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Original poster

Parents want me to do and kids to do covid test before visiting

550 replies

Needarest22 · 22/12/2022 12:51

AIBU for being a bit put out by this?
My brother is also visiting and he's really cautious about covid so it could be driven by him. There is no talk of them doing one.
AIBU to be a bit miffed?

OP posts:
Megifer · 23/12/2022 13:54

JohnPrescottsPyjamas · 23/12/2022 13:12

Totally agree.
I’ve had flu twice and I think people who think flu is just a heavier cold than usual clearly have never had it! I know exactly what you experienced. It’s truly dreadful - and I was weak and struggled for weeks after my dose too, despite being fit and well when I caught it. But no one called it ‘Long Flu’ I coughed until I retched, every joint ached, I couldn’t bear even the weight of a blanket on my body because of the discomfort and swung between boiling hot and chattering with cold.

On the other hand, I caught covid (in my late 50s and unvaccinated) and didn’t realise until my daughter suggested I test. I had a day of feeling a bit meh, a slightly snotty nose and nothing else. As for it being highly infectious, DH and I shared a bed and sat next to each other in a warm living room and he didn’t test positive until 5 weeks later! It’s either got a hell of an incubation period or he caught it from someone else. Tbh, I don’t think even the experts fully understand how the infection is transmitted.

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I imagine it wasn't called 'long flu' because it didn't last months, causing debilitating fatigue, breathlessness, palpitations, thunderclap headaches (bit of a gamble not knowing if one would actually be a stroke and not just the mildness that is covid 🙄), no taste or smell for months so could barely eat, liver issues, vision issues, period issues,...I could go on.

And maybe because covid is a completely different type of virus, but you know that right?

Sunnytwobridges · 23/12/2022 14:54

MelchiorsMistress · 22/12/2022 12:59

Just tell them you’ve done it and it was fine.

How selfish. I have asthma and when i get sick I have to go to the hospital to get injections and IVs so I can breathe. Lying about the test and then exposing someone is the most selfish thing I ever heard. How hard is it to test to protect your loved ones?

YellowTreeHouse · 23/12/2022 15:11

Megifer · 23/12/2022 12:42

Who's doing that? Have I missed a post? (Genuine question)

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The OPs parents.

YellowTreeHouse · 23/12/2022 15:13

orchid220 · 23/12/2022 13:06

Who are you to decide what "the overwhelming majority of people" experience? You don't know everyone. Many people have told me that they felt very ill. That doesn't mean hospitalised but ill enough to be to not want it again.

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You are speaking anecdotally. That means nothing.

Look at the statistics and evidence. That’s how we know it’s nothing more than a minor illness.

dancingdaisies · 23/12/2022 15:20

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the request of the poster.

Travelbud · 23/12/2022 15:26

poefaced · 22/12/2022 12:59

They are hypocrites because they are refusing to do one themselves to protect you.

Just lie and say you tested and you were all negative.

And ask them to confirm they are negative too.

This

I wouldn't lie though because you never know. I simply would not go, each to their own and all that but life's too short it is ridiculous I'd rather stop at home in my own house.

Megifer · 23/12/2022 15:42

YellowTreeHouse · 23/12/2022 15:11

The OPs parents.

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Where does it say they are doing those things because of covid?

alltheevennumbers · 23/12/2022 15:53

YellowTreeHouse · 23/12/2022 11:33

Yes, it is. Covid is a mild illness at best for the overwhelming majority of people no matter what your narrative is.

And like everything else, covid should be the same. If you feel well enough to go out and about, regardless of what illness you have, feel free to do so. If you don’t, don’t.

Either way your anxiety and paranoia about a mild illness are something you need to deal with, not try and make everyone else follow you down the rabbit hole.

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I think you are the one pushing a dodgy narrative. The Government's advice remains to stay at home and away from others:

When to self isolate

When you are ready to engage with facts/reality, you might want to take a look at the picture in terms of long term organ damage and long Covid.

TheGr8Cornholio · 23/12/2022 16:04

I know I'm late to comment on this, but I am astonished at the amount of vitriol you have received.

My advice is to listen to your gut instinct, love. This is a personal decision for you and your family. If it makes you uncomfortable, you are perfectly entitled to say no. Nobody gets to demand you do anything with your body that you don't want to, and that extends to swabbing your nose or throat. No ifs, or buts. There are many more viruses being shared around each winter than just covid. If your parents do not feel that their vaccinations are adequate protection, then perhaps even the risk of catching a cold is too much. That is their decision to make. If they insist on you testing and you don't want to, you could simply politely decline and have Christmas at your own home and focus on your lovely kids instead :)

Hope it all works out for you and your family. Merry Christmas to you, and a happy new year as well xx

LaLuz7 · 23/12/2022 16:22

Nobody gets to demand you do anything with your body that you don't want to, and that extends to swabbing your nose or throat. No ifs, or buts.

It was just a matter a time before someone brought it the "your body your choice" mantra. How original...

It's 2 seconds of discomfort with zero repercussions, not donating an organ...

Good lord...

YellowTreeHouse · 23/12/2022 16:26

Megifer · 23/12/2022 15:42

Where does it say they are doing those things because of covid?

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How many sane people do you know that wore masks, rarely went out and insisted on people taking tests before they came into their home before covid?

