Covid-19 Getting The Better of You Yet?

[DadAManger]

I am a fairly positive person usually. My approach to Covid so far has been to "get on" as there is "nothing else we can do" - which I know is still true, but WTF I am running on empty now.

I have worked from home throughout the pandemic - not furloughed. My work day is longer than ever - 12 hours is the new normal and you are constantly feeling on edge for what else you need to be doing. Between the increased work, the non-stop emails, the lockdown and home-schooling spurts, the zoom fatigue and the struggling to stay on top of your gam, it has been a hard hard slog.

Now it will continue longer. I was supposed to relocate to the Continent a year ago - this keeps being pushed back, especially now we are seen as the sick man of Europe again. I know my MH is not what is should be, but have not faced this before and don't know what to do on that front either.

I know many people will say I am "lucky" to keep my job and still be busy and to have avoided getting sick so far, but really - WTF - it is really a struggle at the moment. Is Covid getting the better of anyone else now or is this just me (and a few others I see crumbling)?

Yes we have lost perspective. I also hate the way the government uses 'the science' (as if it is one thing) to avoid making balanced decisions. Scientists will tell you what they believe based on the evidence they have and the methods they use. They know they might not be right (especially the modellers) and there is no consequence for them if they are wrong. It is up to the government to make balanced decisions that take into consideration the harms of not removing restrictions.

If hardly anyone is dying and hospitals have capacity and the vast majority have antibodies then why can't the balance be towards normality? Why is that not seen as important? Why is the balance always towards minimising risk even though that in itself causes other problems.

I feel as if we will waste the summer being cautious when this is the best time to allow people to mingle. If we hold off the 4 weeks and the situation is no better - what then?

@wasthataburp

Oh and take off the masks. If the "leaders" don't need them then why do we?

Well I'm not going to extensively trawl through mumsnet @Nerdygirl, but this was the post before I posted, and its an attitude I've seen here and in real life.

@Swirlingasong
I cannot begin to express how scary this is or how lonely it is being the only person worrying about a child catching covid

You are not alone, ds shielded for most of the year on the advice of his drs...we are just hoping, as he is now back in school, that he will be allowed the vaccine off licence (he is 11)

WFH has had the worst impact on my mental health. I now work in an empty office because it's preferable to being locked up like some kind of prisoner in my bedroom for 23 hours a day and having anxiety attack after anxiety attack. Fuck this shit.

My husband’s work made lots of redundancies and are now trying to run the business as usual, just with less staff. They are all mostly still WFH and I think they have lost sight of one another as people; they’re just all 2D images on a screen. They’re all terse and shouty and little wonder when they’re working 12-14hr days.

I’m better now that the children’s activities have started up. I found their unhappiness, and homeschooling, pretty unbearable.

[quote HazeyJaneII]@Swirlingasong
I cannot begin to express how scary this is or how lonely it is being the only person worrying about a child catching covid

You are not alone, ds shielded for most of the year on the advice of his drs...we are just hoping, as he is now back in school, that he will be allowed the vaccine off licence (he is 11)[/quote]
Thanks, Hazey, I really hope your ds is able to have it soon. Mine is a fair bit younger so not much hope for us for a long while.

@Nerdygirl

I am worried as society has lost all sense of perspective and we are allowing so much control on the basis of so very little risk. We have vaccines , we have extremely low deaths, very low admissions to hospitals yet we have still have restrictions . We are vaccinating people with no long term data and going beyond what we said and any challenge around this is not heard or quickly shut down. We are accepting high number of side effects and everyone seems to think this is totally acceptable!!

We don’t question the hypocritical things we see such as no social distancing , no mask wearing , flying in on private jets to talk about sustainability . Crowds of people around a 95 year old grandmother but we still have to follow the rules and do this . I would say the behavioural team have done a fantastic job on us

So much agreement with this. The level of risk will never be 0 in our society,but so many have now been conditioned to believe this

We also seem to think that 22,000 people crowded into Wembley (allowing this was a condition of UEFA allowing the U.K. to host Euro matches) is fine, when continuing with restrictions on normal life is also acceptable.

