Clearly ill person sat next to me.

[Calee03]

Took Dd to a birthday party. Half the kids cough were coughing and snotty. Part of the package I guess 🤢 I didn't let Dd go to a birthday party last week even after she had a negative pcr. She was clearly ill with cough and cold so didn't think it was right, she's fine now though.. But I feel like I'm the only one who feels the same regarding taking kids out when ill.

Anyway.. there was a dad there, didn't know him. Sat in a spare seat next to me. I realised he seemed quite clearly poorly. He coughed non stop, mainly into the air, he was sniffing, snorting, sneezing, rubbing his face and nose and grunting and moaning to himself - he just seemed ill, like he shouldn't be there. So I moved further away. I'm not saying I'm worried it's covid - that has crossed my mind of course - but even with a normal cold I find it quite selfish. He was there with a woman who was clearly his partner, why did he have to be there if the mum was there??

I'm just annoyed he sat next to me knowing he was ill tbh and I had to move! I wouldn't do this. Aibu? Am I just being ott??

I’d assume he’d had a negative PCR.

Why?

If he didn't have the intelligence or manners to wear a mask, I'd assume he would't have bothered doing a PCR test either...

@CouldThisReallyBe

....or alternatively he may be like me; recovering from Covid, no longer contagious (one week post isolation) but with the dregs of symptoms that present as a cold and can drag on for weeks.

But would you cough into the air over and over while sitting right next to someone? Even with just a common cold, I wouldn't do that. It's just basic respect for others.

Nah. You just have to learn to live with colds.

Apparently that means taking absolutely no personal responsibility to stop ot spreading to others.

@Thisisconfusing

Personally if he didn’t need to be there and it wasn’t his child’s party it is pretty selfish to spread germs around even if it’s “just” a cold . Whilst many if you might shrug off a cold in a few days My daughter is asthmatic and just a cold makes her cough for months , maybe requires extra strong meds , maybe makes her miss school. I think it’s pretty shitty to go somewhere you don’t need to be and pass something on . Jut because you can doesn’t mean you should . Even before Covid it’s a bit selfish. Sure she will come across colds at schooo but this is one interaction which just wasn’t needed . Also it could have been Covid . It would have been polite to not be there . I’m with OP on this one .

My own Ds is like this too. He's not diagnosed as asthmatic but has been particularly prone to bad chests and coughs. He had an inhaler when he as younger and was often on antibiotics or steroids. He's a little older now and it has got better but if he was to catch a cold, he would be coughing for weeks. So I do understand that coughs can last for ages even past the contagious stage but this guy was clearly ill, it wasn't just an annoying cough! If it was the cough alone, I probably wouldn't have thought much of it - but it was the sniffing, sneezing, snorting and moaning to himself with it.

I was like this for almost 4 weeks.

I had a couple days off work and stayed home and then I had no choice but to carry on as normal.

If there were two parents I wonder if his symptoms had come on recently.
I felt rough for a few days with no symptoms and then all of a sudden had a cough, cold and sore throat.

Very selfish, imo. If the woman was the child's mother, she could have gone alone. Otherwise, he could have dropped her off and picked her up at the end. (That's what parents always did, anyway, back when I was a child. I don't remember any adults hanging around for the party, unless they were aunts/uncles/grandparents of the birthday child.)

There's no need to spread your germs! Even "just" a cold is utterly miserable, reduces productivity, and sometimes hangs around for a few weeks.

@WonderfulYou

I was like this for almost 4 weeks.

I had a couple days off work and stayed home and then I had no choice but to carry on as normal.

If there were two parents I wonder if his symptoms had come on recently.
I felt rough for a few days with no symptoms and then all of a sudden had a cough, cold and sore throat.

I'm sure you would have made an effort to contain it though? Like coughing into elbow or sneezing into a tissue? Not sitting right next to a complete stranger and spluttering everywhere.

It’s really sad that we haven’t learnt to stay at home or away from people when we’re ill.
My colleague at work was telling me a story of a group of friends where one husband was saying his cough was a cold, was sat there sniffing and coughing. He had Covid and of the six people at the restaurant he passed it on to four others. Not sure about the restaurant staff

Was going to say the same thing!

YANBU. We've already decided at work that, post-Covid, we will wear masks when coming in ill.

Surely people staying at home till they're better would be preferable. I wish that could become the norm. YABU it was selfish of him.

A man walked past me recently on his phone saying 'I've still got Covid but I'm feeling a lot better"

@RockNRollMartian

Very selfish, imo. If the woman was the child's mother, she could have gone alone. Otherwise, he could have dropped her off and picked her up at the end. (That's what parents always did, anyway, back when I was a child. I don't remember any adults hanging around for the party, unless they were aunts/uncles/grandparents of the birthday child.)

