Anyone else’s elderly parents still really stressed and anxious about the prospect of getting covid?

[Kizty]

Not even that elderly but early 70s and to be honest still not liking getting too close to people they don’t know when outdoors. Their level of anxiety is still quite high and it’s sad they can’t enjoy their retirement a bit more. Not really sure how they will cope once the new lifting off all restrictions takes place.

My DM (early 70s) lives alone and barely leaves her house. She does food shopping and goes to one social club. She would rather the social club meet was still virtual but it isn't so she goes rather than miss out. We have hardly seen her in 2 years. Phone calls are hard work as she has nothing to say and her relationship with my DC is now pretty much non existent. I can't see it ever changing.

What a patronising ageist thread.

Yes corrblimeyGG it is understandable as the situation for the individual is still not that clear. If vaccine only last a few months and don’t prevent you actually catching covid. You can understand why they would still be pretty concerned. But not really sure what the answer is

@CorrBlimeyGG

Does anyone remember the adverts the government were putting on the TV? They were designed to scare people. It's no surprise that people would take notice and remain scared.

This is what happens when a government puts the fear of God into people, then wipes their hands of the situation and pretends it's all over.

Yep. Inevitable. The behavioural manipulation people have a lot to answer for.

@JuliaDomna

What a patronising ageist thread.

How is it patronising and ageist?

Those of us who have parents who are "stressed and anxious", as per the thread title, are sharing experiences.

My wonderful Father died on the 4th January of Omicron had been vaccinated. His oxygen levels kept dropping and dropping. It's horrific and I find the news and certain comments hard to hear. Omicron certainly isn't "mild" but was fatal for my dear Dad. Not sure if the elderly being justifiably concerned is misplaced. My Dad is 70 and we are bereft.

So sorry about your lovely dad @Myfanwy81.

So sorry myfanwy81 I absolutely do not think there anxiety is misplaced and covid is still such a worrying virus. It’s just so hard to know how to live with it now and what risks are worth taking for the elderly.

My DP are like this. But my mum has all manner of mental health problems and if it wasn't covid she was afraid of it would be something else TBH.

I’m scared.

I’ve got post infection syndrome. ( not from Covid) 3 months and I’ve still got legs like water. Can’t do anything. Covid on top of this would be awful and just extend my already delayed recovery.

So lm keeping my distance.

Thank you. I'm sorry but finding all this "Yay it's all ok now attitude" jarring. None of us wants endless restrictions no but the lack of recognition at the loss suffered by many is heartbreaking.

I think the fact that the concern is justified (or partially so, depending on the individual) exacerbates the issue.

For some people, shutting themselves away is sensible and reasonable. Yet it also comes with significant negative impacts, as shown by many people’s experiences on this thread.

I’m sorry about your dad Myfanwy. 70 is no age and it must have been, and still be, an appalling experience for you and your family.

But I don’t think that people being concerned for the wider wellbeing of their older relatives is the same as saying ‘yay it’s all ok now’. Because it absolutely isn’t. My mother needs to see a dentist — her teeth are literally falling out — and she won’t. They should meet their grandchild but they won’t. Trying to get them to find workarounds so they can do these necessary things, while still helping them protect themselves, is not playing fast and loose with their lives, or indeed minimising the losses of those who died.

I am lucky, in a way, because my 80+ year old parents live in Wales and they have had confidence throughout in the very measured and cautious messaging from the Welsh Government (though I can completely understand how frustrating it has been for others in different situations).

As a result, they have found it possible to adjust their activities up and down as the advice has changed, reducing the restrictions on their lives as restrictions have eased. For example, when mask wearing in church is no longer mandated, then I am sure that they will continue to attend church and no longer wear masks.

Some aspects of their lives - some church services, weekly contact with their children and grandchildren, my father's work - have moved online, and they use click and collect services for e.g. grocery shopping, but this has kept and will keep their world more open in the face of increasing mental and physical frailty.

(I should say that we all live far away from them, so frequent visiting of children and grandchildren has never been a feature of their lives. What would have been weekly phone calls are now video calls, which is an improvement rather than the reverse)

@GreenClock

I’m finding that properly elderly people are not as worried as older-but-not-elderly types in their late 60s.

Maybe it’s because at 65-70 you are newly retired and expect to live for another decade or two, whereas at 85 or 90 you might think, “sod it - I’m taking my chances and enjoying life, I mightn’t have long left”.

Yes, those who are 80+ are generally reconciled to their own mortality, and realise that every year could well be their last, so it makes no sense to spend that time fretting and shut away.

Many in their 60-70s are newly retired, and too much time on their hands, and haven't really come to terms with their mortality like those in their 80-90s have.

My parents were very cautious until they got vaccinated, but now are living pretty normally again, seeing people and going out. I think they realise that their freedom to do this could go at any time, Covid or no Covid... and will almost certainly do so over the next 5-10 years.

My parents friends who have been super cautious finally started venturing out. And have picked up every illness and bug around. It’s not healthy to shut yourselves away.