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Frugaleer Festive Fun

987 replies

Unescorted · 05/12/2020 15:21

I went to post and realised we had nearly run out of room.

old thread here

Bring the sparkle on....

OP posts:
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lifelongfrugaleer · 05/01/2021 17:14

Parents eh!

NSS today

Mrsmadevans · 05/01/2021 17:50

@Gensola

mrs my granny is like this with the mad stories and my Dad barely talks to her now. She literally makes stuff up and then expects everyone to go along with it. She's been like it since he was a little boy so it's not just old age!

Long walk with DH in icy wind along river. Town is deserted. DH is feeling low about lockdown but I feel fine - maybe it will hit me later. I'm mainly worried IVF will be cancelled but my clinic seems to be open as normal.

Gen My Mother actually believes her own lies HmmGrin Hope your IVF still happens Smile Your poor Dh it's really disheartening , l feel it comes in waves Flowers Most definitely Life Grin
Onwardsandupwardswego · 05/01/2021 18:06

NSD. Mrs I take my hat off to you. The amount you do for your mum when she has been so awful is amazing. 😍😍

SnugglySnerd · 05/01/2021 18:10

Sorry I've been MIA. Have been avoiding MN a bit because I couldn't face all the angst about schools anymore! No spend week so far...

ememem84 · 05/01/2021 19:37

Car was serviced today. It needs two new tyres the radiator fan is wonky which was causing the noise and cam belt replacing. It’s going to be Spendy.

But it’s drivable for the forseeable so that’s good. Phew.

ememem84 · 05/01/2021 19:38

mrs something to be wary of that my therapist told me when we were speaking about dh and how he wants to be the dad he didn’t have because fil is horrible

She said that when you try to be what you didn’t have you can start to resent the kids. Because they have something you don’t. Not

ememem84 · 05/01/2021 19:39

Oh balls. Pressed post too soon. What I mean is don’t try and be not like Dm. Try and just be you. From reading your posts about Dm it comes across as though you do so so much for her and she doesn’t deserve someone as lovely as you xx

Mrsmadevans · 05/01/2021 20:37

Em l am me to them honestly Smile the way l am here is how l am in RL. I am a real softie can't be anything else, when l was a child l read and read and read, l got my ideas of right & wrong from books like The Silver Sword , Wind in the willows, Shadow the sheepdog of all things Smile
I escaped into them, they were my saviours they really were.
I do everything for my Mum despite her being like this because l can't be any other way toward her. I have my moments of wanting to throw it all in but l just can't walk away l have to do my duty . She is a very complex woman who has not been treated well by life when she was young and so on and so forth & history could have repeated itself with me but the buck stops with me Smile
I feel like l am the total opposite of her and l am so thankful. l used to hide my emotions because l was made to feel l was OTT , silly embarassing, stupid but l don't hold back now l am just me and l embrace it , occasionally others get me wrong but the interaction from most people is so rewarding l am just me now, all the time Smile
Thank you so much for being so kind l really appreciate it , it is so kind of you and everyone here to comfort me and listen l really am most grateful Smile

Mrsmadevans · 05/01/2021 20:38

Snuggly are you feeling better now? l hope you are . l know you were dreading what was going to happen Flowers

SingToTheSky · 05/01/2021 21:04

Wise words there em 💖

MrsM 💐

Unescorted · 05/01/2021 21:30

I agree - wise words from em. My mum has a weird revisionist version of what she was like as a parent. All of our fallings are to spite her and our successes are because of her. Everything revolves around her. I hope I am able to let my kids have their successes despite my poor parenting.

Snuggly it must be so difficult - DS did his first day of remote learning today and it went so smoothly. I need to thank his teachers and head teacher for being able to turn on a sixpence despite not knowing which plan is going to be the one that they will need.

I am so tired today... I need to get out tomorrow to breathe some fresh air.

OP posts:
Mrsmadevans · 05/01/2021 21:34

Unescorted you don't have to worry about that, the way you support and are so proud of your Dd shines from you Flowers
Thank you Sing l have been blessed with my Dh and my Dds l am so lucky Smile

maddenlightfoot · 05/01/2021 21:35

Hope everyone is ok now the dust has settled a bit... much clearer here for us today as we have secured keyworker nursery and school places and I'm going to be in school teaching rather than from home, which I prefer.

Mrs you are so strong and upbeat - you must've been the best paediatric nurse!

