Why I'm angry about the May parties at Downing Street - share your stories

[ThirdTimeIucky]

No agenda, just a whinge to demonstrate rhe millions of individual reasons people are angry about BYOB parties in Downing Street whilst the rest of us were in Lockdown. I've heard so many stories of loved ones dying alone, loneliness and heartbreak.

For me, when the party took place on the 20th, I had been struggling in a domestic abuse situation for months. In lockdown. I'd been on my own trying to deal with this situation. I felt like I was trapped. It was an incredibly painful and difficult time of my life. Three days later, feeling terribly guilty, and despite the restrictions, if went to my sisters as the situation had become so bad. But because of those restrictions, I stayed in that situation for so much longer than I should have done.

My MIL died in hospital alone. The previous day her daughter had been briefly allowed in but her son, my DH, was not as only one visitor allowed.

The socially distanced and very limited funeral was also very sad. There was no function afterwards either. We did not even have a socially distanced drink in one of our gardens, but it appears at least 30 people did in the Downing Street garden once again. We said goodbye at the crematorium car park.

I am angry because my son couldn’t have his year 6 production and leavers ball.

I will never forgive this government and I will never adhere to any restrictions again. Ever.

I'm so sorry for you all who have lost loved ones.

In May 2020 my business was forcibly closed and I'd not touched another human being for nearly two months. Too scared to break the rules and cuddle my mum while dropping groceries, because she's primary carer for my gran. And thank goodness she was as she was also living alone, recently widowed, and not able to see anyone.

It was another four weeks until they remembered single people or those who live alone and introduced bubbles, which came into force on 13 June 2020. I think so many people have forgotten that. I read recently that even prisoners in solitary confinement are only supposed to be isolated from human contact for 22 out of each 24 hours, for no more than two weeks in total. We had almost three months of it.

I do remember in May my lovely friend coming and sitting in the pouring rain in my garden so I could talk to her through my window - I cried so much after she had left. And I chose to be single and live alone and am fairly resilient, so I worry for the people for whom these circumstances are not their choice.

We've all suffered adhering to the guidelines on some form or other, whilst the people that imposed these rules ate, drank and merrily scoffed at us.
Never again

My dad was alone in a care home suffering dementia where he stayed for 2 more months before dying. Alone.

I will loathe this government until the day I die. And I also hate every fucking arsehole who voted for them too. Every one. And every one who still defends them. The whole fucking lot can get to hell.

I'm another person who stood alone and separated from the few other people allowed to attend (but not the ones that mattered as they couldn't come at all) at the funeral of the person I loved most in this world. Then went home to go back into lockdown alone.

My dad died suddenly a few days after this party. I used to see him most days before lockdown. Me and his grandchildren had gone 10 weeks without physically seeing him before he died, because we stuck to the rules. Feel very foolish for obeying them so strictly now.

He didn’t get the funeral he deserved. Or a wake at all.

It’s made what is already incredibly hard, even harder. I hadn’t gone through the angry part of grieving until this party came to light. I’m now so so angry.

@roarfeckingroarr

I'm not fussed. Their actions didn't cause other peoples misery.

Me neither, I was having socially distanced drinks in my neighbour's garden at the time. But yeah, left wing MN.

Some unbelievably sad stories here.
My eldest Aunt died at the beginning of May, it broke my Mams heart that she wasn't able to visit her in her care home. There were 10 people at her funeral, stood two metres apart in the cemetery - no church service, no music. Not the send off she deserved.
20th May is my Mams birthday, 2020 was the only year I didn't see her on her Birthday because of the restrictions in place.
It's heartbreaking to read the experiences of others here.

We’ve all had different, upsetting experiences and they are all valid. Sending hugs to you all

@hilariousnamehere

I'm so sorry for you all who have lost loved ones.

In May 2020 my business was forcibly closed and I'd not touched another human being for nearly two months. Too scared to break the rules and cuddle my mum while dropping groceries, because she's primary carer for my gran. And thank goodness she was as she was also living alone, recently widowed, and not able to see anyone.

It was another four weeks until they remembered single people or those who live alone and introduced bubbles, which came into force on 13 June 2020. I think so many people have forgotten that. I read recently that even prisoners in solitary confinement are only supposed to be isolated from human contact for 22 out of each 24 hours, for no more than two weeks in total. We had almost three months of it.

I do remember in May my lovely friend coming and sitting in the pouring rain in my garden so I could talk to her through my window - I cried so much after she had left. And I chose to be single and live alone and am fairly resilient, so I worry for the people for whom these circumstances are not their choice.

Hear hear. I was in a similar boat, only was not living alone by choice. Those few weeks until I decided I had to break the rules were utterly hideous. Being made to feel like a weakling for needing some contact and company. "Just stay the fuck at home" etc.

