Would I July to you August Frugaleers

[Unescorted]

Follow on from the last one

Nice to have you back Moi

All these returners and new joiners are making me remember our absent friends. Girlie, Christmas, Quite, Jam, Laska and others if you're reading we miss you and we hope you're ok

I am absolutely dead. I've ordered a takeaway which is not frugal but frankly the idea of a full working day and everything else I have to do on top tomorrow is just meh and I can't face even warming some pasta up.

I've satined the window sill and door frame with the little bit of satin I had left kicking about. Been to the tip. Stripped the bed and washed linen, remade bed, moved bed (king size wooden sleigh thing so no small feat). Separated sofa sections ready for moving tomorrow (big heavy electric sections). Cleaned kitchen floor. Cleaned up dog sick. Etc etc. My back is not currently my friend and my hands are being twats because of paintbrush and roller holding. On plus side room looking better already. Will paint final wall, finish wood work and touch up some thin bits mid week. I also need to give ds's furniture a really good clean and I'm tempted to bin a lot of his belongings. He is a hoarder

£6.40 on three 99’s with flakes. Dd was asleep in the car. So she didn’t get one.

Despite asking ds not to tell her he ratted us out.

I’ve done not much of what I wanted today.

Of course he ratted you out just to wind his sister up
Well earned takeaway there wolf
Welcome back moi

Sitting outside dds room. She’s pushing me about.

Wolf - that lot sounds exhausting, but such a huge achievement!

Went out to a garden centre with dh this morning, had no plans to buy anything but picked up 2 climbing roses for a fiver each down from £13 and a Passiflora also reduced to a fiver for £18, I got one in Lidl for £1.99 a few months ago and it's taken off so well, not sure where I'm going to plant them yet.

Yesterday ds2 calls to tell us he's broken down on the motorway, he's only been driving since December last year, so I was quite worried about him, called the AA and it turns out he's burnt the clutch out, it's going to be expensive to fix and DH thinks he should pay out of his savings, it's taken ds so long to save up that I feel guilty and am thinking of paying half.

Does anyone here using 'Sinking funds'? I've been putting money away for various things since the beginning of the year and this afternoon I took the Mumsnet Christmas survey earlier on and it's got me thinking, one of the questions was about preparing early as there could be shortages, I don't want to panic buy or start too early though.

Madden & Moi- welcome back, I am a serial thread abandoner and often disappear only to return when I have more time on my hands. Always get a great welcome back

Tayto & Life - hope you both have great holidays, love the idea of a house swap but I'm not sure anyone else would want to spend a week living with FIL

And ds has pissed on his bed. On purpose I believe. He’s potty trained. We still sometimes have accidents. But he wasn’t asleep. And knows when he needs to wee.

@CamdenLurker
No, I dont have a sinking fund. But I regularly buy some christmas presents in June and July.
Done the same this year. I do it because it helps with the big expense at Christmas.
But this year, thinking to not give so many presents to the adults.
I am old enough to have a few grandchildren, and my children and their husbands/wives all have larger incomes coming in than I do now. Not quite worked out what I am going to do, but I think the time for change has arrived.
That, and I too think there will be shortages one way and another, so another reason to alter things around.

Long time lurker do you mind if I join please. We just seem to waste so much money usually just popping to the shop for milk or bread and before I know it I’ve spent £30. So I need to be more disciplined. Will be having a spendy week as off work this week and as we aren’t going on holiday we are doing bits on the house and going on days out but after that I want to reign things in

Welcome Alfie 😄

Oh God Em it happens lovely 💐

Welcome Alfie.

Bloody hell Em not what you need.

I don't necessarily have a sinking fund but I do work on annual expenses so a proportion of money goes away each month for Christmas.

Camden l am not going to stock up, if it's oos then we will go without. No sinking fund here either but it sounds like a good idea 👏👍
Your poor Ds l would have to help him pay for it too 👏❤️

NSD for me today 👍
I have been knackered today up till God knows what time watching the Olympics 😊
Wasn't it amazing ☺️

We’ve got to do work on dd car and pay £650 excess as she had a bump she agreed to pay half as she had savings and was working full time during the holidays she’s now spent it all. Having a nightmare with her at the moment so I resent paying it all for her

Alfiemoon welcome
Could she pay you back, when she's next working?

