This is so fucking shit for young people

[ssd]

Yeah i know its shit for everyone before you pounce on me

But imagine being around 20 just now...no pubs, no nightclubs, no jobs around, no buzz in your town centre, no excuse to dress up in something new, or planning your latest night out, meeting your pals and all the excitement of the night ahead.

Its just so fucking shite.

I got the train home tonight from work, Glasgow city centre is a ghost town. Places that were always busy boarded up, of course everything except like of newsagents and tesco's shut. Its Friday night. It was always jumping when i was young, absolutely jumping. It was dead. On the train was a bunch if young boys, playing music a bit too loud, all singing along....going home from the city centre at 6pm!!!!. I could have cried watching them all, a nice sunny evening and the only place they are heading was back to mum and dads, or a local park maybe, i dont know. They were about 18, casual dressed, haircuts, all wanting a good time with their pals and probably hoping to meet a partner if they were single.

Where is the life for these kids???

This has gone on long enough. I dont care if i never see inside a pub again. I've had a brilliant social life at that age. Now they have fuck all.

Its too much.

@HelloMissus

I think a lot of it is down to personality. I’ve two recently graduated and like me and their dad, they kicked the arse out of it. Endless nights of dancing, clubs and sports coming out of their ears. Truly something to look back on with great great fondness. But some of their mates didn’t love it quite so much. Though they don’t seem to be loving the world of work much either.

What does this actually mean? Can you clarify?

@Torvean

I'm sorry but its not the age 18-25 you're talking of i feel sorry for. Its been on an off for 18 months.

I feel sorry for ppl who list relatives and had 12 ar a funeral.

I feel sorry for those who live alone and gave dealt with it alone.

I feel sorry for those that missed their kids year if primary/secondary/ uni.

I can't feel sorry for things that are things they will be able to do again. Its hardly going to cause long term damage

I feel sorry for everybody stuck in the middle of this pandemic, I can't imagine there is any person who hasn't had some form of impact - even if it's tiny. It sucks, but that's the way it is. We've had to do it and thankfully the vast majority of people have stuck with it.

My upset for the late teens/early 20's is that that is the time that generally "coming of age" stuff happens. Yes of course teens have their life ahead, and yes they will eventually be able to do all of the things they missed (apart from possibly proms). However, those young people may have wanted to have done them, like previous generations have, or how they'd hoped. My DS saved for years to have driving lessons, it was the big thing for him. Was counting months until his 17th birthday and his first lesson, on his birthday, was all he wanted. Almost a year on, he's had zero lessons. Yes, it's hardly the end of the world, but it meant something to him. Others in the family did the same, his younger brother likely to do the same. Why is it so unthinkable to imagine he may be disappointed to want that too? He understand why, but doesn't stop his disappointment.

Why are people incapable of putting themselves in another’s shoes?

My dcs were not prom people. They went along, but certainly didn’t do the whole nine yards. However some kids live for the prom - enjoying the dress buying, hair, nails and make-up, the arrival in a stretch limo etc etc. It’s irrelevant whether this prom stuff is a recent US import or whether we find it tacky - a lot of kids were looking forward to it and they will never get a chance to do it again.

My ds was looking forward to his graduation. It is usually a Big Deal. They were offered a virtual one which received a big thumbs down. So no graduation ceremony for him nor many others. That’s it. You can’t have that in the future.

Ds had a graduate (paid!) internship. Kaput. The sector is one of the hardest hit and its revival is a long way off. Finding a job - any job - is hard and there are seemingly hundreds applying for anything.

Students looked forward to university - buying new duvet sets, meeting people and, maybe, studying! But no, they’re in their bedrooms. “Online is perfectly fine” some people smugly declare - but would you at 18 years old have felt the same?

These are all things which a young person wasn’t expecting to be swiped away - and are not things you can do when you’re 45.

I am cev, have not seen my family for 18 months, had to give up my job... and I still think I have it much better than a lot of youngsters.

100% older teens/young 20's are the hardest hit group. I feel so sad for them. Absolutely worse for them than the elderly.

It’s very bleak and we’re only a year in to this. Imagine how things are going to look after a few years of Covid world. It’s very easy to feel quite down about the whole thing, my advice is make the most of what you have and don’t think about what isn’t.

I'm glad my children aren't university age.

Though DH's students 2nd years and above seem fairly happy but there more settled and their lecturers have stepped up - the students have said that some of their flatmates have had little to no interaction all year with their teaching staff and are quite worried and angry.

I've been worried about my Y11 - but on the whole she's handled the stress fairly well and we just need her to get decent enough grades to get to college and move on.

