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Original poster

When you've been skint, what was the cruellest thing anyone did to you?

121 replies

corygal · 22/05/2012 21:12

Cos writing it down might help you banish it. Here's mine - and no, I'm not going to start with an apology.

When I left college, in debt and rather ill, I flat shared with friends. Kindly parents bailed us with cardboard boxes of edibles - we loved them more than Harrods hampers, even tho I bet Harrods don't include Tesco beans and Maxwell House chicory. Aware my own parents hadn't helped, I timidly asked Mum if she had anything spare I could carry back as loot to the girls.

She gave me one cooked sausage. Then announced she'd bought my brother a car. When I got home I realised the mash on the sausage was mould.

OP posts:
scentednappyhag · 24/05/2012 18:23

A 'friend' asked how, if I was so skint, how did I still manage to be fat?
Lovely Hmm

JoannaFight · 24/05/2012 18:32

God I thought people would be posting mildly irritating things said to them; some of these stories are appalling ShockSad

Mil has an annoying habit of going on lovely holidays and ringing us up at great expense from them to tell us how much we'd enjoy it Hmm

ToryLovell · 24/05/2012 18:42

When DH was student and DD a newborn and I was on mat leave, DH did some work for a friend on their new house while they went skiing. Cos he got a trade discount DH said he would buy all the stuff (to get the discount for his friends) and then the friends would pay us back along with paying him for the work (mates rates).

£800 (new boiler) that we paid out. Never saw a penny of it and had to take out a loan tand then I had to go back to work early from mat leave in order to pay it back. They both owned their own businesses and were loaded. Bastards.

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney · 24/05/2012 18:53

Tory, could you not have told them you would take it to small claims court?

Very Sad at these appalling stories. ESP about parents being so unfair to their own kids.

bringmesunshine2009 · 26/05/2012 23:32

Happy days! Purse was in my postbox today, nectar points are only valuable to me it seems Grin yay!

scentednappyhag · 27/05/2012 06:38

Yay Sunshine, chuffed you got it back Smile

Holidaymaker · 27/05/2012 07:18

We were having a family get together. Me ds, dgp( who brought me and siblings up). I was lp and very broke, everyone else was loaded. Sil collected ds from nursery with her three children. Except she didn't. He was crawling with nits that he had caught that day. She left him there because she didn't want hers to catch it from him.

While we were discussing this, DGD got out three ten pound notes to give to dn's. I asked for money to get some hedrin and dsil went upstairs and fetched an old and dirty nit comb with dead nits clinging to it. She then said, "don't bring him here." No one would help and I walked two miles to collect a sobbing three year old and than took him to gp, another three miles to get a prescription for hedrin.

Ds was hysterical by this time and I got home to a message on answer phone from sil telling me not to bring him round " nits are so hard to get out of long hair"

Convert · 27/05/2012 07:33

These stories are heartbreaking. People are so fucking cruel.

Good news sunshine!

Sunnywithachanceofshowers · 27/05/2012 14:24

My mum lives in Spain and was mugged - the bastard took her handbag and all her money, which was all she had, about 150 euros. She was obviously very upset, as well as slightly injured (moped mugging).

A few days later she came down to find an envelope in her post box, containing over 150 euros. It just said 'from friends'. All of her friends denied giving the money, it's such a lovely thing to do.

Iggly · 27/05/2012 14:38

Solo I'm incredibly incredibly proud too to the extent I'd rather borrow money than ask for help. But in your situation, I would have asked. You could have done something to get help? I don't see your FIL as being cruel as such.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 27/05/2012 19:34

As a student, my parents disapproved of my boyfriend and cut off all funding. This was in the days before student loans so I worked two jobs, all the holidays, studied the rest of the time, got the degree and emerged solvent. In my final year, my idiot DB went on a road trip with a friend and was arrested and charged with some pretty serious motoring offences. My parents paid his substantial fines because 'it wasn't his fault' and I've never really forgiven them for the double standards. :)

Solo · 28/05/2012 00:29

Iggly it was my Dd's father, not a FIL and I think it's how the individual feels or is made to feel which makes it cruel IMO.

My Darling Dad and Mum brought me a cheque for £400 the day before Dd was born to 'go towards your boiler.' Mum and Dad had/have nothing (Dad passed away now), so this was a big deal for them and sadly it didn't go far in buying a boiler, but Dd's father wouldn't have noticed the £1500 as he had plenty... Mum and Dad gave it to me ~ put it in my hand, Exp should've and could've just given it to me...there's the difference. He didn't want to, they desperately wanted to.

hiveofbees · 28/05/2012 00:35

Solo - you wouldnt have been asking - he had offered. Did he not plan on settling up with his friend directly?

marathonrunner · 28/05/2012 07:32

holidaymaker your poor little boy. I don't think i could bear to speak to someone as cruel as that again.

marathonrunner · 28/05/2012 07:33

Didn't mean to delete your name!!

