'We've not been out since all this started'

[TheVampiresWife]

I heard this yesterday from someone DH works with (they're all wfh). A couple in their late 40s, no health issues with no vulnerabilities, fully vaccinated but 'you can't be too careful'.

They've not left the house apart from their vaccine appointments since the start of the first lockdown.

I understand how worrying it's all been for some people, particularly if you're vulnerable or have health anxiety. But it's so sad that people are this terrified. I wonder how they'll cope when restrictions end. The MH fallout from all this is going to be massive, isn't it?

She doesn't choose To. She's physically disabled and largely housebound.

Strange isn't it that this thread almost feels like a few people want to shut down a discussion about how people are fearful as if it's healthy to be afraid to go out.

She makes the best of it.

@amispeakingenglish

what is ECV as I can only find stuff about breech babies or something?

Extremely clinically vulnerable

@Stuffin

Strange isn't it that this thread almost feels like a few people want to shut down a discussion about how people are fearful as if it's healthy to be afraid to go out.

Indeed.

And calling out those who are concerned at the mental health legacy of Covid as 'ableist' and 'gossips'.

It's very odd.

With regards people who are nervous during the pandemic. Let's not forget that

a) many people are extremely private about personal health. Some don't tell friends or even family about issues. So plenty of the 'scared' will be CEV or CV.

b) Lots and lots of people suffered traumatising bereavement. They need time to come to terms with the risks.

Like a PP says if you're concerned, do something nice for them. Send flowers or chocolates, donate money to your local mental health charity.

You could even volunteer as a befriender. Help support the lonely and isolated.

Separately of course, it's irrational not to be nervous. Some people fear long term disability more than death. Not least because of the financial repercussions of suddenly being unable to work.

If they develop Long Covid they won't just be at home during the pandemic. They might find themselves stuck at home for years after.

So really people's caution is quite understandble.

When it comes to concerns around the mental health impact of the pandemic. The tsunami of Long Covid cases (with the associated mental health impact). Now that's a huge issue.

@Tealightsandd

With regards people who are nervous during the pandemic. Let's not forget that

a) many people are extremely private about personal health. Some don't tell friends or even family about issues. So plenty of the 'scared' will be CEV or CV.

b) Lots and lots of people suffered traumatising bereavement. They need time to come to terms with the risks.

Like a PP says if you're concerned, do something nice for them. Send flowers or chocolates, donate money to your local mental health charity.

You could even volunteer as a befriender. Help support the lonely and isolated.

Separately of course, it's irrational not to be nervous. Some people fear long term disability more than death. Not least because of the financial repercussions of suddenly being unable to work.

If they develop Long Covid they won't just be at home during the pandemic. They might find themselves stuck at home for years after.

So really people's caution is quite understandble.

I don't want to talk about it here because it's outing but I already volunteer in a MH-related field.

As I said to that poster it would seem very odd indeed to send flowers to someone you don't know.

As I've also said, I understand the fear and worry having felt that way myself. Also having felt that way myself I know how debilitating and all consuming and yes, unhealthy, that fear is.

@Tealightsandd

When it comes to concerns around the mental health impact of the pandemic. The tsunami of Long Covid cases (with the associated mental health impact). Now that's a huge issue.

Long Covid is a separate issue, albeit a worrying one.

The sound like a couple of wet blankets. They are better off staying home so no one else has to put up with them

I think people behaving like this don't understand how you catch the virus - if youve gone out alone for a walk, jog or cycle ride every single day since the beginning of lock down - as I have - you're really unlikely to catch it unless someone you live with catches it and brings it back home - there was never any need for most people to stay in

Neither my aunt’s fear nor my friend’s is understandable or rational.
My aunt would rather live the last healthy years of her life inside alone, not seeing her lovely family. She’s miserable. And her behaviour towards my mum who is 80 herself is simply unfair.
Balance this against the small possibility of getting long Covid and it makes no sense.

Ditto my friend. She’s spent 30 years dodging bullets and bombs and now she won’t sit outside in a pub garden in leafy Richmond. It’s simply not rational. And a bunch of flowers won’t make jack shit difference.

@HelloMissus

Neither my aunt’s fear nor my friend’s is understandable or rational. My aunt would rather live the last healthy years of her life inside alone, not seeing her lovely family. She’s miserable. And her behaviour towards my mum who is 80 herself is simply unfair. Balance this against the small possibility of getting long Covid and it makes no sense.

Ditto my friend. She’s spent 30 years dodging bullets and bombs and now she won’t sit outside in a pub garden in leafy Richmond. It’s simply not rational. And a bunch of flowers won’t make jack shit difference.

I'm so sorry that your loved ones are affected like this, and for the knock on effects on the rest of your family.

