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Original poster

If your child tests positive who are you telling?

46 replies

MuchAdoAbout · 01/10/2021 18:01

Just that really.

My dd could only have gotten it from school. DH isn't going anywhere, I am negative. Schools don't inform parents anymore. There are no bubbles it all a free for all. Test and trace said give me the names of school friend close contacts so we can do it, or do it yourself. I feel uncomfortable handing over propels details to test and trace.

I would be happy to let people know myself but this news may cause people to test and as I suspect most of the year group is positive, result in some cancelled bday parties (one planned for Sunday). The other few kids we know from the year who are positive aren't telling anyone at school. In case there's a lot of finger pointing and blaming.

I am struggling. My gut instinct is to let DDs very close contact know. What would you do?

OP posts:
Sanch1 · 01/10/2021 18:11

I would inform the school, so they can identify any close contacts e.g teachers/staff and contact her friend close contacts yourself presuming you have their parents contact details. I wouldn't just let your DD do the informing because if her friends are anything like my kids they may not pass the info on to their parents.

ChillingReign · 01/10/2021 18:12

I just told the school. T&T asked where ds got it from and I said school but they didn't ask for any friends details or anything like that

duffeldaisy · 01/10/2021 18:15

Isn't it better that parties do get cancelled, rather than them ending up in being spreader events?
I'd definitely tell parents of anyone who might be affected who I have the details for, and then they can decide what they want to do. They might do nothing apart from rearrange a meetup with vulnerable grandparents or something, but they get to then decide if they need to protect anyone.

Original poster
MuchAdoAbout · 01/10/2021 18:15

We've told the school but nothing happens as a result! I feel we should tell the close contacts but it's year 1 and realistically she could have a lot of close contacts 😬

OP posts:
TheGrumpyGoat · 01/10/2021 18:17

I would tell the people I know mine have been in close contact with. My child in year 1 plays with the same 3 children closely every day, so I would let them know.
Our school is still informing close contacts though, which they define as anyone sitting within 1.5m of the positive child.

ChristmasCovid · 01/10/2021 18:17

@Sanch1

I would inform the school, so they can identify any close contacts e.g teachers/staff and contact her friend close contacts yourself presuming you have their parents contact details. I wouldn't just let your DD do the informing because if her friends are anything like my kids they may not pass the info on to their parents.
Why don’t you want to give details to T&T they will contact them to give advise - they are not trying to sell them anything!

I presume that the contacts are under 18 so won’t have to isolate anyway - but T&T will advise them what to do & look out for.

MooPointCowsOpinion · 01/10/2021 18:18

Schools can’t now tell students they’re close contacts. Usually the students tell each other who is positive at my school (secondary) and that we have no control over. Parents get told nothing from school! We aren’t allowed!

TheGrumpyGoat · 01/10/2021 18:19

@MooPointCowsOpinion

Schools can’t now tell students they’re close contacts. Usually the students tell each other who is positive at my school (secondary) and that we have no control over. Parents get told nothing from school! We aren’t allowed!
Our school are telling people they’re close contacts. What law forbids them?
Original poster
MuchAdoAbout · 01/10/2021 18:20

I wish schools were still telling people. I support the no isolating part but this current system places too much responsibility on parents

OP posts:
YukoandHiro · 01/10/2021 18:21

I would let close contacts eg best friends at school and their families know. It's only fair so they can get a pcr test

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 01/10/2021 18:21

I told school, and the parents at Cubs (which was just out of the time period for official notification)

School had been woolingly announcing that there had been several cases, and any child showing any sign of any illness needed a test.

HalfShrunkMoreToGo · 01/10/2021 18:22

We had to get DD tested last week when she had a high temp, didn't think twice bout it, just sent a Facebook message to all the parents I knew in the class letting them know we had a possible case and to watch out for symptoms. As it turned out she was negative so I sent a stand down message but it seemed better to warn then leave it.

Original poster
MuchAdoAbout · 01/10/2021 18:22

What's confusing me slightly is that I told one non school close contact and they were outraged that I'd told them as now they have to test. Whereas if I'd not tested (asymptomatic) or told them, they wouldn't have.