We need to get back to normality.

@Cripesitsthegasman19

WFH has had the worst impact on my mental health. I now work in an empty office because it's preferable to being locked up like some kind of prisoner in my bedroom for 23 hours a day and having anxiety attack after anxiety attack. Fuck this shit.

Me too. I’m allowed back in office too but unless I can find out if others are in (which makes me sound like a weirdo) I will just sitting there in a huge open plan office on my own. I didn’t mind that last time, it was just the change of scenery I needed. This time, however, it’s the people and buzz of the office I am missing. I’ve had 1 or 2 days when it’s been quite busy and it was just glorious to see everyone… popping in to each other’s meeting rooms to say hi etc.

And I am an introvert!

@Nappyvalley15

Yes we have lost perspective. I also hate the way the government uses 'the science' (as if it is one thing) to avoid making balanced decisions. Scientists will tell you what they believe based on the evidence they have and the methods they use. They know they might not be right (especially the modellers) and there is no consequence for them if they are wrong. It is up to the government to make balanced decisions that take into consideration the harms of not removing restrictions.

If hardly anyone is dying and hospitals have capacity and the vast majority have antibodies then why can't the balance be towards normality? Why is that not seen as important? Why is the balance always towards minimising risk even though that in itself causes other problems.

I feel as if we will waste the summer being cautious when this is the best time to allow people to mingle. If we hold off the 4 weeks and the situation is no better - what then?

The problem is, can they actually quantify the detrimental effects of lockdown? Where are the people ‘modelling’ numbers for people losing their jobs/families/mental health etc? How can they compare risk vs reward unless they do this?

[quote fedup078]@MushMonster I actually felt
Like things were looking up after feeling
Like this too. So I went away for a day with a friend last weekend. First time away in years. We sat in beer gardens and kept away from others. A few days later I get a notice to self isolate. So that's me back in the sodding house [/quote]
This is why I still won't visit pubs or cafes.

I'm very like MushMonster too, prefer being at home to mingling with people.

Yes, yes it is.

And I know in many ways I am so fortunate. Not lost anybody to covid, nobody close at-risk who's unable to be vaccinated (although a couple of people who probably won't have much protection from vaccines, so worried about them and appreciate how much better I have it). Have job, house, family. Live in a country with a great vaccine rollout. Bit concerned about delta, but mostly concerned about what it could potentially do in parts of the world where vaccines are scarcer. Lucky. I know.

But I feel the last 15(?) months have just broken something in me, or run down some capacity somewhere to zero. The school and nursery closures in particular, WFH while homeschooling and looking after a toddler with sad stressed kids, horrible. And it's better than that now but it's still so relentlessly grim and dull and flat and maybe I'd have more ability to cope with that without the year before it, but I don't feel like I have much now.

So fed up. Fed up of half of everything still being closed or postponed or not allowed. Fed up of WFH meaning longer days and no separation between my work and the rest of me. I sleep with my work laptop right next to my bed, it's the first thing I see when I wake up. Fed up of masks that steam up my glasses. Fed up of church with half the seats taped off and hand sanitiser where the holy water used to be. Fed up of not being able to do anything spontaneous. Fed up of everyone having their own 'rules' and getting told off for not keeping to them - thanks, bus driver who told me off for sitting next to my husband because "everyone has to sit on their own and THAT MEANS YOU".

Fed up of how arbitrary it is. (6000 football fans on Glasgow Green, fine; 30 preschoolers and parents outdoors for a nursery graduation/goodbye, forbidden.) Fed up of how the standard expectation now seems to be that of course we'll have government guidance detailing every social interaction you can think of (who's allowed to dance with who at weddings!).

