Friendly Frugaleers Ambling into Autumn, watching our wallets and the weather!

[Cagliostro]

Hello! All welcome as we continue trying to use our money wisely!

You lot are so chatty - don't think I have even managed one post on this thread yet. Welcome Mischief - sorry circumstances are so hard - how many children and how are you managing childcare and work by yourself?
worked out I have £730 for the month - to cover petrol, food, horses and anything else ( all bills already paid) - yesterday £16 small top up shop - today out for lunch £19 - so £35 gone - £695 left.

Want to get a road bike - whoever had a bike shop - lonely? what would you recommend - price say up to £300 - thanks

I think with MH issues are really swept under the carpet when its a massive issue and getting worse.
I really didnt mean I neglected my babies in favour of myself they were always on the bloody boob just took every opportunity to look after myself when I could and get DH involved.
I had PND after my first and realised a lit of my problems stemmed from the perfectionist in me trying "to do it all"
Its also not great to have DC who think you are little more than a servant and I see this all the time in older children whivtreat their mothers apallingly .
Obvs very different and harder if you a lone parent or have DC with SN.
Im just being honest about what I needed to survive and "alone time" was top of the list -still is !

I think the alone time is what I’m struggling with since Cagletini was born. It’s been very hard to go back to always being needed, as with the other two being 10/8 years older it had been a long time and it was easy to pop out and DH (very hands on, the only thing he is rubbish at is clothes, he brought down a sleep suit for her this morning 🤦‍♀️😂) would often take the Caglets out for the day etc so that was easy. For the first six months or so it was still easy as I could just keep the sleeping snuggly baby with me and feel almost as rested as if I were alone, could just sleep or take her in the buggy or sling (plus I absolutely couldn’t face being away from her other than having a nap etc, think I was more bothered than her!), but since she started crawling etc she is very full on so “leaving mum with the baby” is much harder work than when we are all together. I do get out but not as often or for very long. I feel like PND is creeping back in a bit TBH, but not the intense anxiety that I had in the early weeks, more of a “fuck this is endless” type flatness! But equally it’s not forever.

Nice lunch out today with DSD and a friend who were both visiting. DSD paid for dessert which surprised me and reminded me that my step kids are actually proper grown ups with jobs now! Still thought it was sweet of her to offer/insist though :o

Oh Cag
I couldnt bear to be away from mine either but equally craved being alone 😂😂😂
I coped by making every evening my bath time and still do.
Nice bath and my book -woe betide anyone who disturbs me unless its an emergency !
Did you get the play pen?
Life saver when they are crawling /on the move .

wrongwayup I have two children one school age and one just starting nursery. Work full time and juggling it all is a challenge but we can make it work if I’m organised.

I can very much relate to the MH issues being discussed. I have suffered on and off in the past and got pretty good at spotting the early signs of things slipping and I can usually do something about it if I notice and catch it early enough. I have a fairly big gap between my two and while the oldest goes off to her dads regularly I am Mum and Dad to my youngest for reasons I won’t go into. I can totally relate to the “this is endless” feeling Cag. It isn’t forever and I know that but i do feel like I am constantly chasing my tail.

On the other hand doing it myself and taking care of me and my littlest has been the most empowering thing I have ever done and has done wonders for my self esteem! Each time I do something by myself I do feel proud. It might be something small like reprogramming the heating or fixing something but each little thing reminds me I can do this.

tayto I love a bit of mustard clothing. Berry and jewel colours also.
I’ve been looking on Pinterest at capsule wardrobes and autumn looks

I need a new smart coat. I’ve seen a mustard one I think would be nice but am really after a black or a grey. The deal I’ve made with myself is to buy a smart black/grey coat for work. Then if I can afford the yellow one (if it gets reduced) and if it’s still in my size I can have it.

I’ve told dh how I feel now.

mischief and welcome - I have been on and off the group at times and always found these guys a friendly and supportive bunch big adjustment for you, we have a family member going through similar at the moment and its been tough, but she has found that concentrating on getting the practical bits sorted for the kids has helped with the emotional side of things. to all you guys going through this

we havent left the house today - have given it a good clean, caught up on laundry etc - the weather let me down a bit this afternoon whilst I was having a nap and soaked it all so tumbling away now. Made a roast beef dinner (meat seared then done in slow cooker), and rescued a very sad looking pineapple by turning it into pineapple sponge. yum!

good deal on boots site til tomorrow 21 points per pound when you spend over 60 and the christmas 3 for 2 stuff is on, got some xmas lego sorted (be careful if you do go on as some of the sets are cheaper elsewhere and some are same price so I stuck to those) and topped up the shower gel cupboard etc. If anyone has nationwide the simply rewards has 10% back on boots also. So spent £60 after 3for 2 offers applied, I got £13ish back in points and £6 in cashback. Trying to get sorted for xmas early

Not yet quite I’m feeling a bit paranoid about it being delivered when we aren’t here (as we don’t know the neighbours yet) 🤦‍♀️😳

Cant you choose a timed delivery Cag?

