When you've been skint, what was the cruellest thing anyone did to you?

[corygal]

Cos writing it down might help you banish it. Here's mine - and no, I'm not going to start with an apology.

When I left college, in debt and rather ill, I flat shared with friends. Kindly parents bailed us with cardboard boxes of edibles - we loved them more than Harrods hampers, even tho I bet Harrods don't include Tesco beans and Maxwell House chicory. Aware my own parents hadn't helped, I timidly asked Mum if she had anything spare I could carry back as loot to the girls.

She gave me one cooked sausage. Then announced she'd bought my brother a car. When I got home I realised the mash on the sausage was mould.

Glad someone understands CharlieUniform. Anyway, what age/size is your Ds? and where ish are you?

Cinnabar

Have you ever found a ten pound note down the side of the sofa cushions? It's unbelievably easy to lose one their when your friend goes to the loo, or to make a cup of tea.

Buying clothes for DCs, just because it was soooo cute you literally couldn't resist it. Could you accidentally buy more food than you could possibly eat, having had a dippy day, or find that having bought loads of lentils, rice, pasta, fruit, veg, chicken, etc none of your fussy eaters will accept it. It's so annoying and would your friend care to help you use it up, as you don't want to waste it. Of course you have no space in your freezer for the chicken or veg, you forgot it was full, Doh!

I'm sure others will have a few sly ideas.

My friend was in a serious (but toxic) relationship with a big ass banker. It was her first job after university and she had no money. He paid for everything on dates, they moved in together. But then she list her job and literally had no money. Her parents had passed away and we were all in first jobs too so not rolling in it.

She would never ask him but couldn't even afford a couple pounds on her oyster card to meet us for lunch or meet him after work etc

She stopped coming out with us too and was living off him out of necessity even though he ended up being an ass (slept with our best friend) but she stayed longer so she would not be homeless.............one night when ge had our best friend over at his flat he even told get go stay at the holiday inn and I will pay for it in the morning...she couldn't afford that. And stayed in the porch of a townhouse and then Cromwell gardens before I could come to get her :(

In a fight he broke her glasses and she is blind without them and could not afford lenses and he told her to choose done and he will buy them....he never gave the money and Im sure that must have a cost a few hundred as he sent her to his private opticians in Kensington

Hi solo

He is 3. Another kind mnetter has offered shoes so at least he won't be wearing his bright blue McQueen boots :)

Adorabell - those are good ideas.

A neighbour once told my mum that her Big chest freezer was broken so could she make use of this huge bag of food as she was cooking so much already and they'd never get through it.

When my mum asked her husband a week later he looked very confused as they didn't have a chest freezer....so if you use this one, make sure you clue you DH in too!

Charlie, I have pm-ed you.

Great ideas, thank you very much. Will try them out at earliest opportunity.

I'm also in awe at the strength demonstrated by so many people on this thread in the face of utter cruelty.

Charlie - I have two boys wedding outfits which you're more than welcome to if they would fit. One is aged 18-24 months, the other 3-4 years. You can see photos on my profile if you want to take a look - my boys wore them to my wedding to their dad last Summer. PM me if you'd like them (I'm on my mobile and can't work out how to initiate a PM conversation, but can reply to a PM received).

scentednappyhag and charlieuniformnovendertango

Just picking up on the things you've said, I'm really not trying to criticise, I really do understand that cheap food is usually the the most unhealthy. Also, having moved abroad many years ago I am aware that I am hopelessly out of date with UK prices.

That said, could you afford to buy brown rice? That fills the stomach more than most things and gives sustained energy. It takes flavours well, so a stock cube helps but the rice also has a good flavour of it's own. Adding lentils provides protein, so even if you can't get fresh veg and meat to make a full meal you are more than halfway there just with the rice and lentils.

I really am trying to help, not offend. Feel free to tell me to bugger off if I've over-stepped the mark.