OP posts:
Aroundtheworldin80moves · 01/10/2021 18:25

@MuchAdoAbout

What's confusing me slightly is that I told one non school close contact and they were outraged that I'd told them as now they have to test. Whereas if I'd not tested (asymptomatic) or told them, they wouldn't have.
Some people want to know, some people want to bury their heads in the sand.

Personally, knowledge is power because i had been trying to work out if it was safe to have my vulnerable DM visit for a few days. Good job she didn't really.

ChristmasCovid · 01/10/2021 18:26

@MuchAdoAbout

What's confusing me slightly is that I told one non school close contact and they were outraged that I'd told them as now they have to test. Whereas if I'd not tested (asymptomatic) or told them, they wouldn't have.
They don’t ‘have’ to have a test it’s recommended- if you’d given the details to T&T they would have informed them of that - so they could have been ‘outraged’ at them not you.
Original poster
MuchAdoAbout · 01/10/2021 18:28

Test and trace tell you if you are a close contact that you should have a test. And then they send you an email and a text every half hour until you complete a form. It really is an unpleasant and stressful process.

OP posts:
Covidworries · 01/10/2021 18:30

Personally, i would if it my child tell the school and post it on class what app group. I would text other parents i know from school who play with child.

Then i would tell family so they are aware and my work (they dont want us going to work if a household member is positive).

OneMoreForExtra · 01/10/2021 18:33

The genie is so far out of the bottle I can't help but think the vestiges of containment are pointless. Loads of people I know are neither testing nor telling. Removing the requirement for the rest of the household to isolate has gone some way to removing incentive to just not find out, but I suspect many people are so embattled they just get on with their lives. Mine both had it, I suspect, last July - school bubbles were closed anyway and testing would have meant self-employed DH losing another 2 weeks income, so we didn't. Not sure what I'd do now, probably test and tell, but I'm sure lots aren't.

ChristmasCovid · 01/10/2021 18:34

@MuchAdoAbout

Test and trace tell you if you are a close contact that you should have a test. And then they send you an email and a text every half hour until you complete a form. It really is an unpleasant and stressful process.
Recommend you get a test - you don’t have to.

If you complete the form they stop, they are only trying to get hold of you to gather the information they need.
They aren’t selling things - just trying to get in touch with your contacts to give them advise..
Or you can do their job for them like you have and have people outraged with you - I suppose it prevents somebody shouting at a T&T person for doing their best to do the job they have been asked to do in the middle of a pandemic.

Original poster
MuchAdoAbout · 01/10/2021 18:34

It's very obvious surely when my dd is off school for 10 days!

OP posts:
alphabetspagetti · 01/10/2021 18:36

I "announced" DD's positive result on the class WhatsApp. Whilst I know several of the parents, I don't know them all or all of their circumstances or who they might be planning on seeing in the next few days. The only responses I had were sympathy or messages thanking me for telling them as they were off to see a grandparent undergoing chemo and now would postpone it for a few days or similar.

RoseMartha · 01/10/2021 18:39

I would tell the school. Their dad. My extended family as we see them a lot.

My kids are teens and would probably put it in their SM status so that would cover all their contacts!!

seven201 · 01/10/2021 18:44

I'd tell the school (there'd then be an email to parents say there's a case in year 1, but not saying which class) and put it on the class whatsapp. I have a sister doing chemo, I'm doing ivf, I need to know if my family has been exposed so I can do extra tests or postpone visits etc. It's up to individuals what they do once told. Personally I think it's selfish to not alert people when you could do so easily.

Stokey · 01/10/2021 18:46

I did exactly the same @alphabetspagetti. I told the class What's App group and have Test & Trace the name is the people who'd been to our house in last 48 hours. When we got the positive PCR , I told the school who sent a letter out saying there was a positive test in Dd2's class.

Another friend of DD1 who are travels with had messaged a local parents what's App group earlier in the week to let them know her daughter was positive. I appreciated that as it meant I tested more regularly (& so caught it in my youngest).

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 01/10/2021 18:57

@MuchAdoAbout

I wish schools were still telling people. I support the no isolating part but this current system places too much responsibility on parents
Not really. No different than an adult giving their contacts.

By not giving them, it’s just allows spread and those with vulnerable family members can’t take any extra precautions etc.

If I found out I was a close contact and the person failed to tell me I would be very cross.