Page 3 | Difference in opinion - do I go on this date?

Original poster

NowWhatUsernameShallIHave · 30/11/2021 06:07

Other people’s reactions have been very different

OP posts:

Darkpheonix · 30/11/2021 06:13

[quote NowWhatUsernameShallIHave]@Darkpheonix
Trying not to be too outing
I have a lot of scarring in one part of my body plus a visible appliance fitted to compensate for that part of the body not working
Plus I need regular invasive treatment[/quote]
And you have shared all this with him?

Have you shared alot of personal information?

I feel you may have got into, to deep and to quick with someone you don't really know and shared alot of personal information, now feel hurt.

Look after yourself and guard yourself more. There's alot of people that go for vulnerable people, for their own gain.

That's not to say you won't find someone who does accept you for who you are. But you will be able to separate the 2 groups far better, if you dont share too much or too soon.

GnomeyGnome · 30/11/2021 06:18

You're settling. Overlooking a very big flaw in him because he's one of the first to "accept" you as you are, so a part of you feels like you should just accept him as he is, conspiracy theories and all. Ultimately you have to decide whether this is something that you could completely look past, personally I couldn't. The anti Vax is one thing (massive no-no for me but others would be ok with) but denying an absolute truth, a scientifically proven disease that has killed so many, is just bonkers to me.

You have scars, you have a story to tell. You will find the right person to share them with. Don't lower your standards because you think you deserve less.

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 30/11/2021 06:19

Thinking covid is fake would put me right off

Sparklfairy · 30/11/2021 06:26

He’s either deeply stupid, or mentally ill. No other option exists.

This is ridiculous. I'm double jabbed, as is everyone I know, but if a relative had had the jab and died shortly afterwards it would definitely shake me a bit!

I've met a man online dating who really was an anti covid anti vaxxer. He sneered at me (had had the first jab), screwed up his face and had what he thought was a very restrained rant about government control. The sharp, funny, witty man I thought I was meeting was actually a manchild trying to be edgy and rebellious as he edged towards middle age

If this man is respectful, I don't see the problem. You can still spread it if vaxxed, the thought that we can go around as a separated society not mixing with people who are not the same vaccine status as us forever is frankly ludicrous.

I understand you're vulnerable, and its your choice to make. If you picked a nice day (good luck!) and met outside with conditions you felt comfortable with, you could see how it goes.

KatherineJaneway · 30/11/2021 06:29

The instant he said anti vaccine I'd have ceased contact. Others might not care but I couldn't date someone with these views.

Darkpheonix · 30/11/2021 06:35

I'm double jabbed, as is everyone I know, but if a relative had had the jab and died shortly afterwards it would definitely shake me a bit!

But what evidence does he have that this happened?

Did the uncle die then he decided covid was a hoax? In which case his grief is, probably, causing him to believe it doesn't exist. There's a huge leap between "I think the vaccine is unsafe" and "Covid isn't real". That would suggest he isn't thinking straight.

If he has always believed it is a hoax, what are the chances that the he believed this all along and the vaccine happened to cause his Uncles death? Huge coincidence, dont you think? So big, it suggests he is a liar. Or so far down the rabbit hole he is making connections where there are non. Not exactly stable either.

Lonelycrab · 30/11/2021 06:41

I’ve just had similar. Couple dates, good superficial connection but it had been niggling me the anti vaccine/conspiracy angle.

Then on date three I got global warming doesn’t exist don’t you know.

Bye.

TulipsGarden · 30/11/2021 06:46

Even if his uncle did die from the vaccine, it doesn't follow that he has to be anti-vax or more importantly, believe Covid is a hoax. He could be understandably wary but request a different vaccine, or be personally concerned but still understand that Covid is a horrible virus which has killed so many people and on a population level the vaccines are safer than Covid.

I would absolutely not date this man. If he were anti-MMR would you date him?

Sparklfairy · 30/11/2021 06:53

@Darkpheonix I don't know, but presumably the uncle had the vaccine quite early on in the rollout. I think there was uncertainty which has mostly lessened among the general population as time has gone on, but I can understand why someone would think they're not taking the chance with their own vaccine having correlated the vaccine with their uncle dying, rightly or wrongly.

The covid is fake thing is a step too far though. My nan died last year, in her 90s and in ill health, covid is on her death cert. One of my uncles went apeshit and is still fighting to get it taken off, no idea why other than denial. It happens.

I started a thread months ago as I was dating and felt that vaccine status was yet another minefield to navigate as opinions could be strong and divided people. In the end its a choice we all make, and there are consequences to either choice. I don't mind dating someone who isn't vaxxed personally, I do mind if that person has to ram that viewpoint down my throat or sneer at me for thinking differently. Thats my line, OPs is probably and should be different because she is vulnerable. A covid is fake stance means he could be careless with masks and handwashing, or it could be a "its just a virus like flu and I'll take my chances due to my age and general good health".

thepeopleversuswork · 30/11/2021 07:04

God no.

But tbh OP you sound worryingly desperate to be in a relationship for the sake of it.

