Would I July to you August Frugaleers

[Unescorted]

Follow on from the last one

Gosh Alfie that sounds so stressful, I don't have any advice really, ds1 is 24 and he's been to uni and moved out on his own, he's not the type you can advise at all and just needs to be left to make his own decisions and learn from the bad ones. Trying to reason with him just causes bigger rifts and I've also had long periods where he won't communicate, in the past I've always felt like I'm walking on eggshells around him, he's improved as he's got older though, I guess what I'm trying to say is that lots of teens/young adults have a difficult relationship with parents. I hope you can get things back on track with dd.

@Alfiemoon1
That is a dreadful situation. That happened to my DSis years ago. And she was engaged to him to make things worse.
The upside was he met someone else thankfully.
The downside was it broke her heart for several years. It was 6 years before she was ready for a new relationship.

Not sure what to say. His ruse was isolating her, and then go live somewhere very isolated too, to cut her off.
I dont know what to suggest other than, perhaps start a thread on MN if necessary. There was no social media back in the day when I needed it.

I meant, his ruse was to cut her off from family and friends, then go live somewhere together very isolated[and I mean very[he loved wild camping]], to further cut her off from other people.

@Happierwithouthim
Yes thanks. I presume you mean like Secret Santa? Hadnt heard of that other name before.
Some of us have discussed it a bit, but thought it wasnt fair on those who are single?
I dont know. I couldnt quite get my head around the whole thing, and need to revisit the subject soon. One of my DDs seems to finish all her christmas shopping in Sept.

alfie that sounds so tough re dd. i hope you manage to get things sorted soon.

have just tried to wash one of dd's t-shirts which had gone mouldy (probably because they were wet and left in the laundry basket). apparently vinegar gets rid of black mould on clothing. i've thrown some apple cider vinegar in the machine. google suggests white vinegar (which i have none of). so hopefully this works.

Thanks everyone nothing we can do but let her get on with it and remind her we are always there for her. Will pay for her last year in university then if she chooses to live with him after that they can pay themselves they are both adults. The irony is she is studying psychology lol

Sun is shining here for now so off to walk the dogs mine and dh little side line so that’s £20 made today

£53 Iceland. I bought so much. The £1 naan breads - 12 packs for the freezer. So yum. Curry is a huge thing in our house.
Oat milk, ketchup, vinegar, soda crystals, huge thing of honey, some greggs things (chicken bake cheese bake and sausage rolls) chicken strips for the freezer, lemon juice,

I need to go to Iceland we have a local one but I tend to either use Ocado for home delivery when I can get a slot or Morrison’s as dh gets 10% discount or just use the local shop which is ridiculously over priced

Spent £2 on a bag of potato’s to go with tonight’s roast chicken forgot to cancel the gousto box and haven’t chosen recipes so that will be a surprise on Thursday when it comes

I love wandering round Iceland. Always see stuff I didn’t know I needed….and they have all the “wierd” brands. Our local one sells Safeway branded stuff. As well as a really good selection of Portuguese and polish brands.

I’m a huge fan of their jam too.

Spends today:

£57 on 5 Dock and Bay beach towels - thanks to DS student discount combined with their clearance.

£61.11 - extra 15% off today - on two waterproof jackets from Regatta, I've finally given in and accepted that I need one, I've ordered two different styles so one will go back.

£6 in Waitrose, lunch, pasta and Mayo.

Hope everyone's have a good Monday, if such a thing exists!

It’s a good Monday for me as I am on annual leave this week

Just a quick question unrelated to frugal topics, but I think someone might know the answer here. I’m looking at applying for some civil service jobs and about to do the cv part. It says to remove references to educational institutions. Does this mean I can put degree in frugaleering and result, but not degree in frugaleering and result from the uni of mumsnet? Or am I not allowed to list my qualifications?

Dm treated us all to a pub lunch today. I had a delicious veggie burger with pickled red cabbage and proper pub chips followed by key lime pie and a cappuccino. Am stuffed!

@Lovemaltesers

Just a quick question unrelated to frugal topics, but I think someone might know the answer here. I’m looking at applying for some civil service jobs and about to do the cv part. It says to remove references to educational institutions. Does this mean I can put degree in frugaleering and result, but not degree in frugaleering and result from the uni of mumsnet? Or am I not allowed to list my qualifications?

I think so yes. I’d do degree and result. But not put where from.

I’m going to guess it’s so they can’t be bias re which institutions.

Ooh that’s interesting, I hadn’t thought about the bias.

Sounds lovely humbug not had key lime pie for so long

Gosh alfie that sounds so tough. My DD has had some very toxic friendships that have been difficult to get her away from. Having worked with women with abusive partners I have always dreaded that for DD so really sympathise. I don't feel I can add much apart from to say have faith things will hopefully change. I think the fact that you are offering her firm and boundaried support is invaluable. The worst is when women become completely isolated in abusive relationships...though I can well imagine how intolerable your DDs boyfriends behaviour must be. Sending hugs.

