'We've not been out since all this started'

[TheVampiresWife]

I heard this yesterday from someone DH works with (they're all wfh). A couple in their late 40s, no health issues with no vulnerabilities, fully vaccinated but 'you can't be too careful'.

They've not left the house apart from their vaccine appointments since the start of the first lockdown.

I understand how worrying it's all been for some people, particularly if you're vulnerable or have health anxiety. But it's so sad that people are this terrified. I wonder how they'll cope when restrictions end. The MH fallout from all this is going to be massive, isn't it?

A friend of mine in her late 50s was like this. Not going out at all, quarantining post, disinfecting groceries. Even when rules relaxed she wouldn't meet in the garden. Thankfully she's eased up a bit since she's had both vaccines, but she was obsessive for many months.

@iwantalicencetocrenellate

A friend of mine in her late 50s was like this. Not going out at all, quarantining post, disinfecting groceries. Even when rules relaxed she wouldn't meet in the garden. Thankfully she's eased up a bit since she's had both vaccines, but she was obsessive for many months.

Hopefully as things open up, more people are double vaccinated and deaths/hospitalisations remain low people will slowly begin to feel more comfortable doing things. I think there will be many for whom it's going to be harder though, sadly.

Have they said they are terrified?

I really hope that things improve for both the people I mentioned.
But really what can I do about it?
At present I’m doing as my friend insists and meeting outside whatever the weather. I’ve told her I’m fed up with it, she doesn’t care.
I said maybe we should leave it until she feels able to meet up inside and she gets upset. She also gets upset when I tell her what my family are doing (I’ve three kids on their twenties, two foster kids in school) as she’s worried for them.

NothingIsWrong - ‘People have got used to outsourcing their risk to those … worse off…
Couldn’t agree more. Some people can afford to cut themselves off but they act like they’ve made a responsible choice. They p*ss me off. I know someone who says ‘Oooh, it’s hardly affected me hee-hee’
I want to say ‘Oh, f**k off! You own your house, you have a big garden, 2 pensions, a cleaner and all your food is delivered.’ But I do point out that a lot of other people are not in such fortunate positions.
I suspect many people are cutting themselves off because they want to and they can.

It already is. And MH services were in really bad shape before the pandemic. Wish I could retire.

Well to be able not to have the responsibilities of going out to work, taking kids to school, helping out others etc is something not been people have had! Quite a privilege really but also must intensify fear of getting back to normality after hiding away.

Each the their own but omg that's crazy 😳 Hubby is Key worker and our boy went to school throughout the lockdowns. I done the food shopping as it just wasn't fair on hubby to do long shifts and the queue for ages. I couldn't just stay indoors locked . I need to be out for a walk and fresh air . Being indoors all tge time is so bad for your health and your immune system. I'm massive outdoors lover 🤷‍♀️

What a sad, miserable life some people are living. It must be fucking awful. I have sympathy because they must be struggling mentally - and because they are literally wasting their lives.

On the other hand, they may be fine. This is a bizarre thread.

There are so many who are just sat at home terrified. They/we all need to step away from the mainstream media now. What’s the point in life if you don’t live? Just before my dad died, he said he’d rather have had a short but fun life than a long boring one… that’s always stuck with me.
My mum is getting older, as are my children. Neither of them will want to travel with me soon (or won’t be able to) & there are so many places I still wanted us all to visit. Feeling miserable about it all right now. As a single parent, it’s been bloody hard work & I really need a break.

I have only been out a handful of times, to necessary appointments. I am not in the least bit worried about covid, but I don't drive, my youngest gets travel sick even on a 5 minute journey and we live in the middle of nowhere with no friends or family for at least two counties over. My husband works from home and does school runs. He has no interest in family days out so we end up staying in all the time. It has severely affected my mental health being so isolated.

Since I haven't been out for so long I have lost all confidence of managing to go out, there really isn't anywhere to go and the places that are open I wouldn't have a clue what to do in terms of apps and reporting or whatever the process is to even sit and have lunch somewhere.

@psuedocream3

I have only been out a handful of times, to necessary appointments. I am not in the least bit worried about covid, but I don't drive, my youngest gets travel sick even on a 5 minute journey and we live in the middle of nowhere with no friends or family for at least two counties over. My husband works from home and does school runs. He has no interest in family days out so we end up staying in all the time. It has severely affected my mental health being so isolated.

Since I haven't been out for so long I have lost all confidence of managing to go out, there really isn't anywhere to go and the places that are open I wouldn't have a clue what to do in terms of apps and reporting or whatever the process is to even sit and have lunch somewhere.

This is another issue for a lot of people too I think - it's a strange new world in a lot of ways, particularly if you haven't been out much since last March. The one way systems, apps, check ins, rules (none of which seem consistent) are hard to get to grips with even for those who have been out and about throughout. For some it's going to be pretty daunting.

Hopefully from next month there will be fewer rules to have to navigate and it will be easier.

Incidentally you don't need the app to check in to most places - I don't have it, DH doesn't even own a phone and we've been fine with just leaving our details.

I really feel for you @psuedocream3, it's really difficult isn't it. I hope you feel better soon

DH and I haven't been out socially, except for a couple of visits to B/SiL and to meet friends this week, for over 15months. I am 'vulnerable' and DH is petrified I'll get ill, so for months shopping was wiped down, post put into quarantine etc and don't get me started on hand washing!!! We are home bodies though, and have reasonable indoor/outdoor space to roam around, plus we have a fab coastal view so it's not been too claustraphobic. My main problem is mobility and the fact that a total knee replacement op has been postponed since the start of the pandemic - so walking is 'no go' anyway.