It's the blind rule followers I find as hard to forgive as the rule makers, to be honest

Our friends lost their son and weren't allowed to be by his side at the end.
He was 15.

I'm livid that their actions make a mockery of all the things we did. I was still shielding in March 2020, I did not touch another person for five months, I did not hug my husband or children, I took the advice seriously and did what my doctor told me to do.

My friend buried her husband in may 2020, with just 6 people with her.

My friend's 30 year old child died of covid in may 2020, and all people could say was 'well they must have had an underlying condition' (they didn't, but that's not important.)

I'm livid that this government made a mockery of us all. I believe the lockdowns were the only option, but they would have been much easier if the government had not completely disregarded them, and us, in the process.

I'm livid with them still, for discounting long covid, for not giving a toss about anyone but themselves, for scrambling to wipe the mud off their names when we can all see it sticking there.

I'm so sad to read all your stories. I'm sad that we've become so polarised, that even on this thread people are attacking others who agree with lockdowns, that the vulnerable have been othered all the way through. I am so sad for it all.

@FajitaBonita left wing? Are you fucking kidding??? So you see nothing wrong?

Jesus Christ - no wonder they get away with this bullshit 🤬.

@user1471511336

I'm another person who stood alone and separated from the few other people allowed to attend (but not the ones that mattered as they couldn't come at all) at the funeral of the person I loved most in this world. Then went home to go back into lockdown alone.

I'm so very sorry. I can't imagine your pain.

Who do you think made the rules that allowed the horrors above? It was all about reducing transmission. If wankers like BJ had actually stuck to the rules then we could have allowed people to be with their dying loved ones as it was the NHS couldn't cope because people were having fucking drinks in the garden.

Thank you @Madhairday.

My DS didn’t see another child for months.

Mild compared to other posts here, but enough to make my blood boil if Downing Street was having parties.

So many heartbreaking stories and people trying so hard to stick to the rules.

Now this email business. An absolute fucking disgrace is what it is. Then he even smirked when questioned about it yesterday.

Wonder what will happen tomorrow at PMQs?

I am angry for everything my children missed out on. I am angry for my partners family who had to have 10 people at a funeral for a much loved grandparent who really deserved his life celebrating but most of all I am angry for every single person who suffered whilst sticking to the rules and lost family members or went through horrible times but did the right thing because they are good people. I hope this is the end of the terrible horrible man running our country I worry who will be next...

[quote BeMoreGoldfish]@FajitaBonita left wing? Are you fucking kidding??? So you see nothing wrong?

Jesus Christ - no wonder they get away with this bullshit 🤬.[/quote]
Not really no, as I said I was having outside drinks with a friend then too. I am sorry that horrible things happened to people. I too, lost a close family member in early 2021 and the funeral and non existant wake was shit but I can't get het up over it.

My heart breaks for all of you who lost your loved ones, all who were lonely, all who were scared. In May I sat in my house petrified that my 9yr old with asd and asthma would catch covid if we opened the door. I was washing every bit of grocery, sanitising post, my mental health deteriorated. My 9 yr old crying, shouting, chewing her nails off because she couldn’t handle online lessons. My 6 yr old crying to go to the park or for a walk. I was too fearful for her older sister’s asthma. On my dds 6th birthday party on 17th of May, we stepped out to the park for an hour to cut the cake. We didn’t want to overwhelm the nhs. I listened to the briefings. I am now sad for myself, my girls and my country. We have lost so much, while they just pretended. I hate Boris and his government for their hypocrisy. While we now pay the price.. they go on living and doing date nights.

I lost my mum. She died alone In hospital. We were not allowed to visit and she wasn't the best with her phone and to add to that staffing was horrendous so the few times we did speak she told me how she'd been struggling and waiting for help for hours. She was terrified!! We were told we would be allowed in at end of life but her health wasn't monitored and she was found already gone - app all happened so quick so I couldn't be called bit frankly I'm not sure I believe that.

I was not allowed to see her body, she couldn't be dressed or have anything put in the coffin with her. I sat at her funeral alone.

Quite honestly I can't imagine any scenario that could have made it harder. Well until knowing the people that put these rules in place are making a mockery of the whole thing.

He needs to be held to account.

It's the blind rule followers I find as hard to forgive as the rule makers, to be honest

@HesterShaw1 me too. I broke the rules eventually because my mental health was in such a bad state that I really, really needed help taking care of DS, so I started seeing my mum and dad. But the amount of fucking judgement, on here, from people I know IRL too. And I remember a woman pointing and shaking her head at me and DS as we sat on a bench in the street (back when benches were no go areas), eating crisps. I had just carried a big, angry 2 year old for about a mile, as I was desperate to get out of the house and he wouldn’t walk. I barely had anything in my stomach as I couldn’t keep much food down. I called that woman a dick to her face, never having done anything like that before.