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Original poster

AIBU to be sick of people who think it's all back to normal?

794 replies

JanusTheFirst · 01/01/2023 09:16

Woke to the news that my cousin died early this morning of Covid. No underlying conditions and she was vaccinated. But she was elderly. She hardly ever went out but must have picked it up on a rare outing to the local shop.

People are still dying and we should still be looking out for those vulnerable to this awful disease. It isn't all back to normal. My cousin is dead and she wouldn't be but for Covid.

OP posts:
x2boys · 01/01/2023 11:30

LuckySantangelo35 · 01/01/2023 11:23

@IDontCareMatthew

yes you can
you can stay at home if ill rather than spread your germs to others

And not get paid or risk losing your job ?,as I have said several times ,my dh,currently has a virus ,he's not well ,but he's going
into work tomorrow, because otherwise he will lose his job ,yes of course he would rather not go.into work whilst feeling so unwell.but back in the real.world many people have no.choice

MarysGirlChildWasLate4ChristmasDay · 01/01/2023 11:32

JanusTheFirst · 01/01/2023 11:28

She was 73 and very fit and healthy apart from "slowing down a bit".

I am saddened that people just shrug their shoulders and say she was old anyway. As though her life matters less than anyone else's.

She had a lot more left to offer than many people decades younger. And her death was avoidable. That's why I'm cross.

And judging from the attitudes of some here it will only get worse for the elderly and vulnerable.

My friend was in her twenties and killed by COVID measures that you are so desperate to reinstate. Where's your empathy?

Maybe actually read the nuanced responses you are getting and realise that you are viewing this from a place of extreme privilege.

Hotsweatymomspagetti · 01/01/2023 11:33

Allsnotwell · 01/01/2023 09:25

I do agree with you. My friend had Covid last week and she refused to stay home, walked the dog, went to the shops etc - no consideration for those she might infect.
If you’re ill stay home.

I was hoping that Covid would change the sickness policies for businesses - clearly nothing changed and it should’ve done.

This infuriates me as someone who caught covid when early pregnant which sent my body into a spiral of severe HG (pregnancy sickness) and we had to make the heart breaking choice to terminate the wanted the pregnancy to save my life.

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 01/01/2023 11:33

Also re the statement that ‘lockdowns worked’ - it depends what you mean by ‘worked’. If you mean ‘less people got COVID’ then yes it did ‘work’ but if you look at the bigger picture, about what people sacrificed and lost that will be felt for years and years, did it ‘work’ in that we live in better times? IMO, no.

cookiesbeforepookies · 01/01/2023 11:33

JanusTheFirst · 01/01/2023 11:28

She was 73 and very fit and healthy apart from "slowing down a bit".

I am saddened that people just shrug their shoulders and say she was old anyway. As though her life matters less than anyone else's.

She had a lot more left to offer than many people decades younger. And her death was avoidable. That's why I'm cross.

And judging from the attitudes of some here it will only get worse for the elderly and vulnerable.

My mum is the same age (72) CEV and stilo semi-isolating. I only have the capacity to take care of her. It’s exhausting but I love her.

I don’t have the energy to think about other people and taking expensive tests to protect other people. That’s for their families to do.

Theluggage15 · 01/01/2023 11:34

So all those people like me) who have relatives who have died from illnesses like flu and other contagious diseases should go around blaming other people and stating their deaths were avoidable. Just ridiculous.

BellePeppa · 01/01/2023 11:34

JanusTheFirst · 01/01/2023 09:28

I expect people to test if they are ill and isolate themselves until they are clear. I blame those who do not test and spread it around without even wearing a mask.

I blame those who think they may have it but don't test and don't wear a mask to stop it spreading.

I expect people to care for the wider community but it seems it's too big and ask for some here.

Show quote history

Home tests are not that reliable though. Every home test I’ve taken has come up negative so I go about my business and yet it turned out I did have covid (hospital tested) but would never have known as the home test was negative.

You can’t have flu without symptoms (to my knowledge) but you can have covid.
I do think if you know you are positive then you should still shield away from others. I couldn’t mix with people knowing I had it.

