Someone somewhere needs to articulate the lost quality of life

[Gguin]

Firstly, I am not saying I think there shouldn't be restrictions as needed, masks, reduced social contact. I do. Just to reemphasise that, to prevent people misreading the title, I support and abide and have abided by restrictions, both statutory and advised.
I also hated every single second of the lockdown. I hated what it did to friends. I hated the disregard of single people. I hated the criminalisation of social lives. I hated the lost opportunities for young and not so young people to build or change their lives. I hated the paranoia and judgmentalism. I hated the NHS worship and everyone else can go hang.
And yes I hate this feeling, somewhere between anxiety, depression and a grinding underlying fear of future regret on all that has been lost. I drove past a pub in rural Ireland where I live today and it was shut, boarded up and probably will never reopen. The sign "craic agus ceoil" (laughter and music) was worn and frayed, like a relic of the times when we were able to enjoy themselves with abandon.
All I would like as the latest chapter of shit unfolds is for someone, somewhere to actually articulate the sadness of all the lost opportunities. The friends that have never been made, the months and years spent indoors, the catastrophic toll on mental health and above all this awful feeling that the many of the very things that make life worth living are so expendable and in some quarters, not even mourned.

Everything you said resonated completely OP. My heart breaks reading people’s stories of the past 2 years.

Had a little cry on the sofa earlier wondering if every Christmas is going to be fraught with stress and anxiety. I’ve been having counselling since March last year to deal with the effects of lockdown (amongst other things) and now I feel like I’ve undone all the progress I’ve made. I’m trying to make the best of things for my DD and DH and count my blessings, but I’m so fucking exhausted.

Thanks all, and everyone who's shared things on this thread. There's a lot of comfort knowing you're not alone.

@Ginger1982

It's the 10 day mandatory isolation that is the killer. There must be a review of this due in a vaccinated population. Here in Scotland, everyone in a house has to currently isolate if anyone is positive. It's shit. Trying to keep an exuberant 4 year old entertained whilst trying to work is awful. I think it's worse when it happens now as, during lockdown, you know nobody was getting to do anything, but my son has had 2 lockdown birthdays already and missed his first nativity, Christmas party etc. Folk say, 'oh you'll have years of nativities to go to.'

Well, will I? Or will this be life now forever?

I agree. And because of that, we won't be doing PCRs. We might do LFTs and we will certainly lie low while unwell so as not to share the germs. But we will go out and about again when we feel better. We have to start treating it as endemic and stop shutting everything down for what has shrunk to, pretty much, a bad cold or a bout of flu.

I know I’ll get flamed for saying this, but is this suffering really worth it?
To protect a minority of the population? Surely we should be thinking of the greater good?
We’re now in a situation where there’s no end in sight.
The vast majority of the population won’t die from it. Surely there has to be a turning point and someone will have to make the decision that we can’t beat this virus and we should stop running from it.
I can’t see how bankrupting business and killing entire industries can be worth it.

@Hearwego I agree with you

@hearwego - are you going to be the one who decides who gets medical treatment and who doesn’t?

And as I said on another thread, what if this happens every November: December time?
Is this how Christmas will be from on? Will Xmas parties and nativity plays be gone forever?
No more office parties ? No more carol singers? The whole spirit of Christmas has fucking died and it’s fucking awful.

@brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I liked lockdown. The peace & quiet. No obligations to have to go out and see people. Blissfully calm times.

Did you know you can do this without a lock down?

If you don't want to see people,
Don't 🤷‍♀️

I couldn't live like it but if that's what you want then that's up to you

@hearwego - are you going to be the one who decides who gets medical treatment and who doesn’t?

I’m just saying that surely anyone with logic can see we can’t keep shutting down every December because of a new variant.
I don’t have the answers but I know we can’t keep crippling businesses at the busiest time of year.
I heard on the radio this week endless business people saying how they were going to have to call it a day. They have nothing left.

It's not easy, but the alternative would be worse

**brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
I liked lockdown. The peace & quiet. No obligations to have to go out and see people. Blissfully calm times.

Good for you. I feel for the people who lost everything, homes, jobs etc.
Not to mention the people who suffered domestic abuse. People who couldn’t escape
Not everyone has a blissful, quiet life in nice middle class suburbia.

[quote FFSFFSFFS]@hearwego - are you going to be the one who decides who gets medical treatment and who doesn’t?[/quote]
@FFSFFSFFS and how do you propose we pay for even a basic NHS if we allow livelihoods, the economy and consequently the public purse to fail?

@Hearwego

I know I’ll get flamed for saying this, but is this suffering really worth it? To protect a minority of the population? Surely we should be thinking of the greater good? We’re now in a situation where there’s no end in sight. The vast majority of the population won’t die from it. Surely there has to be a turning point and someone will have to make the decision that we can’t beat this virus and we should stop running from it. I can’t see how bankrupting business and killing entire industries can be worth it.

Totally agree

@Hearwego

I know I’ll get flamed for saying this, but is this suffering really worth it? To protect a minority of the population? Surely we should be thinking of the greater good? We’re now in a situation where there’s no end in sight. The vast majority of the population won’t die from it. Surely there has to be a turning point and someone will have to make the decision that we can’t beat this virus and we should stop running from it. I can’t see how bankrupting business and killing entire industries can be worth it.

I agree You aren't alone

@Hearwego

I know I’ll get flamed for saying this, but is this suffering really worth it? To protect a minority of the population? Surely we should be thinking of the greater good? We’re now in a situation where there’s no end in sight. The vast majority of the population won’t die from it. Surely there has to be a turning point and someone will have to make the decision that we can’t beat this virus and we should stop running from it. I can’t see how bankrupting business and killing entire industries can be worth it.

