Newborn meeting family

[FebruaryJuly]

Hello,

Today is my due date for our second baby (no sign yet though).

I want to ask, is it unreasonable for us to ask for family members to show proof of a negative Covid result before meeting our newborn, when he arrives?

I know they will all be very eager to meet him and I will want to take my time, but at what point do I become silly, too cautious and unnecessary when thinking about Covid?

There have been newborns in our family in the last year and mum of the newborn wanted to see negative tests but certain family members (my MIL to be exact) voiced negative opinions about it calling them silly. I don't want that to be the case with us, especially since she is our baby's Grandmother, but I do want to see negative tests before they meet him.

There’s clearly a certain group of people on here, where are all the other views?

LFTs are designed for checking before seeing people/appointments etc, what on earth is the harm in asking people to take one to be on the safe side?

I’ve seen countless threads on here in the past with mums all saying that it’s completely your prerogative now and when family meet a new baby, with some not having visitors for weeks. When there’s a pandemic and a new baby, mums will want to be as safe as possible, and this is one way they can feel better about exposing their tiny baby with no immune system to their family.

I’m breastfeeding but not been called for vaccination yet so have nothing to pass in the way of antibodies and the majority of my friends/family work out of the home so are taking tests regularly any way.

If the OP has people in her family group mixing widely and taking part in the trial mass gatherings then I certainly think a LFT is the least people can do.

@Ohshitiveturnedintomymother (I love your username!) excellent post.

I understand feeling protective about a new born and of course I would take one if asked, but I would think you were OTT and precious

what on earth is the harm in asking people to take one to be on the safe side?

There isn't any harm. And if people are half as toxic IRL as they are on here I pity their families. A baby is a family joy, I just don't get the need for snarky feelings over this.

Not unreasonable to ask for lateral flow tests.

Unreasonable to ask for PCR tests as they're supposed to be for symptomatic individuals.

Not unreasonable at all. We are still doing this with family around our 15 month old! I didn’t let anyone near baby when he was born but we didn’t have the free testing back then.

Also, all adults in the UK are encouraged to test twice weekly so I can’t believe anyone is telling you that you’re being ott.

It is completely reasonable for you to ask this. I had a baby last year and no one else touched her for months. Their immune systems can't be very good at such a young age

@Ostryga

I would order some LF tests and get them to take one before they come in. I don’t think that’s too much to ask and I wouldn’t bat an eye at that at all.

Good luck with the birth and hoping you’re having newborn snuggles soon!

I don’t you can expect people to wait on the door step for 30 mins while waiting for the test result.

I had a baby last July before vaccines were a thing. I had no issue with my friends and family coming over and cuddling and holding my baby. To be honest I was thrilled after months of not seeing people to be able to let them experience the joy that a baby brings to but only you as parents but to your loved ones too. I wouldn’t have dreamed of asking people to do a test and wasn’t in the slightest bit worried about anyone giving covid to the baby. I trust my loved ones enough to not come over if they were feeling unwell and that was enough for me. But also it’s worth noting I haven’t been in the slightest bit concerned about catching covid the whole time but I get that everyone is different. I do think a lot of new parents forget that the baby doesn’t just bring them joy but also means the world to loved ones as well which is why I would never be precious about people visiting and holding.

I’m guessing this is a mil issue.

Not unreasonable and I will be asking as much when mine is born. I take LFT weekly for work, it's not a big deal. Most people I know are also taking them weekly anyway, per the government guidance and because they want to help protect vulnerable people.

I genuinely don't even know where all of these anti-LFT people are in real life, do they even really exist!? I don't know of anyone who has a problem with them.

I'd feel it were good riddance to anyone who couldn't be arsed to take a painless 2 minute test to protect my newborn. It's along the same lines of visitors washing their hands before touching a baby, just common sense.

What would you have done before LFTs were a thing, just out of interest?

@BooblePlate

We were in lockdown for most of the months before LFTs were a thing, so baby wouldn't have been able to see anyone anyway.

