'We've not been out since all this started'

[TheVampiresWife]

I heard this yesterday from someone DH works with (they're all wfh). A couple in their late 40s, no health issues with no vulnerabilities, fully vaccinated but 'you can't be too careful'.

They've not left the house apart from their vaccine appointments since the start of the first lockdown.

I understand how worrying it's all been for some people, particularly if you're vulnerable or have health anxiety. But it's so sad that people are this terrified. I wonder how they'll cope when restrictions end. The MH fallout from all this is going to be massive, isn't it?

@walkoflifewoohoo

"I haven’t been to a pub since Feb 2020 as we’ve been in special measures pretty much since then"

No, the pubs have opened several times. They are open now. You haven't been to a pub because you've chosen not to. They're open.

That's not true for everyone, @walkoflifewoohoo. I live near Glasgow - pubs were slower to open in summer last year than they were in England, and were closed again by about October. Some were allowed to open as long as they just served food, and no alcohol. All pubs were closed again on Christmas Even and didn't open until the end of April. It's only been in the last couple of weeks that you've been allowed to have a drink inside.

@PrettyVacancy

OP, perhaps you could start some sort of initiative to help those you’re concerned about re-integrate into society? You’ve identified a problem, which is good, but now it’s time to work out a solution rather than pointing out other people’s mental health struggles?

I've written to my MP about MH provision already.

It's not really my place to 'start an initiative'.

And it's not 'other people' - as I say, I've struggled terribly and it was very, very difficult for me to start going outside again last year.

@PrettyVacancy

Can you offer to help them get out and about? How far does your concern extend?

How can I offer to help people I don't know to go out?

It's a bit like saying if you're concerned about world hunger you should make everyone dinner.

I think at least some of the people who haven't been going out are quite happy at home to begin with. I don't think they're all as terrified and anxious as some people are making out.

I'm in Australia and in an area where we haven't had much in the way of lockdowns, but we have had them every now and again. I've not been out much even when I have been allowed. I live in the middle of nowhere and didn't get out much even before covid hit. But then I've got a decent size plot of land with animals to tend to, plus my husband and several kids. We produce a lot of our food so there's a lot to be getting on with day to day and it doesn't massively bother me if there's a lockdown. We chose a fairly solitary life before we knew anything about this. We're not very social and are used to going for a couple of weeks at a time without leaving our land.

I can't even begin to imagine what this level of isolation would be like for people who live in a small flat, especially the ones who are naturally very social and were used to going out a lot. It must be very tough on their mental health.

@PrettyVacancy. Whilst every adult has the right to turn into a hermit and waste their own life by hiding away from every possible risk, when they are expecting children to do the same it is not unacceptable and actually quite abusive. Passing your own anxiety and fear onto your children is not acceptable

@PrettyVacancy

So this is a thread to attack people with poor mental health? Nice. Whatever happened to ‘Beeeeee kiiiiiiind’? Or does that only apply when you’re shouting at people you don’t like?

Surely t's OK to share these things and highlight that it's happening? It's a consequence of the pandemic that shouldn't be ignored. I haven't noticed anyone being unkind.

This is so sad, I can't see how these people will recover.
My friend is like this, both in 30s, no health problems but still terrified and only goes for walks to quiet parks. Unable to go to work and they have still kept their child off school, which I find really sad and worrying but she can't see the long term damage it will do

The media played a massive role in terrifying the living daylights out of people. I stopped watching the news and only watched First Minister's briefings. The newspapers were ridiculous and Im sadly not surprised that people are terrified to go out. People with anxiety already are at risk of it developing into agoraphobia. Especially if you are not going out at all. I'm not a medical professional but had a family member this happened to pre-Covid. I found myself being apprehensive about bus travel, but, since I cannot drive it was either get a bus or be confined to my home. No thanks. Many people are going to need alot of support with their mental health now. The government should have known this. Living half a life is not for me. Life is risk.

@ememem84

I know people like this. It’s maddening. They won’t go out until there is no risk of covid. Or until covids been eradicated.

Haven’t set foot any further than the boundary to their property since the March last year.

@ememem84 Do they have a large property??

OP, don’t be silly. No one is asking you to end world hunger but, for a family struggling to afford food, one meal from you would be very welcome. Or, in this case one invitation to meet up with the couple about whom you are so worried, possibly outside if that would help them? If ,as you say, you don’t know them I’m not sure why you’re so concerned but,as you obviously are, this might be a good time to introduce yourself to them?

Agree that the BBC - and especially Clive Myrie - seemed to specialise in the coverage of crying nurses, reports from inside Covid wards with people saying how awful it was and how awful it was going to be, for most of last year.