I am so sorry Alfie that sounds an absolute nightmare you must be so worried about her
Humbug love pickled cabbage , your lunch sounded gorgeous
Sing , Love l didn't know either. l was racking my brains wondering why they didn't want to know what Uni was attended, that seems very fair
Camden those towels were a bargain!
Em good offers in Iceland , l must use them more
Hope your Ds stops the weeing , bless him
Light glad your Dsis is safe poor thing and you!
Madden it all adds up , have been having more takeaways lately and they cost at least £30 a time. It's a lot when we never had them ! I think we have been so fed up lately we can''t be bothered to cook . Also a takeaway is a nice treat
Happier you are very well prepared for Christmas l take my hat off to you! Well done!
Unescorted ahh that was so lovely of your DMum
Waves at Moi
Martha
Been to Ikea , bought 2 more doormats 10 and an artificial Peony plant for my Mum , 6 , spent 30 in Aldi.
Aldi/Iceland much cheaper than everywhere else imho just that they haven't got the range of stuff we need
I couldn't resist this it is much nicer in real life so colourful l love it !
www.ikea.com/gb/en/p/jystrup-door-mat-indoor-flower-multicolour-20505339/

Grrrr.... really annoyed with DD. We had enchiladas for dinner and I made extra for tomorrow. I left the extra ones out on the counter to cool down and warned DD to keep the kitchen door closed so the cats wouldn't get at them. Well, you can guess the rest.... Got off the phone and went into the kitchen to find one of the cats nibbling on them . DD volunteered to cook dinner tomorrow to make up. This isn't the first time I've had to throw out food because of carelessness. Aside from the waste of food and the time I spent preparing them, there's a risk that the food will make the cat sick. They've very sensitive stomachs.

Thanks everyone I just hope when university goes back to face to face and she lives back at the student house she realises what she’s missing going out shopping trips holiday etc while she’s working extra to pay for her jobless weed smoking boyfriend I resent funding him via her car bills he doesn’t drive food money so surely she will soon. She works at McDonald’s and he doesn’t even let her sit in the crew room on her lunch break with her colleagues she has to sit in her car talking to him on the phone this is because he went in one day and screamed at her as his order was wrong and humiliated her she spent the day in tears in the toilet. Someone sent her a bunch of flowers saying don’t let anyone treat you badly you are worth so much more he found out stopped her going to work for a few weeks and no insists she calls him on her lunch

We’ve paid for private counselling which was going well the counsellor said she was in an abusive relationship dd was supposedly planning to leave him but was stalling wait till after Christmas etc after his abusive messages to me she did end it and blocked him all her old friends rallied round mangers at work were supportive if you feel the urge to text him text me instead etc. This is when she told me she didn’t want to move in with him but he was pressuring her into it. If she loved him she would if she was committed to the relationship she would and how he threatens to kill himself if she leaves him. 3 days later she’s back with him I am blocked on her Facebook dh isn’t and boyfriend posts they have moved into their first home together

Tayto ggrr how frustrating hope your cats are ok and if they are unwell let dd clean up after them.

Bought potatoes £2 realised we were low on milk so back to the shop only took cash so total spend today £4 if I took my phone or debit card I would of spent at least £20 tempted by the offers I didn’t need

Lovely day yes at an outdoor water park. Booking completely messed up by them so we still have account credit. We got to do the Aqua park though which was the main thing )19 lunch then £4 parking as stopped halfway home at a beach but the tide was in. Pup pans kids still swam £52 filling the car petrol is £££

CS jobs are you in the CV text box, you can put university as it’s not particularly identifying unless you are the only person who has done that degree. It’s about not putting traditional cv detail like name, address reference etc. Personal identification. I had issue with it applying for new jobs as I’m the only one in my role in the whole department,

Shout if you need more help as I’m a CS

Em can someone play with ds while the other settles dd? Give him +ve attention too

Difficult with dd and her P. I have no more to add bit stress leads to spend we find

life that was the plan but ds refused to go back downstairs. He’d had a bath and was in his jammies but needed books and whatever dd was getting. V frustrating.

Ds wet the bed again last night. No idea why. So we need to work on this. I got up with him at 3 and put proper pull ups on him. He said he knew he needed a wee but didn’t want to get out of bed.

So more laundry today….

I feel your pain Em, dd1 wet the bed not once but twice last night and she is 7! Thought we were past that stage. I think she isn't drinking enough in the day. I'm going to make sure she does today.

Alfie this relationship sounds awful. I hope she does manage to leave, sooner rather than later. What a kit of worry for you.