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Original poster

How do I manage visitors in this pandemic?

30 replies

Lullaby88 · 15/09/2021 19:44

I have a 5 month old baby and have visitors coming over. I recently told people not to visit as my baby did develop a mild cough but it wasn't anything serious. Iv kept it like that so people dont actually visit apart from grandparents.
But now I'm beginning to feel I dont want my husbands family to visit in particular. They come once a week and I get a great deal of anxiety as they bring the other grandkids too and they always cough etc. My concern is covid ofcourse not just common colds.
I know itl be very upsetting if I told my husband this. My MIL is also out and about in the gym work etc. I do feel concerned when she handles my kids.
I tell them all to clean their hands etc before entering.
I don't know how to handle this situation. Am I being a bit over the top?

OP posts:
Ttbhappy · 15/09/2021 19:52

I can understand that you are concerned as you have a brand new baby that you adore and obviously trying to keep everyone safe however you need to live life to the full and enjoy this special time and realising that having these people coming over to see your baby has so many advantages for you and your family just relax and try to see it. Socialising, creating strong immune system for your baby are just a few I can think of. If still concerned try talking to a professional therapist as it can really help and focuses you and your feelings.

User5827372728 · 15/09/2021 19:54

You can’t tell your husbands family they can’t visit.

SummerHouse · 15/09/2021 19:57

Totally understand but yes, over the top.

ParkheadParadise · 15/09/2021 19:57

I think that's over the top.
But everyone's different I don't think you can tell DH's family not to come over.

OliveTree75 · 15/09/2021 20:03

Over the top. You can't stop your DH's family visiting whilst still allowing yours.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 15/09/2021 20:03

Do you have spare cash?

Could you buy an outdoor summer house type thing and visit there? Kids can just run around the garden.

I remember being pregnant and exhausted ‘friends’ with children visited and were allowed to casually trash my home. It’s a piss take.

Why? Do the parents not see it?

Original poster
Lullaby88 · 15/09/2021 20:12

Hmm then how do I manage my concerns then? I literally disinfect things they've touched etc. I would much rather stay cocooned up at this stage till my baby is a bit older.
But yes it would be tough on my husband. Think he would argue with me about it.
My family don't really wonder about a lot like this hence I have more of a concern with his family. I feel on edge.
It disrupts my kids routines as they visit in the evening and want to put kids to bed. It's the only time they can come though. I really don't like it as I want to put my kids to bed. Am I being a total arse someone tell me? I'm just a concerned mum tbh. But I don't want to voice this to my husband until I get some opinions.

OP posts:
OliveTree75 · 15/09/2021 20:15

Do your other children go to school?

Original poster
Lullaby88 · 15/09/2021 20:15

@TheLightSideOfTheMoon I live in rainy England so a kids summer house is a far cry and I don't have the energy for all that.

@Ttbhappy the advantages u have listed have made me feel a bit positive about the situation thank you.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lullaby88 · 15/09/2021 20:16

@OliveTree75 yes one does

OP posts:
hairybakers · 15/09/2021 20:17

Over the top. And of course you don't have a problem with your family

OliveTree75 · 15/09/2021 20:19

[quote Lullaby88]@OliveTree75 yes one does[/quote]
I don't understand your logic then. You can't cacoon your baby from covid when their sibling is at school. They are more likely to catch to it from them than your MIL who has been to the gym. Tbh it sounds more like you just don't want them to visit (which I do understand,my in laws drive me nuts).

worriedatthemoment · 15/09/2021 20:19

If one is at school then they stand as much chance of bringing anything home than any one else
Yes ok to be worried but this seems a little more than that and if your dh family cannot come then you would have to say same to your family
Fair enough you could stipulate better times etc

Viviennemary · 15/09/2021 20:19

You are being over the top. But if you're worried tell your parents in law not to bring the other grandchildren and just to come by themselves.

RoseRedRoseBlue · 15/09/2021 20:19

Covid seems to be being used as a handy excuse here.....

User5827372728 · 15/09/2021 20:19

Well if you ask them to wash their hands when they arrive their hands are clean so you don’t need to clean things once they have left.

How to manage it: with the greatest of respect you may need some professional help, you may have postnatal anxiety, which can be all consuming.

You could share your fears with them, ask them to not wander around your house and to not come if feeling poorly

DigitalGhost · 15/09/2021 20:20

I had a DD during the first lockdown and honestly wish I didn't avoid my family. She's 16 month old now and literally catches every single illness going. My friends babies around the same age are the same they're playing catch up with their immune systems now.

OliveTree75 · 15/09/2021 20:21

@DigitalGhost

I had a DD during the first lockdown and honestly wish I didn't avoid my family. She's 16 month old now and literally catches every single illness going. My friends babies around the same age are the same they're playing catch up with their immune systems now.
Exactly the same for me. Also looking back I am gutted family and friends missed out on those first few weeks and months.
delilahbucket · 15/09/2021 20:24

You are not helping your child by stopping them seeing people. It's counter productive. They need to build up their own immune system. They also need to get used to people.

VanGoSunflowers · 15/09/2021 20:32

I think you’re being over the top OP.
If you disinfect everything and limit the number of interactions your baby has, you’re not doing their immune system much good that way either.

ISaidDontLickTheBin · 15/09/2021 20:34

@delilahbucket

You are not helping your child by stopping them seeing people. It's counter productive. They need to build up their own immune system. They also need to get used to people.
This is true. My 15 month old lockdown baby was recently hospitalised with bronchiolitis. It was terrifying - much more serious for babies than Covid. Hospital said they were seeing a lot more of it and in older babies due to them not mixing and getting any immunity.
Notonthestairs · 15/09/2021 20:47

If they are coming in the evening and it's inconvenient just invite when it is more convenient- Saturday morning/Sunday afternoon.

But sidelining one side of the family when they've done nothing wrong seems very harsh - particularly when you've given no indication as to when you'd think it would be resolved.

Children benefit from having a good relationship with both sides of their family wherever possible (and assuming there is no abuse, bullying etc).

PaperDolphin · 15/09/2021 21:03

In my opinion yes, you are being over the top. When will you stop worrying about Covid? I ask because we won't wake up one morning and it's all gone away, it will be circulating forever. So will you want to be this restricted forever?

110APiccadilly · 15/09/2021 21:07

@VanGoSunflowers

I think you’re being over the top OP. If you disinfect everything and limit the number of interactions your baby has, you’re not doing their immune system much good that way either.
This. I know it seems like the best thing to try and protect your baby from any infection going as much as possible, but it's really not. Children need some exposure to germs.
Bluntness100 · 15/09/2021 21:10

Hmm,,this is illogical, if it was Covid you’d be concerned about everyone inc one kid at school

Sounds like you just don’t like his family and don’t want them there.

It’s fine to say they can’t come. But then fairs fair op. Neither can yours.

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