As a parent it's been quite hard watching all the hard won opportunites - trip and actvities - they and us had worked hard to get for them and pay for - they seem to have gone for good and new ones haven't yet materialised.

I'm worried more about one child who hasn't really interacted as much as my others and seems more withdrawn and has given up the one outside thing they did but they'll bounce back as they have us to suppor them doing so.

My children have not been as badly affects as some of their peers.

That said it's been pretty shit for my parents and later on my IL the level of fear they've been living with has certailed their lives and interactions a lot and haven't due to distance seen their DGC for over a year now. Though they themselves have often expressed concerns about younger friends and family who've lost jobs and livelihoods.

I think things will bounce back very possiblely quicker than some expect and everyone including younger people can find new opportunities and get back out socializing.

@pommedeterre

100% older teens/young 20's are the hardest hit group. I feel so sad for them. Absolutely worse for them than the elderly.

This is 100% incorrect. Older people are the ones dying, are they not? Aren't they the hardest hit?

I feel for many people across many demographics, children stuck at home while parents WFH, teenagers who missed a prom, students missing university, parents losing their jobs and therefore stuggling to support their families, adults losing their businesses, older people living alone and unable to see anyone or go anywhere, cev, those that losed loved ones. Those that losed both parents. And really, what is worse, is that many people in the UK, who have been hit hard have still lived through the first global pandemic from a position of prilvege, many people the world over are living through it with additional terrible burdens that we can't really imagine. It's truly a bad time for everyone, but hopefully we will all move forwards.

Here’s some news, @TheClaws - death gets us all. Pandemic or no pandemic, people will come to the end of their lives. It astounds me that people seem unable to grasp this .

The Pil spent the last ten years of their lives not knowing anyone or who they were. Doubly incontinent. Mil screaming in distress unless sedated. Their deaths were not tragedies.

Life is for living, not existing. Especially not existing when you don’t even know you’re existing.

@IrmaFayLear What you said about your PiL is a tragic way for people to exist, not live, in their twilight years. Completely agree with your sentiments, we are all going to die, but we seem unable to face death in a rational way in this country.

IrmaFayLear
It is a tragedy - just of a different type. We are discussing a different type of older people though. You seem unable to grasp that. These people are fully cognisant, enjoy life and participate in it. They might look after grandchildren, still work, travel, whatever. Why do you write these people off?

And careful before you start getting into the realms of euthanasia.

Why be careful? I think it is a very valid choice in the right circumstances.

Of course I’m not writing anybody off; but I do take issue with your position of no empathy for young people. It sounds unkind and bitter.

Of course young people have missed out on things but they will have a chance to do many of them in the future, or even perhaps new ways of doing things. Humans have always adapted. I didn’t even have an end of school party when I left, let alone a prom.

I have felt so very sorry for families living in flats with no outside space and trying to work and home school kids – it must have been horrendous, but things will eventually move on. Your ability to learn does not end with your schooldays.

Those who have had to work in public facing roles through all of this must have been so scared.

Just for a bit of perspective can I tell you about some very dear neighbours of mine? Late 70’s/early 80s they were very active but he has conditions, which although not life limiting, made him ECV so they followed lockdown very strictly as “they didn’t want to add to the burden in hospitals”.

To keep a very long story short, they have seen their children and grandchildren twice in the last year because of where the families live. In January she was diagnosed with cancer. She has started chemo, due to finish in July, but it has meant she cannot take part in any easing of lockdown. It is hopeful she will make a full recovery.

Come to this week, he has been diagnosed with untreatable, inoperable cancer and has about three months, tops. So, they now have the dilemma of meeting with family during his last few months which will mean she is put at extra risk of infections, or continue to stay away from everyone to give her the best chance? Yes, they have had a long and active life. Both dedicated to public service during their working lives. But I feel so unutterably sad that a life should end this way.

What a god awful dilemma. This is it. There is no more. There is no making up for lost time and family contact.

We all feel so desperately for them and everyone in our little cul-de-sac has been rallying around with doing their garden, shopping and taking to hospital appointments, but this last blow has hit everyone hard. God knows how they must be feeling.

I wonder how many families with patients of all ages have had to deal with situations like this during lockdown.

This is truly fucking shit.

Of course there are individual cases of shittiness.

But, when all’s said and done, I’d rather be in a cave for a year at 81 than 21.

@IrmaFayLear

Why be careful? I think it is a very valid choice in the right circumstances.

Of course I’m not writing anybody off; but I do take issue with your position of no empathy for young people. It sounds unkind and bitter.

I'll repeat again and I've said it a few times on this thread: I have plenty of sympathy for young people. I have two of my own! I am far from bitter I would think - I am trying to encourage empathy for other people and their situation.

