I haven't been able to put my heating on yet

[Anono2022]

I know I'm one of MANY, but I cant help be feel like a bloody failure right now!

I work full time in a school support role for SEN. I have a SEN child myself. I am a single parent with no help from father. Literally everything falls on me.
I'm miserable. i cant heat our home! My monthly electricity is coming in at 170 alone and I'm only paying 100 which is the maximum I can afford! After outgoings have all gone out I have very limited money to feed us on. How the hell am i meant to afford to put the the heating on? Any help available to me is limited due to me having a mortgage.
I feel ashamed and very lonely as everyone around me has a partner/decent two income household. No one understands how tight my finances are.
I come home from work and I often cry because I cant afford even a simple lifestyle. I'm utterly miserable and frozen!

This is just a vent really as I know I am one of very very many. But God I feel shit that i feel like im doing my very best and its not good enough.

We are so close to Xmas now and I've not even brought a single thing. How can I be excited for Christmas when I cant even keep us warm.

It is very difficult.
Is there a way you could get a job all day on Saturday perhaps doing a childcare swap with someone else for that day too? If you had an extra say 10 hours x £10 a week (£5200 a year) would that help or would it reduce any benefits you receive on top of your wages?

(Don't get a smart meter. I have always avoided one. once you do the power company can change your tariff at a stroke, cut you off and on and change things. It is not worth the risk).

I'm always looking for additional work. With tax credits it goes on your annual earnings. If I was to earning above a certain amount (and the sort of figure you mention) I'd owe back everything I've had from April as I would essentially have been overpaid despite not knowing my earnings would increase. That is where UC is better as it's real time. However UC is not good for me due to being mortgaged. I only qualify for the basic elements which means its significantly less than my TC. In an ideal world I'd earn a wage that didn't require top ups, but I love my job and working with kids with SEND. It's just a shame that important jobs like mine are generally low paid.

An old video came up on my fb memories earlier and it made me cry. I wish I could be happier for my boy. Despite his struggles his always had the biggest smile on his face for me. There's been many times over the course of his life I should have failed in the circumstances I was in, but didn't because i didnt want him to be affected by what was being done to me. At the moment each month feels more and more impossible. I see all his friends still having really nice lives, that seem unaffected by the current COL crisis. It makes me wonder where I went wrong. Money doesn't make the world go round but right now I'd give anything for that safety net. I'm not talking gifts and days out etc. But I miss cooking him a decent homemade meal, or his favourite roast dinner. That's become a special occasion thing! I miss not having to pick the right moment to put the heating on or not having to follow him round to turn things off. I miss loving our home and feeling proud for what I've achieved.

I hate that not enough is being done to help people. I am on my knees now. With another rise due next year I actually dread next Christmas already!

I'm going to have to start selling pictures of my feet lol 🤣

I'm so sorry. Your job is so important and so under-valued. Given there is soft employment market in some sectors right now, is it worth considering applying for better-paid jobs and returning to your school role after the energy crisis, if that's what you still want to do?

Did you establish if it is the showers that are behind the high electricity bills?

The thought does cross my mind but I just feel like I've found somewhere I'm meant to be and would like to develop in that sector.
However I'd be silly to not see what's out there at the moment to make things easier for us. But it would be sad to leave what I love

Sorry for your struggles @Anono2022

30min showers and tumble dryer on daily js prob what is costing you so much

Can you buy extra bedding or whatever you are washing so can wash and leave to dry over a clothes horse /door /landing banister

It is totally wrong that your sons dad isn't contributing

Earning extra money - can you take in ironing ?

I appreciate it might not work in terms of your own childcare, but how about looking for work as a SEN nanny? Generally much better paid than the school roles.

Definitely an option. Thank you. I was recently talking to someone who went from a school to a childcare role and they said their income more than doubled. It's worth considering.

I'm now even more miserable.ive just calculated what my bill could be if I used similar figures to what I've used over the last few days. Bare in mind we break up Friday and have two weeks at home, this month could work out at nearly £300. That's triple what I'd normally be billed for, for the same month. How the hell did that happen? OMFG HOW! Considering I'm only able to pay £100 DD a month and I'm apparently no longer eligible for the WHD because at £16k I earn too much, my energy debt is going to be huge because even in the summer months I highly doubt lower usage will be less that I am able to pay DD each month. The thought really does frighten me. I really dont understand how they can record such record profits and this be happening to people. It all makes me feel so sick

My best friend and his kid have been abandoned by his shitbag of an ex wife - it’s not just men.
Does she pay a penny? Nope, she blows it all on booze and fags, leaving him to pick up the pieces. 😊

@Anono2022 , you could go back to it though, when things are easier? I don't see how this is sustainable. And you could perhaps look in a related sector - educational charities/museum learning and engagement departments say (you might be competing against teachers, even though would usually be a pay cut for them). I think I'd maybe try to work out what you need to earn to make life OK for you and your son and go from there, think of it as for 5 years max say.

So thought I'd update. I got my December bill today based on actual usage. All my bills are my actual usage.

Last December I paid £88.19 for the month based on more Gas and Electricity usage. Today, on less usage my bill is £208 and some pence. I could cry. I didn't start having the heating on until the 9th!

I'm not even eligible for the WHD. Apparently because of the property I live in? One of the questions was what earnings was your latest TC renewal based on. £14,800 so I stupidly thought it was a no brainer, NOPE IM NOT ELIGIBLE THIS YEAR

Based on your previous bill, this one being just over double sounds about right.
My combined gas and elec DD gas increased from £74 to £162 since my fixed tariff ended in July.
I am afraid I have no idea why your elec alone is so high - something seems awry

I am sorry it has increased so much.

