Friendly Frugaleers Ambling into Autumn, watching our wallets and the weather!

[Cagliostro]

Hello! All welcome as we continue trying to use our money wisely!

Can you guys stop talking while I catch up.

I have a pressure cooker ( £20 Sainsbury's because it had a scuffed box.....) It makes a huge difference. It has a sauté and pressure cook mode. No slow cooker but because of the insulation it stays hot for hours anyway. So I just bring it up to pressure and turn it off. I need more practice with the amount of water / liquid and cooking times though.

Wolf are you ok? You sounded really fed up on the end of the last thread. You are amazing and dignified in what is clearly a really traumatic time. I am in awe.

Off to read up on this war and peace epic of a thread. I may be some time.

Morning all.

Dh “helpfully” brought ds in to see me at 7. And then went to have a poo. So I did breakfast. Ds not settled at all this morning. Teeth maybe. Dh is of the opinion that I don’t spend enough time with ds. I’ve just had a go at him for that. Completely uncalled for.

He says he’s stressed. He says he can’t cope. He says he needs to talk. But won’t talk to me. He says he sbeing bullied and harassed at work. But won’t say anything to hr. I’ve suggested this numerous times now. But he doesn’t do anything about it.

Ds is now napping. I’m chilling. Dh is having breakfast.

I’m off to yoga at 10 to clear my head. Dh has muttered something about it being convenient because ds will be awake then so I’m avoiding him. I offered to go to the gym now.

Have pointed out that I can’t exercise at lunchtimes as the gym is too far for me to get there and back and do a sufficient workout in an hour. Have pointed out the only time I have is either before work (leaving dh to do the mornings and Nursery drop offs) or after work (Nursery pick ups) or weekends (impacts family time). So when suits him.

I realise it’s a proper first world problem this so will stop moaning soon.

Should be a nsd. As gym is paid for. In advance for the year.

I'm trying to find a villa for next year but it's a nightmare! When I looked a month or so ago there seemed loads but now there's hardly any in our budget or they just don't respond to our booking request

Happy birthday North ds

Ds has a busy day today. But first we must fit the gumshield of doom, a process ds never cooperates with and I hate doing so the last few years I have let h just get on with it. This morning I need to eat the frog
Money from h still not in account. He apparently went to bank yesterday and the issue is with the bank although they seem somewhat blasé about resolving it from what he has said

oh how I would love to have a storage unit full of yarn currently working on an autumn colours scarf. I have way too many work in progress pieces lol

that is pants about the car though. one of our cars is also playing up a bit so its made me think about how we would finance a new (second hand!) car when the time inevitably comes. Its a 7 seater but dont really need it as a family of 4 and the fuel costs are high with it

wolf I had forgotten all about gumshields and the like lol enjoying that our two are still tiny I am not looking forward to the teenage years!

Em Is it possible that you would be better off hiring a live-in nanny? It seems to me as though both you and your dh are well paid and very career driven, and that option might give you both the freedom that you need while leaving someone reliable in charge of your ds.

I’m wearing my gym outfit and am heading to yoga. Woop.

Today (once I get back) will be spent hydrating (I am not drinking enough water) cleaning (again - seriously how much mess can one child make?!?!) putting things away and making a curry. Dsis is coming for dinner.

We may get the paddling pool out for ds and might go for a blackberry walk. Dh does have to go into work today. So no idea when he’ll do this.

In other news. Catface is subbing herself in the “playroom/sunroom” she’s a legend. I took her food and put it downstairs. Along with her water. To basically force her downstairs. She’s found a comfy spot on the sunshiney carpet near the French windows. And is having fun rolling about. 😻

take we did talk about this but the issue we had with a nanny was the employment and legal side. There is so so much to do we didn’t want to be employers. Not just yet anyway.

And Nursery is good for ds. He mixes with other kids etc.

It’s more the feeling I don’t have enough time when I’m not working to dedicate to him as well as being selfish and doing things for me. Me doing things for me leave dh with ds. Which is good for them. But at present I think dh resents it. Because he does his “me” time during the week at lunchtimes (mostly to facilitate me doing mine....).

I’m at the gym. Waiting for the yoga class. The room is currently being used by a portuguese church group. It sounds intense. The preacher is a bit shouty.

Time is the big issue when you have kids, there's just not enough hours in the day. Could you do some classes in the evening em when ds is in bed? Your dh sounds petulant though and he really should not be moaning about looking after his own baby.

I've had a long sleep (sorry snuggly ) and am thinking about getting up, dd has written a list of all the things she apparently still needs for school, will pop back to town but am not spending loads!

Happy Birthday North Ds.

Fluffy I hate watching over a pot and love being able to just throw thing in the slow cooker and walk away. I use our slow cooker a lot, however if I take something out of the freezer to cook that night I don’t have time to slow cook it. This is where the pressure cooker will come in - I am hoping it will change my life 😂

Ds1 was quite moody and used to quote his teachers saying that it was normal and all part of puberty. I think he thought it was a liscense to be outrageous! That and the fact that I went through an early menopause made for an interesting couple of years...

