Festive frugaleering - Merry Christmas, and a happy 2019 to you all.

[AutumnLeaves12]

Welcome to the new thread!

That's good that you are okay financially. (Phew!) That's really important, and if that is solid, then sorting out whatever is wrong should be that much more feasible.

I wonder what's gone wrong then. Hum.

I hope today goes better for you. I will cross all my fingers for a better day for you both.

I agree that bad behaviour is bad behaviour. MH does not give you a free pass for being a dick. Wreck you don't have to be his emotional punch bag even if he is in a bad place mentally. That is not how the share and care model works. His pain is not your fault and he shouldn't take it out on you. When DH is ill he can take himself off to his pit, ask for help, be listened to and I will try to take up the slack on the domestic/ financial front. I will not be blamed for his mental state and I will not tolerate being shouted at or sulked at...and he gets to that stage he goes to stay at hospital if his behaviour persists. When he starts getting arsey we have the "what is your problem" arguement where he can articulate what it is about my behaviour that is causing him hardship....if there is nothing for me to change I leave him to it. Otherwise I get drawn down with him. With his first episode I made the mistake of thinking it was something we could fix and I somehow had contributed to his mental state.....it nearly broke me. I am not prepared to do that again.

Thanks Unescorted. We watched the first episode of 'Derry Girls' on All4. I haven't used it before and I wasn't sure if I could access it from here. But it worked .

Last day of my holidays. I'm going to tackle my bedside locker and put some books in a bag for the charity shop. I'm in a spring cleaning frenzy at the moment. I want to to do a big clear out and then buy some nice storage baskets from IKEA.

Laska if you fancy a trip across the Irish sea in the camper van, I'd be happy to recommend some places to visit. Although I'm not sure if the Gap of Dunloe would accommodate a camper van .

Morning. Dp got up at 5 this morning, as he had something he wanted to do! He has not been up before noon since Christmas day. So I was up for a bit, and have just got back up. I just have to get on with clearing up today. So much stuff. So much mess.

Really going to try for a nsd.

Me too lonely mess mess mess.

I need to iron and clean upstairs later. I did most of downstairs yesterday. I do not feel enthused

In my house it's stuff. So much stuff. Old stuff, new stuff, stuff waiting for the tip, stuff waiting for homes. I literally cannot see the floor through to the conservatory. Yet no-one here picks up or moves anything. So it's down to muggins. Here goes...

My iron is broken, I need a new one any recommendations? I only iron a few times a year so want to spend as little as possible!

Wreck I second the thoughts of unescorted, Jam and Laska. It doesn't sound like you're over reacting at all to me.
Lonely I have similar issues with the dc not tidying up after themselves. We had a rota for jobs around the house, but I was forever on their backs, chasing up what they should have done. From next week we are going to try a daily jobs list as it does vary day to day and will change depending on who is doing what in the evenings. I don't incentivise jobs as I think it is just part of being in the family, doing your share.
Thanks for your comments re the mattress. Not sure what we're going to do yet, will be dh who deals with it!
Study all day today, 6 days to go and then it will all be done (if I pass!). Curvy and Maltesers good luck with your studies too, it will be worth it in the end...

wreck I don't think you're over reacting, no one has the right to scream at you and make you feel like shit. It doesn't matter if it's unusual it's really not okay.

north I would text bil and say 'we can't afford that sorry when can you collect the mattress?'

I'm with dd who is having a facial massage, she had one before and it really chilled her out. Will cost £15.

It's my mum's b day today so am going to make a cake later, popping to morrisons first for food as am pretty cleared out.

Morning everyone. My house is a tip at the moment too. I have been mega lazy recently partly due to still not being well, but also just a kind of rut I’ve got into. I hate cleaning when no one else is pulling their weight. If everyone is out at work or at school it doesn’t bother me as much but I can’t stand being a skivvy whilst the ds sit glued to their screens. I get the proper rage 🤬

Lsd today just need bread and milk. Spent £19 on a takeaway last night not sure if that was an emotional spent or not 🤔 Is I can’t be arsed cooking (or doing anything) an emotion? 😜

Wreck I don’t think you’re overreacting. Maybe explain to your dh how belittled he made you feel. Ask him if in twenty years time he would be happy for a man to speak to your dd like that?

That's a very good idea born. I'm always looking for hints on handling conflict situations as they can be so tricky. I like that.

Ds and I have done our bit of gardening this morning. It's nice to get outside and do something like that. I had forgotten.

Ds is driving me nuts today. I’ve been asking him to get washed and dressed now for two hours. I want to go and buy the sodding school shoes. There will be consequences

My limited access account hit its anniversary and paid interest. I’ve opened an isa which pays more interest and moved the primary deposit to that. Hopefully I won’t need it for another year and it’ll earn better interest. I also opened a regular saver paying 5% with the interest and a small chunk from my annual expense account. There is a maximum pay in each month so it will never have masses in it and it only lasts a year but better having 5% interest on that money than 0.1% in my easy access saver! I also moved a chunk of my annual expense money into the vacated limited access saver as again 0.75% interest is better than 0.1 and I can get at it if I really do need it.

