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Original poster

Are people still shielding?

96 replies

ApolloandDaphne · 18/02/2023 08:25

Or still being extra cautious about going out?

I ask because I have a friend who still is (for a number of health related reasons) and I wondered if others were still doing this?

I'm seeing her next week ( I have to test before I'm allowed near her) and I wanted to get a feel for whether it's time to start persuading her to get out a little bit more. I am concerned the solitude has affected her mental health and sense of proportion regarding Covid.

OP posts:
Rebellious23 · 18/02/2023 11:45

Yes and no
I socialised at Christmas after the "it's just a cold/covid is over" got to me. 2.5hrs and I caught covid
That meant 18 days off work, messing about to get antivirals, feeling shit and restarting exercise as I lost my fitness. Oh and wages lost as off work

I'm going to the supermarket with an FFP2 mask, and outside stuff but that's it. I can't face being ill, losing wages and spending hours on the phone again

I know people say oh well it's no life but realistically I don't see anyone m-f anyway! I work, exercise, eat, shower, clean and then it's 9pm

Severely neutropenic and will be for life

Ihavedogs · 18/02/2023 11:45

I think it is really difficult for some to achieve a balance between shielding and living the sort of life that they did pre covid. Each person is an individual and there are huge variations with the health conditions which lead to people being CEV. For some, they may be able to meet up with people under certain circumstances and with precautions, others may be able to do more, some will have even fuller outside lives. Sadly for others, their risk is so great, that they have to continue shielding.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 18/02/2023 11:47

And those who shield has as much right to life as the rest of the population.

The judgement here is phenomenal. It's as if choosing to remain isolated is hurting other people.

Rebellious23 · 18/02/2023 11:47

@JupiterFortified cross posted

I don't need counselling, my body acts as though I'm on chemo and destroys my neutrophils so that's it for life

I don't want
Nearly 3 weeks off work
Loss of pay
Feeling shit
Ringing 111 for antivirals (which took hours of messing about last time)
Who knows what damage repeatedly catching covid will cause

Like I said, I don't socialise anyway in the week as I've no time so it's not a big loss, I can't afford a holiday/cinema/theatre etc either

Quarantino · 18/02/2023 12:16

The thing is, of the people that sensibly went about their lives, the ones that Covid killed aren't here to provide their side of the story. It's like the people that argue not wearing seatbelts never harmed them.

My friend died in the first wave - the effects of their death are still being felt today. No other health issues. Same story for thousands of others.

Obviously the picture is different today but it's not eradicated, nor completely mitigated by vaccines. It's a balancing act - one that people with serious health conditions will be used to struggling with under the radar.

Saying that kind of life is equivalent to death is really cruel tbh.

berksandbeyond · 18/02/2023 12:24

Rebellious23 · 18/02/2023 11:47

@JupiterFortified cross posted

I don't need counselling, my body acts as though I'm on chemo and destroys my neutrophils so that's it for life

I don't want
Nearly 3 weeks off work
Loss of pay
Feeling shit
Ringing 111 for antivirals (which took hours of messing about last time)
Who knows what damage repeatedly catching covid will cause

Like I said, I don't socialise anyway in the week as I've no time so it's not a big loss, I can't afford a holiday/cinema/theatre etc either

you say it’s no big loss but you’re saying you’ll never

go to the theatre, cinema, a wedding, a birthday party, a bbq with friends, swimming, to a restaurant, on an airplane, train or bus.. ever again?

Dammitthisisshit · 18/02/2023 12:26

Mariposista · 18/02/2023 10:57

What are shielders trying to achieve? To stay alive? But do they actually want a life like that for the rest of their days? Woh no friends, family, broken relationships with everyone you know, no hobbies, activities - literally you and the four walls of your house. I’d choose death over that any day.

Oh come on read the room.
Yes I’m trying to stay alive. I’d love to see my children reach double figures in age. But it’s unlikely.
Do I want a life like that? Ummm I’d rather be healthy but I don’t have the privilege of that choice.
No friends? My friends are the people that are willing to meet me for walks, for outside picnics. Who flow test without me even having to ask. People that would only be willing to meet me in a crowded pub are not my friends.
Literally me and the 4 walls of my house? No it’s not. But I avoid crowded indoor places, and mask up. It is limiting. But if I catch an infection then I’ll probably be back to an airlocked isolation room in a hospital ward for another week to 10 days for IV antibiotics. It’s not much fun. Taking precautions reduces the risk of me landing back there. I have children so can’t isolate properly but I can, and do, reduce any extra/optional risk.

I don’t get the hundreds of threads on this. Germ vulnerable people have always been told to isolate to some extent. A lovely lady used to help me when my DC were very young but as her MIL was going through chemo I’d warn her when we had a bug going round and she’d sometimes not see us depending if she was going to see her MIL/stage of chemo she was at. This was pre-Covid. It’s just common sense.

Rebellious23 · 18/02/2023 12:44

@berksandbeyond but the thing is, it doesn't affect anyone else. It's MY choice

go to the theatre didn't before
cinema didn't before
a wedding not been to one for years
a birthday party not been to one for years
a bbq with friends yes would stay outside
swimming not been for years but hoping to do some outdoor swimming this summer
to a restaurant didnt before (can't afford)
on an airplane, train or bus didn't before, not flown for 25 years, I drive so never use the train or bus

It's not stopping my life, it's just a different life

But really I don't have time to be at the cinema, restaurants etc in the week which leaves weekends. When the weather is warmer I plan to do more outside so eating outside, swimming etc

Rebellious23 · 18/02/2023 12:45

I don't get it

If I said I'm on chemo, people would go oh yes well, whilst you're on chemo then shield

I'm neutropenic FOR LIFE. Which means I'm similar as if I was on chemo. But people go oh well you don't need to shield ConfusedConfused

LolaSmiles · 18/02/2023 12:46

I know people who aren't shielding as in the height of the pandemic, but they're still taking precautions and would rather not attend crowded places. It makes sense for them.

