'We've not been out since all this started'

[TheVampiresWife]

I heard this yesterday from someone DH works with (they're all wfh). A couple in their late 40s, no health issues with no vulnerabilities, fully vaccinated but 'you can't be too careful'.

They've not left the house apart from their vaccine appointments since the start of the first lockdown.

I understand how worrying it's all been for some people, particularly if you're vulnerable or have health anxiety. But it's so sad that people are this terrified. I wonder how they'll cope when restrictions end. The MH fallout from all this is going to be massive, isn't it?

@TheVampiresWife

I don't believe anyone who says this; that they've not left the house in a year and 4 months. Not for a fleeting moment.

They're the same as the type who claim they've 'never had a day off work sick in 50 years,' and who have been married for 65 years, and have never had a single argument or a 'cross word' between them!

All bollux.

It’s a complete inability to assess risk.

I get so confused when some people claim to never leave the house (to avoid Covid). Then it transpires they have kids at school and the DH is out to work every day.

Love, you should have been out the whole time! Your biggest risk is from the kids at school/DH at work. Not going for a walk or popping to the shops.

I don’t believe it.

Not going for a walk or popping to the shops.

I really think that depends on where you live, here is holiday central & supermarket, local shops & local walks have been hellish with way too many people, often not even staff taking any precautions. I also had to delete the App as we have a pub & several cafe neighbours & kept getting pinged with Covid when I hadn't even left the house. Several other friends living close to pubs have had that problem too.

My NDNs have been nowhere, honest they haven't. We live middle of nowhere, their car hasn't moved. The battery will be flat now.

They even ate Christmas dinner sat outside at a distance from their DCs when one of them came home. One lives with them.

[quote FlaminEckVera]@TheVampiresWife

I don't believe anyone who says this; that they've not left the house in a year and 4 months. Not for a fleeting moment.

They're the same as the type who claim they've 'never had a day off work sick in 50 years,' and who have been married for 65 years, and have never had a single argument or a 'cross word' between them!

All bollux.[/quote]
To be fair the person on question hasn't had a day off sick in the 15 years DH has worked there so maybe there is a correlation!

"hat's the issue. Some people's idea of risk has become skewed, through no fault of their own."

I'm not sure it's NO fault of their own. I've heard of smokers being afraid of the vaccine, for example. That's a lack of thinking things through isn't it and denial about the harm of their smoking addiction.

@lap90

Were they the type to really go out anyway? My neighbours are like this but then they didn't really go out pre-covid.

Absolutely. Always at staff drinks, went on holiday, theatre etc.

"The UK hasn't at any time had a true 'lockdown', work has continued for the majority, there's not been curfew, no one has needed a permission slip to leave the house. All the talk of 'freedom day' ignores the fact that there are currently very few restrictions on day-to-day living."

What is a true lockdown? Italian style where nobody is allowed out except if they have a dog? Is that even a true lockdown?

In the first lockdown we were allowed out once a day and only to exercise or shop for food or medicine. We had to stay very close to home to do this and we were not even allowed to sit down outside.

Only one hour out of 24 outside is extremely draconian - even prisoners get exercise time, so we were basically on house arrest.

We could not even go for a walk with another person so single people were also totally alone.

Yeah I know a few people like this, of all ages from 30s-70s.

Had some friends come to our house this weekend who have been like this, although they have been going to work throughout. Nowhere else though, not even the supermarket. We live in a touristy place and they were absolutely amazed at the number of people out and about when we went for a walk. It was busy-ish but nearly everyone was still social distancing. They were surprised we were so unconcerned but it's been getting generally busier since late march when restrictions first started to ease so we barely notice it now. Think they honestly believed most people were like them so were shocked to see so many people, including those much older than them, out and about, going for a walk, playing golf, eating and drinking in the pubs etc.

I mean on one hand it's nothing to do with me if people are still scared (actually I'm better off as it's fewer people out and about and trying to book tables etc!) but I agree that their "safety" is dependent on others (usually the badly paid) putting themselves out which I agree is an uncomfortable way of looking at it. Also think its not fair that people impose this on their children.

I thought skilled and unskilled jobs were being lost in the pandemic and delivery-driving / supermarket work were ways for people to keep a roof over their head?!

Should conditions / pay in those sectors be better? Undoubtedly. Is it reasonable to place moral blame on anyone who - for whatever reason - chooses to use delivery services rather than going out to shops? No! Unreasonable and bonkers!

I'm in my 50s. I have not been out socially since it started. I work non patient facing in the NHS in a very covid secure, social distanced venue. I've been double vaccinated since January. I have been into shops probably about three times since Feb 20. I have no desire to go out and I certainly wouldn't go anywhere non essential as I can see the numbers rising at work. It's up to the individual and nothing wrong with wanting to stay in. I certainly don't have any mental health problems. I also visit my parents weekly to drop of their shopping, but always stay and chat in the garden. I've not been inside.

But it is reasonable to think it irrational to tell actors and musicians it isn't safe to perform whilst increasing the number of delivery drivers, and no doubt increasing the demand for delivery drivers and lowering the demand for actors and musicians and event management technicians...and the pro lockdown stay safe group( who disapprove of opening things up), are availing themselves of the "skills" of the former, now involved as Deliveroo drivers etc

"To be fair, in pre-covid times I wouldn't have considered it healthy to not leave your house either (assuming no mobility of serious health issues). No judgment in relation to those who, as my parents would say, "keep themselves to themselves"; many people prefer their own company etc. However, it would be the lack of exercise, fresh air and some form of small interaction that concerns me, even if that is just saying hi to the guy in the newsagent twice a week. I'm not suggesting they should be swinging from the chandeliers."

