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Someone somewhere needs to articulate the lost quality of life

732 replies

Gguin · 17/12/2021 15:18

Firstly, I am not saying I think there shouldn't be restrictions as needed, masks, reduced social contact. I do. Just to reemphasise that, to prevent people misreading the title, I support and abide and have abided by restrictions, both statutory and advised.
I also hated every single second of the lockdown. I hated what it did to friends. I hated the disregard of single people. I hated the criminalisation of social lives. I hated the lost opportunities for young and not so young people to build or change their lives. I hated the paranoia and judgmentalism. I hated the NHS worship and everyone else can go hang.
And yes I hate this feeling, somewhere between anxiety, depression and a grinding underlying fear of future regret on all that has been lost. I drove past a pub in rural Ireland where I live today and it was shut, boarded up and probably will never reopen. The sign "craic agus ceoil" (laughter and music) was worn and frayed, like a relic of the times when we were able to enjoy themselves with abandon.
All I would like as the latest chapter of shit unfolds is for someone, somewhere to actually articulate the sadness of all the lost opportunities. The friends that have never been made, the months and years spent indoors, the catastrophic toll on mental health and above all this awful feeling that the many of the very things that make life worth living are so expendable and in some quarters, not even mourned.

OP posts:
glimpsing · 19/12/2021 09:48

People have been gaslit and manipulated and had their anxieties deliberately played on. Individuals aren't necessarily responsible for all the consequences of that.

Yes. So imagine for one moment seeing beyond the gaslight and letting in the fresh light of day. The anxieties which are created by gaslight turn out to be only shadows which disappear in the light of day. You can relax and breathe.Smile

humdingle · 19/12/2021 10:02

@applesapplesapples

Unpopular view but I’m now opposed to any further restrictions. This situation of getting into a panic and ruining people’s lives cannot continue indefinitely. I’m not apologising for saying people now need to mitigate their own risks and move on. This isn’t living.

Johnson is a fickle populist wobbler who will say and do anything to keep his job. Starmer just wants even more restrictions and to keep everyone locked up for ever.

Where are the voices saying enough is enough?

Agree with you
herecomesthsun · 19/12/2021 10:07

@VikingOnTheFridge

People have been gaslit and manipulated and had their anxieties deliberately played on. Individuals aren't necessarily responsible for all the consequences of that.
Listen to Chris Whitty; he tells the truth in the clear light of day and doesn't gaslight anyone.
Oblomov21 · 19/12/2021 10:07

Totally agree. Not sure what the new normal is going to be, but this shit sure isn't it.

VikingOnTheFridge · 19/12/2021 10:12

@glimpsing

People have been gaslit and manipulated and had their anxieties deliberately played on. Individuals aren't necessarily responsible for all the consequences of that.

Yes. So imagine for one moment seeing beyond the gaslight and letting in the fresh light of day. The anxieties which are created by gaslight turn out to be only shadows which disappear in the light of day. You can relax and breathe.Smile

Oh great, more inept cod psychology that nobody asked for.
firstimemamma · 19/12/2021 10:13

@ComDummings I couldn't agree more. I said it's cruel, never specified anything about a person. Perhaps you have the wrong username.

ComDummings · 19/12/2021 10:16

@firstimemamma sorry it just read to me like you were saying it was a cruel thing for that person to do specifically, I’m glad that’s not the case though

MarshaBradyo · 19/12/2021 10:22

The onslaught is tiring isn’t it

And I do only take in R4 / R6 news rather than other

The constant downward pressure on pretty much everything

MarshaBradyo · 19/12/2021 10:27

And a small thing but a big thing dd has been going to parties this year and is so excited to have hers after it was cancelled last year

I will do everything to make her excited as she should be, with her friends, but damn it’s tough isn’t it, to face it again

VikingOnTheFridge · 19/12/2021 10:29

@MarshaBradyo

And a small thing but a big thing dd has been going to parties this year and is so excited to have hers after it was cancelled last year

I will do everything to make her excited as she should be, with her friends, but damn it’s tough isn’t it, to face it again

Ah wonderful. Hope she enjoys it. I'm already looking forward to DSs birthday party in January.
Tzimi · 19/12/2021 10:29

@ChristmasRobins

It seems to me that trying to be positive and taking time to articulate what we've lost aren't mutually exclusive, in fact doing the latter might make it easier to do the former. I've tried to be positive throughout the pandemic, have looked for moments of joy even when things were really low, have done my best to adapt and make the most of the opportunities that I have....and yet I also feel immense sadness at what's been lost, at how much my children have been affected, at the real life-changing harm suffered by so many.

I think for me, taking time to acknowledge all of that sadness and loss actually makes it easier to then pick myself up and carry on with hope and positivity. I imagine lots of others feel the same. Some on this thread don't see it like that and think it's better just to keep your chin up- if that works for you then great! But it's not an approach that works for everyone.

I think some people are maybe confusing sitting down & going over past events, with obsessing and ruminating about them over & over again. The former is good and constructive, and can lead to making constructive plans for the present & future. Ruminating just leads you downwards into a negative spiral, as one other poster said. I'm not exactly sure myself where the line between the two lies...
Gingoo · 19/12/2021 11:01

I feel exactly the same way.
Where is the light at the end of the tunnel !

