CV with Covid and no-one gives a toss

[EatSleepRantRepeat]

Tested positive on Weds, since them have been getting far worse with symptoms, been in bed pretty much since then and using my inhaler several times a day.

Not one person has bothered to check in on me and DH to offer any help. All the friends who were bleating on demanding continuous lockdowns to protect the vulnerable on their social media have disappeared or DGAF, eveb my DM the hypochondriac hasn't texted to ask how I am. My DH has even been suggesting that now it's legal, I can go outside for a walk around in the fresh air to see if I feel better!

Meanwhile when friends have gotten ill I've been offering to do their supermarket shopping, pharmacy runs and even popping little things in the post to cheer them up while they were isolating.

I'm all for not having the population locked down by law, and for people taking personal responsibility to avoid infecting others, but any remainder of support there was has moved on to the next drama-creating, virtue signalling exercise. Frankly I wish they hadn't bothered to pretend they cared about CV people in the first place, or I'd have had time to arrange other support.

I don't know what I'm looking for with my post, just to vent I guess.

I admit that I have messaged my single friends with Covid daily to check in on them and offer shopping / cooking etc.
My friends who live with someone else, I have messaged initially with offers, but have only then contacted every three or four days.

Most people probably know multiple people affected by covid at any one time now, unlike at the start of the pandemic so they don't really think about offering support anymore. Where would it end? I know you say you're not well but surely you can use the toilet then he can leave for an hour to pick up essentials to let til you can get a delivery

Here's the list of who's eligible for antivirals. From what I can see it's a sub-set of those on the CEV list so I don't know if you'll be eligible but you should chase asap if you are:

www.nhs.uk/conditions/coronavirus-covid-19/self-care-and-treatments-for-coronavirus/treatments-for-coronavirus/

If you're eligible for antivirals, the advice is:

"If you have not been contacted within 24 hours of your positive test but you are eligible for COVID-19 treatments, call your GP surgery or specialist, or call 111. You cannot get help for this online. Your GP, specialist or NHS 111 will be able to make an urgent referral if needed."

Honestly wouldn’t think to ask a married person with covid if they needed anything, since no one else in their household needs to isolate. Would be happy to help if asked. People are bored of it, there’s lots of other things to think about at the moment, cost of living etc, people aren’t mind readers. Get well soon, OP.

Sorry you're so unwell OP. It the fact is and as others have stated people are bored and fed up with covid now. Chances are your friends have either had it, currently have it or know plenty of other people who also have it right now. The majority of the population is just getting on with it now and only feeling unwell for a few days.

How did your friends find out you have it? Did you do a group text? A social media announcement? Have you made it aware that you're very unwell? Even if you're CV (sorry don't know what your condition is), chances are this fact will not be at the top of your friends minds and they will just assume you'll get on and recover like the rest of the population who have it.

If you've got a husband at home then I would have assumed that he would be there to help with any errands / help that was needed.

Fact is now 2 years on people have got their own lives they need to get on with. Their own illnesses and issues. When covid first hit the gov't did enough to scare the shit out of us all and everyone pitched in to help others for various reasons, one of which was because they literally had nothing else to do. Life has moved on. But if you feel you need help then ask for it!!

@drpet49

* It's not even the lack of practical offers, it's the lack of contact at all - as if everyone's just bored of it now.*

^But people are bored of it. 2 years of it. Everyone I know is just treating Covid the same as flu.

Yep expect it’s not flu.

The flu kills about 1400 people per year. Nearly 1200 have died of covid on the last week.

So yes booooring.

But you know what, closing your eyes and putting your fingers in your ears won’t either stop people from dying or needing support when they are ill.
Even if, you, personally, have had covid and thought it was like a cold. I mean after all, we use to think that having the flu was pretty bad!

Im sorry you are feeling so unwell. So many people have covid at the moment that it doesn't feel like news to hear someone has it, although perhaps it should.

My DH currently has covid. I haven't had any offers of help, but I wouldn't expect any as everyone knows that he has me here. I've popped out for any shopping we need and for paracetamol.

I hope you feel better soon. Don't read too much into the reaction of your friends.

My toddler dd tested positive last Sunday, and retested yesterday where the results were just as strong. DH tested positive on Wednesday and I tested positive on Thursday and am 37 weeks pregnant.

As soon as DD's positive came up, I booked online grocery shops to come during the week "just in case" DH and I caught it!

I also asked FIL to pick up a couple of things that were available on our delivery - I didn't wait to be asked.

Either your DH needs to get you settled with drinks and pop to the supermarket or you need to book an online delivery or you need to ask someone to help. It's not rocket science!

We were very ill with covid, it didn't occur to me that I would make it everyone else's problem. Short of a stint in hospital or an ICU I am not sure anyone would notice or worry.

We laid in bed day after day, ordered shopping to be delivered and drank night nurse until we felt better.

