Why I'm angry about the May parties at Downing Street - share your stories

[ThirdTimeIucky]

No agenda, just a whinge to demonstrate rhe millions of individual reasons people are angry about BYOB parties in Downing Street whilst the rest of us were in Lockdown. I've heard so many stories of loved ones dying alone, loneliness and heartbreak.

For me, when the party took place on the 20th, I had been struggling in a domestic abuse situation for months. In lockdown. I'd been on my own trying to deal with this situation. I felt like I was trapped. It was an incredibly painful and difficult time of my life. Three days later, feeling terribly guilty, and despite the restrictions, if went to my sisters as the situation had become so bad. But because of those restrictions, I stayed in that situation for so much longer than I should have done.

@wintertravel1980

This is also May 2020.

Different people, different personal circumstances and sometimes different choices.

I think I the fact that people were so concerned about these pictures demonstrates that we were still very worried about outdoor spread at this time.

Also these were smaller groups visiting a public place where others happened to be, not 100 person meet-ups.

My brother died aged 36 (cancer) his funeral consisted of 10 of us who all had to sit in household groups and were not allowed to comfort each other. My mum and my younger sister had to sit alone

Not really no, as I said I was having outside drinks with a friend then too. I am sorry that horrible things happened to people. I too, lost a close family member in early 2021 and the funeral and non existant wake was shit but I can't get het up over it.

I don’t know enough to know whether you broke the rules, but this party clearly did.

If these people ‘deserved’ to break the rules, apparently because there hadn’t been a party for 5 days, why didn’t other people deserve to break the rules when they were in much more difficult circumstances? People have gone through such pain, but now it turns out that rules were flexible?

This party has hurt people.

@theemperorhasnoclothes

I don't have anything as sad as most on this thread (some really tragic stories), but I missed going to the funeral of a close friend, who I still miss, and had to watch the livestream online. It was a beautiful funeral. I felt most sad for her young daughter who didn't get to see how many friends her Mum had and had to sit socially distanced from her relatives (she was primary age).

But yes, 100 people invited to a garden party.

I lost both grandparents in the spring/summer of 2020 and both funerals had barely 10 people. No wake. There was no social distancing between, you telling me they left a primary age child without a cuddle at her mother’s funeral?

@Waitingtomove

My brother died aged 36 (cancer) his funeral consisted of 10 of us who all had to sit in household groups and were not allowed to comfort each other. My mum and my younger sister had to sit alone

Who stopped you from comforting each other?

We were told by the funeral director we were to sit socially distanced in household groups. My mum and my sister live alone and therefore had to sit alone during the service

Reading all these stories is heart-breaking, I'm so sorry, and so angry at the government. What strikes me is the carefree tone of that invitation... "we thought it would be nice"... that makes it sound like they hadnt weighed up whether it was the right thing to do. It makes me think, they weren't EVER following the rules, to send out such a thoughtless invitation. Whilst the rest of us agonized over interpretation and deciding whether to break the rules. Remember all the MN threads back then?

I couldn't remember May 20th, so I scrolled back through the million WhatsApp messages to my mum (she lived alone so we chatted a lot by voice and text).

On May 20th, my DD age 9 was struggling with homeschooling and my 1 year old wouldnt go down for a nap. I was feeling a bit hopeless. I wrote to my mum, "DD refuses to do her homeschooling today, she won't let me explain anything to her and she can't figure it out on her own. I think she finally snapped. She is lying in the garden sulking, waiting for the world to end."

It was such a hard time even with nothing truly awful in our lives compared to so many others - and yes, beautiful weather and unable to spend it doing normal things because of Rules and Protecting the NHS. For a child, that period of time dragged and dragged and we couldn't reassure them when or how normal life would return.

I am furious with Boris and his gang, but not even a little bit surprised. He has never been in touch with the people. I would have given anything to have someone else in charge during covid - Theresa May even! How anyone voted for Boris, I will never understand.

I have no clue what I was doing May 20th. That time was a blur. I went into live teaching to timetable immediately. DH was in school supervising KW children. I ignored my own primary aged children from 9-3.40 apart from lunch time. I was constantly on edge that DS (ASD) would have a meltdown and my classes would see or hear him. My mum is in a care home, I couldn’t see her. She has dementia, MS and is mute. I couldn’t speak to her as she couldn’t hold a phone. I remember positing on MN about my struggles and someone suggested I take time off work. I was then piled on saying I was a ‘lazy teacher’ who would be abusing the system. Nearly two years on I’m still on anti-depressants.

This thread is heartbreaking. I think we should all print it out and post it to 10 Downing Street.

We stuck to the rules. At one point a friend knocked on our door during their 'daily walk'. Our 6yo dds played on the drive 2m apart, and made up ways to hug that didn't involve touching each other. It felt like we were being a bit risque to at the time.

There is no way on earth that I am ever depriving my children of proper interaction with their friends again.

I was unable to visit my family for two years, first because I literally couldn't leave my resident country (the airport closed) but then later because apparently as someone coming from a dirty forriner country I had to quarantine for ten days. With a small child that wasn't reasonable or feasible.

Turns out I could have just said I was quarantining and visited everyone, had some parties and brought my own booze. After all, I was working very hard at the time.

Next slide please.

@Scrunchies I'm so very sorry. How cruel that you had to face that alone.

