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Original poster

Unvaccinated. Staying with friends.

110 replies

Tiredpanda · 27/07/2021 23:45

I have chosen for now, not to be vaccinated with covid vaccine (waiting for MRI to clarify if I have a problem with my heart as something was found).

My friend has asked me and my family to stay with them for a week. They are vaccinated except the children. My partner and son has had covid.

I think I'm over worrying but do you think I should tell them I'm not vaccinated? Surely they wouldn't ask us to stay without asking if we are vaccinated if they were concerned?!

I have friends who have chosen not to vaccinate and many who have had it. It doesn't bother me at all but I know it does bother some people.

OP posts:
QueenofKattegat · 28/07/2021 09:48

@BogRollBOGOF

It's not anyone's business. We've never gone around sharing our status over flu/ BCG/ meningitis vaccinations. It's not a good convention to start.
I completely agree with this.
Marmitemarinaded · 28/07/2021 09:50

@BogRollBOGOF

It's not anyone's business. We've never gone around sharing our status over flu/ BCG/ meningitis vaccinations. It's not a good convention to start.
Did the world go in to a lockdown for two years as a result of those conditions you list?

Nope.

Newbornandupwards · 28/07/2021 09:50

Tell them, do a test before you go if they still want you and get the vaccine.

oneglassandpuzzled · 28/07/2021 09:50

@RainbowMum11

The vaccination would protect you but won't stop you from spreading it. The intention is to reduce the impact of symptoms on you, but at the moment it won't protect others against you spreading the virus.
This is not correct. The vaccine does help reduce transmission. This has been officially stated many times, including on a recent BBC briefing by Valance and Whitty.
Bryonyshcmyony · 28/07/2021 09:50

Well it's kind of everyones business at the moment while self isolating and having to cancel things if test positive!

ShadowsInTheDarkness · 28/07/2021 09:51

You should tell them. I arranged to meet up with my sister recently assuming she was vaccinated. Turns out she isn't and doesn't plan to be so I've had a rethink. We would have been meeting up with DFIL on the same trip who is vulnerable and so I don't want to risk it.

Killahangilion · 28/07/2021 09:54

Maybe they've assumed you've been vaccinated?
I think you should tell them as they're your friends so presumably you care about them?

I'm not planning to meet or eat indoors for the foreseeable so I can't imagine staying over with anyone at all at this stage.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 28/07/2021 09:58

I just assume everyone I know is vaccinated why?

Porcupineintherough · 28/07/2021 09:59

I agree with a pp. If you think you might have a heart condition so serious that you cant be vaccinated (all the people with heart conditions I know were on the priority list for vaccines) do you really think its wise to go visiting?

Zippy1510 · 28/07/2021 10:02

I think most people assume you would be vaccinated. I would tell them. It should be their choice if they want to mix with someone more likely to be carrying higher loads of covid.

Bryonyshcmyony · 28/07/2021 10:03

My PILS both have pacemakers and dodgy tickers and they were vaccinated no problem

Marmitemarinaded · 28/07/2021 10:04

@OnlyFoolsnMothers

I just assume everyone I know is vaccinated why?
More than 46 million adults in Uk vaccinated. That was a week ago

So on balance of probabilities, fairly sensible assumption

Marmitemarinaded · 28/07/2021 10:06

@OnlyFoolsnMothers

I just assume everyone I know is vaccinated why?
90% of adults are
QuarantineQueen · 28/07/2021 10:11

It's your choice OP, but as someone with a heart condition (and likewise waiting for an MRI because they think that having covid last year has made the damage worse) it seems a very risky choice NOT to have the vaccine.
My cardiologist and GP were very clear that I should have the vaccines as soon as possible. Have you spoken to yours about this? I just can't think of any situation where a doctor would advise you not to have it (ie none of the different vaccines are suitable - I can see why they might recommend a particular one) because of a possible heart condition.

Bryonyshcmyony · 28/07/2021 10:16

My dad told me his gp had said he shouldn't get the vaccine as he'd had a blood clot in the past. Turns out that was bollocks he just didn't want to get it...

PrettyLittleFlies · 28/07/2021 10:30

@MaxNormal

This is utter nonsense. It is now well established that the vaccines reduce the risk of transmission

Last figures I saw quoted (the Guardian) puts the reduction at around 50%. So while you're half as likely to spread it, it's far from impossible and far from "utter nonsense".

Why do so many people on here have to go straight for the rudeness option?

Yes it was a very rude response. Some people have no clue how to converse.
GrassIsRiz · 28/07/2021 10:30

Those saying it's reasonable to assume someone is going to be vaccinated because 90% are... what other generalisations do you make? Before you meet a man, would you assume he's under 6 foot? 90% are. If you're meeting up with someone from Scotland, would you assume they were white? 90% are.

OP, I'd assume that if they haven't asked, they aren't making your stay contingent on your vaccination history.

Bryonyshcmyony · 28/07/2021 10:31

I'd just assume anyone who was a good enough friend to come and stay would be intelligent enough to be vaccinated tbh

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 28/07/2021 10:32

90% of adults are ok so 10% of adults aren’t- how many is that?! If you are that concerned you ask, I don’t assume anything if it was a deal breaker for me

GoWalkabout · 28/07/2021 10:33

I would phone in advance and say 'thank you for inviting us, I am really looking forward to seeing you, because we live in these strange times I just wanted to ring and discuss whether there are any particular things you want us to do differently or any precautions you want to take' and then raise

  • we'll take LFTs before coming
  • are we hugging or not hugging, would you be happier with distancing
  • and then you can say 'x is double jabbed and y has had covid, but I have chosen at this time not to have the jab for personal /medical reasons - I thought that you should be aware and if you prefer we therefore don't come I would much rather you say and I won't be offended, I know its part of the risk assessment we all make and I want to be open and honest.
Twoforthree · 28/07/2021 10:37

What have you got to lose by not telling them?

Ok they might possibly say not to go, but imagine their reaction if you do pass it on and they find you aren’t vaccinated, or if the conversation comes round to it during the week? Do you lie or tell the truth and risk them being displeased.

Bryonyshcmyony · 28/07/2021 10:37

I think the OP shouldn't say anything, it's her choice not be vaccinated. If she gets Covid from staying with then then it's her problem. Not upto the host to have to worry about it.

Twoforthree · 28/07/2021 10:38

@Bryonyshcmyony

I think the OP shouldn't say anything, it's her choice not be vaccinated. If she gets Covid from staying with then then it's her problem. Not upto the host to have to worry about it.
That’s not the point. She’s more risky to them.
Marmitemarinaded · 28/07/2021 10:41

@GrassIsRiz

Those saying it's reasonable to assume someone is going to be vaccinated because 90% are... what other generalisations do you make? Before you meet a man, would you assume he's under 6 foot? 90% are. If you're meeting up with someone from Scotland, would you assume they were white? 90% are.

OP, I'd assume that if they haven't asked, they aren't making your stay contingent on your vaccination history.

Yes If I was meeting up with someone in Scotland I would absolutely assume they were white! 90% chances are - they will be.

Office of national stats says average make height is 5ft 9 inches

HarrietOh · 28/07/2021 10:44

I think you should be more concerned about yourself here. If you think it's too risky to have the vaccine because of a potential heart problem then you don't want to go risking getting COVID as that would be much worse for you.