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Original poster

Newborn meeting family

100 replies

FebruaryJuly · 23/05/2021 07:31

Hello,

Today is my due date for our second baby (no sign yet though).

I want to ask, is it unreasonable for us to ask for family members to show proof of a negative Covid result before meeting our newborn, when he arrives?

I know they will all be very eager to meet him and I will want to take my time, but at what point do I become silly, too cautious and unnecessary when thinking about Covid?

There have been newborns in our family in the last year and mum of the newborn wanted to see negative tests but certain family members (my MIL to be exact) voiced negative opinions about it calling them silly. I don't want that to be the case with us, especially since she is our baby's Grandmother, but I do want to see negative tests before they meet him.

OP posts:
Icequeen01 · 23/05/2021 08:33

Yes I would take one if asked but I do worry that people put so much trust in these LFDs. We have to do them at work and 12 of us caught Covid and it didn't pick up one of us and we had been testing 3 times a week.

MotherOfCrocodiles · 23/05/2021 08:34

I would do it if you asked me to. But I'd be thinking to myself that you were being precious. And given that you will have been in hospital there is probably more chance you could infect them....!

thecatwithnoeyes · 23/05/2021 08:35

[quote FebruaryJuly]@thecatwithnoeyes surely if their household has been in and out of parties every weekend and going to all of the non-socially distancing trial events, I have the right!.. Grin[/quote]

I didn't say you have no right (you don't btw)

What I said was don't claim that you are not slapping on a restriction when you absolutely areZ

Own it for what it is. Your choice.

SugarCoatIt · 23/05/2021 08:36

@MiddleParking i think you've made your opinion quite clear, I don't think you need to keep restating it to the OP to get your point across.

OP, I feel exactly the same as you, I know quite a few people who have had Covid, one of DH friends has had the vaccine, both lots, and tested positive but asymptomatic. I'm very wary for when the baby comes.

At the end of the day, we've all to do what we are comfortable with, and if this is what you're comfortable with then go with it.

ArchbishopOfBanterbury · 23/05/2021 08:38

I think I'd be a little less cautious and say its only for those who aren't vaccinated. I assume MIL is old enough to have been offered the vaccine, so if she's an antivaxxer who won't test - damn right she won't see my newborn.

Ohshitiveturnedintomymother · 23/05/2021 08:41

@FebruaryJuly my dc was born Monday and were asking everyone who comes into the house/wants a cuddle to take a lft and to wear a mask when holding. I don’t think you can be too careful with tiny ones and their immune system. Masks also mean no kissing which avoids passing on anything else eg cold sores to the baby.

Everyone has taken one for me and not told me to my face that I’m being precious. If they are that bothered then they don’t have to visit or can meet us outside while I hold the baby/they are in a pram

Moondust001 · 23/05/2021 08:43

You can decide what you want. But I would tell you to take a hike and be quite ok with not seeing the baby (and you). Will you be checking people for all other infectious diseases, many of which are more threatening to a baby, or just this one? If you wish to do this then that's your choice. But remember not to complain when people don't really care about seeing you or the baby in the future; or take it offensive at your judging them or demanding to monitor their health.

OliveTree75 · 23/05/2021 08:46

@Moondust001

You can decide what you want. But I would tell you to take a hike and be quite ok with not seeing the baby (and you). Will you be checking people for all other infectious diseases, many of which are more threatening to a baby, or just this one? If you wish to do this then that's your choice. But remember not to complain when people don't really care about seeing you or the baby in the future; or take it offensive at your judging them or demanding to monitor their health.
Completely agree with this
Boboparadise · 23/05/2021 08:51

We have a new baby born in Nov 2020. Very close family and I have yet to met her and I totally understand and I'm happy to wait until it's safe for everyone. YANBU

Ohshitiveturnedintomymother · 23/05/2021 08:53

Well I would expect people to not come over in normal times if they had coughs/colds/flu/cold sores etc and this is it’s an extension of that. What is asymptomatic to one person is it to another. Isn’t that what we’re being told at the moment? Just because we CAN hug now doesn’t mean COVID has vanished

MiddleParking · 23/05/2021 08:53

[quote SugarCoatIt]@MiddleParking i think you've made your opinion quite clear, I don't think you need to keep restating it to the OP to get your point across.