I've got sinking funds & we've also got a Christmas club at work, so money comes out of our wages weekly & then we get it at start of December. I chose to put in 31.25 weekly which will give me €1500 for Christmas, I like to take extra time off in Jan until dc go back to school so it's nice to have plenty put away.

Lightand would they be happy with Kris Kindle? Only buy for one person?
I have a Christmas party at beg of Dec for local friends & family in lieu of gifts.

To cut a long story short as it’s not a relationship or parenting board dd is nearly 20 and a student about to start her final year has always managed her money well worked 1 day a week and full time in holidays we were happy to support her through university. She has now met her boyfriend who is a controlling abusive arse she has left her university accommodation that she still has to pay for and moved in with him we found out via Facebook. We are not even supposed to know where she is living we drive round and saw her car. She’s having to work more hours as she’s supporting him who doesn’t work or study they have got pets she’s paying for so i resent paying her car insurance mobile etc. Plus she hasn’t spoken to me or text for over 3 weeks

She has signed next years lease and this year her student finance doesn’t even cover the rent which we have agreed to pay for on the grounds she actually lives there this year

She bumped her car by accidently going into reverse instead of forward in a car park into a 21 plate Range Rover no damage to her car but over £2k damage to the other car insurance company didn’t believe it so wanted her to give a statement asked her to come down and we could do it together sent her the emails copies of the letters she refused stopped speaking to me then as well so I ended up ringing them pretending to be her insurance in my name but she is named so gets her own no claims lol and I didn’t want it cancelled i wasn’t there so of course my story didn’t match so they paid out and we have to pay her excess plus her insurance will go up. Tempted to take the car off her she can walk to university from the student accommodation and either find a job there or we will pick her up or she can get the train when working but that will probably drive her further away from us and cause rows which is exactly what her boyfriend wants

Welcome Alfie My eldest is at Uni too ( just about to start 2nd year) Thankfully a lovely boyf, although her spending is way out of control. Clothes and going out mainly. It is one of my nightmares that DD (or DS) gets into an abusive relationship. I have some good info on my works computer & one of my colleagues is a DV support champion who is a wealth of knowledge - when I next log on I will look them up & post the links for you.

Moi It is lovely to see you. I am glad the 2 is still about..... I might need it in 18 months for a 21st, so if no one needs it before then I can rehouse it, although I think North might need it before then.... if my mental birthday map is right.

Em that sounds like a dog of a day. .

Wolf I am exhausted just reading that.

I am like Mrs for Christmas - see what is there and cook that. Even after 30 years I still think that it is Christmas as soon as it heats up for the summer, so I get taken by surprise each year.

You guys have taught me well - my DMum has given me £500 to cover the extra shopping costs. She is convinced that I have spent up after 4 days ( I am ?????!!!!! too) but, I am still using up the things in the fridge and freezer. We have only had to buy a bit of bread, vege and milk. She is gobsmacked that we can go to the shops and buy only what is on the list. Today's task is to sort out the larder / pantry, which should not have the added ewwww factor as it is all tins and jars.

Welcome newcomers and returners

I usually start xmas shopping around now anyway to spread the cost. Easy to pick up and stash stocking filler type things.

Ds wet the bed (again) at 130am. Not sure why.

I think he’s playing up because dd is getting more attention at night time. We’re sitting outside her door etc.

Wfh today. DH is going into the office so I’m home alone.

Kids are going to dparents.

I’m all psyched up for a better Monday and a better week.

Thanks for the welcome back messages!

That sounds really difficult, Alfie. My dsis was in a very bad relationship in her 20s and it was so stressful. She didn't stop talking to us though, and thankfully he never managed to remove our family's influence completely. She got away eventually and is much, much happier now.