Fed up of watching my most anti-Brexit, 'we're all citizens of the world now!' friends clamouring for closed borders from everywhere pretty much indefinitely while not talking at all about crowded workplaces and low-paid jobs and inadequate statutory sick pay, because who cares about that, and travel's just about holidays as far as they're concerned so what's the big deal. Fed up of the blinkered privilege of so many people who think it's absolutely brilliant that they get to sit at home while poorer people bring them stuff. Fed up of my better-off colleagues with no small children talking to their teams about how great it is to work from their garden offices, neither realising nor caring how many people in their management chain are sharing crowded flats and working out of their bedrooms. Fed up of all of it.

Like I said, maybe I'd manage this better if it wasn't for the past 15 months using up all the reserves I have, but i'm so ground down and so deeply sad these days.

GoldenOmber, your post sums up so much so well.

I completely agree.

GoldenOmber I agree - your post is spot on.

I agree Golden Omber

I am 100% completely and utterly spent.

On Thursday I got a call from school to collect my 5 year old as there's been a positive case in her class. Keeping a 5 year old in 10 days of self-isolation while trying to work FT (from home) is just horrific. I feel like I'm back in spring 2020 again, a time I still feel traumatised by.

Like pp, I feel like I'm just staggering through each day on autopilot, numb and flat.

I’ve Just come back from London, no one seems bothered anymore, hardly anyone wearing masks, no one jumping out the way if you got to close. I went in 2 separate restaurants/bars sat outside, no one asked for my contact details. I went on a boat trip it was packed, I was outside on upper deck, nobody wearing masks and packed in like sardines.

or “decanting “ patients as it was called

This phrase is used regarding social housing tenants as well. Over the past few years ive noticed many parallels re. the NHS and social housing.

Very low mood here too. In Scotland and no sign of the work from home rule being relaxed. I cant do it any longer.

Agree with every word of your post, GoldenOmber.

I think it has got the better of me. Even having done one or 2 things I would not have done in the period of strong restrictions that are 'nice', I am bitter and angry the rest of the time. Especially when schlepping to do things that take a lot of self-persuasion.

So it is confirmed that the Indian variant is leading to a rise in cases again and there will be a delay to the July 21st unlocking.

The part I struggle with the way this is all business as usual now - we have to pretend that we are all OK and doing well and on top of it all, especially in relation to our work for those of us that are WFH and busy. Keep the facade going longer. Maybe I should feel ‘lucky’, but Ireally do not.

I feel quite deflated by the news today too OP, sorry that you’re struggling with it all too.

I’ve just had to send messages round to cancel DDs birthday party for the second year running, and will have to cancel our staycation with my family as we’re 7 people rather than 6. They were the only two things I had to properly look forward to.

I know it’s a luxury problem and other people have it much worse, but I just feel so defeated by this constant cycle of disappointment.

To those struggling- you have my sympathy.

My small piece of advice is to try and stay away from the Coronavirus threads for a while and perhaps stay away from the news for a few days, it really does help.

Today’s announcement is disappointing but it’s far better than us reopening and then having to close down again harder a week or two later because the numbers got worse. There isn’t really a lot we can do to change this, acceptance is key to finding your mojo again even if it seems like the hardest thing to do.

I personally don’t mind the current restrictions - to me it seems like my life has gone back to relative normality aside from mask wearing. We can see people again and go out socialising. I enjoy WFH and feel like my work life balance has massively improved since I’ve been away from the office.

As a PP said, I find exercise really helps on those low mood days. I struggled during the full lockdown and it’s amazing how much better you feel after exercising.

I can totally understand why some people are still struggling, especially those with children who have missed out on so much but I don’t think threats of non-compliance are going to help anybody.

I lost a family member to COVID last year and I think when it impacts you personally your attitude towards the restrictions does change. I’ve tended to find the people vehemently against the restrictions are the lucky ones who don’t know anybody that’s had COVID.