And I meant euthanasia when the patient has no input into the decision.

But imagine being around 20 just now...no pubs, no nightclubs, no jobs around, no buzz in your town centre, no excuse to dress up in something new, or planning your latest night out, meeting your pals and all the excitement of the night ahead

Surely, not every young person's life revolves around going out to pubs etc?

I never did any of those things when I was 20. My main source of entertainment then (and indeed now) was walking in the fresh air and countryside. No cost, no loud music, no hubub, no 2nd hand smoke (then, not now) etc. I guess I was a little unusual!

Currently, I too can hardly wait for the pubs, and everything else, to reopen, in the hope that it will mean that fewer people are out walking everywhere and spoiling the countryside and the peace and quiet!

I didn’t even have an end of school party when I left, let alone a prom

Now, the above is a prime example of being mealy-mouthed.

Reminds me of fil who would trot out this regularly, “ I didn’t get to go to university” , “I didn’t have a computer “I didn’t....” ad infinitum. I tried to point out that his ancestors probably lived in a wattle and daub hut and by his reckoning should surely resent the fact that he lived in a brick house.

@Lalalablahblahblah

Concernedauntie that is totally shit. I hope their last few months together are as happy as they can be given the circumstances. Stories like this are so sad. It doesn't take away from how sad things are for many youngsters as well though. My young niece is 17 years old. She used to be an outgoing, happy social kid with loads of friends who did well at school and attended clubs etc. In the last year she has lost interest and dropped out of school, lost interest in seeing her friends and attempted suicide twice. She was then sectioned for 2 months. It feels like her whole life has been literally destroyed by lockdown Both situations are tragedies.

I am so sorry for what your family is going through and truly hope your niece starts to feel better as thing start to open up and return to more like normal. I didn't intend to minimise other people's struggles.

A few comments on here about young people's chances to have driving lessons, go out drinking and sleep around being delayed for a while and being treated as the end of the world just annoyed me when things like my neighbours are happening all over the country to people of all ages just annoyed me a little. It is very raw at the moment.

I probably should not have posted.

Wishing you and your family peace and a return to normality.

@IrmaFayLear

Of course there are individual cases of shittiness.

But, when all’s said and done, I’d rather be in a cave for a year at 81 than 21.

Really? I would rather be 21 and listening to the clock tick down to a return to normal than an 81 year old listening to the clock tick wondering if I will be able to spend time with loved ones before I die, without my loved ones worrying about having hastened my death by visiting too soon.

But imagine being around 20 just now...no pubs, no nightclubs, no jobs around, no buzz in your town centre, no excuse to dress up in something new, or planning your latest night out, meeting your pals and all the excitement of the night ahead
My DD had a few ‘garden’ get together in between lockdowns, with a smaller group, but they all insisted that they get dressed up. It was really sweet. They had a lovely time - giggling, laughing, played cards too! And social media they scrolled through looking at men as if they were out eyeing them up.
I wonder if some of the young people having a hard time are those who through bad luck or whatever just didn’t have a couple of really good friends.

As a young person, young people go to the pub a lot less than previous generations did. It’s £5 a pint, we drink at home even before the pandemic!

As I said before, welcome to the Real world where goalposts get moved all the time so this is just introducing that concept to them.

You might be working hard to get qualified to move to a job promotion when shit happens and the company stops recruiting for a while or there is an economic crash and your lucky to have a job

You might be saving up for a house and finally you have enough and boom the house prices go up and your priced out

You might be a social butterfly and suddenly you hurt yourself or fall ill and suddenly that social life is like staring down a tunnel with no light

And let's put it into perspective, it was a few months last yr from March to around June when it was truly terrible being in lockdown then restrictions eased up and we could meet friends outside then indoors all the waybup to October. Theb we had another one and its been a bit longer this time but again we csn now meet up outside

So unless you were shielding its hasn't been quite as shit as it has been for them, as they wouldn't have risked going out eveb when things eased up.

There is a lot of social science data that shows young people who graduate in recessions never earn as much as other cohorts and have shorter lives.

Just one example: siepr.stanford.edu/research/publications/recession-graduates-effects-unlucky

We can only imagine the effects of lockdown on a generation. Of course, where there is life there is hope, but this is not an insignificant burden. And, it is one this generation will not fully understand until years later when they are more mature. It’s a bit like children of divorce who shrug and say it’s fine and that they know nothing else. Some do sail through, others get depressed later when something triggers them as adults and it hits them.

Sure some kids will be just fine, but as a cohort, there will be negative effects that social scientists will be studying for decades.