’s no interest on the 30 day thing but obviously you need to know you can pay it off when you need to.

Thanks for the advice.

Did you provide lots of evidence with your application?

You own your home and your DP earns above the UC threshold. There must be ways of re-working your budget to free up some cash. Worth a try.

Go to CAB and ask for some help with your budget and for help with PIP application if you are at the point where your disability is such that you qualify.

There may also be work that you can do to boost the income and which can be done around your health issues. (It won't affect your PIP application and you don't get UC anyway). Nothing to lose.

These are similar to what I'm after but the trousers you've sent don't contain elastane and even if they did, they don't do my size or anywhere close! But thank you :)

I have applied for a few of the work from home roles I've found - they'd still be hard for me but I think I could just about manage. They all have over 200+ applicants though so haven't had any success yet but will keep applying when I see them.

Ok OP, you have two options realistically.

1. both you and DH need to find better paid work - is that a possibility? What kind of work do either of you do now and could you up hours etc?
2. selling the house, which isn't a bad idea. Prices will drop further over the winter so if you need to do it now is the time. Also the worst thing you can do is default on your mortgage. It will affect your credit history. If you sell you get something, if you're repossessed you have nothing. Also when renting you will be entitled to benefits that you can't claim now.

Have you checked you're already getting everything you can?

What are your regular costs? Is there anything else you can cutback on?

Don't be embarrassed to approach the school about uniform. If you can't ask parents on the WhatsApp group then the school itself will have second hand available.

Sorry just caught up on thread. First thing to do is apply for PIP. It will be a substantial increase to your income if you're currently only getting child benefit. And it takes a while so get that process going