Adorabell - it's ok, I'm not offended. I know my weight is mostly down to bad choices but I could eat a bit better even on a budget :)

Thanks for the tips :)

Glad I didn't offend, it can be awkward in print.

colleague commented on how I needed to do my hair. This is the woman who wants for nothing and is so insensitive it's untrue. I cried stupidly for about an hour. Did she really think I wanted to go around looking like that ffs.

Cheers for the advice Adora- but the person was just being a cow, I was a size 8 at the time

I have a friend who works for fun, loathes her husband but is still marries for money reasons and cheats on him/treats him like a slave. On the worst time of my life when the only shop I dared to enter was poundland, she would constantly criticise my clothes, appearance and even my daughter's clothes (she was a toddler at that time and not aware of pretty shoes and dresses so it didn't matter). She would criticise my hair, skin, nails, rented flat, furniture and even my husband who is the most hard working man I know of but is just in a low paid career. After much pain I just came to realize that she was probably jealous I was a size 8 no matter how much I eat and she always struggled with her weight. I was fortunate to have a real relationship and a child while she was married for money and even her lovers didn't take her seriously. And least but not last she was envy that I had more brains and could do things for myself while her husband was even doing her UNI assignments.

I have a friend who works for fun, loathes her husband but is still marries for money reasons and cheats on him/treats him like a slave. On the worst time of my life when the only shop I dared to enter was poundland, she would constantly criticise my clothes, appearance and even my daughter's clothes (she was a toddler at that time and not aware of pretty shoes and dresses so it didn't matter). She would criticise my hair, skin, nails, rented flat, furniture and even my husband who is the most hard working man I know of but is just in a low paid career. After much pain I just came to realize that she was probably jealous I was a size 8 no matter how much I eat and she always struggled with her weight. I was fortunate to have a real relationship and a child while she was married for money and even her lovers didn't take her seriously. And least but not last she was envy that I had more brains and could do things for myself while her husband was even doing her UNI assignments.

Now I hope my friend won't be thinking I was mean to her. Listen to this story: she has a child and now is pregnant, will have to stop working because she has very bad pregnancies (works as cleaner and do the odd babysitting)and her husband is on a very low wages. They have to save money to renew their visas. She came to my house asking for me to look on EBay for these fancy maternity tights she saw at a house of one of her cleaning jobs. The tights are from US and you can't buy in the UK and they cost nearly £25. I advised her to buy normal maternity tights or perhaps ask her employer to give hers to her as she wouldn't need anymore and the woman was clearly very rich. She said she was too proud to ask (which is ok) but she had to buy one because any other would do. I than bought it with my paypal and she said she would pay me back once the tights arrived. Which she did. What she doenst know is that I had to pay an extra £18 to Royal Mail because the product came from the US. I never told her that and never will but sometimes I do wonder if I shouldn't accept her money and give it as a gift or if she was expecting me to??

The lock broke on the bathroom door of my rented flat while I was in there with my DD. We were trapped. Nobody heard us call for help. I was a single parent and could have been in there all week (it was before mobiles). Luckily a friend who happened to have a spare key popped around totally out of the blue that evening to drop off a something as a surprise, and realised we were trapped, taking the door apart and releasing us.

It was a 10-year-old flat. We had only been renting it a few weeks, and cared for the flat extremely well.

The landlady charged me a lot of money to put a new lock in.

Bitchface.

OMG how long did you stay there?
Your frien was a God send!

A couple of hours!

We were bloody lucky ... although we did have access to fresh water and a loo, so I would have given us 6 weeks!

My DPs sister and her partner often told us how poor they were despite the fact he earns, or rather puts through the books, what me and dp earn jointly and she earns £200-300 per week cash in hand. When dp lost his job bil offered to help us out by giving him some work. DP took a low paid day job and then spent every evening, often til 11pm, working with his BIL. That was 5 years ago- he never paid him a penny. At one point they were doing a job for someone else, BIL kept both of their wage.