I didn’t mean you specifically. I have a baby born during the first lockdown. What do you think of someone like me, who allowed grandparents to hold their grandchild during the year before LFTs were available to the general public? A few months before we were allowed bubbles? Dangerously reckless? Putting my baby in unnecessary danger? Evil disgusting rule breaker who was putting others at risk? I’m curious as to what you would have done in my shoes.

To reiterate, I would do LFTs as asked. But the risks during the first few weeks are just as likely to be from the parents and baby to others, if they have attended medical settings like hospitals. Just worth bearing in mind if any visiting friends or family are clinically vulnerable.

@BooblePlate

I didn’t mean you specifically. I have a baby born during the first lockdown. What do you think of someone like me, who allowed grandparents to hold their grandchild during the year before LFTs were available to the general public? A few months before we were allowed bubbles? Dangerously reckless? Putting my baby in unnecessary danger? Evil disgusting rule breaker who was putting others at risk? I’m curious as to what you would have done in my shoes.

@BooblePlate

No, of course not. I think you did what you felt comfortable with in a really difficult situation, the same as I would have done!

Obviously prior to LFT I would have had different options but I still would have done things to make things as safe as possible (eg asking people to wash hands before touching baby, maybe asked people to keep to outdoor visits, etc).

Obviously I wouldn't judge anyone being more or less cautious with their own child s it's very personal. But -- I'd be happy to tell any friends or family not willing to take simple and basic steps to protect a newborn to bugger off.

Not that I can actually imagine anyone doing this in real life, because I really can't.

"Just worth bearing in mind if any visiting friends or family are clinically vulnerable."

Yes of course, and I certainly wouldn't have any elderly or vulnerable family members visiting until around 10 days after we'd returned home. It goes both ways and I'm happy to take steps to protect others in the same way I'd hope they'd be happy to protect me and my family. Luckily all of my family and friends do seem to think similarly -- I'm shocked that so many people on this thread seem so unwilling to protect their own family and friends and I really don't understand it.

Do what makes you feel comfortable

Good luck with the wee one

@Whatshouldicallme

Not unreasonable and I will be asking as much when mine is born. I take LFT weekly for work, it's not a big deal. Most people I know are also taking them weekly anyway, per the government guidance and because they want to help protect vulnerable people.

I genuinely don't even know where all of these anti-LFT people are in real life, do they even really exist!? I don't know of anyone who has a problem with them.

I'd feel it were good riddance to anyone who couldn't be arsed to take a painless 2 minute test to protect my newborn. It's along the same lines of visitors washing their hands before touching a baby, just common sense.

I have a problem with them only in that people put way too much faith in them! I would do one if asked by a new mum but I do worry that lots of people think they don't have the virus if they have a negative result.

I had a baby a year ago but had it been this year I think this a great idea. For me, my fear wasn't so much for my baby (at that time it wasn't thought to affect them much, though obviously would rather they not get it either way), but that I would develop a hacking cough while recovering from a c section, or be feeling terrible while trying to establish breastfeeding etc. I personally hate lfts, find them awful, but would be totally ok with being asked to take one for this (or pretty much any) reason if it makes people feel more comfortable.

I have a 3 wk old nephew. If his parents wanted me to do a lateral flow test before seeing him I would be happy to. Whatever makes his parents comfortable and less worried.

Plus I would hate to accidentally bring Covid to them by visiting when asymptomatically carrying Covid. Even if the baby didn't get it I wouldn't want to make the parents ill.

Lateral flow tests might not find every positive case but I would want to do everything I could to keep them and the new baby safe and healthy.

@Ostryga the op asked a question and @MiddleParking replied, just because it's not the response you would give does not mean you can pick her up on it, very poor form indeed to take on the role of the Mumsnet police

[quote ravelston]**@Ostryga* the op asked a question and @MiddleParking* replied, just because it's not the response you would give does not mean you can pick her up on it, very poor form indeed to take on the role of the Mumsnet police[/quote]
So what are you doing then 🤣🤣🤣

@Ostryga pointing out that the pp answered the ops question, why do you feel it's ok to tell her to "give over" just because her response was different to yours?
Why is your opinion more relevant than theirs?