HermioneWeasley · 01/01/2023 11:36

OP I am sorry for your loss. I lost a dear friend to Covid 19 a few minutes this ago so I understand your anger, but YABU. You said she rarely went out and she still caught it. Perhaps she caught it from someone asymptomatic who wouldn’t have been testing anyway. It isn’t reasonable to expect people to curtail their lives

Newmumatlast · 01/01/2023 11:36

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 01/01/2023 11:24

Also this needs to stop - blaming the everyday man for the shit show that is the NHS. Not, you know, the Tories for fucking it up completely.

Show quote history

To be fair it is possible to blame more than one thing or person or entity at the same time. The tories can be blamed of course. But so too can people who take the absolute piss I.e. booking appointments and missing them without good reason, going to the GP/hospital unnecessarily, abusing free prescriptions e.g. getting paracetamol which is far cheaper off the shelf than it costs the NHS for you to get free on prescription and affordable for most or getting repeat prescriptions unnecessarily, keeping ourselves fit and eating well to the extent we can afford to etc. We all should do what we can to help keep costs down for the NHS (I was offered aspirin on prescription when pregnant and said I would buy it, its so cheap. I was told well you can get it free on prescription and I said but why would I when the NHS will have to then pay more to the pharma companies for it than I would off shelf and I can easily afford the pence it costs. If I buy it, and others like me buy it, the NHS will have more £ for those who really can't afford it).

Personally I think we have a social responsibility not to take more than we need and that is something that exists as well as the reality that our government is shite.

OhChristmasTreeOhChristmasTreeFaLaLa · 01/01/2023 11:38

JanusTheFirst · 01/01/2023 11:28

She was 73 and very fit and healthy apart from "slowing down a bit".

I am saddened that people just shrug their shoulders and say she was old anyway. As though her life matters less than anyone else's.

She had a lot more left to offer than many people decades younger. And her death was avoidable. That's why I'm cross.

And judging from the attitudes of some here it will only get worse for the elderly and vulnerable.

73 is not elderly today, my mum just retired from nursing at 69, her friend is still working (as a nurse) at 79. Elderly is not 73, I thought you were talking about a 90 year old (I'm not saying it wouldn't matter if your rele was 90, just your description of elderly isn't quite right).

MassiveSalad22 · 01/01/2023 11:38

Sorry for your loss but that IS normal. Elderly people die from all viruses.

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 01/01/2023 11:39

OhChristmasTreeOhChristmasTreeFaLaLa · 01/01/2023 11:38

73 is not elderly today, my mum just retired from nursing at 69, her friend is still working (as a nurse) at 79. Elderly is not 73, I thought you were talking about a 90 year old (I'm not saying it wouldn't matter if your rele was 90, just your description of elderly isn't quite right).

Show quote history

Generally in clinical terms over 65 is considered elderly IIRC

Rose5678 · 01/01/2023 11:40

Was she vaccinated?

MassiveSalad22 · 01/01/2023 11:43

Rose5678 · 01/01/2023 11:40

Was she vaccinated?

It says so in the OP.

mincepiesandi · 01/01/2023 11:43

I'm with you OP. The pandemic is not over yet and staying home when sick or wearing a mask when out and about should be the bare minimum courtesy in society. "Learning to live with it" doesn't mean pretending it doesn't exist. However I can see we're in the minority. It feels pretty depressing!

whenthedreamhappens · 01/01/2023 11:46

Sorry for your loss OP. I hope you're ok?!

I do agree that a lot of people do suspect they have it but deliberately don't test but with money being tight for so many I really don't think people can afford time off unpaid but I do agree they should mask up and maybe avoid unnecessary trips out. It's difficult to navigate because we do have to live with this and hope that our immunity grows x

Pelo22 · 01/01/2023 11:48

LivelyBlake · 01/01/2023 11:16

Wouldn’t it be easier if the vulnerable protected themselves against airborne viruses?