A very complicated situation but they have just done it to us again. They are supposed to pay rent to dp each month to cover bills he has coming out of his account that cover his mums debt. They now live in his mums house. They have said they can't pay- money has gone from DPs account and we have NO money this month to feed our family. They claim they have no money either but are going away for the weekend.

I'm so angry, stressed, annoyed....

sorry, I just had to rant

Jerin, you need to sit them down to discuss this very frankly, if you want to avoid a family feud.

My dad fell out with his brother, because he thought he had used some money for a holiday when it was supposed to be a contribution to their parents' funeral costs.

However the holiday had been paid for long before the funeral, so my father was mistaken. However there is no telling him, and the feud has gone on for nearly 30 years now.

You have to find out why they have done this, and ask them to put it right, as calmly as you possibly can, otherwise this will fester.

IMO.

BRITISH GAS sent a final demand for £25 unpaid for a gas bill to the student house I had been living in, instead of to my new address as I had asked them to. Obviously as it was a final bill, I had moved out and had no way of knowing it was there. I had paid my share of the gas bill and my feckless housemate had paid his, only the cheque had bounced. BRITISH GAS then finally realised they had my other address and started harrassing me for the £25, only by then my former housemate had moved on and I had no way of getting the money from him. I explained all of this, and that I had no money, but they insisted I pay or they would file a CCJ...so I paid (and went over my overdraft limit, and was charged).

Dear BRITISH GAS, that was 16 years ago and you are always trying to get me to buy my gas from you - but I never will, because of how you treated me. That's probably 60 years of my gas custom you have lost, you cheap incompetent mean feckers.

Thanks QueenBoff but these incidents are not the only ones...... There are a few (worth several hundred, maybe thousands of £s) from before I met DP and a similar one between them and the other sister worth several hundred. There really is no confusion on our parts. SIL looked me in the eye when I was pregnant with ds and we were struggling to pay bills with my DP working all hours and promised we'd have the money before he was born. He'll be 5 at the end of the year.

I'm sorry but a fiver, a tenner might slip a busy mind but £900?? Other amounts in the 100's? No.

Last year she asked me to order her some bits for her wedding, I did she paid me back. Then asked me to order more, I did. Then after the wedding she came round pleading poverty, they had over spent on the wedding and just couldn't afford to pay me back......she'd been off work sick ( her cash in hand, never pays a penny in tax or ni job) ........ They had 3 mouths to feed. I know she expected me to just say 'ah keep it' ( on top of the money we gave you for a wedding present, that to this day you've never had the courtesy to say thank you for) but I sternly pointed out that i too had been off work sick ( I earn about the same as her, often less after I've paid my tax and ni) and I have 6 mouths to feed. Plus it was her wedding, her budget!! Sorry- ranting again!!

More recently they asked a good family friend to do some work on their house and he refused because they still owe him several hundred from years ago..... How on earth do they sleep at night??

Sorry should probably be on another thread.....

I wouldn't say it's cruel, but it irks me every time.

We have a nearly 2 year old and have been saving really hard to try and buy a bigger flat (we're in a small one bed, and she's going to outgrow her cot sometime, which means we will have no room for a bed). However, we need to start all over again because a) our flat (our first) has crashed in value since we bought it and has almost no equity, b) our mortgage lender is not allowed to lend any more, so when we move we have to remortgage entirely which means c) we're going to be moving to much higher interest rates and will cost us hundred more, just to borrow what we already do, never mind the extra for another room. Things are already tight.

Anyway, my parents have a time share abroad. they are always asking when we are going to be going with them (the rest of the family have all been several times). No matter how many times we've said that we can't afford a holiday, because you know, we need a bigger roof over our heads, we get "Oh, but I saw a really cute suitcase, you know the ones that they can ride on, I want to get it for babyborrower", or "Oh, I can't wait until we can take babyborrower to Disneyworld, why don't we go next year" or "When are you going to come with us on holiday? You'll have to pay for babyborrower's seat soon" etc etc.

They're not being cruel, but just don't understand! Please don't ask me again, borrowerparents - we can't afford a holiday - EVER!