1.it just highlights how Downing st thinks its above the UK people.
It is detracting from other news,
2. frankly I'm more pissed off that an MP has a full time job with far to generous expenses & manage to fit in second jobs.
3.I'm pissed off that they are pushing for a pay rise

1. I'm pissed off that they still have good pensions.
2. I'm pissed off that Boris and cronies are shit at their job & they get to keep them.
3. I'm pissed of that the debates are like playground shouting matches rather than debates - nothing gets done.
4. Westminster has no empathy & understanding of how real people live, they just seem to want to look after themselves & accumulate their own wealth

It's the blind rule followers I find as hard to forgive as the rule makers, to be honest

HesterShaw1
All the smug fuckers in their big houses and gardens who had the time and money to still live comfortably and letting others take risks they weren't willing to in order to "stay safe".

I remember all the spiteful posts on here giving clearly struggling people a kicking because they dare express that they aren't coping with solitude.

Judging parents who were worried about how they would be able to work, homeschooling AND look after small children and suggesting confining babies and toddlers into play pens or buggies all day. Or getting your day work in overnight instead of sleeping.

Even now we still have people wanting more restrictions and lockdowns. They can all get in the fucking bin with Boris

Reading the stories above it is absolutely heartbreaking.
Its shit we have these people in charge who have hurt so many people & it looks like there will be no repercussions.

Not as hard as some of the posts on here but my son struggled not being in school and with his friends. It’s was really difficult. Also, he was in primary 7 so all of his activities, including residential trips etc before going to high school were cancelled. Those are seen as a right of passage to high school really. His mental health has struggled and he still has not done a full week in high school because of the restrictions the council and school have in place.

We went to MIL funeral. 7 of us sat separately. No wake. We drove up the motorway feeling like we could be arrested.

I am upset at the May parties because I was miles away from my parents and I could only video call them as travel was banned. I had to video call them, watching my dad who was clearly unwell on the videos.
My mum had tried to seek medical help several times. But was given phone appointments.

When restrictions were lifted we went straight away to see them. My father was really unwell and had lost speech and balance.
We took him to A and E where they kept him in hospital. We were not allowed to visit. Even my mum.
One month after he was admitted, my dad passed away really suddenly with a Glioblastoma brain tumour. He was in his early 70s
The lockdown restrictions robbed me and my my family of that precious time with him.
Seeing what has been going on in Downing Street is really upsetting and has Frankly affected my MH to think that they thought this was acceptable.

@OliveTree75 I too had just had a baby & family only saw DD through a window. I remember crying after each person had left, it was so sad looking at them & not being able to reach out & hug them or let them meet DD.

I'm so sorry to everyone who lost loved ones & missed saying goodbye during that time

In May 2020, I was managing a care home in outbreak. I had no support. I could not get PCR tests at all and spent 2 consecutive weekends crying on the phone to PHE to get them. I needed 4 swabs and was given 3, so I had to choose who to swab. I was getting up at 230am to buy masks for my staff for as much as £1 per mask because all normal PPE suppliers were diverting to the NHS. I had GPs refusing to come out to certify deaths, refusing home visits, struggles getting an ambulance, staff becoming unwell, reading reams and reams of government guidance every day, dealt with a fairly major error by a testing lab that wrongly told us we had a resident with food poisoning, having to order food for staff using beelivery because care home staff were being told they were not key workers, had daily spreadsheets to fill in for infection control, all my nursing team off at once and trying to navigate risk assessing BAME groups. Managing staff anxieties and also doing my normal day job in a turnaround management post. I had to make the choice to allow relatives in to see residents as they were dying against advice because I couldn't bear the alternative. I had to listen to that prat Hancock go on about a protective ring when we were drowning. I read guidance horrified that at one point serious consideration was given to putting ventilators in care homes. I had to send masks to neighbouring homes because they had run out during an outbreak. My hands literally bled every shift, as did my staff. I had to tell staff on the phone they had COVID as late as midnight and give isolation advice. A disease with uncertain trajectory and prognosis. I wasnt trained for diagnosing people.

I ended up having a mental breakdown and was forced to leave nursing. I was a bloody good nurse and I cared about the people I looked after. My career, what I worked so hard for, is destroyed.

I am not angry. I am furious. Some people will have to live with the consequences of the pandemic for the rest of their lives despite following all the rules.

Others it seems carry on with impunity.

My dad died the first day of lockdown. My mum died 32 days later and I couldn't see her in that time. They were the sort of people who would have had, in normal times, big funerals with lots of people remembering all the things they'd done.
I lost both my parents without being able to see a single member of my extended family.
By May 20th, and a nice garden party for Boris and my sons birthday, I'd had to tell him that his remaining grandmother was having more cancer treatment and might die or be paralysed very soon. No support for him, no party, we couldn't even go and see MIL to support her

@Scrunchies

I had to sit alone, with my husband waiting in the car park, whilst they told me they couldn’t find the heart beat on my 28 week pregnancy. My husband cried in the car as I text him the news. I sat alone.

So so sorry, how terrible.

@Hedonism
People have been unable to say goodbye to loved ones, have had major surgery delayed, been unable to escape domestic violence incidents, give birth alone etc. Yet your gripe is your child couldn’t have a party?????? Do you realise quite how pathetic you sound? If that’s been your biggest issue during this whole pandemic then you want to consider yourself f*ing lucky!

Here we go... 🙄

I am so angry, we have been totally lied to by Gov & their advisors. Boris should go immediately and be arrested & tried. The extra powers of the coronavirus act should be abolished immediately. We should never, ever be subjected to lockdowns again. The figures do not stack up. People’s lives have been destroyed by this government and the to inept handling. This thread is testimony to the destruction caused, two years. It’s a disgrace.

@LadyPenelope68 everyone should have a voice here.