What makes you think that being with someone who is either thick as pigshit or paranoid is better than being on your own.

You don’t sound ready for a relationship to me.

Darkpheonix · 30/11/2021 07:05

[quote Sparklfairy]@Darkpheonix I don't know, but presumably the uncle had the vaccine quite early on in the rollout. I think there was uncertainty which has mostly lessened among the general population as time has gone on, but I can understand why someone would think they're not taking the chance with their own vaccine having correlated the vaccine with their uncle dying, rightly or wrongly.

The covid is fake thing is a step too far though. My nan died last year, in her 90s and in ill health, covid is on her death cert. One of my uncles went apeshit and is still fighting to get it taken off, no idea why other than denial. It happens.

I started a thread months ago as I was dating and felt that vaccine status was yet another minefield to navigate as opinions could be strong and divided people. In the end its a choice we all make, and there are consequences to either choice. I don't mind dating someone who isn't vaxxed personally, I do mind if that person has to ram that viewpoint down my throat or sneer at me for thinking differently. Thats my line, OPs is probably and should be different because she is vulnerable. A covid is fake stance means he could be careless with masks and handwashing, or it could be a "its just a virus like flu and I'll take my chances due to my age and general good health".[/quote]
But that's my point. He doesn't just feel the vaccine is unsafe or pointless.

As you say, It is a step to far and suggests someone deeply disturbed and/or, potentially, mentally ill.

Discussing people who are concerned the vaccine is unsafe, is irrelevant here.

There's absolutely no logical reason that someone dying of a reaction to the vaccine would lead to theory of covid being fake.

pinkfondu · 30/11/2021 07:07

Op I get that you have been waiting for so long, but this man is not going to help protect you in your vulnerable status. Do not compromise on your health.

Original poster

NowWhatUsernameShallIHave · 30/11/2021 07:27

@thepeopleversuswork
I’m not desperate at all

Apart from this issue we have a lot in common and make each other laugh

I’m not asking for opinions on my readiness to date

OP posts:

RockinHorseShit · 30/11/2021 07:42

I have friends in this camp, long time once close friends who have lost the friggin plot & spout all kinds of crap such as the vaccine is spreading the virus & any death mentioned in the papers as "unknown cause" or "mystery illness" & the frothing at the mouth over unvaccinated lockdowns, yet calling for lockdown of all CV/CEV people, of which I DD & DF & several close friends fall. They also promote this shot on social media to "raise awareness" & genuinely believe the rest of us are "Sheeple" walking into it blindly & they know better because they are special.

I'm struggling to stay friends with them & that's after 40 years, trying hard to remember it's a fear response, though not sure I can ever see them in the same light again or forget the nastiness. It's been a real eye opener

There's no way in hell I could date one. One thing I'm realising is that the sort of selfish assed mental leaps it takes to be a covid denying antivaxxer, doesn't make for a good caring partner

RockinHorseShit · 30/11/2021 07:43

Oops, lost text

"& any death mentioned in the papers as "unknown cause" or "mystery illness"" is a vaccine death 🤦‍♀️

Kylee300 · 30/11/2021 07:48

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for privacy reasons.

CrunchyCarrot · 30/11/2021 07:51

It would worry me as I'd wonder what other rabbit holes he might have gone down, and after the first glow of a new relationship passes, you'll have to deal with that. By all means, if you enjoy his company just keep him as a friend, but I'd be wary of getting involved romantically.

thepeopleversuswork · 30/11/2021 08:38

[quote NowWhatUsernameShallIHave]@thepeopleversuswork
I’m not desperate at all

Apart from this issue we have a lot in common and make each other laugh

I’m not asking for opinions on my readiness to date[/quote]
Fair enough but to be honest if you are willing to date someone this stupid you are by definition desperate.

I don’t know anything about you but I guarantee you deserve better than an antivaxxer. Why would you do that to yourself?

Original poster

NowWhatUsernameShallIHave · 30/11/2021 08:56

Like I said I know what the right thing to do is

OP posts:

ZenNudist · 30/11/2021 08:56

No. Avoid the tosser.

TheNoonBell · 30/11/2021 08:57

He doesn't sound like an anti vaxer, he sounds like someone who respects freedom of choice and doesn't like coercion.

Probably a nice bloke. Go for it.

RockinHorseShit · 30/11/2021 09:24

What OP are you reading @TheNoonBell

Except for the fact that he is a staunch anti Vaxxer and thinks COVID is fake. He said his uncle died from the vaccine.

Sounds like rabid covid conspiracy nutter to me, they always have a friend, uncle, aunt etc who has "died of the vaccine" one friend even dug up his dead aunt I knew she'd died 10 years earlier just to kill her off with the vaccine. Another had a good friend who went blind due to the vaccine... funny that there's only one person in the world that happened to & they made a full recovery & it sounded like migraines anyway, chances of this friend genuinely knowing them were nil

larkstar · 30/11/2021 09:31

No. This will probably just be the tip of the iceberg.

Dbank · 30/11/2021 09:38

Pass on this one.