YellowTreeHouse · 23/12/2022 16:28

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Megifer · 23/12/2022 16:36

YellowTreeHouse · 23/12/2022 16:26

How many sane people do you know that wore masks, rarely went out and insisted on people taking tests before they came into their home before covid?

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Sorry, maybe I should have asked where does it say they are doing those things? I've only seen them ask op to test, seems reasonable given what we know of covid and how it disproportionately affects the elderly and vulnerable. And how it spreads and manifests vs other viruses before someone chimes in with "what about coldsores, they can cause illness" 🙄

Delatron · 23/12/2022 16:42

The issue here is the utter obsession over Covid versus all the other illnesses flying around. We have vaccinations which reduce the severity of this disease- many elderly have had 4/5 of these?

The sense of perspective has been lost here. I’ve had Covid (mild), over it very quickly. I’ve had flu - knocked me out for months and I was very fit then - I couldn’t run or do any sport for a very long time. For me flu is far more fearsome. Norovirus- horrific and debilitating.

We spent 2 years on and off not seeing grandparents, not socialising, missing weddings, school, etc.

I find it very sad that some people are choosing to continue to live their lives in fear of this virus.

OP may well decide to not even go to this family event due to the paranoid demands. I wouldn’t. I mean I’d test but I could still be harbouring anything. I’d hate for my kids to be accused of germ spreaders.

It’s quite sad all round.

Delatron · 23/12/2022 16:43

And a negative test is no guarantee. I tested positive on a PCR with no symptoms- only a few days later did I get the positive lateral flow.

Megifer · 23/12/2022 16:49

"Please can you do a test before we get together? Better than doing none, I'm a bit nervy about catching it incase I suffer really badly with it" = insane

"How very dare you, I'm not putting a small stick up my nose for 5 seconds ever again for anyone, not even you. I dont care if I love you, or even like you, I'd rather not see you than do that 15 second task so you feel a bit calmer. Its all been hyped up. What if you caught it within 2 months anyway? My friends sisters 110 year old gran caught it and she only coughed once and shes been fine." = perfectly reasonable

I know which one id back away slowly from (and maybe ask if they were feeling ok, whilst retreating)

Megifer · 23/12/2022 16:53

Forgot to add, maybe those of us who had covid very bad, and still suffer to this day with the effects, or lost people to it, are a bit more sympathetic to people who do still worry about it

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 23/12/2022 17:02

I would do one if they paid for the tests. I wouldn't if they expected me to pay

Travelbud · 23/12/2022 17:13

Megifer · 23/12/2022 16:53

Forgot to add, maybe those of us who had covid very bad, and still suffer to this day with the effects, or lost people to it, are a bit more sympathetic to people who do still worry about it

I don't think it's a case of that. Whilst your saying you suffered people also suffered with other things due to covid.

So it's not a case of one's needs trumping the other. I definitely think though that people get caught up in the mist mean while the effects of lockdown have left people with anxiety, self harm and lots of other issues they didn't have before covid.

Hellybelly84 · 23/12/2022 17:27

Delatron · 23/12/2022 16:42

The issue here is the utter obsession over Covid versus all the other illnesses flying around. We have vaccinations which reduce the severity of this disease- many elderly have had 4/5 of these?

The sense of perspective has been lost here. I’ve had Covid (mild), over it very quickly. I’ve had flu - knocked me out for months and I was very fit then - I couldn’t run or do any sport for a very long time. For me flu is far more fearsome. Norovirus- horrific and debilitating.

We spent 2 years on and off not seeing grandparents, not socialising, missing weddings, school, etc.

I find it very sad that some people are choosing to continue to live their lives in fear of this virus.

OP may well decide to not even go to this family event due to the paranoid demands. I wouldn’t. I mean I’d test but I could still be harbouring anything. I’d hate for my kids to be accused of germ spreaders.

It’s quite sad all round.

Agree completely x

RovenderKitt · 23/12/2022 17:30

Why would you be miffed? We had an early Xmas with ILs this week and DH voluntarily did a test first because some people at his work have COVID. I’d been working from home all week so didn’t but would have been happy to if asked.

user1471447863 · 23/12/2022 17:39

Are those that are finding the tests really difficult or distressing to do needing a bit of help with them? It really doesn't sound like they are doing them the right way - like are you remembering to take the swab out of the box before trying to stick it up your nose?
I'm sure we could point you to some youtube videos that walk you through the process if you are having trouble reading the instructions.

Megifer · 23/12/2022 17:41

Travelbud · 23/12/2022 17:13

I don't think it's a case of that. Whilst your saying you suffered people also suffered with other things due to covid.

So it's not a case of one's needs trumping the other. I definitely think though that people get caught up in the mist mean while the effects of lockdown have left people with anxiety, self harm and lots of other issues they didn't have before covid.

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So why do you think that those people can't also be sympathetic to the ones who are still nervy? Why are they so hateful and downright nasty about it?

I also agree lockdown has left a lot of people with a different kind of anxiety, causing selfishness, spitefullness and bitterness towards others. Well, I don't see this in real life tbf, only on MN.

Ineedcoffee2021 · 23/12/2022 18:05

wouldnt do it
if im not showing any signs of illness i wont test, waste of time

MintyFreshOne · 23/12/2022 18:14

It’s terribly sad that it’s come to this. Will you have to do this every winter? You might want to put your foot down now to avoid this outcome.

Out of curiosity, do they live limited lives due to fear of covid or have they always been like this?