Iggly · 28/05/2012 08:19

I read this : 'you decide what you want to do and I'll pay for it' as him offering and all that was needed was for you to say I need x? So you didn't have to ask, just say what you needed?

Coconutty · 28/05/2012 08:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Follyfoot · 28/05/2012 08:36

Lost our home and most contents in arson attack (XH). Friends and even complete strangers were astonishingly generous, with gifts ranging from somewhere to live rent free, bed sheets, clothes for myself and DD, to money, the list is way too long to write here. My Mum gave us a second hand set of cutlery that was about 20 years old Sad

Solo · 28/05/2012 09:56

I guess you'd really have to have been there/know him to understand.

nixnjj · 28/05/2012 22:53

Was asked to leave home at 14 due to my mum's boyfriend only being 3 years older than me and it was "difficult for him". Thankfully some lovely bikers took pity on me and took me in, went to see her as I hadn't eaten for a few days and the dog food was beginning to look appealing, she asked me where I was living and by chance the place had been raided by the drug squad, whilst I was a school and was on the front page of the local free paper. I told her and got the reply that they were obviously business people and they should be able to feed me.

Unfortunately she's no better as a grandmother .

GoingToThePark · 29/05/2012 06:26

When DP and I wanted to move out into our own place, DP's mum and dad generously paid us a 500 pound deposit and 500 pounds rent up front. So a grand basically.

I rang my mum to tell her I would be moving out (had only lived back with her and stepdad for four months between relationships, I had originally left home at 16 and been homeless for a while before living in council flat with ex) and that new DP's parents had helped us find a nice flat. I gave her the address.

She was there within the hour with my clothes bagged up, my hamster in its cage. She couldn't wait. Then, she turned round and said she had sorted me a few household items out. A melted plastic colander and some old tea towels Confused

DP's mum was stood right there. I felt so very ashamed.

Then when I got pregnant with my first daughter, DP's mum couldn't bear to think of us sitting on the grotty old sofa that was in our flat when we moved in. They let us choose a new three piece suite and paid for it. My mum took the piss cos it was very beige.

My parents in law are only on one income and have struggled all their lives, my parents have a fuck off massive house and lots of foreign holidays. Well, my mum is no longer with us. But it was so unfair of them to contribute nothing at all to my start in life.

My DP also had a classic car him and his dad built together. My mum found out about this and immediately started making comments that he ought to sell it to find us a deposit for a house! I told her in no uncertain terms that it was his car to do what he liked with and to butt out!

magicmarker · 29/05/2012 07:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CharlieUniformNovemberTango · 29/05/2012 07:19

scentednappybag I've had that said about me too!
It's cheaper to eat crap then it is healthy food. When you can buy 4 packs of biscuits for a £1 and live off those all day versus the cost of fruit and veg and lean meat it's very easy to put on weight!

The worst thing for me is family just not understanding. I'm on the verge of being homeless (eviction order due any day now) being invited to expensive hen parties is bad. Being told the bridesmaid dress you have to wear will cost £120 plus shoes, underwear (see above eating habit shame to explain the need for spanx style), suit for DS, shoes and hair stuff for DD is just frustrating. They know I have no money. I'm tryin to save for the van to move and SIL just told me she probably can't help by driving the rental van if my eviction comes the week of her wedding. I understand she is busy but one afternoon?

I just wish they would all be less selfish and understand.

And solo I would hugely struggle in that situation too. I cannot ask for help at all. I just can't. My dad knows this. He watches me struggle through things and at the very end will say 'you only had to ask...' he KNOWS I never can ask.

CinnabarRed · 29/05/2012 10:12

I'm in the very fortunate position of being comfortably off, but many of my friends aren't, and my brother is having difficulties financially. Please may I ask those of you on this thread for suggestions about how I can help/give treats without being patronising or insensitive. Not so much with DB because he's family and very happy to accept cash transfers into his bank account Smile but I'm never sure how to act around friends. I try to be thoughtful when meeting up - meeting at home rather than out, buying takeaway dinner and pretending it was on special so that their share was effectively free and not to quibble over a couple of quid, but what else can I do?

CinnabarRed · 29/05/2012 10:13

I'm in the very fortunate position of being comfortably off, but many of my friends aren't, and my brother is having difficulties financially. Please may I ask those of you on this thread for suggestions about how I can help/give treats without being patronising or insensitive. Not so much with DB because he's family and very happy to accept cash transfers into his bank account Smile but I'm never sure how to act around friends. I try to be thoughtful when meeting up - meeting at home rather than out, buying takeaway dinner and pretending it was on special so that their share was effectively free and not to quibble over a couple of quid, but what else can I do?