Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

'We've not been out since all this started'

455 replies

TheVampiresWife · 29/06/2021 08:04

I heard this yesterday from someone DH works with (they're all wfh). A couple in their late 40s, no health issues with no vulnerabilities, fully vaccinated but 'you can't be too careful'.

They've not left the house apart from their vaccine appointments since the start of the first lockdown.

I understand how worrying it's all been for some people, particularly if you're vulnerable or have health anxiety. But it's so sad that people are this terrified. I wonder how they'll cope when restrictions end. The MH fallout from all this is going to be massive, isn't it?

OP posts:
Pootle40 · 29/06/2021 13:28

@TheVampiresWife

I heard this yesterday from someone DH works with (they're all wfh). A couple in their late 40s, no health issues with no vulnerabilities, fully vaccinated but 'you can't be too careful'.

They've not left the house apart from their vaccine appointments since the start of the first lockdown.

I understand how worrying it's all been for some people, particularly if you're vulnerable or have health anxiety. But it's so sad that people are this terrified. I wonder how they'll cope when restrictions end. The MH fallout from all this is going to be massive, isn't it?

Might as well be dead.
MistressoftheDarkSide · 29/06/2021 13:37

Very interesting thread.

It is all quite the conundrum.

In fact there is a book about the way fear has been used to "encourage compliance" which I am loath to mention because talking about it leads to a bun fight and deletion if threads.

But suffice to say, the messaging we have received around the pandemic from on high was designed to achieve exactly this sort of response with little thought as to how it could be reversed when risk reduced.

I wasn't immune to the fear of the virus myself when it all kicked off. My Mum was in the last month of her life (terminal cancer) and to start with the anxiety around her ending up alone in a hospital dying with Covid on top was nauseating. I wore a mask and gloves and followed shielding rules. When it was unsafe for her to remain in her home which I couldn't move into due to lack if space and shielding recommendations, the hoops we had to go through to get her into our spare room was ensuite left me also terrified she would be taken away because technically we broke the rules according to Macmillan. Her GP had to get her into hospital for 24 hours for "stabilisation" and then she could be released to my house. Unnecessary and pretty traumatic for a dying woman and for me.

As time went on, in fact after the first month it so of the first lockdown, and people weren't dropping in the streets, I thought things would become rational. I watched the numbers and relaxed a bit.

For me the fear transferred from the virus to the compliance of the rules and the vitriolic behaviour of other people, especially online. This is one of the things that bothers me. We were forced into digital interaction, and could never escape the reminders that the virus is real and imminent death was the price to pay for minor infractions.

I've been going out and doing normal stuff since the middle of last year when possible, but those periods when restrictions were at their highest had the oddest effect. Rationally I was happy to be out - but the first time we went to the Range I lasted about 30 minutes and had a bit of a panic attack in the car park - and that's really not me. It was big and overwhelming and felt "wrong". But I knew what I was doing was legitimate and within the rules.

Since then I've found out so much about how we have been manipulated and how disproportionate it has been so my fear is replaced with a simmering rage and lack if trust in the government. Being treated like a naughty stupid child has brought out the worst in me. I'm sure this too will pass.

As far as I'm concerned blame lies in one direction, and it's not with people who took everything so seriously because they were effectively brainwashed into it. Yes, support and a new campaign is needed to help undo this damage, but recovery will take longer than we'd like I think, especially as the virus is still a bigger threat for some, and others think their sole responsibility is to worry about it just as much.

HelloMissus · 29/06/2021 13:42

Ordering deliveries from Amazon is very safe indeed.
Although not for the poor buggers forced to work on zero hours contracts picking an oh-so-essential item every 30 seconds in their fulfilment centres.
Or the delivery drivers working on less than the minimum wage.

Permanganate · 29/06/2021 13:45

@HelloMissus

Ordering deliveries from Amazon is very safe indeed. Although not for the poor buggers forced to work on zero hours contracts picking an oh-so-essential item every 30 seconds in their fulfilment centres. Or the delivery drivers working on less than the minimum wage.
FGS this has been done to death. Even critical care nurses rely on Amazon. No-one is forced to undertake a particular job in a free country. Everyone sets their own level of risk.
Temp023 · 29/06/2021 13:47

How have people got the message that the thing is that bloody dangerous, I don’t believe that was ever even the implication from anything put out on public information platforms.
People stop their risk assessment at the worse possible outcome, they never get as far as the actual possibility of the outcome happening.
However, the more people staying indoors the less crowded places are, so let them crack on is what I say.

Permanganate · 29/06/2021 13:47

last time I checked there were no slaves at Amazon or Tesco.
Delivery drivers and online shopping pickers were not the only people working during the pandemic.
Highly education and well-off doctors worked and were exposed to Covid, as were relatively well-educated albeit underpaid nurses.
And they made abundant use of online shopping and Amazon - was that permitted? Do you judge them too?

sqirrelfriends · 29/06/2021 13:49

I know a couple like this.

They do go for walks but haven't seen anyone or done anything (apparently) since the first lockdown. They even pulled their child out of nursery as it was "too much of a risk" to leave him in.

HelloMissus · 29/06/2021 13:49

No one ‘relies’ on Amazon. Plenty of us refuse to use them and our world has not ended.
People use them because they don’t give a shit about the way workers are treated in areas where there is little other work.

rooarsome · 29/06/2021 13:51

Sounds like my parents (60s). They always liked their own space but that combined with fear and an unhealthy obsession with the Daily Mail has turned them into hermits. They've barely stirred from their home, which is in the middle of nowhere as it is with no close neighbours.

