Countdown to a Frugal Christmas, The Friendly Frugaleers still knitting,nattering and money saving!

[QuiteFabULousDahling]

New Fred

Hope that's your three things wolf and the day gets better

I don’t think it’s a photophobia thing autimn because surely it’d be all the time - our office is ridiculously bright in the summer and she’s been with us for a few years.

She does refuse to wear glasses. She’s a non conformist in every sense of her life. Refuses to dress smartly for work (“why should I it’s how I do my job that maters” - I do sort of agree with this but still in our industry there’s is a certain degree of smartness required. So not ripped black trousers dragging on the floor with skate trainers...)

I don’t want to disbelieve. But at the same time...history suggests she’s lying.

Anyhoo.

I have made the mistake again of cold feet. My red skinny trousers are ankle grazers. And I’m wearing ballet pumps. No socks. It is 3 degrees.

Em I also get on fine with bright sunlight. So it's not generalised photophobia but a specific reaction to artificial light of one specific type with me, and possibly also with her. Still needs looked at asap.

Your friend's refusal to dress up is classic asd too. I'm like that and don't wear make-up either. I think it would be worth asking her to get an assessment. The thing to note is that though she may have features that seem to you to be a drawback, she probably has a series of great skills that you and your colleagues don't have, and an assessment might bring those to light too. If you could get to really understand her, and use her skills in the best way, and the right kind of office lighting, she might be a great asset.

You probably need to think hard about how you talk to her. The two of you may really be stepping on each other's toes and if you can figure out whether she is taking you literally, and manage to get through that then you might just solve a lot of problems very suddenly.

Good luck there.

I am choosing parts for a new PC to buy on my science grant today, so that's rather exciting. Yay!

Morning all, for some reason mn has locked me out of my phone which is very annoying!

How did she get the job in the first place Em? I think regardless of any diagnosis if your employer has dress rules you should follow them, yes to reasonable adjustments but no to just doing what you want and disregard everyone else!

Ouch Wolf hope the rest of your day improves.

I had a lovely dinner out last night and some more nice gifts, have been very spoilt.

Now have two days to get ready for the party, I need to clean the house top to bottom and do a big shop at Aldi to get food for the party and for guests staying her Saturday night.

Dd has come home with a letter for another London trip, she did it this year and enjoyed it so wants to go again next year. They want £85 by the 3rd of Dec for a deposit. They did exactly the same thing last year and asked for a large deposit right before Christmas. Am thinking about it and will probably need to ask my parents if they will help.

😂 at Seacow....

Em, I needed to google Javelin arse but I'm a fellow sufferer. I honestly didn't know it was a thing, just something I get - it's excruciating at times! I'm kind of glad to know others get it.

I'm with you Girlie, I'm all for reasonable adjustments, we have a few going on a work but I think we'd need to take advice if said adjustments then impacted negatively on other workers. It's got to work for everyone and everyone needs to comply with the appropriate practice in the work place, especially if client facing.

Ocado delivery due soon, then banking a cheque and dissolving a small business we have (form filling). Saved a bit of tax that we weren't expecting to so that's positive.

Going to the local panto tonight.

Life I've been given a Riverford veg book by a friend that doesn't want it, I'll update you when I've looked at it and seen if it's useful.

Bless you Wolf.🍰🍰

Girlie yes I agree. I looked at law and corporate jobs and banks and just ran a mile. I'd have got nowhere there. Em's person needs a non-client facing job if she wants to dress like that.

Lets not google javelin arse......

Let’s just stay frugal instead.

Just pondering the whole dress thing - I remembered that once in my old research institute some guys blagged their way into the building, pretending to be staff, to try to pinch some very expensive computer equipment. They got caught and arrested purely because they were smartly dressing in suits. Its a dead give away that. Nobody wears a suit in my kind of workplace.

Good reminder fluffy, we've gone off track somewhat!

Radio 5 have just had a debate about Black Friday, mainly stuff we frugal folk already know, but useful reminder such as having a specific list, track prices, don't get sucked into feeling you absolutely need something etc.

And more niche, but if you dissolve a company, the Duke of Westminster (or his estate) can take all the money left in the business after 28 days! Our accountant found this little known fact out to the cost of one of his clients. There's a fair bit in ours, due to consulting work DH used to do, hence I'm going to move it.

Refund for a full pack of beer given by Ocado as one of,the bottles was smashed. £10

Might I ask for hints on how Black Friday works? I've to buy computer parts asap to buy a PC using my science grant money.

I've chosen the parts and they're all reduced already on Amazon. Am I meant to wait until Friday, or just buy them now?

I'm being very careful with my people skills. You would be proud of me. I've just avoided a very complicated admin situation involving many many overworked people and turned into much less work for only me and one other person. Phew!

Also my musical instrument on ebay has just sold for the third time. I wonder if this guy will actually pay for it. #suspense

The Duke of Westminster’s not a bad looking lad though.....

I think amazon will refund the difference if items drop further on Black Friday Autumn.