While wrapping we always seem to notice we bought a bit too much for ds (oops!) so we end up giving him an extra Christmas gift or two later (his birthday is in February). And then I buy other things every so often throughout the year and stash them away. I don't usually buy for others until the autumn though. With the extra food costs in December, January often turns into a rather lean month, even though I know it's coming...

For most of the year, I 'hide' my savings from myself so I don't see that money and can't spend it, and try never to take funds out of the savings account (interest rate bonus goes away for the month if I make a withdrawal).

Alfie that sounds really tough. My dds are little atm but just reading your post made me worry about all the difficult times to come. I think you're handling the situation really well. You're still offering to support her but only in her university accommodation. I think that's really fair as you're supporting her as a student, but if she chooses to live independently then she has to support herself independently.

Em my first thought about the bed wetting was to get ds to drink more. We had a lot of bed wetting in the hot weather and someone advised that being dehydrated can lead to more bed wetting but then I saw that he'd done it earlier whilst awake - aaarrrgghhh! Yes maybe a little jealous of his sister!

Wolf I need some of your energy and motivation! I've got a car full ready for the tip and a list as long as my arm. Dds are all away with grandparents so I have today child free to get sorted. Currently still lazing in bed though!

We spent £70 on dinner out last night 😞. Eating/drinking out has always been our downfall (oh how rich we were during lockdown!!). I'd have quite happily stayed in last night but it felt like a wasted opportunity of a child free night. From September, im going to suggest to dh that we look at our calendar and plan any meals out and a budget for it. We've already spent £250 on eating out so far this month 😳 which sounds crazy but only consists of 1 x cafe lunch for the 5 of us plus payed for our friend, 1 x Sunday roast for the 5 of us plus grandad, a costa trip with my mum and dts and last nights dinner out. Obviously it is more than usual because it's the summer holidays but we've got our actual holiday to get through at the end of the month. We also used to get away with throwing bits of food from our meal at the dts but now they're 5 with healthy appetites that no longer cuts it!

madden thats intersting about dehydration. ds hadn't peed all day (or not that i can recall anyway - he's usually v vocal about going toilet).

when i was sat outside dds room last night trying to get her to sleep he was up a nd down all the time. mostly toilet. then he ran out and told me he'd peed. he was wide awake so no reason for him not to go toilet (as he had done 4 times already...although done nothing).

i'm cross with him because i'm now having to do more laundry - we have two duvets for hs bed, and both are now in the wash.

when dh/i have tried to get dd to nap this weekend, he's pretended to nap and has spent the best part of an hour crashing about in his room - i think to try and prevent dd from napping. her sleep is awful currently...

Thanks everyone it’s really tough if we can get her back to the university accommodation on her own and away from him even for a few days a week and into face to face lessons as it was previously online and he literally sat next to her watching the lessons hopefully she will see sense he used to stay there with him and had a neighbour look after his pets but has moved so hopefully that won’t be an option this year as the other girls got fed up of him being there all the time

She’s isolated herself from her previous friends as she was never allowed out on her own after he accused her of cheating which was actually messaging other people on her course about course work as it was online. He really is bat shit crazy she stayed her one night after work as it was icy and she was tired. He started messaging me in the middle of the night asking for photo proof i hadn’t locked her in the house and taken her phone off her as she wasn’t answering her phone
And when I refused started sending me abusive messages very personal which is kind of why she isn’t speaking to me now. It was dh birthday we were going out for tea she was invited as was ds 16 new girlfriend we haven’t met her yet dd kicked off as to why her boyfriend wasn’t invited so both me and dh sent the same reply that we had also tried get to know her boyfriend at first which we had he totally ruined a family day out by crying on the prom of a seaside resort after being told to not to put salt and vinegar on some chips as the order was still being brought out and that was ds lol he is 24 not 2 but we ended up coming home £50 in the chippy £50 in petrol to get there and come straight home again even dhs bad jokes couldn’t cheer him up or lighten the mood

She is still speaking to dh just not me at the moment despite our reply's being exactly the same we wrote them together.

Oh poor you em ds used to wet the bed I remember it well changing it in the middle of the night when half a sleep