How often to you go to the gym after work em? Could DH not do alternate nights?

The annual gum shield debacle was repeated if I could afford to get the dentist to do it I would

Snuggly hope you managed to get some more sleep.
Happy Birthday North ds.

I must get some knitting out soon! I always start something (something rectangular) in winter. Never manage to finish anything but I like the action - feels so cosy!

Em I'm not sure how things differ in CIs but we employ a nanny and use Nannypaye for all the admin side of things - couldn't be easier, just pay her in exactly the same way we used to pay for nursery for our eldest with vouchers, and more recently tax-free childcare savings. However we did love nursery for our eldest and would use that option if possible but a nanny is the most affordable and logistically convenient right now.

Having children is a seismic shift in relationships that needs constant negotiation. I still don't have the answer to the right balance. I was due to go back part-time after my youngest but was offered a full time job much closer to home. My DH still hasn't adjusted to how this has impacted on me. Now if I'm not at work/commuting I'm with the children. We have lots of 'conversations' about the ease at which he can tack on a gym session or doctors appointment to his working day without consultation whereas if I were to do the same it would involve a complex re-arrangement of childcare.

Are there any winter vegetables you could plant Jam? or purple sprouting broccoli? that needs a really long time to be harvestable.

NSD.

Ironing done
Hamster cleaned
Sports kit washed and hung out
Floor vacuumed
Winter coats put in to wash dishwasher emptied and refilled and toast eaten
All whilst ds got showered and dressed! Grrr

Thisis my h was very much unable to see that my running ds to all his activities during the week and at weekend had a significant impact on my working and personal life. The best he managed was occasionally walking to one activity that took place at the end of our street!

Not sure that nannypay works here... it’s somehing we may look into in the future. For example if we had another one as would be cheaper than Nursery.

I’ve scheduled in yoga on a Sunday morning. For the next 2 weeks.

I want to make this a regular thing. As I really enjoyed the class today.

I could go to the gym after ds has gone to bed. But (always a bit) the barrier here is me. By the time he’s gone to bed (between 730 and 8) we’ve eaten dinner/eating dinner and it’s time for us to wind down. So I generally don’t feel like it. Will try and go maybe in the mornings before work (gym opens at 6. So could just get it done) one day a week. Maybe a Monday or a Friday especially while we’re living here. Dm can help with ds. As those are her childcare days!

I’m just moaning really. Because I’m exhausted.

Dsis has come round now to use the garden to top up her disgustingly dark tan. I didn’t think she was that tanned but she just adjusted her bikini bottoms and she has a Lilly white butt.

Dh has gone into work. Dsis has put our laundry outside taken the baby monitor and has sent me off for a nap. She will get Ds up and will do anything but nappy change.

I’m in bed. I can hear the lovely Indian family across the road - they’re having a party of some sort with paddling pool etc for the kids. The lovely neighbour (who works with dh) knocked earlier and invited us across for a bit. We may go over later.

Would anyone mind if I joined you lovely ladies? I’ve been lurking for a while. DH walked out on us a few months ago and I’ve had to adjust my life and my budgeting skills significantly since then. I’m getting back on my feet now but I could do with a bit of moral support with the being more frugal and to be honest I could do with a few friendly people to chat to as well 😊.

Welcome mischief. That's quite a change that you're coping with there.

We just had lunch out with family. £20

mischief everyone is welcome here.

I have just spent most of the day up a hill shouting at people. It is very cathartic. I would recommend marshalling mountain bike races for stress release. I also sacrificed my hair bobble to fix the bike of the MD of the company I want to buy my bike off...... I am hoping for a good price.

Hello Mischief Fuck me that's a lifestyle change.

I have made a suet pastry pudding & de-boned half a lamb shoulder then cubed for tagine. Then I made lamb tagine with my lidl cheap veg in the slowcooker I needed for the pudding......bollocks. Hopefully my smaller slowcooker will take it.

I'm just having a quiet moment while dh is with the kids. I'm not achieving anything but I'm enjoying it! Was just about to say NSD but realised we need milk and sandwich stuff for work tomorrow. Off the shop in a minute then...

Thanks 😊
Yes it has been a huge change with extra complications I won’t get into so I don’t out myself.
I’ve spent today re toddler proofing my house for the latest round of mischief we seem to be getting up to . I spent some money on new cupboard locks and a few bits to make new treasure baskets to keep in the cupboards she is allowed in. I also cooked and stripped a chicken to make meals for the week later and carcass is waiting to be turned into soup. I’m slowly getting into batch cooking and using left overs. Only have money left for food and fuel until payday now but shouldn’t be anything else we need hopefully.