Feeling so low about this new world of vaccines

[blue12345]

Just wondering if anyone else is in the same boat as me? For many reasons, I've decided not to get the Covid vaccine. I' have all my vaccines and all my kids are vaccinated. I state this to show I'm not an anti-vaxxer, although I increasingly feel like one.

I'm feeling very isolated from my friends and family as a result of this. Everyone I meet asks me am I booked in yet, am I double-vaccinated. I don't bother getting into conversations about it , but it still causes me anxiety and has led to friction. A very close friend has asked me a few times have I got an appointment for my vaccine yet and I've tried to brush her off, as I think she will be unlikely to want to spend time around me after she finds out I'm not getting it. I've also found that lots of friends have cut back on their contact with me.

I am very comfortable with my decision, but I'm just so sad that we now live in a world where the segregation of vaccinated and unvaccinated people is allowed, in both interpersonal relations and also looking more and more likely that services like restaurants and travel will be similarly restricted.

You’ve decided not to be vaccinated.

They’ve decided to minimize contact with you, because you’re unvaccinated.

Why do you feel that your decision is so much more important than theirs, and that your wish to remain unvaccinated negates their wish to protect themselves?

OP, I feel depressed too.

Because right from the start of this pandemic the medics and scientists said that it would take a vaccine to end the pandemic.

And I am anxious because every person who chooses not to get vaccinated is a potential infection source for the proliferation of new variants, which is a threat to us all.

So I have no sympathy with your perception that you are a victim.

If your friends are fully vaccinated then they are more of a risk to YOU as you could catch covid from them and get very ill, whereas if they caught covid they should only get the disease mildly

I suggest they might be concerned about giving you a serious illness and they are therefore avoiding you to protect you and/or avoid any feelings of guilt should they transmit covid to you

I think the reason they're being evasive, is because it's been proven that the vaccine reduces transmission (I didn't know that until a thread on her the other day) and we need a certain amount of people in the country to have the vaccine to get us to 'herd immunity' meaning we will be able to just live along side it like we do the flu, means people not being vaxxed are contributing to more restrictions/lockdowns etc. So they're probably feeling a little bit frustrated with you right now. You say you don't understand why, but you don't seem to be looking at it from their perspective, you also say you don't socialise with anyone vulnerable...but what if they do? If they have family members, friends or work colleagues who are vulnerable, it seems you haven't considered that either?

You're well within your rights not to have the vaccine, and fair play to you if you have researched and made an informed decision - but as you have the right to make a decision on your health and well being, others have that same right. I can honestly say I wouldn't stop socialising with friends who aren't vaccinated, but I do understand why some people would

@WeatheringStorms22

No problem as long as you don’t have family who are CEV . A lot of people don’t admit what party they vote for either . And that affects society as well . It’s sad but true.

@Londonmummy00

I feel very very sad for you OP. I would be questioning what kind of friends these people were/ are? I struggle to believe that a close knit of friends could just abandon you like this over a vaccine. I have a close group of girl- friends. We all currently have young kids ranging from 2-8 years old, 2 are pregnant. 1 going through a bad divorce. We all have our own problems and lives. Covid worries are not in the top 3 for ANY of us- we have other life issues that take priority. Some of us have had the vaccine others haven’t. We kinda shrug our shoulders - no big deal. We trust each other that we would never meet up if one of us had cold symptoms- vaccinated or not. More so as we don’t want our kids off school/ nursery getting covid tests for the colds we have passed around. Covid just isn’t this huge thing that’s in the daily mail or on mumsnet. In reality we try to live our lives as normally as we can. I completely agree with my friends who don’t want the vaccine their reasons are absolutely understandable and personal to them. As are my vaccinated friends (although when I questioned one particular friend how come she finally did it (after not wanting to for the best part of 6 months) it was ‘because everyone else was so she thought she will as well’🤔 Just like that. Vaccines HAVE caused injury and deaths worldwide but most is covered up as it’s better to sacrifice a few people in order to help save the majority. Would I risk death, serious illness or injury just to save a strangers life, leaving my 2 children without a mother, husband devastated? Of course not. I get it. But Covid of course harms too. Does it harm 30 something year olds so much though that they need 2 vaccines? Those same vaccines an 85 year old needs who probably has multiple health issues? It makes no sense to me. What about the people who have naturally recovered from covid and have natural antibodies, why do they need 2 more vaccines on top? antibody overdrive in their immune system. So many questions un answered. Find new friends OP- and the vaccine may have just been an excuse and their were already cracks in your relationship with them.

I wish there were more people like this poster and her friends.

People need to get a grip. The fear propaganda has really got in to so many people. Mumsnet is probably not the best place to ask OP! There was someone on Jeremy Vine who said they didn't think it was right that people should be offered tickets to the Euros final for having the jab. She got absolutely ripped to shreds by the bullying panel for saying she didn't want to have the jab just yet as she has allergies. All this coercion just puts me off having the jab even more. Thousands of people die from the flu every year but people aren't guilt tripped into getting the flu jab.

I suppose all these people avoiding unvaccinated are going to stay away from all children as well are they?!
Anyone thinking of vaccinating their child is totally insane. There's a reason why it's not been recommended in the UK and that's because they know it's unethical because the risk of the child having the vaccine is higher than if they got covid.

I have taken other vaccines for the greater good... But I'm not willing to do that for this vaccine currently

Can't you see that your friends will be thinking you're a "free-loader", reaping the benefits of a more open society that vaccines bring, but unwilling to take the (extremely tiny) risk they've taken to achieve that.... whilst apparently happy to take the far larger risk of getting Covid (which makes no sense at all).

