This is so fucking shit for young people

[ssd]

Yeah i know its shit for everyone before you pounce on me

But imagine being around 20 just now...no pubs, no nightclubs, no jobs around, no buzz in your town centre, no excuse to dress up in something new, or planning your latest night out, meeting your pals and all the excitement of the night ahead.

Its just so fucking shite.

I got the train home tonight from work, Glasgow city centre is a ghost town. Places that were always busy boarded up, of course everything except like of newsagents and tesco's shut. Its Friday night. It was always jumping when i was young, absolutely jumping. It was dead. On the train was a bunch if young boys, playing music a bit too loud, all singing along....going home from the city centre at 6pm!!!!. I could have cried watching them all, a nice sunny evening and the only place they are heading was back to mum and dads, or a local park maybe, i dont know. They were about 18, casual dressed, haircuts, all wanting a good time with their pals and probably hoping to meet a partner if they were single.

Where is the life for these kids???

This has gone on long enough. I dont care if i never see inside a pub again. I've had a brilliant social life at that age. Now they have fuck all.

Its too much.

Cold? Childhood!

My kids are are college /uni online now. There Dad also died of Covid it's utterly shite !

@IrmaFayLear I agree there is a sliding scale - but the bottom of it is not young people. It’s the bottom of our society in terms of inequality, and on the whole younger single people don’t usually make that list. Families, very young and very old stuck in poverty, zero hours works, the vulnerable and the sick are bottom of that sliding scale and as with most things, the pandemic has impacted them the most. They’ve had the most deaths, illness, job losses, stress (e.g. domestic violence).

@feelingdizzy

My kids are are college /uni online now. There Dad also died of Covid it's utterly shite !

Sorry about their Dad. Lots of people have lost parents and I can’t imagine how that must be.

Hasn't been a shit time for me or dh. We've both kept working, saved money, got fitter, enjoyed the peace. The only shit thing us watching our dcs study online, not graduate, cancel first holidays abroad with mates and girlfriends, apply for jobs in a terrible job market, wonder when they'll get a social life again that doesn't involve sitting in the drizzle in a coat and gloves.

So,no, its not been shit for everyone, it is a sliding scale and I'd say the young are at the bottom.

there are of course young people resenting having to save granny, but they would not be prepared to openly admit it.

Well my kids haven't had any grandparents for ten years so they aren't saving granny. What they have done is stick to guidelines to do the right thing. As has the majority of them . They know them getting covid would hopefully be mild, but them passing it on could be fatal. So they stick to the guidelines . But they might be getting fed up, a but resentful and wondering whats the point. But they'll do as long as they have to. Cos they're not arseholes. Unlike the people who can't simply acknowledge how shit a life this must be at 20, without screaming out 'its not a competition ' 'its shit for everyone ' yada yada

In the years prior to the pandemic, what about young people stuck in a refugee camp? Or in an asylum centre in a foreign country? Did you worry about what they were missing out on?
This view of young people and what their life should be is very narrow.
I am also sad about all that they're missing, but in that sliding scale they're nowhere near the bottom if they have financial security, family support, at least some friendships and working towards a future by studying

So,no, its not been shit for everyone, it is a sliding scale and I'd say the young are at the bottom No this is where you are totally wrong. Feel sorry for your kids, fine. Feel sorry for other kids, fine.

Extrapolate that young people are the worst off in this pandemic? Totally factually wrong. We have hoards of researchers out there actually asking who is the worst off in the pandemic. Doing it in a systematic way.
What did they find?

Those at the bottom of the inequalities pile are the worst off in the pandemic. So please let’s not ignore the blazingly clear fact that those who are poor and vulnerable have had the absolute worst time. As I’ve said before, but for some reason no one wants ‘facts’ in this thread, only opinion as if this is some Donald Trump no fact universe!
Those poor and vulnerable (such as disabled, sick, domestic violence) have suffered the most deaths, illness, job losses, stress.

@Spiderplantwidow

I had a shit time in my late teens to early twenties, I hated clubs, I hated drinking, I hated festivals and drugs, I hated dating and casual sex but did them anyway to fit in. Much more comfortable in my thirties now I have the life experience to say nope, that stuff isn't for me thanks and I have my own very small group of close friends.

I really hate this narrative that your twenties should be the time of your life, it's very depressing.

It's also about finding who you are though. You make mistakes, you live and learn and grow.