Wearing Fp2 masks, social distancing, ventilating, doing their shopping online, meeting people outdoors etc

That's what I was doing and managed ok. Everyone was saying I was being over cautious and it was just a cold
Socialised Christmas Day for the first time for 2hrs or so and now I have covid

Honestly I'm going back to not socialising indoors because I can't face feeling this unwell, the chasing anti virals and the time off work

Very much everyone else can do what they like now but if people could stop telling me it's just a cold and that I'm being ridiculous and need to get back to normal...

sst1234 · 01/01/2023 11:48

TwilightSkies · 01/01/2023 09:37

Most people don’t care about the wider community unfortunately. Every Covid thread there’s people saying we need to ‘crack on’ and act as though Covid doesn’t exist.
As for people saying you need to catch Covid/flu to build immunity……..that’s not how it works. Covid damages the immune system, a hard pill to swallow.

Do you what would be an easier pill to swallow? Some anxiety medication. People obsessing over Covid should get some.

Marynotsocontrary · 01/01/2023 11:49

x2boys · 01/01/2023 11:30

And not get paid or risk losing your job ?,as I have said several times ,my dh,currently has a virus ,he's not well ,but he's going
into work tomorrow, because otherwise he will lose his job ,yes of course he would rather not go.into work whilst feeling so unwell.but back in the real.world many people have no.choice

Show quote history

People understand when people must work to support their family, or if they can't afford the tests. They really do.
Lots of people are not in this situation and still don't test or otherwise take care though. They send sick children to school even when they're home themselves because it's easier (for them of course - not for the child, teacher or the soon-to-be-ill classmates and their parents!). They want to go to a party so ignore the fact they're feeling a bit off etc etc. Unfortunately, people can be thoughtless and selfish without good reason.

Fifi00 · 01/01/2023 11:49

I'm sorry for your loss OP in the gentlest of ways, we all die one day none of us are immortal and your relative made it to old age. Someone I knew fell outside and sustained a hip fracture , they sadly died. When you get old you can die from something as simple as a UTI, pneumonia even a cold. Your body struggles to repair and fight things off as well. I don't think people can expect everyone to lock down for eternity, life needs to be worth living.

Choconut · 01/01/2023 11:49

It's a terrible loss for you and an awful disease - my grandad caught it in hospital and died from it - but we have to somehow live with it because what else can we do? I'm certainly not against wearing masks in crowded places (and still do on planes) but even when it was the law people still wore them under their noses or under their chins so it was pretty pointless generally. Unfortunately people are selfish and think their rights trump everyone else so there's not much anyone can do.

zingally · 01/01/2023 11:51

Sorry for your loss OP.

Covid is still very much rampant. I know quite a lot of people who have had it in the past month.
An elderly couple I'm friendly with, who live nearby have had it over Christmas. He actually spent 2 nights in hospital because of it, but recovered quickly. She is still suffering badly.

sst1234 · 01/01/2023 11:51

The Covid zealots love a bit of confirmation bias when someonedies of Covid. Never mind the 1000 execess deaths a week because of Covid but not from the disease itself. Let’s not worry about those people, let’s all just obsess about Covid to make these people feel better.

Cuppasoupmonster · 01/01/2023 11:52

Unfortunately people are selfish and think their rights trump everyone else so there's not much anyone can do.

Like people who think everyone should restrict their lives, bankrupt the country and be prevented from leaving their homes to protect them 🤷🏼‍♀️

Twiglets1 · 01/01/2023 11:52

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 01/01/2023 11:33

Also re the statement that ‘lockdowns worked’ - it depends what you mean by ‘worked’. If you mean ‘less people got COVID’ then yes it did ‘work’ but if you look at the bigger picture, about what people sacrificed and lost that will be felt for years and years, did it ‘work’ in that we live in better times? IMO, no.

I feel like Swedens policy “worked” better in that people were given guidance to be careful and considerate but lockdown for months was not imposed. They have fewer financial problems now and fewer vulnerable people (youngsters as well as elderly) feeling the effects of isolation.
It’s not all about Covid deaths in the elderly, young people have to be protected too and their mental health is important as is the state of the economy.