I wouldn't want a pity party when I am really il. Just to be left alone. People are fatigued in every way possible - drained of all empathy and to expect them to feel anything else is unreasonable. Most people I know are at their limit in terms of capacity and can't take anything else on.

Book your delivery and get well soon op

This is exactly what pissed me off about the vast majority of lockdown lovers. Screaming oh about protecting the vulnerable and hiding behind the vulnerable as a cover for their own fears and worries about covid. I’m CV myself thanks to my medication and it really really fucked me off - no-one would of gave a toss if I’d died from anything else pre-covid, not that I’d expect anyone to care in all honesty, yet the same people bleated on about “protecting” people like me. The reality is though they don’t actually care about the vulnerable at all.

I’m sorry you feel rough. Get husband to do a food shop online, I find Asda is generally very good for having slots available same day or next day.

People are selfish and also virtue signal on social media. It’s how things are and I’d treat them in kind.

I’m so sorry to hear that you’re having such a hard time! It’s uttterly rubbish that nobody is checking up on you.

Covid has really shown who friends are. And who parents are…

I had to chase the antivirals at every stage but got them today which is Day 5 for me. I had lots of offers of help at the beginning but have preferred an online shop for Monday to top up as I've got loads of fresh pasta left from last weekend's shop. I'm going to be off the full 10 days I think- hospital doctor that's also CEV but have persuaded my trust I could work. I caught it from colleagues that are friends that I had a meal with.

If you're that breathless - and I've been in bed for all but 4-6 hrs a day - and dizzy I honestly think you should call 111. Did you buy an oximeter earlier in the pandemic? If your sats are persistently

[quote mocktail]Here's the list of who's eligible for antivirals. From what I can see it's a sub-set of those on the CEV list so I don't know if you'll be eligible but you should chase asap if you are:

www.nhs.uk/conditions/coronavirus-covid-19/self-care-and-treatments-for-coronavirus/treatments-for-coronavirus/[/quote]
My condition is on that list, I'm eligible for three primary doses of vaccine plus booster (and had them all), I have a letter from the NHS saying I'm eligible for antivirals and was sent a priority PCR, I'm immunosuppressed and was really unwell with covid recently... But (after three days of back and forth) was told the rules had recently changed and I was no longer eligible.

I've only just yesterday tested negative after three weeks positive, and four weeks of illness.

So I wouldn't get your hopes up re antivirals OP!

Oh and we all had it, but we have no friends or family at all to offer support. We just relied on online deliveries and takeaways for six days until DD tested negative and was able to go out (thankfully it overlapped with my positive test so we were only out of commission for four days).

I'm so sorry you feel unwell.

But I think you are being unrealistic. If even your DH is suggesting going out for a walk then can you understand why others are not thinking you need special assistance.

If you do then ask. Don't expect people to read your mind. The world is cracking on with life again.

If we offered to do shopping for everyone we know who has Covid at any one time we would never be out the shops! My in laws have it now as do numerous friends. Having said that, my best friend has it now and I’ve rang her daily asking if she wants anything but only because her DH is away. If he was home I would assume he could go to the shops for her.

I made a point of checking up on my local friends who had no support, who had covid, if they told me they had it. I didn't tell anyone other than my sisters and mum when I got it, not because I was being secretive, but because we are each other's support, so no one else needed to get involved. I can only assume your friends are thinking you're ok because you're not alone.

You need to ask for help. The fact is that for the vast majority of people now, it's not a serious illness anymore. So if it is serious for you, you need to let people know that you need help. Even CV people who I know who've had it have sailed through this latest variant. Don't just sit there and work yourself up that you're not getting help. Remember that earlier on, with lockdowns etc, people had much more time to offer help - things are almost 100% back to normal now, so people aren't sitting around looking for people to help.

TheNameOfTheRoses - 1400 die of flu per year? It’s usually anywhere between 10,000 and 25,000 per year. Average is around 17,000 a year.

Sorry but no I wouldn’t be falling over myself to offer help to someone with a partner at home. I would if I knew they lived alone. I wouldn’t assume covid was serious for them as it’s been mild for me and most people I know. I would ask how you were doing, but I wouldn’t be messaging to check in every day. As for norovirus, I wouldn’t be within 500 feet of anyone who had that!

OP just use your words and ask for what you need.

It's ok to help expect from friends, it's not ok to expect them to guess what you need.

I have COVID so I messaged school WhatsApp to ask for coverage of 4 school runs. It was all arranged within minutes because I just calmly asked for what I needed.

It's a bit rubbish OP. Maybe you don't need actual help but a text from a friend is nice.

I've checked in on friends regularly when they have been ill even if they have family around. They have done the same to me. It's called friendship, something which seems to be taken for granted far too much now.

I hope you feel better soon

I guess at the moment sooo many people have covid I know. But I am consciously trying to message them every other day to check in, especially friends I know who live alone.

You taking high dose vit C and D?