Retailing spends millions on manipulating us to spend while thinking it’s all our idea. You have to keep that in mind.

£70 spent on dhs Christmas present.

It’s doubtful that I will have any nsd until I finish my Christmas shopping, but it’s all coming out of the money I have saved so is accounted for. It still feels a bit reckless and wrong somehow. I am hoping to get most of the stuff I still need tomorrow. It’s mostly just my DSs and DH that I have still to buy for anyway and I have been extensively bargain hunting 😇

No idea how she got the job if I’m honest. It was a done deal by the time we heard she was to start. By the wonder of Facebook we looked her up and found that we (me and some of the team) knew people who knew her. Someone put the feelers out and found out that it was suggested she leave her old job. She jumped before she was pushed. She’s notorious for being off sick a lot (especially when her clients get busy) being lazy and rude (again the rudeness is nothing to do with asd. It’s pure rudeness).

Anyway. Work have said for them to process adjustments they need a formal diagnosis and an occ therapist type person needs to review her working area. But they need a diagnosis. Work are doing things to assist. But she sees them as being difficult. Again making me think it’s not real. But that’s HR’s issue really. Not mine. Except I have to deal with the “it’s not fairs” (and the “well they’re letting you bring ds in tomorrow blah blah blah why can’t they make adjustments for me...?!”

Ds is coming in tomorrow. For max an hour while dh goes to an appointment. Ds will be spoiled by everyone here. Given his weight in biscuits and will probably disrupt things somewhat. But it’s a one off....and it was either I take a 9am lunch or this....

Don’t give a fuck, he’s not getting my dosh😂

Sorry to hear that Em that all sounds fantastically complicated. Good luck there. Taking the piss and being lazy is definitely not an asd thing. If anything the opposite. All my asd friends are workaholics and incredibly productive at work.

I've just been on a mission to buy all the bubble wrap in the world to post my instrument. It's said £19.99 on the price sticker and it was £9.99 so that was a bonus.

I just spent £1040 on amazon on the fastest computer I will have ever seen.

I've to reclaim the money from my grant though. Phew!

Clarinet lesson now and I forgotten to cook lunch. #idiot

£77 in aldi but that was the big pretty party shop which I'd budgeted £100 so think that's not bad. May need a few last min bits though.

Came home to find a card from my aunt and uncle with £100 cheque in, so generous!

£3.50 in the post office posting a parcel.

AUD$107 on hamper for bil and sil in Aussie. Ordered online for direct delivery.

That’s the Aussie and nz gifts done. Just have to post the stuff I’ve got here now. Will wrap this weekend and post next week.

Found £30 in an old bookie account so I’ve withdrawn £20 and left £10 in, I think if I do a £10 bet I’ll get a free bet. I’ll email and ask them.

£8.99 sign up to profit accumulator. Determined to crack it this time.

Please feel free to mock me if I don’t. It’s the only way I’ll keep going.

Girlie Check your banks app, you might be able to bank that online and it’ll clear quicker than when you go to the bank.

Very spendy few days, but all Christmas presents and the money for them as been set aside for quite some time.

Both are getting an Alexa dot. DS1 new Jim jams, DS2 a new onesie. And I’ve also got them both an ibeanie.

Main gift for DS2 is a swegway sigh. But hey, it’s what he asked for.

DS1 is a little more complicated. He wanted a gaming pc. But firstly his room is tiny, there’s no space for a desk to put it at. Then there’s the fact that he’s starting his GCSEs next year, so he was always going to need some form of IT for studying. So. While it is going to cost us a lot more than we would ever usually spend, we are now on the hunt for a laptop that he can both work and game on. We’ve talked about it a lot last night, that he might not get a laptop with all the gaming capacity he’d like, but he gets that he needs something to do schoolwork on. It’s a compromise.

PC deals on amazon are good just now. Probably laptops too.

My new PC is an i7-8700 processor, 32GB RAM, 1TB solid state hard drive, 4TB spining disk hard drive, a case, power supply and Windows operating system for £1000. Not bad at all.

I know all About that Duke of Westminster shizzle Jam. Found out the hard way a few years back, to the tune of about £12k. Needless to say the accountant I had at the time is no longer my accountant... 😐

NSD so far. But the gift I bought for the child at the refuge (boy aged 2), of some of those magnetic tile thingies, arrived and it says from age 3. I’d give them to DD no problem as they are reasonably large solid pieces but I don’t want to ruin Christmas for someone by making them worry about it (or the child not being allowed to play with the present). Should I get something else instead?

Help me with maths people.

I we are spending 175 between 2 people and one of us is making purchases with 50 of that money and the other with 125 of that money what does person a owe person b?

H and I can’t seem to reach agreement. I am the person spending 125 and I think person b owes me 37.50

Ouch!!! seacow. That's a sum and a bit to lose. I've been told to leave a nominal figure in the account, which I'm going to reduce further I think. There was a lot more than 12k in this account, which is now in my account. It will go into pension funds anyway.

wolf, I'd consider your maths to be right.