So you got a third back

12% off the works too.

Catface is here on the living room rug. We’ve just had some nice grooming time. She loves her brush. She is a happy girl.

Tomorrow should be a nsd.

must take a nosy in the works actually fluffy, thanks! Im new to the simply rewards just saw about it on the hot uk deals app. Before the 3 for 2 stuff came off it was £79 so Im chuffed

Had a word with myself and did exactly that quite or at least it’s guaranteed by Wednesday and there can be someone in every day till then anyway. Well not tomorrow but I doubt it’ll be ready that soon. £64.

Now to resist getting her lots of new toys to go in it.

Oh FFS I’m an idiot. Am out on Wednesday. Fucksake. Why am I so stupid 🤦‍♀️😳😭

@Cag if you want to resist toy buying, watch(or rewatch) last weeks shop well for less. 10 grands worth of toys the family had!
Try and get some time for yourself too. I know it’s hard and feels selfish, but don’t forget, happy mum, happy kids. It will benefit you all.

Not much going on here, feels like we are in limbo till DS2 goes back on Tuesday and DS1 on Wednesday. One thing I am going to do is sit them down to plan the weeks meals. We used to do this but got out of the habit.

Right I have had another word with myself 🙄🤔 and cancelled the first one (thankfully it let me - when I ordered a Moses basket and tried cancelling it a few minutes later, it wouldn’t let me 😡). Ordered the other one I was looking at, which isn’t so nice to look at but is a little bigger, and got named day delivery as it’s sold by amazon rather than marketplace. So guaranteed for Tuesday when we are actually in. And Wednesday I can go out as planned (with catsandboots as it happens... first day of term = home ed trip!) and not feel all anxious about whether the item is delivered or not (ok I may have lied about the anxiety not being an issue. It is.)

DH is trying to switch locations at work. Also keeping an eye out for other jobs altogether. Basically he is stuck doing late shifts and it is really shit, it is the main reason I struggle TBH. Because the evenings just drag so much. It really hits me when we’ve had people round, if they go at 5 say, I realise I have another 6 hours alone. Sigh. There’s another branch his manager just moved to and she would like him to go there to do mornings, same distance from home, but it all depends on other people, budgets etc as to whether that’s possible. So we shall see.

The trade off however is that he’d then be around less for the home ed stuff in the mornings. Which may be tricky with baby. Swings and roundabouts etc.

Hope work is ok tomorrow girlie - take it easy!!

I'm feeling really flat and down at the minute. I'm not sure what to change to sorry myself out - some thing. Will think about it tomorrow after some sleep

NSD

Sorry to hear that life

Wine life and coming to mine for the weekend and dancing round my kitchen to ABBA. The risk is this makes you worse, as you haven't seen my dancing queen moves. Xx

I've missed today's posts, there's probably about a hundred. Just picked up with my concern for life.

Just repeat anything you've specifically said to me.

I've been doing a team relay event today and we did really well. Myself and my partner won our individual relay leg as fastest females for that leg and home with a massive trophy for our efforts. We were on a mixed team and came in the top few teams overall which meant I'm really fucking goosed as we've had to run seriously quickly to try to match the pace of our fastest male team mates, we did it though. Elevation gain of 1000ft over 10 miles made it a little tougher....

north I did read your post before I set off on my running. I'm so glad you enjoyed Harlow Carr and Betty's. I'm going to take Dmil and DM I think. Recommending it to you reminded me of it iyswim? Hope your hours change goes okay tomorrow and good luck to your DS for college.

I'll read back now.

Take care life 💐

Welcome mischief
Thanks for the author Quite

NSD.
Today I have sorted out all my outfits for the week, this really made me look at my clothes and I realised that I don't actually like some of them, but really can't afford new ones yet...sigh. Also have no idea of fashion.
Bag sorted and packed for first day back at work tomorrow.
Everything ready for the dcs on Wednesday too.

for you, life.

JAM bloody well done!
I'm just having a then will head to bed as need sleep