@Icequeen01

OMG - I can't imagine not having my haircut for that long. I looked like a cavewoman after the last 3 months lockdown! Sorry, that's probably very vain and self absorbed but bloody hell!

I cut my own hair. Tbf I am vulnerable and I was pregnant as well so stayed away from everyone. I did go for a daily walk though. Now that I'm vaccinated (and baby was born) I live my life as normal as possible.

I do think in hindsight that more should have been done for those that are/were shielding. Just because someone is vulnerable that doesn't make it any easier to do.

I know someone who had a baby at the same time as me, in August last year. They haven’t taken the baby out of the house/garden except for medical appointments. A nearly 1 year old who came home from the hospital and hasn’t left, has interacted only with its parents for months. Not seen a single face bar them and a few medical professionals months ago.

I’m actually quite worried about it but don’t think it’ll be taken seriously if I say anything.

@Handsoffstrikesagain

sunny have the school said anything about keeping the child off or has she de registered her?

They de registered, but now struggling to find a place for September. Really worried about her, she hasn't played with another child for over a year and only been on walks with a friend but told to keep 2 metres at all times. Shocked that my friend can't see the damage it could do

"That's not true for everyone, @walkoflifewoohoo. I live near Glasgow - pubs were slower to open in summer last year than they were in England, and were closed again by about October. Some were allowed to open as long as they just served food, and no alcohol. All pubs were closed again on Christmas Even and didn't open until the end of April. It's only been in the last couple of weeks that you've been allowed to have a drink inside."

@TheGenealogist that's just not true. The same as the Manchester poster. I'm in Lancashire, trust me, I know some have had harsher restrictions than others but the pubs have been open and nice and easy to give your custom to for a lot longer than you are saying.

I was drinking indoors in Edinburgh and Stirling 6 weeks ago. 6.

Yes we've had lockdowns but most places have been open a lot longer than a couple of weeks.

There is no reason other than isolating to stay home now.

I know a family, mum, dad 11 year old son who are like this. Basically barely left their house since this began. Son is home educated. Mum has multiple health conditions. But I am really worried about the effect on them all of completely cutting themselves off from the world for so long. I think they will find it very hard to reintegrate into society.

We go to work and the supermarket, and nursery for DC. But we haven’t seen anyone or been to a pub or restaurant or anywhere. It’s non essential and not worth the risk of being seriously ill. Even being told to isolate would be a massive problem for us - we need to be at work.

We're six days into a ten day isolation period (DD came into contact at nursery) and I'm already climbing the walls AND I CAN GO OUT!

I can't imagine 18 months of staring at the same four walls

[quote Snookie00]@PrettyVacancy. Whilst every adult has the right to turn into a hermit and waste their own life by hiding away from every possible risk, when they are expecting children to do the same it is not unacceptable and actually quite abusive. Passing your own anxiety and fear onto your children is not acceptable[/quote]
Can you explain exactly what you mean by this statement please? Are you saying that parents with anxiety should just 'pull themselves together' for the sake of their children? I don't think this is how mental health works is it?

Or are you saying that social services ought to step in if a parent suffers from anxiety to prevent them passing it on? Would you like the children to be removed? If so, to where?

Finally, is it up to you to judge whether or not a childless person is wasting their life because they choose not to live like you have chosen? Have you ever considered that they might enjoy their solitude?

My sister and husband, in their 60s with no health problems, have barely been over the doorstep since it started. They are still getting all their shopping delivered and wiping down all items.

They went out for a birthday lunch last week, sitting outdoors at a local cafe, but "didn't feel safe" - I just don't understand their panic.

Some people are naturally more introverted, more self-sufficient, more conscientious, more cautious, more risk averse, more health-conscious, and so on.

I don't think playing it safe during a major pandemic is a bad choice, really, if your circumstances allow it. They may also have risk factors or health problems you are not privy to.

I think there are various categories. Some people never went out before for whatever reason and so now feel better about this. Others can do isolation well: plenty of Ocado deliveries, nice big house and garden, maybe able to home educate. Some people have had their inner hypochondriac triggered (mostly older people) and others are genuinely very scared beyond what is reasonable. It’s this last group who need help. The others can crack on. And the ones still calling for school closures and full lockdowns can put a sock in it.

In 2019, if I heard that parents of a child at my kids school kept the children inside and they never left the house apart from school/never met friends/never went on days out because the parents were scared of a disease I probably would report it to social services as a welfare issue/assume they were in some kind of abusive cult. It’s crazy to think this is not all that unusual now.