Anyone else’s elderly parents still really stressed and anxious about the prospect of getting covid?

[Kizty]

Not even that elderly but early 70s and to be honest still not liking getting too close to people they don’t know when outdoors. Their level of anxiety is still quite high and it’s sad they can’t enjoy their retirement a bit more. Not really sure how they will cope once the new lifting off all restrictions takes place.

Not my parents but I know people like that. And maybe surprisingly quite a lot of children who are very anxious.

You can't spend over a year trying to make people afraid and then just turn that off.

Yes, the inlaws. My mum is a wee bit cautious but dad has dementia so forgets covid even exists. But they have no family close by and have no alternative but to go to Tesco, to the hospital, GP, optician, etc.

Inlaws did not leave their house/garden between 28th February 2020 and January 2021 when they were called for their first vaccine. Not even for a walk. Food delivered, relatives dropping off anything else they needed, shopping was washed and post quarantined. (I suspect they are still doing this).

FIL isn't in the best of health with COPD, MIL keeps better but is an anxious person by nature. They were absolutely convinced in the first lockdown that even leaving the house for a short walk was dicing with death. Even now they are vaccinated, they will not go to shops, restaurants, cafes. They want masks and restrictions kept forever as they are so, so scared.

I don't think they'll ever recover to be honest.

Yes bestknitterinscotland that sounds similar. It’s so sad. It’s really hard to reverse, they are set in their ways now. There must be many 70+ in this situation.

No my parents are quite pragmatic,particularly since the vaccinations came in

My in-laws too, knitter. My MIL has not been out except to the doctor in two years, my FIL goes to pick up groceries at Walmart and little else.

He is ok but my MIL has become incredibly frail and seems to be loosing it a bit intellectually - at times she is with it but other times seems quite vacant.

At this point I don't think she'll ever be out much again.

Yes I started a thread about this the other week.DM is worried about DF getting covid, they're both in 80s but he's older and has some pre-existing health conditions. Poor man has not been allowed into a supermarket or restaurant for two years. I'm working on getting them across to ours for a night away to try to get her more comfortable with things.

My parents are in their 80s and are still being very cautious.

Yes, mine are. I don't really blame them when it's estimated that 1 in 19 in England have the virus at the moment though.

Yes, my mum and dad. It will be 2 years since I have been in their house next month. We used to see them a couple of times a week. We barely see them at all any more.

I'm really sad about it, for them and for us. I can't force them to see us if they aren't comfortable though.

@Kizty

Not even that elderly but early 70s and to be honest still not liking getting too close to people they don’t know when outdoors. Their level of anxiety is still quite high and it’s sad they can’t enjoy their retirement a bit more. Not really sure how they will cope once the new lifting off all restrictions takes place.

Elderly grandmothers (mid 80s) are not worried. Elderly step grandfather (mid 70s) is still working outside the home. One aunt (vulnerable, early 60s) is more cautious. I think this is because she is older but not elderly so would be expected to have another twenty or more years of life left to live.

You could get them ffp3 masks that the doctors wear when dealing with covid patients and explain that they are very safe for the wearer. Rather than use cloth masks which are more to protect others than yourself.

Perhaps that may encourage them out more.

That’s what I’m doing and I’m not retired yet, just have a fear of getting covid as I’ve seen how ill some triple vaccinated friends have become.

Sorry, didn't mean to quote

Not as such, but dm really only goes out for medical appointments and selected social groups now. Others do her shopping, collect prescriptions etc

Two elderly great aunts (80s) we've visited haven't been worried, cousin (vulnerable, 50s) would only see us outside.

My mum (78 this year) has been more relaxed throughout than most people I know my age (30s-40s). She was going to the hairdressers as soon as it was possible, out shopping nearly every day and has two holidays booked for this year.

Not my mum but she has two friends like this

One is mid 60s, one mid 80s

One has just this week been to the supermarket, but bafflingly, is still seeing his daughter and grandchild by chatting through a window. We think it's because the child isn't vaccinated but frankly we don't ask.

Mum is quite pissed off with the pair of them as they ring and just try to talk about covid all the bloody time.

@AlexaShutUp

Yes, my mum and dad. It will be 2 years since I have been in their house next month. We used to see them a couple of times a week. We barely see them at all any more.

I'm really sad about it, for them and for us. I can't force them to see us if they aren't comfortable though.

I'm sorry, that must be so hard

Yes my Mum and Dad age 78 and 88 are very cautious still. My mum is actually more terrified of passing it on to someone as well. They haven't been on a bus for two years nearly. My Dad stopped driving a while ago and the bus was great for getting them out and still having their independence. Covid has stole so much from the elderly. Its very sad.

Yes my parents .... mum seems to have some sort of health anxiety going on , to much time to sit and dwell and dads at the end of his tether.

I’m finding that properly elderly people are not as worried as older-but-not-elderly types in their late 60s.

Maybe it’s because at 65-70 you are newly retired and expect to live for another decade or two, whereas at 85 or 90 you might think, “sod it - I’m taking my chances and enjoying life, I mightn’t have long left”.

@GreenClock
Yes, that's how it seems to be in my family too. It's the vulnerable middle aged who are worried.

My mums 85 and doesn't give a monkey's.....she says she's had 3 jabs and what will be , will be.....we ( her children and partners, her 5 grandchildren and 3 GGC have all had it .....but she's never caught it from us...or anyone else yet ( to our knowledge)

Covid is still dangerous for older people so it's not unreasonable for them to be wary of it.

There's been a huge campaign about how crucial boosters are in preventing serious illness and death for this age group but it's also been reported that boosters stop working after 10 weeks. Now all protection measures are being removed just as many reach that 10 week mark! Many older people will be anxious and for good reason.

My parents (70) haven't worried about it all. They have taken sensible precautions but are of the opinion that if they are going stay in forever then they may as well be dead anyway. I find it quite sad that very elderly people are living their lives in fear. This sounds brutal but if you manage to live into your nineties something is going finish you off sooner rather than later! Very sad way to end your days..

My mum is in her late 70s and is very wary. She lives a very quiet life anyway but is having all groceries delivered and only goes out for the doctor's, dentist and to collect prescriptions. She has had a triple bypass and nearly died, is on tons of meds so it's a legitimate worry, but it's concerning how small her world has become. She's rural and gets out for walks and occasionally to the tiny village shop/pub (garden only) but that's it.

I have inherited some of her heart issues and am also classed as 'at risk'; I consider myself careful but not ridiculously so. Masks have been obligatory indoors here since April 2020. Since Omicron I wear ffp2 masks to the supermarket and the hospital. I see friends one on one but we don't hug and keep a distance. We ate out on holiday in the late summer with friends, both inside and out, but cases were low here then. We haven't done it recently because although we have vaccine passes I don't have much confidence in them, as lots of vaccinated people are getting Covid and therefore spreading it around. I don't want to get sick because I have a small risk of being really Ill, but I have lots of other medical issues and it would disrupt my other treatment - wouldn't be able to go to physio, osteo, doctors' appts, psychologist, pain clinic, and those are the things that keep me going day to day. For the same reason I am not keen to get on a plane, because they seem like breeding grounds (along with airports). So I haven't been able to see my mum (if she would even see me!