There's no need to spread your germs! Even "just" a cold is utterly miserable, reduces productivity, and sometimes hangs around for a few weeks.

Haha yes regarding the parents thing. I was always dropped off at parties as a young child and left there. Not the norm so much these days. Admittedly there child was pretty young maybe 2-3 ish so couldn't be left alone and obviously I was staying with Dd - she is 6 but has sen and it's family fiends rather than school friends today so she didn't know a great deal of people!

But that's British culture, right? To be expected? Let the virus rip though? Nothing surprise me anymore.

Just to put another thought out there…. Many many chronic conditions cause coughs, lung cancer, COPD, asthma etc should people with chronic coughs be expected to miss out on things incase somebody mistakenly believes they are unwell with a infective illness? Or should then have to explain their private medical conditions to strangers incase they are worried? Or course I’m not saying this was the case with this man, I have no way of knowing… just like you have no way of knowing…

I think it’s very dangerous to start making assumptions about people’s medical history.

I think we're relearning sine basic etiquette. It might only be a cord, but this event was optional, not mandatory-can't-call-in-sick work. Similarly I wish people would protect me from their colds on public transport. I don't want to be ill.

God how to some of you people get through a day?

Just move, no drama, you said yourself there were plenty of empty spaces.

So get off your ass and sit somewhere else, problem solved and no need for this purity spiral.

It's (I'm assuming) Britain in winter, colds everywhere.

Honestly, get a life

@MotherOfDragon20

Just to put another thought out there…. Many many chronic conditions cause coughs, lung cancer, COPD, asthma etc should people with chronic coughs be expected to miss out on things incase somebody mistakenly believes they are unwell with a infective illness? Or should then have to explain their private medical conditions to strangers incase they are worried? Or course I’m not saying this was the case with this man, I have no way of knowing… just like you have no way of knowing…

I think it’s very dangerous to start making assumptions about people’s medical history.

Do they stop you covering your hand or nose when you cough/sneeze?

@rainrainraincamedowndowndown

But that's British culture, right? To be expected? Let the virus rip though? Nothing surprise me anymore.

Unfortunately so 😢 I feel like many people care about nothing but themselves!

Not just with covid either. Many years ago Ds had chicken pox. Mil said she would pick him up and drive him a few miles to McDonald's drive thru - no contact with anyone so ideal. But the silly woman took him into busy McDonald's with chickenpox! Chicken pox is so dangerous to some people. I was mortified.

I would be irritated with that too. It's just bad manners. Sure there are circumstances where its unavoidable but that isn't one.

Like the maskless people who get onto a near-empty tube carriages and sit right next to you. There's a special place in hell for them.

@Sayke

God how to some of you people get through a day?

Just move, no drama, you said yourself there were plenty of empty spaces.

So get off your ass and sit somewhere else, problem solved and no need for this purity spiral.

It's (I'm assuming) Britain in winter, colds everywhere.

Honestly, get a life

I had no issue with moving but why had had to sit next to me was beyond me.

Yes colds are everywhere but most of us know basic respiratory hygiene.

@Calee03
So you experienced a mild inconvenience of having to move?

And I bet you tutted while doing it too

All while knowing nothing about him or his circumstances

Sorry, YABU

I just can't believe that even with covid, people still think it's acceptable to be out in public while visibly sick. People who do this should honestly be told to go home and stop spreading their germs. I think the attitude to hygiene in this country is really dire, honestly.

@dabbydeedoo

I just can't believe that even with covid, people still think it's acceptable to be out in public while visibly sick. People who do this should honestly be told to go home and stop spreading their germs. I think the attitude to hygiene in this country is really dire, honestly.

It's Britain in the winter FFS, if we all stayed at home when we got a sniffle everything would grind to a halt.

Resilience people, it's a thing...

[quote Sayke]@Calee03
So you experienced a mild inconvenience of having to move?

And I bet you tutted while doing it too

All while knowing nothing about him or his circumstances

Sorry, YABU[/quote]
I agree it was a minor inconvenience. I was actually sat next to someone I know - with a table gap between us chatting. Mr can't cough into elbow sat next to me despite the other chairs available. So yes it was a little annoying. No, I don't know his circumstances but I know he is disgusting for coughing into their air.

All while knowing nothing about him or his circumstances

Are there many circumstances that stop people covering their mouth when they cough?

@Prokupatuscrakedatus

Did you talk to him? Ask him why he was not in bed? What kind of illness he was spreading?

If not, then you were clearly not that concerned.

Have you been out and about lately? I can only imagine the verbal abuse and possibly threatening behaviour so many people face these days be voicing perfectly reasonable questions/concerns...