Lesserspottedmama · 19/12/2021 11:06

I’ve had enough and won’t comply with anything in the future, it still impacts our life but my focus on getting my children a happy childhood again. Two fingers up to everything else, so much is lies and spin anyway.

TheRemotePart · 19/12/2021 12:21

I agree with the BC and AC. I’ve been saying BC colloquially for a while now.
I just wish I still didn’t expect plans to fall through at the last minute
I keep making them and then being so sad when they’re cancelled or broken. But obviously I should know better by now.

bigyellowTpot · 19/12/2021 13:08

@ElectraBlue
I think the scientists and governments in many cases can't see the bigger picture. If people can't enjoy life and have something to look forward to there is no point in being alive at all.

That's the difference between merely surviving and living.

Most people are not going to want to live under almost permanent house arrest with no social contact for years. That goes against human nature.

At some point people's mental health become so badly affected that the effect is worse than what this virus, which the majority survive.

I don't see why kids and teenagers, who are almost completely unaffected by the actual virus, should have their lives and opportunities destroyed. Businesses going bust. Healthy adults who easily recover from Covid locked down for no reason. Families kept apart (while politicians partied...). This has to stop.

I work in mental health and the damage done to people's lives is incredible. Those are people who frankly are unlikely to be affected by the virus but whose health is being destroyed by the isolation and the hopelessness.

Plus we all know that the so called elite such as politicians and their mates have been bending the rules and making money out of the pandemic all along while the plebs were scared into giving up everything.

Excellent post electra my mental health has suffered massively since covid and I know longer feel I'm the same person.
I have a 13 year old who spent her last 2 birthdays in lockdown and unable to celebrate them. Her milestone turning a teenager 13th was especially hard for her. she says mum it is OK for you because you grew up in a different time and was able to go out and have fun and enjoy being a carefree teenager. she honestly feels her life and future has been ruined and this is going to be the way it is forever now.
It is so sad to see your young teen feel this way.

JellyOnAPlatewithicecream · 19/12/2021 16:00

@applesapplesapples I agree

JellyOnAPlatewithicecream · 19/12/2021 16:03

Especially now we have a vaccine. I think they should be tougher on getting people to have the jabs (and / or bring in the covid pass). This is effecting all our lives so badly now. Driving is a pretty dangerous activity yet we get in our cars, put a seat belt on to protect ourselves and then go about our daily lives, assessing the risk and deciding to go ahead and drive anyway as it would be too disruptive not too.

HesterShaw1 · 19/12/2021 16:11

I agree.

And I have definitely not supported all the measures.Closed sports facilities and chained up parks for example. I'll never get over the senseless fucking lunacy.

It's getting to the stage where I literally couldn't give a single fuck about "safety". Yet it's become a baffling religion/cult.

I imagine some would bleat at me "You'd soon give a fuck if you had a heart attack/stroke/car accident" etc

Well, put it this way. I never used to feel like this

the80sweregreat · 19/12/2021 16:24

Every single elderly parent of mine received very patchy care from the NHS and didn't come out alive.
I'm glad we have it and I'm sure many of its staff are dedicated and absolutely brilliant, but many are not and I'm resigned to the fact it won't save me in my dotage either , especially not now.
I'm dreading getting old or ending up in one to be perfectly honest , it was creaking at the seams long ago and I've never voted conservative either ( but I know these would be same problems with any government in power to be honest)

VikingOnTheFridge · 19/12/2021 16:27

@HesterShaw1

I agree.

And I have definitely not supported all the measures.Closed sports facilities and chained up parks for example. I'll never get over the senseless fucking lunacy.

It's getting to the stage where I literally couldn't give a single fuck about "safety". Yet it's become a baffling religion/cult.

I imagine some would bleat at me "You'd soon give a fuck if you had a heart attack/stroke/car accident" etc

Well, put it this way. I never used to feel like this

The playgrounds being locked was particularly revolting and inexcusable.
NELLIESINTHEKNOW · 19/12/2021 18:15

I totally agree. Its damaged both of my eldests lives and caused dd1 to suffer even more, as she no longer could see friends which affected her massively, given she is still suffering anxiety and delayed ptsd, it caused her to ditch her plans to stay at college and go to uni as she would have been starting uni the year it all started, the whole thing put her off.
My DS1 now hates his job and is depressed, i dont think the young were thought of much in all this at all. We are going to have a huge mental.health pandemic if this keeps going, every time a new varient pops up we cant just panic. At some point we have to live with it. This isnt living atm, its barely existing. Every day more doom and gloom, im so fed up, some days i dont even make it out of bed.

CruCru · 19/12/2021 19:52

OP, I think you’ve put it very well. I hit a wall earlier this week - not because any massive thing has happened but because of a series of small disappointments against a backdrop of gloom from the news. I’m privileged in so many ways and my children are great (if disappointed) but this isn’t what I’d expected for them.

fetchacloth · 19/12/2021 21:16

It feels like all the little things that make life joyful have been taken away from us.

This sums it up exactly for me and, now my parter has passed away, nothing to look forward to either. Sad

VikingOnTheFridge · 19/12/2021 21:23

@fetchacloth

It feels like all the little things that make life joyful have been taken away from us.

This sums it up exactly for me and, now my parter has passed away, nothing to look forward to either. Sad

So sorry to hear that.
TerraNovaTwo · 19/12/2021 21:35

No more fucking lockdowns!

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