What's your Daily Announcement going to be?

[CovidisaThiefofJoyandcandoone]

having given up on Boris' announcements, I wondered if anyone else fancies making one. 5pm timing optional but you can leave everyone waiting for hours first if you prefer.

Today’s Mooncup figures are out and showing a fall of almost 40% from yesterday’s peak, with ‘getting up in the fucking night to empty it’ figures down to 2 from a monthly peak of 5.
Next slide please.

Unfortunately I must announce today that, alas, the last Quality Street has been consumed. It is a sad day for all concerned.

Next slide please

The wine is on the radiator!

I'm announcing that my three camels, a wise man and a star are now made and, if no scientist objects, will be going on my Christmas cake tomorrow. Note: only 1 wise man because of lockdown aka no more room on the cake

I went to Robert Dyas for the first time ever today.

I'm about to open the wine and do some baking. It might get fun the more wine I drink.

My boss let us finish today instead of tomorrow, and I'm celebrating with a bowl of chicken nuggets. Next slide please

I'd like to stress this important message:
DO open the wine
DO not keep 2m distance between you and the wine
Stay in your pyjamas!!!

I am not as snotty as I have been since we broke up on Friday. I am still awaiting my PCR test result but am continuing my personal purchasing of the contents of Amazon in defiance.

Today's purchase is 6 large heavy duty fabric bags for each family's presents along with some fabric pens to decorate said bags with on Boxing Day!

Home made mince pies contain no calories...

Next slide please.

@Phatsia

I'd like to stress this important message: DO open the wine DO not keep 2m distance between you and the wine Stay in your pyjamas!!!

It’s going to be tough following even MORE rules but I will do my best.

I think I've fixed the issue with the bath water not running hot enough! Tonight's bath will tell, I know you'll all be eager to hear the outcome, I'll keep you up to date with any further updates, at somepoint, maybe later, not sure if I'll be eating cheese and drinking wine instead. Next slide please!

Our Christmas chocolates were (ahem secretly) opened weeks ago, I've replaced the tin twice already

Open chocolates/ Stuff your face/ pray for space (in your jeans)

Breaking News (late as usual): I have finally found the end of the sellotape.

My Christmas Cheese has arrived from Neals Yard! 😊

I have got toothache. Again. Sigh.

I don't have to make dinner tonight, because of the stupid amount of it I made yesterday. Widespread sausages, hoops n mash as evidenced by the data in the fridge. Next slide please.

Emergency lockdown has commenced due to an incursion of a dead mouse (third today) brought in by The Cat. This is clearly the beginning of an epidemic and we must protect the kitchen floor. All cat flaps must be microchip controlled and access only given to felines not bearing 'gifts'. This has been a public service announcement.

I'm still working. I'm telling a giant company to fuck off and stop bullying my little client. I am full of righteous indignation because we all make mistakes and they don't have to be such a dick about it.

I've wrapped all my presents. Every single one.

I am stealing StayingAlives fabric bag idea for all presents since I can’t stand wrapping presents. I will, grumpily, wrap the odd Santa present in cheerful paper because Believers…
The cake (and pudding) were made yesterday and will be marzipanned tomorrow and iced well before Christmas Eve. We are following the science by not peaking too soon with preparations.
Next slide please.

@MrsWooster
Search laundry bags on Amazon. Mine are these ones!

Everyone is annoying the shit out of me today. Next twat please.

Ding dong merrily on high! Ta, Staying

If we were truly patriotic, it would only be fair to add a cheeseboard into the mix 😂