Permanganate · 29/06/2021 13:51

The rate of infection among Amazon and supermarket pickers and delivery drivers did not outrank that of healthcare and social care staff.
It was not about money and only the low-paid being exposed. A range of people across society put themselves at risk of Covid to continue to do their jobs.
Hundreds of doctors and nurses and healthcare assistants and social care workers died of Covid.
It was not just about online shopping and the rich keeping themselves safe while the low-paid were forced to get infected. That is total rubbish and very insulting to the NHS and other key workers who happen not be on NMW.

TheVampiresWife · 29/06/2021 13:53

No-one is forced to undertake a particular job in a free country

I take it you've never been on UC and been told if you don't take a job, you'll be sanctioned, eh.

OP posts:
cupsofcoffee · 29/06/2021 13:53

No-one is forced to undertake a particular job in a free country. Everyone sets their own level of risk.

So how else are people supposed to pay their bills, rent and feed their families?

Not everyone has the luxury of choice. People who were laid off in March (so no chance of furlough) had to work somewhere!

ifIwerenotanandroid · 29/06/2021 13:54

@HelloMissus

Ordering deliveries from Amazon is very safe indeed. Although not for the poor buggers forced to work on zero hours contracts picking an oh-so-essential item every 30 seconds in their fulfilment centres. Or the delivery drivers working on less than the minimum wage.
So what's your solution?

Let's all stop going to the supermarket, then supermarket staff won't be at risk from us or from each other, & nobody will have to work in warehousing or digging up vegetables or picking fruit or any other low paid work. We can just forage for ourselves (socially distanced).

Or should we all stop getting deliveries, & several million extra people can then pile into the supermarkets instead, increasing infections for everybody & putting more pressure on the NHS?

HelloMissus · 29/06/2021 13:56

There are plenty of companies doing deliveries ethically.
Amazon is not one of them.

DeathByWalkies · 29/06/2021 14:02

and IME, (professional) there gets to be a point where they can't and then the gradual unnoticed deterioration becomes evident. The downward spiral isn't triggered by the failure to keep going (although to the outsider it may look that way) what has actually happened is that the keeping going foundation has become more and more unstable until one day the whole thing collapses. Relatives say something like "but only last week/month he/she was doing xxx/going to yyy" and so on. I don't think that covid has done any of us any favours, all I am saying is that its quite possible that this particular lady (and others like her) may not have been victims of lockdown.

Indeed - I think you're also right.

It would be fascinating to know on a population level what effect it's had, as obviously a sample size of 1 is meaningless. But I don't see how you could separate it out from other factors - for instance, a rise in demand for domicilliary / residential care could be because people have held off receiving that sort of care for as long as possible, for fear of catching covid. Likewise due to the death toll the number of people who are currently receiving domiciliary / residential care has presumably decreased, because they've died.

Part of the 'need to keep going' bit is related to those in early retirement - people who retire from work one day, sit down in an armchair the next, and don't really develop any new interests are surely going to decline faster.

Permanganate · 29/06/2021 14:02

Well this thread has taken a bad downturn.

I didn't mean to derail it, just took issue with one poster's glib one-liner about only the low-paid having to work and be exposed during lockdowns, which disregards the entire range of staff in the NHS from top to bottom, teachers etc (I know there are more, these are just examples). Didn't mean to get into the rights and wrongs of UC!

Was the thread about people with MH issues not able to resume 'normal' activities just a ruse to bash people getting online deliveries from people forced to work during the pandemic?

summerishere1 · 29/06/2021 14:04

Their immune system will be shit if they haven’t gone out in that long.

DdraigGoch · 29/06/2021 14:05

I noticed that when the first lockdown was lifted, friends who had been furloughed (no at risk factors) were extremely nervous. Those of us who had been working in public throughout however were much more relaxed.

lap90 · 29/06/2021 14:06

Were they the type to really go out anyway?
My neighbours are like this but then they didn't really go out pre-covid.

HelloMissus · 29/06/2021 14:07

Oh give over.
Not ‘bashing’ anyone. But nor am I going to just smile and nod at the use of Amazon by middle class people pretending that it’s about keeping safe or necessity. When actually it’s about buying mostly unnecessary shite without giving a fuck for the conditions of those who have to work there.

QwertyGirly · 29/06/2021 14:10

Some people don't go out of their house because they are scared of pigeons. Some don't go out because they are germaphobe. Some don't go out because they are agoraphobic. It happens. Not a big deal.

shewalkslikerihanna · 29/06/2021 14:19

@MistressoftheDarkSide
Good post and I’m so sorry to hear what you went through
I’m pleased you got to spend time with your mum
I’m glad we haven’t watched the news for about 2 years now so the fear posed us by
Yes I have the book you mentioned

shewalkslikerihanna · 29/06/2021 14:23

My cousin is the same
She’s had a heart op and doesn’t go out
My dh has a heart condition but we are out and about as much as possible
Making the most of life while we can

MistressoftheDarkSide · 29/06/2021 14:26

Thank you @shewalkslikerihanna x I was lucky in a few ways, and am grateful for that.

It's a good book isn't it?

summerishere1 · 29/06/2021 14:29

@DdraigGoch I noticed the same. A bit comical at times actually..

Swipe left for the next trending thread