If I can clear the stuff, and it's just day to day cleaning and helping out, the dc (and dp) will all help out. But it is monumentally unfair to ask them to sort out a pile of ranfom crap that has been in the same spot for 4 years, fallen over countless times and been shoved back.

I think the tumble drier has died. It's bearings have been wailing for a while, but Ì cannot turn the drum now. So the washing line is being used. Not a breath of wind here, typically.

I think my oven is packing up. It's had two new fans (£200 each) in the last year and now half of the element has stopped working. It was £500, 7 years ago. Tempted to go back to coal.

Wreck what Just said 💐 hope things improve.

North tell them thanks but not suitable so pick it up on X day please. Cheeky feckers.

£7.40 ish drinks and 🍫 en route to lunch with stepson.

Morning all.
Still didn't sleep great last night and am struggling a bit, but will go for a run soonish and will hopefully feel better.
Wreck, take care of you.
Wolf hope the shoe shopping goes ok.
North, thank you, hope it goes ok for you too, I'm almost done, will hopefully do the last bit tonight.

In addition, how you would feel if your DS spoke to a woman like that; we always see it from one view but how your DH behaves towards others is shaping BOTH dc. That's vitally important.

Don't allow a less than ideal childhood to shape your idea of what is normal and acceptable. Crikey - mine was as dysfunctional as anything but I generally feel I'm a fairly rounded individual. Being honest, I can't believe how well I've done given the circumstances. #selfpromotion.

So, at 10am I went upstairs and banged a saucepan and spoon about shouting 'wake up you lazy fuckers' and between us, we've had a right laugh and the house is spotless. How the dc have used two entire tins of polish I'll never know but everything smells very clean😁

Updated spends from yesterday:
£1 in homeware shop (added to credit note I used up)

Spends today:
£2 nice bread to ease the return to work

Thanks for the encouragement north. I've written more today in 1.5 hours, than I did in the whole day yesterday. Even the title of my module is sending me to sleep "Business Issues and the Contexts of Human Resources." Snore 💤

wreck. Good advice here from others xx

May go awol for a while until I get this assignment written. I didn't sleep much last night so it just needs doing. Then my frugal reward will be catching up with you all

I like your style Jam I'm actually laughing thinking of the shocked faces if I copied your technique.

Good luck with all the assignments people.

Go for it love get it done! That does sound dull. My sister was an HR consultant, but is now at uni full time at 46

So. I shall not be purchasing a zanussi tumble dryer! Looks to be about £400. I take it a heat pump is better than a condenser? I think I might buy a £200 8kg indesit instead? If it lasts 4 years (zanussi is in year 9) then it will be ok??

Dp will only have Zanussi white goods...washing machine, dishwasher, larder fridge, larder freezer, chest freezer and spin dryer (possibly also broken, but was £20 on ebay), so he will be sniffy. But it's me paying for it, so tough titties.

3rd load of washing is on. I will have to stop after this load as my line is nearly full. Plus it is never going to actually dry outside today.

tayto Thanks for Roma recommendation. A lot of the time the films I watch on Netflix are just meh but I know that's my fault not theirs

lonely go for gentle walks with dogs first and get yourself back into it that way.

I'd a bit of a disaster with my meter readings and submitted 6000 extra units, so I got on to Electric Ireland immediately after making the blunder but I'd to submit proof of the current reading for them to sort it out. I've attempt to submit current meter reading and it's accepted it so hopefully it'll get sorted out before next bill in two months.

lll that will be a fantastic saving when ds gets into dd1's school

wreck I'm sorry to hear about what happened with your dh, was he still fuming in the car on the way back or was he feeling sorry for upsetting dd?

I'm envious of all the tidying that's going on, we were away too much over Christmas and when we were home I just wanted to enjoy time with dc, so it got left. Plus the little time H had dc for I wanted to relax and run and not be tidying the house. Our dishwasher is full of clean stuff since Sat morn, we arrived home Mon night. All laundry is done but not put away, dc clothes need sorting as some is too small for them. I think dc may be with H for an hour tonight so I'll tackle the urgent stuff then and remainder at the weekend.

Grocery shop must be done today, I finish work at 3pm. Last full grocery shop was 12th Dec

caught up to page 33

I'm not sure Happier I wasn't looking at him because I was crying and driving.

I have cleaned out the under sink cupboard of doom so I can now put the cleaning things away. Choice of the tubes that have sat in the laundry preventing the freezer closing without a wrestle or the sorting.... Jam I am so going to do that tomorrow. 😀