I say hi to my lovely delivery drivers :) I am currently sitting here sweating because I have just cut down part of my garden. Don't judge.

This thread has been eye opening, I don't know anyone like this. Life is pretty much back to normal as far as I'm concerned (except the masks), and everyone around me seems to feel the same way.

I didn’t go out for a year (CEV) while friends and family broke the rules and met up illegally. The result is that I’ve become invisible and unwelcome. I’m willing and able to go out now I’ve been vaccinated but people are excluding me. Perhaps because they felt I was being judgemental by not joining them when they broke the law. Perhaps because they thought I didn’t give a crap about seeing them (I did, but I had to put my health and safety first). Perhaps because they’ve just got used to going out without me and have realised they don’t want me there. I don’t know. But it looks like I won’t be going back to normal because I’m not welcome in my previous life any more.

@Farinaz

I think the CEV and their immediate households have had the rawest of raw deals throughout thus time. But at least people don't describe us as 'old and going to die anyhow' quite as often as they did.

The lack of understanding about the precautionary advice which replaced shielding makes me sad.

My parents in law are exactly the same but they started self isolating when it started in China (late December 2019)
Have been out for the odd walk since but only in heavy PPE in poor weather to avoid anyone else.
I worry for there overall well-being and health to be inside for this long now

@ChunkyKitKat123

This thread has been eye opening, I don't know anyone like this. Life is pretty much back to normal as far as I'm concerned (except the masks), and everyone around me seems to feel the same way.

Apart from one friend who won't do anything 'until its safe' I agree its almost normal which a few exceptions and we are definitely living in a better way than a few months ago

Its only that we need to plan in advance a bit more and remember our masks.

I do miss dancing and that frustrates me that even at places with music outside, we have to remain in our seats but hopefully its only a few more weeks

Dd (20yo) spent 12 months inside. Wouldn’t even go in the garden. She is clinically vulnerable (not extremely vulnerable) and wouldn’t go out until she got her first vaccine. She has bad health anxiety and general anxiety.

@Pinkroseuk

My parents in law are exactly the same but they started self isolating when it started in China (late December 2019) Have been out for the odd walk since but only in heavy PPE in poor weather to avoid anyone else. I worry for there overall well-being and health to be inside for this long now

This is exactly what I mean. Not pointing, not judging, not being unable to understand others' life choices (all things I've been accused of doing on this thread). This is so sad and so worrying for your PIL and everyone else who is genuinely living in fear (as opposed to not socialising or having their nails done).

Mental health is a concern but also as you say overall well-being and physical health, too.

It's going to be so difficult for people who are affected to go back to working in a busy office, using public transport, and so on. Not to mention all the things which aren't 'essential' but make life worth living - interacting with loved ones, cultural stuff, family Christmases, whatever it was they loved doing before but are too fearful to do now.

@CovidCorvid

Dd (20yo) spent 12 months inside. Wouldn’t even go in the garden. She is clinically vulnerable (not extremely vulnerable) and wouldn’t go out until she got her first vaccine. She has bad health anxiety and general anxiety.

I'm CV not CEV and I can totally empathise. I was terrified of going out for a good while but had no choice but to go to the supermarket (we had no delivery slots available here for months). I kept telling myself when I had a vaccine I'd go out more but then early last summer there was talk of the possibility there would never be a vaccine. I was in a bad way and got help but if I'd been able to swerve going out completely I probably would have done.

I can totally see why some people end up feeling this way.

@RuthW

I'm in my 50s. I have not been out socially since it started. I work non patient facing in the NHS in a very covid secure, social distanced venue. I've been double vaccinated since January. I have been into shops probably about three times since Feb 20. I have no desire to go out and I certainly wouldn't go anywhere non essential as I can see the numbers rising at work. It's up to the individual and nothing wrong with wanting to stay in. I certainly don't have any mental health problems. I also visit my parents weekly to drop of their shopping, but always stay and chat in the garden. I've not been inside.

I'm talking about people who haven't been out at all though, not even for work or to pick up shopping, and who don't even have any outside space. People who don't want to socialise and keep their outings minimal but still go to work, see family, go to the shops occasionally are a different kettle of fish. To be honest I can see the appeal in that myself!

My gran hasn't. She is double jabbed and spends her time calling the neighbours names because they have people over and are getting on with life.
I ask her what the point of the jabs were if your going to just stop life anyway?
She won't have it that they are not doing anything wrong.

She is generally quite judgemental and worried about sticking to any rules.

I've mentioned on here before my Mums friend and her husband who have never left their house. Not CEV or anything, and mid sixties.

They didnt even get their vaccine when offered as the only location was a local chemist in their village high street at first which would have meant parking in a small car park and walking in a high street.

We've since had a larger centre open to do vaccines and they booked the latest possible appts to avoid people.

Other than that the only other place they have been is to the vets when their cat got extremely unwell. But it say B was terrified and massively anxious would be an understatement. It's really quite heartbreaking.