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Original poster

I haven't been able to put my heating on yet

175 replies

Anono2022 · 08/12/2022 20:53

I know I'm one of MANY, but I cant help be feel like a bloody failure right now!

I work full time in a school support role for SEN. I have a SEN child myself. I am a single parent with no help from father. Literally everything falls on me.
I'm miserable. i cant heat our home! My monthly electricity is coming in at 170 alone and I'm only paying 100 which is the maximum I can afford! After outgoings have all gone out I have very limited money to feed us on. How the hell am i meant to afford to put the the heating on? Any help available to me is limited due to me having a mortgage.
I feel ashamed and very lonely as everyone around me has a partner/decent two income household. No one understands how tight my finances are.
I come home from work and I often cry because I cant afford even a simple lifestyle. I'm utterly miserable and frozen!

This is just a vent really as I know I am one of very very many. But God I feel shit that i feel like im doing my very best and its not good enough.

We are so close to Xmas now and I've not even brought a single thing. How can I be excited for Christmas when I cant even keep us warm.

OP posts:
ithoughtitmihtbenicetochat · 08/12/2022 20:56

Firstly, I'm so sorry you're dealing with this, it's shit.
Secondly, are you claiming everything you can?
Dla, universal credit, local government assistance schemes.
For example, my union has an assistance scheme with fuel vouchers available. My local government has a similar one too. Have you got a referral to a food bank? Are you on the energy companies priority services register?
Thirdly, can you use extra heating and get into debt with the company? I know it isn't ideal. But... you can't live like this.

PlantDoctor · 08/12/2022 20:58

I'm so sorry you're in this situation :( I think grants to help with energy bills are available from several of the big companies. Can you use local food banks/community leaders to free up some money? They may also have to donations for Christmas presents, or ask local charities for help with that. Be honest with others that you can't afford to do presents this year, unless maybe you could make something? I think most people would understand that, especially this year.

LovelyDaaling · 08/12/2022 20:59

Do you know where the father is and does he work? Can you apply for maintenance?

PlantDoctor · 08/12/2022 20:59

Cross posted with a lot of pp's post, but just wanted to add I meant "community larders", not leaders, which around here will help anyone who says they need help - no referral needed

Ilikewinter · 08/12/2022 21:01

£170PM on electric is high, my bills for a 2 adult household working from home is only around £70.

Cheeseandhoney · 08/12/2022 21:05

I will be honest, I often feel the whole I’m sitting crying /sobbing/weeping is designed to elicit sympathy, which always makes me wonder about rhe intent of the post. Often the I am sobbing and need money sees posters trying to hand over money, and when you add in the disabled child and single parent we have a full house. Cold weeping single parent with a disabled child.

i would urge you to check all your benefits and I’d urge all posters who want to give to only give what they can afford to lose,

redbigbananafeet · 08/12/2022 21:07

Ilikewinter · 08/12/2022 21:01

£170PM on electric is high, my bills for a 2 adult household working from home is only around £70.

I would be looking into why your electricity is £170. I live in a 4 bed and do have hearing in and my gas and electricity combined is £113.

NotToBeShaked · 08/12/2022 21:09

Your electric is huge ! Mines only £60 a month. Why so high?

As other have said. Do you claim for all the benefits you are entitled to?

healthadvice123 · 08/12/2022 21:09

Thats a high electric bill with no heating , I don't quite oay that on 4 of us home , 3 bed and I use tumble dryer etc

Original poster
Anono2022 · 08/12/2022 21:11

@Cheeseandhoney thanks for that. Makes me feel even worse

OP posts:
ImprobablePuffin · 08/12/2022 21:11

Why are you not using what you're paying for? If you're paying the DD then you must be able to pop the heating on for an hour or two?

SweetSakura · 08/12/2022 21:11

I really sympathise..I remember being a single mum trying to hold it all together and it is brutal.

Have a look at this website -www.turn2us.org.uk/

A charity I work with is on there and one of the things we do is help with grants for people who are struggling but don't quite meet the criteria for some reason.

Also there are quite a few employment specific benevolent funds, worth seeing if there are any related to your work..

ImprobablePuffin · 08/12/2022 21:13

Cheeseandhoney · 08/12/2022 21:05

I will be honest, I often feel the whole I’m sitting crying /sobbing/weeping is designed to elicit sympathy, which always makes me wonder about rhe intent of the post. Often the I am sobbing and need money sees posters trying to hand over money, and when you add in the disabled child and single parent we have a full house. Cold weeping single parent with a disabled child.

i would urge you to check all your benefits and I’d urge all posters who want to give to only give what they can afford to lose,

....Or maybe the skint parents of SEN children need an outlet now and again?

AnotherAppleThief · 08/12/2022 21:13

Anono2022 · 08/12/2022 21:11

@Cheeseandhoney thanks for that. Makes me feel even worse

Why is that the post you've responded to rather rhan all the helpful ones?

Pelo2022 · 08/12/2022 21:15

That seems really high. I use about 5kwh electric a day, and it's about £80 a month, live alone

That's with
Dehumidifier and heated airer for drying clothes
WFH
Air fryer/oven is electric
Kettle is always on!
Charging stuff like phone and e cig
Lights

I'm careful but not miserable with electric

My gas is about £26 for 11 days so call it £70pm - showers, and heating on a couple of hours a day

That's £150 then minus the £66 gov thing

SweetSakura · 08/12/2022 21:15

I would also mention to school how much you are struggling, they are likely to be able to make referrals for various sources of help

Pelo2022 · 08/12/2022 21:16

My questions which might help are
Is it pre pay?
How much are you using per day in KWH, should say on your bill?
Is there anything that's using the electric in particular that you know of?

SweetSakura · 08/12/2022 21:16

(we certainly get referrals to my charity from schools)

peppapig79 · 08/12/2022 21:18

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LizzieSiddal · 08/12/2022 21:18

That bill is very high, are you paying for what you’re using or are the company just taking out an amount they’ve decided on?

giggly · 08/12/2022 21:18

You must be eligible for UC if you’re in a lower pay band as a support worker and a disabled child who presumably will get DLA. That benefit alone will entitle you to the additional winter fuel
payment.
I’m another who would question why you can’t put your heating on if your paying £170 a month.

SpinningFloppa · 08/12/2022 21:18

I’m a single parent to 4 I’m not working as my child is disabled and receive no help from their father at all and he doesn’t pay maintenance and my heating has been on every day, I’m not sure why you are paying £170 on electric though, I have 4 kids and 3 bedroom house and I’m paying nowhere near that amount so that doesn’t sound right

thisusernameisnotavailablepleasetryanother · 08/12/2022 21:18

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peppapig79 · 08/12/2022 21:20

I'm so sorry your going through this, it's grim isn't it. I'm just about managing.
Like others have mentioned have you made sure you can get all the help you are entitled to?

AndyWarholsPiehole · 08/12/2022 21:21

If you tell us your income and outgoings we might be able to help you figure out what to cut down on etc.