@MrsLCSofLichfield

On the other hand, they may be fine. This is a bizarre thread.

Whether the couple I mentioned are fine or not there are plenty of people who aren't, as this thread has shown. It's heartbreaking to hear of family members too scared to see loved ones and people who haven't left the house for a year and a half despite being very low risk/double vaccinated.

I went out with a friend yesterday for a walk. She wouldn’t sit on a bench or get a take away coffee. She jumped at every noise. I just didn’t enjoy her company because she was so anxious and I just found it really strange. I try to be sympathetic, but she’s had both vaccines and has no health issues.
She hasn’t been in a supermarket since last March or in a cafe or shop.

Too busy to be on MN much today so just skimming through. So I might have misread, but this thread comes across as terribly ableist.

Talking of colleagues. DP's colleague has a disabled sister. She's been housebound for years. I'm sure she'd be so glad to read that her life - 'shut away indoors' - is considered so pointless and worthless.

@loopylindi

DH and I haven't been out socially, except for a couple of visits to B/SiL and to meet friends this week, for over 15months. I am 'vulnerable' and DH is petrified I'll get ill, so for months shopping was wiped down, post put into quarantine etc and don't get me started on hand washing!!! We are home bodies though, and have reasonable indoor/outdoor space to roam around, plus we have a fab coastal view so it's not been too claustraphobic. My main problem is mobility and the fact that a total knee replacement op has been postponed since the start of the pandemic - so walking is 'no go' anyway.

I'm disabled and haven't been able to get an appointment with my consultant to get my meds sorted so I'm in pain constantly. Also I'm a total home body too! So I've not been out much either, other than supermarket shopping, a walk when I'm able, and the pub about four times since they reopened in July last year (including once since they re-reopened!).

Very jealous of your beautiful view - it's my dream to live by the sea. If I had a coastal view I'd probably spend all my time looking at it and never want to go anywhere anyway!

It's not btw. I've only met her once or twice but she's full of life. Stuck indoors maybe but she's very much living her life. She bakes a lovely cake too.

There's many like her. Has been for years before the pandemic. Disabled housebound. Their lives are very much worthwhile. Just as much as the rest of us.

@Tealightsandd

Too busy to be on MN much today so just skimming through. So I might have misread, but this thread comes across as terribly ableist.

Talking of colleagues. DP's colleague has a disabled sister. She's been housebound for years. I'm sure she'd be so glad to read that her life - 'shut away indoors' - is considered so pointless and worthless.

Being concerned that some people have been deeply affected by the pandemic and feel unable to leave their homes for a year and a half for fear of catching it, and suggesting that there the mental health repercussions of Covid will be immense, isn't ableist surely? Nor are the posters who have expressed sadness that their loved ones have felt they can't 'risk' seeing them.

@Tealightsandd

Too busy to be on MN much today so just skimming through. So I might have misread, but this thread comes across as terribly ableist.

Talking of colleagues. DP's colleague has a disabled sister. She's been housebound for years. I'm sure she'd be so glad to read that her life - 'shut away indoors' - is considered so pointless and worthless.

Obviously if someone is disabled that’s completely different. Or if people have health issues. For someone who is healthy, vaccinated and with no other issues it is beyond strange to stay at home, afraid of everything all day. Some people love being at home and sitting in the garden. If they aren’t afraid to go out or see people, that’s no big deal. It’s something else when people are staying home out of FEAR.

@Tealightsandd

It's not btw. I've only met her once or twice but she's full of life. Stuck indoors maybe but she's very much living her life. She bakes a lovely cake too.

There's many like her. Has been for years before the pandemic. Disabled housebound. Their lives are very much worthwhile. Just as much as the rest of us.

Incidentally I'm disabled too and often can't leave the house for weeks on end. At the start of the first lockdown I was too frightened to go out for all but essential shopping.

When I've been unable to leave the house it has felt isolating and sad. I've missed the outside world. Not saying everyone who's housebound (be it permanently or temporarily) feels that way, but I did. And I certainly don't think that people who are housebound have lives that aren't worthwhile.

Obviously if someone is disabled that’s completely different. Or if people have health issues. For someone who is healthy, vaccinated and with no other issues it is beyond strange to stay at home, afraid of everything all day. Some people love being at home and sitting in the garden. If they aren’t afraid to go out or see people, that’s no big deal. It’s something else when people are staying home out of FEAR

I agree with this.

If you're choosing to stay at home because you don't like socialising or whatever, no issue. If fear is what's driving you to never leave the house, it stops being a choice you're making. That's where MH issues come into it.

It’s interesting that this mainly seems to be couples.
I would imagine that there is a certain dynamic in these relationships, that reinforces each other’s neurosis.
Neither one of the pair challenges the other.
In a way they have co created a new reality.
They would be horrified by us.
I was in 3 cities last week, several trains, cinemas, coffee shops, supermarkets and restaurants.
I am a volunteer vaccinator.
Teen daughter doing her gap year in a care home.Other children in school.
Foreign holiday booked for July.
Know 2 people who have completely lost their mental health due to Covid, one lost marriage, children, job and got a criminal record.
The other is heading that way.
They were a couple.

what is ECV as I can only find stuff about breech babies or something?