I have a fairly large house and my bills are this year on actual use and on 3 or 4 Jan my next one is going to be £936 for a month, about double what it used to be (mine has all been on open tariff as I refuse to get a smart meter and EDF last time I checked let you on cheaper tariffs (if those still exist now) if you agree to a smart meter.

On jobs, it is worth trying for a nanny job. One of my children uses one and around here ( London) the net pay (daily nanny) (after tax is about 14 an hour x 10 hour days (£36,400 after tax) and that is for a job where the child does not have special needs. That is about £48,000 a year before tax - about double many jobs (including my son who is on about £23k full time on PAYE, food delivery driver).

Did you manage to work out how much your son's showers were costing op? I have a smart meter and when my son has a shower the meter displays current usage per hour and it goes up really high. Anything that is using electric to heat will be expensive, so tumble dryer, oven, iron, shower, kettle etc are all appliances that use most electric. Do you think a weighted blanket would help him, if it's pressure he needs to feel.

I havent but its down to between 5 and 10 minutes so much better.

Discovered I have a leak in my roof plus work is needed on my car. Add in a few garden fence panels it's all abit shit right now.

He has a heavy weighed blanket. He isn't complaining. But is spending most his time hidden in his room. Just makes me feel really cross that this is happening to people

I'm not sure why but today I've felt abit extra annoyed about it all. I'm reading so many threads on mumsnet about others struggling and panicking too. I've never seen this as a minority problem. It's widespread so I know it's not just me but it makes me so so angry.

Today we have been cold. I say we, but my son really doesn't complain. He doesn't communicate the best but it's been cold so I am assuming he has been cold too. I had to pick a time to put our heating on which made me feel crap. We had it on for 1 hour 20 minutes. Enough to get the house warm and get us showered. He asked for extra time in the shower. I had to tell him no. Again made me feel rubbish as he literally asks for nothing. All he wanted was extra time in the shower and I had to say no.

It doesn't help that I have nothing else to strip back financially. We don't have luxuries or days out. We don't have takeaways or anything that. What I pay for we need to run the home.

Can't wait for the day all this gets better. But I don't think it's coming any time soon

So I've been tracking my usage since I started this thread.

At the moment we are home through the day and on average using between 2 and 3 units between 9am and 6.30pm. This includes tv, ps4, phone charging, kettle etc. During the evening that is where we are using the most but I don't know how to reduce it. Between us we are spending 15 minutes in the shower which is a significant difference to what my son was doing by himself. I then blast my hair with the hairdryer, say 10 minutes, 20 minutes airfryer and then a film on the TV. During the evening we are using between 5 and 7 units for not using very much. Shower an hairdryer took 2 units. It seems such a huge amount in the evening for very little usage.

Any tips please? Unfortunately these things can't be cut as we need to wash and eat and I cant have wet hair as the house is so cold I'll be ill

@Anono2022 can you download the Olio app and see if it’s active near you? You would need to be checking in online on the app from 8.40pm to 10pm for a few days or so to see what’s available as different distributors work on different days.
I am saving about £150 per month

Also if you can’t afford central heating it’s cheaper to heat a single room with a carefully used electric heater.

Sorry, you could use an electric heater for about 3 hours for approx same cost as 1 hour central heating

Thanks for the tip. The heating isn't the biggest issue at the moment. An hours heating is costing me just over £1. Its not ideal but its enough to get the house warm and get us washed etc. We then snuggle in blankets. It's the electricity usage. I'm averaging about 10 units a day, which I didn't think was bad but since this thread others have made me question what is taking so much.

I genuinely don't think we do enough to warrant high usage. Is 10 units per day considered high usage? But it's definitely the evenings where it bulks up and what I've listed is literally all I am doing/using.

How much electric are others using per day?

Great tip with the Olio app. That's a fantastic saving

Sounds miserable OP, sending solidarity and support. I remember that showers were my pregnancy craving with DC1, I would have stayed in for an hour easily and I'm normally an in-and-out person! Is there a way you can not wash your hair every day? I wash mine twice a week and dry shampoo it on day 4 usually.
Three of us in our household have electric under-sheets which are a couple of pence to run overnight. The youngest is very suspicious of them and refuses to go near the warmth!

@Anono2022 last month nov to dec with £354 bill says used an average of 13 units a day electricity

I’ve always said we seem to be higher than average - which is about 10. Which is you

Hi op . I think maybe your shower is driving up your bills.
Would your son get any comfort from splashing his hands or feet in a bowl of warm water Instead of a long shower ?

Rtft

Thanks.

It's really eye opening when you are forced to constantly check your usage. I've never considered us to be excessive users. And feel I have massively cut back. Yet the figures haven't fell massively.

I naively didn't realise how much a shower uses. We are down to every other day for my son which is OK, but showers are such a calming thing for him. You can really tell when he hasn't had a shower (heightened stimming, obsessively licking and chewing). It's a shame.

I really dont think there is much more I can do to strip the units further. But what I will do is focus of what's going to make us more comfortable. Its not like I am irresponsible. We are simply, and I emphasise the word simply, living in our home.

I'm not eligible for the WHD due to my house being too small. I've had it every year since 2014 under the same circumstances but this year they have introduced house size. Its absolutely shocking that of all years people are losing out because of their house size. I'd understand if my circumstances had improved, they haven't. They're dia! My house is a two bed but is still costing me more than double what it always has.

I know it's not just me. It's disgusting that people are being made to live like this