January:
NSDs: 2/31
Groceries: £35.90/400
Everything else: £75.80/£350

Mrsmadevans · 05/01/2021 21:38

Ahh thank you Madden Smile l loved every minute of it Smile it is so rewarding , sad on times of course but so many great memories of little ones recovering from terrible illnesses. I would do it all over again , no regrets Smile

AdoraBell · 05/01/2021 21:44

My late MIL was similar, regarding potty training our DDs she told me “all mine were clean and dry by 12 months” I just said Okay while thinking that explains so much

Mrsmadevans · 05/01/2021 21:50

@AdoraBell

My late MIL was similar, regarding potty training our DDs she told me “all mine were clean and dry by 12 months” I just said Okay while thinking that explains so much
Adorabell damned by her own words indeed , what an awful woman. Sorry, l know she is dead but my God you must have had to put up with some crap from her . I can't get the image out of my head of this woman forcing her Dc to stay on the potty till they learned to perform like a circus animal. It's awful her poor children Flowers
Mrsmadevans · 05/01/2021 22:02

Thank you Onwards Smile I have done it all my life l don't know any different tbh Hmm I will be free one day .

ememem84 · 05/01/2021 22:06

mrs 😘 I do t think I knew you were a peads nurse. Amazing job! Xxxxxx

I am feeling so so bloated. Damm you drastic change in diet. Dh doesn’t get it. But I’ve just sent him a link to an article about the worst foods to cause bloating. Cauliflower. Beans. Beans. Beans. Guess what I’ve eaten a ton of in the last 3 days.....yep.

Unescorted · 05/01/2021 22:12

Randomly I am classed as a keyworker..... as the babies are old enough to cause havoc without my help and my commute is all of 10m (meters not miles) I haven't taken up that option.

I wonder if it is a generational thing - success was measured in being the parent of the child that did things first. You can still see it on MN to an extent on the G&T or education boards. I would hope that now there is more acceptance that difference is OK that it will fall away. No child is first at everything and most are not first at anything but brilliant in many others.

OP posts:
DrDolittlesParrot · 06/01/2021 01:50

Hi, can I join in? I need to get to grips with my finances, I don't have anything left at the end of the month, but thankfully have avoided using my overdraft so far.

I've written down all my outgoings to try and work out where my money is going. My direct debits all go out on different days, so I'm going to try and get them going out in the same day so I know where I stand.

In the meantime I'll RTWT. Looking forward to tips on saving money and living frugally.

DrDolittlesParrot · 06/01/2021 01:56

Can I ask, what do you all use to budget, i.e apps, spreadsheets etc? I've been using moneymanager app, but I think I need a way to enter upcoming outgoings, that one is more to write down what I've spent.

DrDolittlesParrot · 06/01/2021 02:09

@Taytocrisps

I used my new tyre inflator and it's great Smile. So simple to use and well worth the money I paid for it.

Spends €4.98 on bread and milk. I also spent €82.32 on a new winter hoody. I have two fleecy hoodies and I've been living in them since October. My Dad usually gives me money for my birthday so I'm buying the fleece in advance of that.

A lot of speculation that the schools won't re-open on the 11th as planned. Our government will make a decision about it tomorrow.

Another very cold night tonight so I'm packing my hat, scarf, gloves, walking shoes etc. for morning. The ground was very slippery this morning and that was around 11 a.m. when the sun had defrosted the ground a bit. I'll need to allow a bit of time in the morning to defrost my car windscreen and wing mirrors. Very glad I have a full tank of home heating oil - I have huge sympathy for people who are facing fuel poverty Sad.

Right, I'll head to the supermarket before darkness (and frost) sets in.

Can I ask, what tyre pump did you get? I have this irrational fear of inflating my tyres at the garage, so would be interested in one too.
lifelongfrugaleer · 06/01/2021 06:40

Welcome drd. Are all of your outgoing needed? If they are are your on the best value?
Plan plan.
Few people uses ynab. Think @happierwithouthim is you woman there.

Money saving expert mantra for spending. Also try never to pay full price

lifelongfrugaleer · 06/01/2021 06:44

I'm using my KW place for a couple of days a week. Much to DS disgust.

Interesting parents talk. Mrs you do sound lovely and I get why you care for mumbob.
Benign neglect is mostly my style.
My upbringing is nothing like my DC and I don't parent like mine but only conscious decision in some areas.
We are more open and no topic is taboo.

ememem84 · 06/01/2021 07:03

I’d like to think we are open too. Dm clutches her pearls when ds says boobies or bum crack. Apparently it’s not nice and he shouldn’t say them.

He says bum crack because he has a book about a boy who breaks his bum (it has a crack in it...).
And boobies because he squished mine and asked what they were. Have asked Dm what I should call them and she couldn’t answer.

I don’t remember what word we used when I was a kid although we probably didn’t.

Dm is a funny one. In a therapy session I’ve likened her to the cat from “Oi frog” because “it’s not about being comfortable it’s about doing the right thing” and that’s her to a tee. You smile and do what is expected.

She’s most pissed off that at my age (36) I don’t just shop in M&S and didn’t get my hair cut short after having the kiddos. Apparently a mother can’t cope with long hair. The kids will pull it. (I do cope. Yes they pulled it. But I wash it about once a week so it actually works well! And now hairdressers are closed I don’t need to worry. Unlike her with her pixie cut....)

There’s also the “I shouldn’t have any “me” time” because the kids come first. This is classic Dm. She never had any time “off” from dsis and I when we were growing up. And doesn’t see why I need it. Says it’s selfish. although Dh is absolutely allowed because he works so so hard

Apparently I’m pushing myself too hard by trying to have everything - free time, friends, career, family (in no particular order). And should just focus on one of them. Being family.

And rant over.

Catface has eaten all of her breakfast in one go and has let Dd chase her a bit. And has sicked on the rug.

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