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Original poster

Newborn meeting family

100 replies

FebruaryJuly · 23/05/2021 07:31

Hello,

Today is my due date for our second baby (no sign yet though).

I want to ask, is it unreasonable for us to ask for family members to show proof of a negative Covid result before meeting our newborn, when he arrives?

I know they will all be very eager to meet him and I will want to take my time, but at what point do I become silly, too cautious and unnecessary when thinking about Covid?

There have been newborns in our family in the last year and mum of the newborn wanted to see negative tests but certain family members (my MIL to be exact) voiced negative opinions about it calling them silly. I don't want that to be the case with us, especially since she is our baby's Grandmother, but I do want to see negative tests before they meet him.

OP posts:
Ostryga · 23/05/2021 07:32

I would order some LF tests and get them to take one before they come in. I don’t think that’s too much to ask and I wouldn’t bat an eye at that at all.

Good luck with the birth and hoping you’re having newborn snuggles soon!

happytoday73 · 23/05/2021 07:40

Oh congratulations...

You can pick up lateral glow tests from chemist, testing centres or order online.... Takes 30 minutes for result...people could do test outside yours, go for walk and then come in when clear.

It's not that accurate but better than nothing if you are concerned.
In reality it probably is a bit over the top, so there will likely be grumbles, but it's your baby and i fully understand you want to be protected.

I'd use new variant as excuse. And need to avoid being stuck in house for 10 days if have to isolate even If don't get disease
Good luck!

MiddleParking · 23/05/2021 07:42

Personally yes I think that would be unreasonable and a very cold way to treat family.

Ostryga · 23/05/2021 07:52

@MiddleParking

Personally yes I think that would be unreasonable and a very cold way to treat family.
Oh give over. Op will have a days old baby, show me one parent that isn’t wildly protective at that age. It’s takes nothing for her family to just take a test.
MiddleParking · 23/05/2021 07:53

Give over responding to the question the OP asked? No Confused

MiddleParking · 23/05/2021 07:55

And I can assure you I could show you lots and lots of parents and expectant parents who wouldn’t dream of asking such a thing, myself included.

Ostryga · 23/05/2021 08:01

Good for you @MiddleParking, your medal will be with you soon.

Original poster
FebruaryJuly · 23/05/2021 08:02

To be honest, there are certain family members who I would feel much more confident in them not taking a test before hand than others, but ironically, they are the ones that are happy to take a test and have said they will do even though we haven't even asked anybody to.

Many take a test twice a week for their occupation anyway, which is fine! There are just some family members who I know gather loads, go to parties including the trial mass gatherings that are taking place at the moment and have never followed the guidelines anyway, these are the ones that make me feel nervous about it all, particularly with a newborn baby.

I don't see any reason why I am being "cold"...

OP posts:
HeadintheClouds20 · 23/05/2021 08:04

I think it's perfectly reasonable. When my baby was born last year, we didn't have the option of private tests so we just didn't allow anyone to see her. If it had been an option, I absolutely would have asked to see negative tests.
The last thing you want postpartum is added anxiety or stress about covid. Your family shouldn't want that for you either and should happily take a test if they want to see your baby.

ItsSnowJokes · 23/05/2021 08:04

I wouldn't have a problem at all with doing an LFT. You can guarantee that some will moan, but is it really that much of a hard ship? It takes minutes to do, isn't that uncomfortable and to protect the newest member of the family is totally reasonable.

OloBo · 23/05/2021 08:07

I would have absolutely no problem taking a LFT in order to know I was keeping a baby safe and their parents comfortable. Even if the risk is low.

MiddleParking · 23/05/2021 08:08

@FebruaryJuly

To be honest, there are certain family members who I would feel much more confident in them not taking a test before hand than others, but ironically, they are the ones that are happy to take a test and have said they will do even though we haven't even asked anybody to.

Many take a test twice a week for their occupation anyway, which is fine! There are just some family members who I know gather loads, go to parties including the trial mass gatherings that are taking place at the moment and have never followed the guidelines anyway, these are the ones that make me feel nervous about it all, particularly with a newborn baby.

I don't see any reason why I am being "cold"...

Ah well, you asked. Clearly your MIL and I think one way on this and you think another. That’s life.
Roseability18 · 23/05/2021 08:09

In the same position - we have asked family to do a LFT and said the midwife recommended it (little fib) so we seen less like the demanding ones. Even if little one is unlikely to get ill with Covid, would be pretty awful if the rest of us got it while looking after a newborn on minimal sleep!

Original poster
FebruaryJuly · 23/05/2021 08:11

@MiddleParking I feel it would be much more cold of me to say no to seeing him at all rather than to allow them to see him as long as they have taken a LF test... to me, different family members are different risks depending on their day to day activities and it just so turns out that her household is the highest risk...

OP posts:
cornflake12 · 23/05/2021 08:13

It's totally up to you and your right to ask that.
Personally if I was asked to do a test first I wouldn't come and visit and wait until you felt the situation was safer.

Good luck with the birth of your baby Thanks

thecatwithnoeyes · 23/05/2021 08:16

It's a bit over bearing and controlling.

If you were worried about people meeting your baby because of Covid, wait until things are less risky. You can't dictate other people test to meet a baby. A baby btw that is the centre of your world, not theirs.

MiddleParking · 23/05/2021 08:16

[quote FebruaryJuly]@MiddleParking I feel it would be much more cold of me to say no to seeing him at all rather than to allow them to see him as long as they have taken a LF test... to me, different family members are different risks depending on their day to day activities and it just so turns out that her household is the highest risk... [/quote]
Well, yes, but those aren’t the only two options. The decision is for you and your husband, it’s your house and your baby, but you can’t control what other people think of it. Personally I would think you’re being silly and apparently so will your MIL.

Temp023 · 23/05/2021 08:19

I would request they take a test but I wouldn’t be requesting proof, that’s saying that you don’t trust them.

Original poster
FebruaryJuly · 23/05/2021 08:19

To be honest, I know that they would be much more annoyed for us to say for them not to meet him until Covid had died down more. I suppose the ball is in their court then, they either take the LF test to make us feel safer, or wait! That's then their own decision and means that we are not restricting anybody from meeting him Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
FebruaryJuly · 23/05/2021 08:20

@Temp023 sorry, I know I said "proof" in my original post but I would be happy and trust their word for it. I suppose I just meant for them themselves to be as sure as they can

OP posts:
thecatwithnoeyes · 23/05/2021 08:21

@FebruaryJuly

To be honest, I know that they would be much more annoyed for us to say for them not to meet him until Covid had died down more. I suppose the ball is in their court then, they either take the LF test to make us feel safer, or wait! That's then their own decision and means that we are not restricting anybody from meeting him Smile

You definitely are restricting them. You can't tell them they need a test or can't see baby then turn round and say you didn't put restrictions Confused

This is you who is implementing the test or don't see.

MiddleParking · 23/05/2021 08:24

I mean, that literally is a restriction. That’s what the word restriction means. If your husband is fine with his mum only being allowed to see his child under restrictions, then happy days for you.

Original poster
FebruaryJuly · 23/05/2021 08:25

@thecatwithnoeyes surely if their household has been in and out of parties every weekend and going to all of the non-socially distancing trial events, I have the right!.. Grin

OP posts:
Lucidas · 23/05/2021 08:26

Taking a lateral flow test to meet a newborn and their parents isn’t a big deal unless you’ve got precious ego issues.

Original poster
FebruaryJuly · 23/05/2021 08:27

@MiddleParking you are making out it's just MIL when it's not haha! I wouldn't ask only one person to do it, it's the same for all. I think any family member should understand that.

OP posts:
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