Frulgaleers - Jumping into June

[Laska5772]

We filled up the last thread before we did a new one!
Hope you find this !

wolf no I haven’t. Dh seems very against it. He is fine with it for me (or anyone else for that matter) because it’s for “people who are broken or not strong enough to deal with life” (this is something he’s said in the past not right now). But he’d probably never do it himself.

He just got shitty because I had a second glass of wine earlier. He asked me if I wanted a top up. I said yes but only if he was ok to drop mil home. Otherwise I’d stop at my half a glass. He said he’d drop her back. She’s just left but about half hour ago I took some night nurse. “Oh so you’re guaranteeing I’ve got to drive then....” I have pointed out that without the night nurse I’d be over the limit anyway so he’d still have to drive. Ffs.

He needs to sort his head out. Because I can’t help him really until I’m “fixed” I tried explaining this to Dm. How can I effectively help him if I’m a mess. I’m exhausted, stressed, anxious and feel low. I’m no good to anyone at present. I feel as though I’m just surviving the days. I don’t want to eat anything (very unlike me I usually get super excited by food) I’m eating not much but because I have to. I know this is the stress and anxiety affecting me. And once it lifts I’ll be ok.

Dm is of the breed of woman who believe you do everything to please your husband no matter what. The amount of times she’s not done something because dad didn’t want to is unbelievable. Or she’s done something because he wanted to and never anything for herself. But if she’s happy.

cag I hope that’s a walk in pantry cupboard on the downstairs plan

Cag that looks great. I’d seriously consider murder to get an airing cupboard. I’m no good at maths so I can’t help on the sizing with no wall lengths on the plan but the layout looks good to me and two loos with 5 people is great.

Em don’t put too much on yourself, it’s definitely not your responsibility to fix everything.

Please make sure you tell the gp everything you’ve said in your post. Those are all symptoms that need to be taken into account.

At the risk of putting my nose or foot in it. I have some (a lifetime) of experience of personally living with and living with people with anxiety, stress and depression. If you ever need to talk I am here for you.

Happy birthday wolf

wolf I’ve written is all down in case I can’t tell the gp. #willprobablycry

I feel wierd about speaking to someone about my relationship with dh. It’s oddly personal. And I feel like I’ll be telling tales on him iyswim. But at the same time I need some perspective. And paying to speak to someone else will probably be kinder on me mentally than the relationships boards!!!!

I actually also feel better knowing that I’ve admitted I have a problem. That’s the first step right? Realise the problem then work to fix it.

Thank you Life.

Em Paying for someone is definitely better than the relationship boards especially as you can focus on your goal for the relationship rather than everyone virtually yelling ltb at you every two minutes

Its an ok size Cag for a HA house .. a bit on the small side for a 3bed 5p house from the old standard which would have been between 86 and 93 sqm .
However i imagine because your 2 girls will be expected to share (and cagliotini is so small) , you will be fine .
As they grow you may be able to move to a larger HA house

Will that be the total square footage for both floors. So say each floor is 26 m2. Did the house look fairly v square or long and narrow? From the plan I would say fairly square therefore a roughly guestimate would say each side is 5m. Maybe grid it out on squared paper then.? Not totally sure though.
Take a tape measure when you view.

Em that's a tough time with you and dh. Pleased mil is behaving though they are like a tag team.
Maybe he is on tenterhooks in case there is another row. Doesn't excuse shit behaviour but may explain it.

Sorry to hear about your dad love. I hope a good plan is put together for him, however that looks.

£10 Sainsbury's today.

em I'm sure you are doing the right thing.. you've been taking such a lot of the work on what with trying to organise house moves/ supporting your Dsis and DH and looking after DS.

MIL and going back to work have probably been the final straws .I am not surprised you feel exhausted .Its not a sign of weakness . x

I am glad your relationship with MIl has improved a bit..

Happy birthday Wolf

Em, I think it's a good idea to talk someone totally independent. They can help you talk through your thoughts, written down is good too. They have no agenda but can give an outside perspective. It will help you put in some coping strategies and get your thoughts clear on what to do next.

love sorry to hear about your dad, bowel cancer is hard to treat and if he is in his 80s my guess is they won't want to do anything too invasive (surgery) or brutal (chemo) as the benefits would not outweigh the risks. Cancer in older people does generally progress much more slowly though as cells divide so much slower 🌻

cag I wonder if that store downstairs on the right has plumbing?. You could put the dryer in there if there’s power. It’s lovely the lounge opens into the garden like that. My house is 2012 build.