@MiaRoma

If your friends are fully vaccinated then they are more of a risk to YOU as you could catch covid from them and get very ill, whereas if they caught covid they should only get the disease mildly

I suggest they might be concerned about giving you a serious illness and they are therefore avoiding you to protect you and/or avoid any feelings of guilt should they transmit covid to you

That makes sense. The only people I see are fully vaccinated so if I get Covid, it will be from them. Yet MN will have you believe that if you are not vaccinated, you are a danger to people who are vaccinated. Why the anger about someone not having a vaccine that they clearly do not trust?

@MiaRoma

Not necessarily true as your chance of spreading the virus is reduced if you have the vaccine . However people who are vaccinated may be more relaxed and not observing the guidance so much so you might be right to a certain extent.

[quote Unsure33]@MiaRoma

Not necessarily true as your chance of spreading the virus is reduced if you have the vaccine . However people who are vaccinated may be more relaxed and not observing the guidance so much so you might be right to a certain extent.[/quote]
I have nurses visiting me at home a lot lately. One was struggling in her mask so I said take it off. She said they were not allowed. Then a few days later, the nurse that day took her mask off and said "it is ok, I am double jabbed".

@PleaseReferToMeAsBritneySpears

Thank you for that. Was there more in the leaked letter than they included in the article? It states clearly that their emergency departments are also overwhelmed with non-Covid cases, as per article two weeks ago. It also doesn't clearly state whether the increase in their critical care beds is due to Covid. The only Covid related reference is that their current Covid ward is full.

This article about Scotland from yesterday states that hospitalisations are not increasing in line with cases.

www.bbc.com/news/uk-scotland-57742212.amp

You are endangering other people, and you are not just making a decision for yourself. We only reach herd immunity if enough people get the vaccine. I would be unimpressed by any friends who decided not to get vaccinated and I would treat them differently as a result.

You might SAY you are not an anti-vaxxer. But when it comes to the vaccine that is the way out of a terrible, traumatic pandemic, you ARE an anti-vaxxer.

Lots of you have replied and said that the vaccinated can still get Covid. I understand that, but breakthrough infections are meant to be rare and also mild?

Not universally, plus there is the danger of variants incubating amongst the unvaccinated which in itself increases the danger both to the vaccinated and also, in particular, those who want to be vaccinated but can't.

What about all the poor countries with no vaccinations for their vulnerable? Surely the most selfless thing any of us lucky enough to be healthy and living in a country with low case rates would be to send out millions of vaccines to vaccine the world's vulnerable and not just our own rich countries?

Certainly, but it's not an either/or; we can both ensure our population is fully vaccinated and send out vaccines to other countries. But it's quite odd that you of all people are making that argument when you haven't chosen to be vaccinated yourself - if it's it not something that you want to have, why should you be pushing for other people to have it? There's a strong whiff of you relying on the rest of us to get vaccinated to minimise the risk to yourself.

I do think we are linked somewhat by vaccine decisions

Can I ask how old you are op? May have missed it

If you are young your risk will be lower which is something at least

@SophieGiroux Socialising with your own children is mandatory. Socialising with unvaccinated people is optional. We are exercising our options. Some of us have CV people in the home.

Oh also will be vaccinating DS (17) asap so call me insane with a cherry on top.

As I understand it, the problem in the NHS is in part the number of their staff who are off due to having Covid or having to isolate. That's a problem that would be minimised if the maximum possible number of people were vaccinated.

Vaccines have been around for a very long time and saved millions of lives @blue12345 so it's not a new world at all. It's what vaccines do, protect people

@MareofBeasttown

Personally I feel lower about a world where dying people who are desperate to get vaccines in the less developed world can't get it. Not much sympathy left over for friendships that have gone awry. It's the firstest of first world problems.

Exactly! It would be much better if the vaccines were going to the vulnerable in other countries than giving them to young healthy people in this country who are unlikely to be severely ill. People need to stop thinking about just the UK and think about the world as a whole, vaccinate the vulnerable not those who would most likely be fine catching covid.

@VodselForDinner

You’ve decided not to be vaccinated.

They’ve decided to minimize contact with you, because you’re unvaccinated.

Why do you feel that your decision is so much more important than theirs, and that your wish to remain unvaccinated negates their wish to protect themselves?

This. Spot on.

@SophieGiroux

Don’t compare this vaccine with flu .

This is a pandemic and a worldwide problem . How many people with flu do you know who have multiple blood clots that can affect any organ in the body ? There is no comparison .

In a bad year we lose 20000 to flu . If we had continued to lose 1000 a day then 365000 minimum.

This is not just our government vaccinating their population , every country is doing it which is why it IS a public health concern.

I agree try not to judge , however there is no way you can blame all governments for trying every way to convince people to get vaccinated.

Oh also will be vaccinating DS (17) asap so call me insane with a cherry on top

Presumably at 17 he's making his own decision so whether that's for or against doesn't really reflect on you at all.

I agree with the pp who said anyone vaccinating a child is insane though. The current vaccine technology has never been used in humans before let alone tiny children with growing bodies. No one knows if any long term damage will be caused. Why you'd sign your child up for that is totally beyond me.

Yes if every healthy person in the UK selflessly declines the vaccine, their doses will definitely go to Ghana.

@blue12345

Yes hospital cases are not rising in line with infection because of the vaccines! You are arguing against yourself .

There comes a point where self preservation takes over

That's the point when you go for the lower risk option and have the vaccine?