Clearly ill person sat next to me.

[Calee03]

Took Dd to a birthday party. Half the kids cough were coughing and snotty. Part of the package I guess 🤢 I didn't let Dd go to a birthday party last week even after she had a negative pcr. She was clearly ill with cough and cold so didn't think it was right, she's fine now though.. But I feel like I'm the only one who feels the same regarding taking kids out when ill.

Anyway.. there was a dad there, didn't know him. Sat in a spare seat next to me. I realised he seemed quite clearly poorly. He coughed non stop, mainly into the air, he was sniffing, snorting, sneezing, rubbing his face and nose and grunting and moaning to himself - he just seemed ill, like he shouldn't be there. So I moved further away. I'm not saying I'm worried it's covid - that has crossed my mind of course - but even with a normal cold I find it quite selfish. He was there with a woman who was clearly his partner, why did he have to be there if the mum was there??

I'm just annoyed he sat next to me knowing he was ill tbh and I had to move! I wouldn't do this. Aibu? Am I just being ott??

I've been doing all of those things today because I'm moving and as I'm cleaning dust is in the air and it's making my allergies really bad. I'm not ill though🤷🏻‍♀️

YANBU, DH has picked up a rotten cold and he's got atrial fibrilation awaiting surgery. He's had a dreadful week with 2 days in bed and his heart rate has been alarming. All because someone was out and about with a stinking cold. He's cancelled all his face to face appointments because no one else wants it either.

It wasn't acceptable before Covid and it's still not.

I think it’s disgusting and I’d have moved

....or alternatively he may be like me; recovering from Covid, no longer contagious (one week post isolation) but with the dregs of symptoms that present as a cold and can drag on for weeks.

Did you talk to him? Ask him why he was not in bed? What kind of illness he was spreading?

If not, then you were clearly not that concerned.

Very selfish, I would have moved, also pre COVID, as I have an autoimmune disease and need to avoid colds on the advice of my Neurologist.

Unbelievably bad behaviour. He shouldn’t have been there. If he was the driver, he could stay in the car or the family don’t come out.

Was the partner definitely mom?

He could have an awkward ex who would give him hell/take him to court if the child missed out.

It could be that the child's mom has passed away and this was a dad trying to facilitate the relationship with her family still.

There are a million reasons he could've felt like he had to be there.

You could have moved away.

@CouldThisReallyBe

....or alternatively he may be like me; recovering from Covid, no longer contagious (one week post isolation) but with the dregs of symptoms that present as a cold and can drag on for weeks.

Regardless I think coughing into their air, sniffing and sneezing with no tissue is disgusting... you don't sit down next to someone and do that surely? 🤷‍♀️I just couldn't.

I hoped people might have more manners after this pandemic. Obviously not. Many SE Asian people (who are mostly so well mannered wear masks when they are not feeling well).

We should all be doing that at minimum. We should not be going in to work if we have a virus.

Recently I got on a packed train (me and others standing up in the vestibule) wearing a mask, everyone else wasn’t. You know when you inhale some of your saliva accidentally, it triggered a huge coughing fit that I simply couldn’t control. Obviously I turned into a corner, covered my mouth and nose, but the looks I got... they all put their masks on after that though lol

@Obsidiansphere

Yanbu, that’s unacceptable even BC (Before Covid)!

Agree !

I'd have walked away after the first snort. He shouldn't have been there if the child's other parent was also in attendance.

@girlmom21

Was the partner definitely mom?

He could have an awkward ex who would give him hell/take him to court if the child missed out.

It could be that the child's mom has passed away and this was a dad trying to facilitate the relationship with her family still.

There are a million reasons he could've felt like he had to be there.

You could have moved away.

Well I can only assume. They come in together. She was sat next one along. They were buying each other drinks and appeared to have a child together but who knows!

I did move away... as in op.

@Calee03 just because they were there together doesn't mean she's the child's mother. She could be step mom.
Which is my whole point.

@honeyytoast

Recently I got on a packed train (me and others standing up in the vestibule) wearing a mask, everyone else wasn’t. You know when you inhale some of your saliva accidentally, it triggered a huge coughing fit that I simply couldn’t control. Obviously I turned into a corner, covered my mouth and nose, but the looks I got... they all put their masks on after that though lol

This actually happens to me all the time regarding saliva 😅 but he was coughing non stop. I could still hear him coughing from further away.

I agree, its one thing to have a cold and another to seem pretty poorly and not bother to try and contain the germs.

If I were him and I really wanted to be there, I'd at the very least sit away from people and wear a mask.

That’s totally gross! Can’t stand people coughing all over others !

It’s never been ok and is utterly unpleasant and ill mannered to spread your cold around.. Wash your hands, wear a mask, don’t go into unventilated crowded places.

Yanbu, that’s unacceptable even BC (Before Covid)!

Absolutely - and now we are encouraged to wear masks - why didn't he just wear a mask, and not spray his awful germs all over everyone.

We need to adopt the south east Asian practice of masking up if we have a cold or cough - out of respect, consideration & politeness to others with whom we share spaces.

Nobody seems to care anymore all rules and considerations are out the window.
I'd hoped some of the changes implemented would stick even if covid had disappeared like coughing into a tissue or elbow, but not that lucky. 😉

@EmeraldShamrock

Nobody seems to care anymore all rules and considerations are out the window. I'd hoped some of the changes implemented would stick even if covid had disappeared like coughing into a tissue or elbow, but not that lucky. 😉

Even my children know to cough into their elbows.

But I totally agree. Imo it seems to be 'as long as it's not covid' at the minute. Covid is horrible obviously but I know parents who have sent their kids into school shortly after sickness or diarrhoea - simply because ''well it's not covid'!

Personally if he didn’t need to be there and it wasn’t his child’s party it is pretty selfish to spread germs around even if it’s “just” a cold . Whilst many if you might shrug off a cold in a few days My daughter is asthmatic and just a cold makes her cough for months , maybe requires extra strong meds , maybe makes her miss school. I think it’s pretty shitty to go somewhere you don’t need to be and pass something on . Jut because you can doesn’t mean you should . Even before Covid it’s a bit selfish. Sure she will come across colds at schooo but this is one interaction which just wasn’t needed . Also it could have been Covid . It would have been polite to not be there . I’m with OP on this one .

Perhaps he already promised his kid they could go and they had no other person to take them. However as a courtesy he should have worn a mask even if only a cold.