Merchantadventurer · 18/02/2023 13:02

I am having chemo and will be on treatment for the rest of my (very limited) life. I am not shielding now as I have kids and friends AB’s want to have some enjoyment from what is left. Also to be honest if I died from covid as opposed to a horrible end with cancer I don’t really care!

PastMyBestBeforeDate · 18/02/2023 13:21

Not shielding but being very careful because I'm immunosuppressed.

Nimbostratus100 · 18/02/2023 13:56

berksandbeyond · 18/02/2023 12:24

you say it’s no big loss but you’re saying you’ll never

go to the theatre, cinema, a wedding, a birthday party, a bbq with friends, swimming, to a restaurant, on an airplane, train or bus.. ever again?

Show quote history

Dont you realise that many people lived like that anyway, even before covid?

Nimbostratus100 · 18/02/2023 13:58

long before covid I had a relative who had to live in a sterile bubble for years, far beyond "normal" shielding. Once he was out of the bubble, he was still what we would today call "shielding" for the rest of his life - he considered that to be an amazing amount of freedom

Mariposista · 18/02/2023 14:08

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YetAnotherSpartacus · 18/02/2023 14:12

How do you explain to little children that granny and grandad don't want to see them and give them hugs and kisses. That you will never spend Christmas with your cousins again because aunt and uncle don't want to. Losing a friendship where you loved going for coffee, the gym, cinema, whatever together because they won't step out of their door. It hurts

how do you explain that granny has cacked it from Covid?

Quarantino · 18/02/2023 14:20

Am gobsmacked that some people come into threads with people with various serious health conditions to scold them that their trying to stay alive/healthy is hurting hypothetical other people. Can only assume they are here to goad.

I don't believe for a second that you think anyone is telling their grandkids they "don't want to see them". If a friend can't come to the cinema with me because of their condition, guess what? I don't chuck in that friendship. That friendship isn't "lost". Most people aren't "not stepping out their door". Have you not understood this? Or are you dishonestly pretending not to, so you can have a laugh trying to wind people up?

JarByTheDoor · 18/02/2023 14:22

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Mariposista · 18/02/2023 14:26

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Your knee jerk frustration proves my point perfectly. I hope you don't talk like that in front of your kids.

AutumnCrow · 18/02/2023 14:28

Mariposista · 18/02/2023 14:26

Your knee jerk frustration proves my point perfectly. I hope you don't talk like that in front of your kids.

Show quote history

Why? What's it got to do with you?

JarByTheDoor · 18/02/2023 14:29

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berksandbeyond · 18/02/2023 21:41

YetAnotherSpartacus · 18/02/2023 14:12

How do you explain to little children that granny and grandad don't want to see them and give them hugs and kisses. That you will never spend Christmas with your cousins again because aunt and uncle don't want to. Losing a friendship where you loved going for coffee, the gym, cinema, whatever together because they won't step out of their door. It hurts

how do you explain that granny has cacked it from Covid?

everyone has to die or something

Vallmo47 · 18/02/2023 21:55

Ffs, some of these replies are utterly vile. It is up to each individual to determine their risk and they’re not harming anyone by being cautious. I respect everyone’s stand on this disease and act accordingly. The end.
This isn’t aimed at you OP because you’ve been respectful. Clearly the topic still divides people but it’s shocking people can hear of others going through a fucking horrific time with their health and they stab that knife in just a little bit further. Disgusting!

Rebellious23 · 18/02/2023 22:27

Vallmo47 · 18/02/2023 21:55

Ffs, some of these replies are utterly vile. It is up to each individual to determine their risk and they’re not harming anyone by being cautious. I respect everyone’s stand on this disease and act accordingly. The end.
This isn’t aimed at you OP because you’ve been respectful. Clearly the topic still divides people but it’s shocking people can hear of others going through a fucking horrific time with their health and they stab that knife in just a little bit further. Disgusting!

That

I just don't want it again
Felt faint, breathless, really unwell, I had a random period that lasted for 18 days and the antivirals made my mouth taste awful. Yes I wasn't in hospital but what damage will it do if I catch it repeatedly
Plus I can't afford to lose my commission being off work sick. My condition is 1 in 1.5 million so it's not easy to judge what's going to happen

MeetPi · 19/02/2023 03:12

@YetAnotherSpartacus

How do you explain to little children that granny and grandad don't want to see them and give them hugs and kisses. That you will never spend Christmas with your cousins again because aunt and uncle don't want to. Losing a friendship where you loved going for coffee, the gym, cinema, whatever together because they won't step out of their door. It hurts

Yet another angle on 'the childrenz come first in everything' even if other peoples' health is compromised.

My ECV sibling almost died of Covid just two months ago. It isn't your place to judge him or others like him as you know nothing of their personal situation - nothing at all. You wouldn't know that he only has a year or so to live by looking at him, or that he doesn't have a immune system. He looks healthy enough and he still travels and works. But any infection sends him to hospital for weeks and Covid took some beating. If he wanted to shield more, would you judge him? Doing so might eke him out a few more months.

You just have no idea what other people's journeys are.