AIBU to be sick of people who think it's all back to normal?

[JanusTheFirst]

Woke to the news that my cousin died early this morning of Covid. No underlying conditions and she was vaccinated. But she was elderly. She hardly ever went out but must have picked it up on a rare outing to the local shop.

People are still dying and we should still be looking out for those vulnerable to this awful disease. It isn't all back to normal. My cousin is dead and she wouldn't be but for Covid.

That isn't true. You can have flu asymptomatically or mildly, just like covid.

She had a lot more left to offer than many people decades younger.

How/why? Are you trying to imply she was somehow worth more than other people?

Yes, sick of the flu equals bedridden myth continously being spread!

Yes, I'm sick of it. It's like people think there's no middle ground between cowering at home and actively choosing to put yourself in risky situations. My family want to have a birthday lunch for my grandmother in a pub - why risk that? Why risk being around dozens of strangers when we could have a birthday lunch hosted at someone's house, where at least everyone attending can take a covid test beforehand and we can control the ventilation (opening windows regularly etc.) It's just not sensible for elderly people to be socialising in pubs at the height of the winter bug season with covid, the flu and other nasty viruses going around.

It's like people just have no common sense at all. We're still in a pandemic. The WHO hasn't announced the end of the pandemic, because it's far from over. I have to admit even my worst nightmares, I didn't think this would still be going in 2023, but here we are. It's not going away just because we're sick of it now.

You're much more likely to die of Covid than flu.

Did she have all her booster jabs? I've had 4 jabs in total (age) and OH who is ECV has had all 5 offered. We had covid pretty bad for 2 weeks mid December but have come through it. We're glad we had all the boosters. If we'd stopped at the first 2, I doubt we'd be here.

Who are you to tell elderly people what’s sensible? My 89 year old father loves going to pubs and restaurants, he gets great enjoyment from it. He’s not going to spend the last years of his life at home with his windows open in the winter. He had enough of that shit in lockdowns.

Agree re boosters? Covid jab does not confer never ending immunity. The boosters are essential for older people.

@ILoveeCakes i agree. My mum died last year at the age of 70, of cancer. Of course it was sad but I rationally knew that seventy was old (though not ancient) and the fact that the average age of death is 80 something does not mean that 80+ is a target or something everyone is entitled to. That’s not how averages work after all.

I think part of the issue is that for people we’ve known all our lives, and that we love, it can be hard to see them and their health objectively. So someone might view their 75 year old parent as not elderly, as healthy, living a full life etc. But the harsh reality is that for the average 75 year old a cancer diagnosis, a bout of pneumonia, or whatever, may well prove fatal. And we have to accept that.

Have you asked your grandmother what she wants to do? Maybe she wants to go to the pub and be around others. Nanny state or what.

What a fantastic reply - I so agree.

@Remmy123 Fortunate they don’t die of lack of empathy, or you’d really be in trouble.

@JanusTheFirst OP, I’m sorry about your cousin. I can only imagine that the loss itself hurts and then it hurts again every time you hear someone say COVID is “over,” when you’ve just lost someone to it. I think other posters are bringing up some valid points, that people who are having trouble affording food and heating l be less necessary if most people who felt ill just stayed home until they didn’t feel ill, but again, people can’t always do this even if they want to, because they may have to work to get 100% pay.

When people say things are back to normal, what they really mean is that there’s no longer any help from the government that would allow people to test or isolate or stay home without losing pay. It’s a shame.

I personally think we get nowhere blaming each other. The blame falls solely on the government, which gave up helping and is pushing this “COVID is over” narrative. They’re doing absolutely zero to help anyone with long COVID, as well. They deserve your anger and your ire. We should ALL be angry at them.

I do hope your son improves from his bout with long COVID, that your cousin finds contentment wherever she is, and that you’re able to find some peace about it all.

Stay home if you are sick, or might be sick. And spend £XXX on tests every time you think you might have been in contact with someone infected.

Of course - everyone should do that ...... Then.....

• My boiler has broke and they won't send an engineer for three weeks - this is outrageous!
• My Tesco delivery has been cancelled twice because they say they're short staffed and have no delivery drivers. I'm running out of basics.
• My car is out of MOT on Friday and I cannot get an MOT appointment anywhere! What am I supposed to do???
• I cannot get a GP appointment - they say they're two doctors down as two are isolating - and the practice nurse is also off. The NHS is broken.
• My kids have had to be taught in combined classes by a TA three times this week because half the teachers are off sick. AIBU to think the school should do something?
• I cannot get a plumber to fix my shower for love nor money.

While people think everybody else should isolate and absorb the costs and inconvenience they usually make a huge fuss if it impacts on their own convenience. I cannot see how the connection isn't made. We do seem to have lost the ability to see the bigger picture.

COVID is horrible - but so are lots of things. We know how to treat it now and we have vaccinations to protect the bulk of the population. You're still more likely to die from other causes.

I am so sorry OP for your loss. You are clearly grieving - and that's tough. Your poor Aunt - it is sad - and I'm in no way dismissing that.

But we need people to work. We also cannot ask people to lose everything, (I lost my business completely during lockdown and the subsequent fear of human contact..), unless we as individuals are willing to compensate them for that. And we aren't.

It's just not sensible for elderly people to be socialising in pubs at the height of the winter bug season with covid, the flu and other nasty viruses going around.

Lots of older people feel life is for living and would rather risk it and enjoy themselves than hide away.

Of course you are not unreasonable, OP. My sincere condolences on your loss.

Sorry OP - your cousin not your aunt. (My own elderly aunt is very unwell and she's on my mind)

I think many with cancer have died not being able to get to a doctor, it’s all messed up. People will suffer with other illnesses silently. Death toll from other illnesses and cancer will rise significantly in the future years in my opinion. The nhs is failing.

Back in th real world people have bills to pay ,they can't afford to stay home and isolate with no money coming in .

But it's not just about them, is it? I have relatives who are in their 60s and vulnerable to covid. Why should they be put at risk because 89-year-old granny thinks it's worth the risk because she'll be dead soon anyway?

I think the COVID pandemic has made me realise life is for living and we all die. I have no wish to limit my life when I could drop dead of anything. If people want to stay at home go for it , I will be making the most of it until the grim reaper calls. I'd rather I lived my life than being stuck at home trying to prevent every single illness.

No idea what you’re talking about. You’re saying my 89 year old father should stay at home for the rest of his life? What?!

I wouldn’t want this it’s too expensive and we’ve paid so much already. And I do think being concerned re the economy is a good idea.

Why do so many people who respond to these threads wilfully ignore the fact that there are mitigation measures that could be implemented that don’t involve locking everyone up again?!

There really is nothing wrong with living in a society where ill people stay at home to get better rather than “soldiering on” and spreading it around.

There is nothing wrong with not wanting to send our kids into germ factories where they get illness after illness, when a bit of investment into our schools could help prevent this.

My mum had COPD. She was diagnosed in her mid to late 40’s. From then on a cold could put her in hospital and it did, many times until she died at 61. I’m not sure what the answer is because we can’t keep social distancing etc. up for ever and there’s evidence that it makes things worse in the long run as far as immunity goes. COVID will never be over, neither will colds and flu.

Your vulnerable relatives can choose not to go then. Why should granny restrict her activities ? Stop trying to police people's freedom.