OP, I feel exactly the same as you, I know quite a few people who have had Covid, one of DH friends has had the vaccine, both lots, and tested positive but asymptomatic. I'm very wary for when the baby comes.

At the end of the day, we've all to do what we are comfortable with, and if this is what you're comfortable with then go with it.[/quote]
I don’t care what you think Smile

Ohshitiveturnedintomymother · 23/05/2021 08:54

The LFT test etc is for people who are coming in the house and wanting to hold the baby. If it’s an outdoor meet-up then I am less concerned as there won’t be the sitting breathing all over them.

And tbh anyone who is that bothered clearly isn’t that bothered about me or the baby so isn’t much of a loss

AppleJane · 23/05/2021 09:03

OP hope all goes well for you Thanks

It's perfectly reasonable to ask them to test and in that position I would want to keep you and the baby safe.

I second the white lie idea of saying the midwife suggested it.

amylou8 · 23/05/2021 09:11

I think you're being way over the top. But your PFB your rules. If they don't like it no one's forcing them to visit.

Lucidas · 23/05/2021 09:11

@Moondust001

You can decide what you want. But I would tell you to take a hike and be quite ok with not seeing the baby (and you). Will you be checking people for all other infectious diseases, many of which are more threatening to a baby, or just this one? If you wish to do this then that's your choice. But remember not to complain when people don't really care about seeing you or the baby in the future; or take it offensive at your judging them or demanding to monitor their health.
Ego. That’s all there is in your attitude.

‘We never visited you as a newborn during a pandemic because your parents asked us to take a 2 minute test.”

MRex · 23/05/2021 09:15

Have you been vaccinated and are you breastfeeding? Personally that would be what would make me most comfortable, knowing the baby had some antibodies. I wouldn't bother with tests for anyone vaccinated at least. If someone asked me to though, then no offence taken, you just do whatever makes the parents comfortable when it's a newborn.

VoyageInTheDark · 23/05/2021 09:33

I'm due my second baby in a week and I won't be asking people to test before meeting her. Both sets of grandparents have been double vaccinated and most other family and friends will have had one. I know grandparents would think I was crazy and would be hugely offended if I made them test.

Ostryga · 23/05/2021 09:39

@amylou8

I think you're being way over the top. But your PFB your rules. If they don't like it no one's forcing them to visit.
It’s her second baby. Does help if you actually read the op.
BooblePlate · 23/05/2021 09:48

I would do as asked to see a baby and wouldn’t say anything even if I thought it was OTT. I had a baby this time last year and I would not have made such requirements myself.

It’s worth noting that if you are giving birth in hospital or attending medical centres you and the baby are probably more of a risk to others in terms of having and passing on covid than the other way round.

Tiffanny · 23/05/2021 10:17

Noooooooooo

Tiffanny · 23/05/2021 10:17

No you can't ask that: it's totally unreasonable

InpatientGardener · 23/05/2021 10:26

I really don't get the issue with this. LF tests are easily available, take minutes to do, people are using them to safeguard others in loads of situations. DP has to do them twice weekly for work and there isn't even anyone vulnerable in his office. I don't understand how asking this of family is offensive. If I was asked, I'd just do it if that's what makes the parents feel comfortable. Its the sensible thing to do IMO.

amicissimma · 23/05/2021 15:18

If I had to hop backwards round the garden singing some stupid song I would do it if that reassured the mother of a grandchild. For a more distant relative I would probably wait to visit until everyone is more confident.

But, since you asked, I think for a vaccinated grandparent you are being OTT.

Pootle40 · 23/05/2021 15:45

I can honestly say this wouldn't even cross my mind.

Remmy123 · 23/05/2021 15:48

Totally ridiculous

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