I've been on immunosuppressant drugs for ten years, on and off. I'm one of the vulnerable people you are talking about.

We are a minority, but a large one - there are millions of immunosuppressed people in the UK, the majority of whom had 'normal' lives pre Covid. Most of us are not old, or frail, or at death's door.

However. I'm not comfortable with society locking down to protect me. What I'd prefer is everyone got on with their lives (and doing the things I miss so much), with financial and practical support for those of us who can't do the things we wish we could do right now. It'd be far cheaper and less disruptive than a full lockdown, too.

Please don't write us off 'for the greater good'. There is a sensible, middle way. I don't want anyone to sacrifice any more than they already have, and there would be no need to if there was proper support in place for the CEV.

@Hearwego

**brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I liked lockdown. The peace & quiet. No obligations to have to go out and see people. Blissfully calm times.

Good for you. I feel for the people who lost everything, homes, jobs etc.
Not to mention the people who suffered domestic abuse. People who couldn’t escape
Not everyone has a blissful, quiet life in nice middle class suburbia.

This ^

These smug people who loved lockdown actually really piss me off tbh

@Frederica852

You've just put into words everything I've felt since this all started but couldn't work out how to explain Thank you

Yes this. 100% this. I have so much sadness I am lucky that we haven't lost anyone we love to the disease But gosh I am so sad for all the missed opportunities

[quote FFSFFSFFS]@hearwego - are you going to be the one who decides who gets medical treatment and who doesn’t?[/quote]
No I would suggest the decision is made by medical experts just as they currently do, for example at a major trauma scene ranking and prioritising patients into; unlikely to survive, will survive if given urgent care, will survive but care can wait a bit, will survive, nothing much wrong with them but making a lot of noise / whinging.

So I would say that unless @Hearwego is such a medical expert then she is not the decision maker unless of course you have an alternative approach?

These smug people who loved lockdown actually really piss me off tbh

Why am I smug? Why is my truth any less valid than yours? I said I was lucky that we had a good lockdown. I haven't said everyone should feel the same; I don't agree with the other poster who said it's a matter of perspective or attitude. I'm not smug.

@TheVampiresWife

However. I'm not comfortable with society locking down to protect me. What I'd prefer is everyone got on with their lives (and doing the things I miss so much), with financial and practical support for those of us who can't do the things we wish we could do right now. It'd be far cheaper and less disruptive than a full lockdown, too.

++++

A sensible approach and one that was suggested at the start of the pandemic. Aside from being less disruptive and damaging to the rest of society, it would have prevented the educational impact, mental health, job losses and massive cost.

As for the financial support to the vulnerable it would be a tiny fraction compared to what has been spent so far. Let's face it track and trace cost £37 billion and you could get a heck of a lot of support for the vulnerable for that kind of money.

**I've been on immunosuppressant drugs for ten years, on and off. I'm one of the vulnerable people you are talking about.

We are a minority, but a large one - there are millions of immunosuppressed people in the UK, the majority of whom had 'normal' lives pre Covid. Most of us are not old, or frail, or at death's door.

However. I'm not comfortable with society locking down to protect me. What I'd prefer is everyone got on with their lives (and doing the things I miss so much), with financial and practical support for those of us who can't do the things we wish we could do right now. It'd be far cheaper and less disruptive than a full lockdown, too.

Please don't write us off 'for the greater good'. There is a sensible, middle way. I don't want anyone to sacrifice any more than they already have, and there would be no need to if there was proper support in place for the CEV.

Totally agree that vulnerable people should be protected financially. There could surely be a practical way to protect more vulnerable people?
We need people in work to pay for the NHS and sustain it.
Shutting down industries like hospitality, surely starves the NHS of money? We need people to earn money and pay tax.
I’d certainly never like to write anyone off- I just don’t think locking down every time there’s a variant can be a long term solution.

Thank you for this OP and everyone who has contributed.

It’s desperately, desperately sad. All the missed opportunities, the expectation that we should be satisfied to exist without joy in our lives, the feeling that we are becoming conditioned to accept this half-life.

No I would suggest the decision is made by medical experts just as they currently do, for example at a major trauma scene ranking and prioritising patients into; unlikely to survive, will survive if given urgent care, will survive but care can wait a bit, will survive, nothing much wrong with them but making a lot of noise / whinging.

But if all your resources are taken up treating covid patients, there are no resources left to make decisions about. So your options are either reduce the number of COVID patients in hospital, or risk running out of resources for other patients. And I include staff as a resource. We can't magic resources, even with unlimited funds. It's a very difficult decision as to how we manage allocation, and I don't envy those who have to make it.

It just feel like life is in limbo. Things are open but with restrictions. Things are not the same.
I hate seeing all these horrible yellow warning signs everywhere and mask signs.
It sometimes feels like I’m in some sort of parallel universe.
I just don’t know. I just feel like a sheep who follows orders by the government.

@HaaaaaveyoumetTed

Why am I smug? Why is my truth any less valid than yours?

++++

I am not disputing that "your truth" is valid or not. The question is on smugness and whether exalting on your positive experience of lock down may appear smug to those that very clearly didn't

Imagine walking out of a restaurant and saying to a homeless person "wow I've had the most wonderful three course meal and it only cost £200, so how was your evening?" What you would have said maybe "your truth" but it can also appear smug and inappropriate.

However sayin