Love sorry hear about your df, it does sound like there will be no more treatment

Em sorry your dh is being such an arse, being tired is no excuse for shouting at you. You've had a big upheaval going back to work & realised you're not superwoman hope your appointment goes well.

Cag house looks brilliant lovely layout with dining/living room at back of house. And great storage too, hope ye get a viewing soon.

We had a fab day out with a challenging walking trail of 3.3km followed by picnic followed by 3 hours at garden centre/playground I spent €8.90 on some desserts as dm treated us to some drinks plus I won €20. After I went to Aldi & spent €9.55 so almost a nsd as I'm up about 65c met an old work colleague & his wife & my pregnant neighbour(6 weeks to go so struggling with the heat) and her daughter

Love sorry to hear about your dad.

Spend ps today £14 in Superdrug on 2 foundations. DD1's new foundation from the winter is now too pale for her (made her look sick) so brought the next shade along. While dd2 has been using DD1's from last summer and finished it, so brought her the next shade darker. Shame they can't share, but DD1's summer shade is DD2's winter one, so I guess they do share!

Tesco £13 salad cream, packs of microwave rice (work lunches) and dome fruit.

£12 in M&Co, DD1 has their year 6 cafe project this week. She applied and received a job as a waitress. Requested "uniform" black and white so I bought her a back skater skirt, she has been asking for one for ages. Had to buy age 13 as 11 looked short and no 12, so should get my money's worth.

£40 for show tickets for the girls and I for a show Friday night that sone of the young adults from dancing are in, going with 2 other mum's and girls, friends of DD1.

Plus £1 for a bow on a clip to top up a dancing costume for show on Saturday. (Hoping he girls aren't too grumpy after Friday night out)

Love I’m very sorry about your dad. :(

Thank you for all the thoughts on the house! DH measured our living room and it’s 3.6m across, which is the entire house width. So presumably we are better off. I know no new house is going to be huge, I just want somewhere bigger than here really, even if it’s only a little, it is very claustrophobic here (particularly due to no natural light getting in, so the French window on the plan I found is a very attractive prospect). Gah. I am possibly overthinking. I would really like to just switch my brain off until we see the house.

Sorry for waffling! Where would I be without you guys. Xx

This is a floor plan of a nearby house that is virtually the same layout as our current one, except our kitchen is smaller.

Floor plan to floor plan Cag it definitely looks like you will feel that there is more family friendly space even if it’s not actually bigger metre for metre

Em You're definitely doing the right thing. You don't need to think of it as "getting help". I'd think of it as hiring a management consultant to help you deal with the personnel that you are responsible for managing. That's totally what it is. I've been seeing someone for 3 years and she helps me to figure out who is being unreasonable and where to set boundaries and how to do it gracefully. She's a positive Godsend, and worth her weight in gold.

I have a mission to go and see my GP today. I also often have to take stories written down in case I can't say them out loud, but hopefully not today. Wish me luck!

Cag I estimate you’ve got about 54m2 now, from those plans (estimating length of the house) . Compared to the 86 you’re getting, that’s 1.6ish times current space. It’s not a super generous size but the layout is really nice and you’re used to so little space (and storage) that it will still make a massive difference I reckon. See what you think about the kitchen because the amount of storage and surface in there will also make a massive difference, practically.

I am still incredibly full of cold, this is a humdinger. Night nurse doesn’t touch the congestion . Thanks DD.

Thanks seacow that was about my estimate too. So although it’s not a huge amount more, as a percentage it’s a pretty big increase. The light/airiness of the living room is especially important as we get fuck all light in our living room even in the height of summer, which is pretty miserable. And yes, the kitchen is important as the lack of counter space here is massively awkward.

I’m really intrigued about the narrow storage space (assuming the other one is an under stairs cupboard like we currently have). Will need to find out if we are allowed to put up shelves etc. Somehow we will have to gradually work out exactly what storage we need to work with the space there is. As well as getting rid of a lot of crap we don’t need. Eep.

I will stop waffling at some point I promise. I have been awake since shortly after four, Cagletini fed to sleep quickly but I haven’t managed to drop off at all. I have tipped over from tiredness into an alternate dimension where all that exists are confusion and eye twitches.

Hope you feel better soon BTW, and good luck to sunny as well :)

Sea can I suggest sinex or vicks nasal spray. Even the Vicks one that’s just saline could help ease your congestion and that horrid full face feeling

Cag I have that same eye twitch. So glad it's not just me. The house sounds great. :-) Thanks for the good luck. I always need that on GP visits. Wish I had the talking skills.

Good luck Sunny