Posters here who insist there's no covid related MH crisis and that it's a perfectly healthy 'life choice' to live like this really have no idea.

And I did wonder what good a bunch of flowers would do - particularly if the recipients may be isolating deliveries!

@2021DNA

The sound like a couple of wet blankets. They are better off staying home so no one else has to put up with them

I don't really think this is fair. People who may be struggling with their mental health aren't wet blankets.

If you're choosing to stay at home because you don't like socialising or whatever, no issue. If fear is what's driving you to never leave the house, it stops being a choice you're making. That's where MH issues come into it.

But most people here don't even know how much of other people's lifestyle is choice. There's a lot of leaping from "I wouldn't want to stay in" to "therefore those people must be staying in because they're terrified". Where's the middle ground where some people are just more cautious than you? They might be desperate to get out but have come to a different conclusion to you about what's wise, and what they can cope without for a bit longer.

I suppose the reason for this leap is that when people feel very driven to go out, they assume that everyone else is the same so it must take an equivalently strong drive the other way (terror) to make them not go out. It's not actually true though - everyone is different - for some people opening up more cautiously is no big deal even if it is for you. It's possible for someone to stay in when you would go out without being terrified.

Even where a MH issue is relevant, it's clear from this thread that some kinds of MH are more acceptable than others. Staying in because you're depressed? Fine - plenty of sympathy coming your way. Behaving in a way that even implies you're anxious? Not fine, it's basically a sign of poor character, something for people to dissect and criticise in a thread like this.

Having been on the WFH thread, I'm thinking perhaps you're right afterall to have some concerns OP.

In 18 months?! Jesus, my partner, son and myself all have jobs that we had to travel to, nothing changed for us in the whole time lockdown happened. We shopped, walked the dogs and went to work. They must have health anxiety or something.

Permanent WFH will make an incredibly insular society. People isolating themselves at home all day, every day.

So shit for young people just staring out I'm the world of work too.

Yes I think you were right to have concerns.

@NothingIsWrong

People have got used to outsourcing their risk to those generally worse off than them. Those who can't afford to turn down crap pay and conditions to deliver stuff to the well off. It doesn't sit well with me at all, that attitude.

Absolutely and my partner and myself were two of them. I worked in food retail and he works at an airport (not London sized). He watched the wealthy jetting in and out without a care in the world!

Staying in because you're depressed? Fine - plenty of sympathy coming your way. Behaving in a way that even implies you're anxious? Not fine, it's basically a sign of poor character

I don’t think that’s a fair characterisation of the thread.

And yes, honestly, if someone had not left their house for 18 months because they were depressed, I would think that was a problem and they needed help. I probably couldn’t do much to get them that help if they didn’t want it, but I wouldn’t be cheering them on with some platitudes about ‘lifestyle choices’ either.

Surely they are making their own risk assessment based on their own personal circumstances. I know people who get massively rubbish sick pay and so are wary because financially covid and particularly long covid could have massive implications. I know families with young kids that barely went out already before. I know folk who were desperate to get out and have done so. I keep hearing everyones covid story has been different, surely everyones moving on story is different too, be there and available rather than judgy maybe?

Once the government ends the WFH guidance, things might change for the better. It will help get people back out and about.

I know it's really sad how some people are behaving. I asked a friend to meet up at the park with her toddler and mine. She refused . She has been out twice " since it started".

Boris I dint think that’s right for the two people I know.
The first is retired many years. Double vaccinated. Pension guaranteed. And at 84 I’d say these are her twilight years. She’s healthy and mobile. How much longer can that reliably last. Worrying about long Covid isn’t rational.
The second is independently wealthy and single, no kids.
For whatever reason, she has decided that she’s at risk. She has no health issues. Is doubly vaccinated too (52). When I ask her about it she points me to stuff on the internet, all clearly posted by people with an agenda (without any interest in how much they’re hurting people).

@Borisisafecklesstoad

Surely they are making their own risk assessment based on their own personal circumstances. I know people who get massively rubbish sick pay and so are wary because financially covid and particularly long covid could have massive implications. I know families with young kids that barely went out already before. I know folk who were desperate to get out and have done so. I keep hearing everyones covid story has been different, surely everyones moving on story is different too, be there and available rather than judgy maybe?

As I've said time and again on this thread, I'm judging nobody. I've had a rough time myself over the past year and a half.

Of course I can't know everything about their personal situation (I do know they're both wfh though and aren't vulnerable, both have had both vaccinations). Yes, everyone's story is different but it's clear from this thread that lots of people are struggling to get back to normal and many are fearful of leaving the house (as opposed to just being home bodies) even though they're at very low risk from Covid.