Exactly @Rejoiningperson

I think all the time that I'm glad I'm not a single person in my twenties going through this. I don't know how I would have coped living away from home and not having a social life. I do really feel for the young people including my two teenagers who have missed GCSEs and proms and days out and all the usual, like PPs have said, character forming stuff. I hope they don't come out of it damaged. The only thing that gives me hope is that our family have been through some life changing serious illness stuff before and it was actually good for us in terms of learning to appreciate and grasp life, so.i think there's a chance that it will have a good outcome.

How is a prom character forming?

They didn’t exist 15 or so years ago

@Rejoiningperson

So,no, its not been shit for everyone, it is a sliding scale and I'd say the young are at the bottom No this is where you are totally wrong. Feel sorry for your kids, fine. Feel sorry for other kids, fine.

Extrapolate that young people are the worst off in this pandemic? Totally factually wrong. We have hoards of researchers out there actually asking who is the worst off in the pandemic. Doing it in a systematic way.
What did they find?

Those at the bottom of the inequalities pile are the worst off in the pandemic. So please let’s not ignore the blazingly clear fact that those who are poor and vulnerable have had the absolute worst time. As I’ve said before, but for some reason no one wants ‘facts’ in this thread, only opinion as if this is some Donald Trump no fact universe!
Those poor and vulnerable (such as disabled, sick, domestic violence) have suffered the most deaths, illness, job losses, stress.

While it's been tough for the younger generation, it's not like they've all been shut away for a year either. Many of them have still socialised throughout. There's been no shortage of house parties or illegal raves every single weekend. I live in a city with universities and they have got carried away at times (outside bars when they've been open, in parks, house parties etc).

Those shielding (whether young or old) have been shut away. Nurses working around the clock in ITU wards. Front line police officers who've worked throughout and had to deal with all the anti social behaviour and break up illegal gatherings while putting themselves in harms way (of Covid or violence).

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

How is a prom character forming?

They didn’t exist 15 or so years ago

It's the symbolism of the prom as celebrating the end of school days. DS didn't even get to say goodbye to half his year group as schools/colleges were abruptly shut last year at 2 days notice, and many of his fellow students were already self isolating/had been pulled out of school so weren't there on the last official day. Plus they were all massively stressed as they had no idea what would happen about their exams.

Proms may not have existed 15 years ago, but there was an end of term disco or an assembly, or an awards evening or something to mark the end of a stage of their lives and to reflect upon them.

@AbsolutelyPatsy

there are of course young people resenting having to save granny, but they would not be prepared to openly admit it.

Oh as a 23 year old, we’re all openly admitting it now. Wasted a year of the best time of our lives for people who couldn’t care less about us! Grannies that wouldn’t hold the door for us as we walk in behind them, or for Dave that posts racist, sexist or “snowflake” insults on Facebook. Wonderful

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

How is a prom character forming?

They didn’t exist 15 or so years ago

Just the Americanisation of our culture, like all the fuss over things like Halloween.

It does perhaps make for less sympathy or empathy from older generations though when it comes to university experience, proms, Halloween parties and all the rest of it. None of which would be a reality for most people anyway a generation or two ago.

Their sympathy will stretch as far as the pubs being shut.

So,no, its not been shit for everyone, it is a sliding scale and I'd say the young are at the bottom.

They aren't at the bottom, FFS. If anyone has had a really, really shit time, it's healthcare workers. Sick people. And those with Covid. Those in poverty. I'd consider them first.

Unlike the people who can't simply acknowledge how shit a life this must be at 20, without screaming out 'its not a competition ' 'its shit for everyone ' yada yada

I acknowledged it - you must have missed it. I have young adult kids too at university with the same struggles, so I'm fully aware what they're going through. They are managing OK and know it will pass.

Sorry, but I am not going to acknowledge 'how shit life is at 20'..during a pandemic. OP I am very pleased for you that you are richer, fitter and have enjoyed the peace. So, what you seem to be saying is that your 20 year olds have suffered disproprortionally because they can't go to the pub, go on holiday, have to study online, face a difficult job market and might have to get a temporary job working in a supermarket - how did you so eloquently put it 'sitting in the drizzle in a coat and gloves' - what makes you so entitled and so reluctant to acknowledge others may suffer more and your kids just need to get on with it.

@TheClaws

So,no, its not been shit for everyone, it is a sliding scale and I'd say the young are at the bottom.

They aren't at the bottom, FFS. If anyone has had a really, really shit time, it's healthcare workers. Sick people. And those with Covid. Those in poverty. I'd consider them first.

Unlike the people who can't simply acknowledge how shit a life this must be at 20, without screaming out 'its not a competition ' 'its shit for everyone ' yada yada

I acknowledged it - you must have missed it. I have young adult kids too at university with the same struggles, so I'm fully aware what they're going through. They are managing OK and know it will pass.

Completely agree with this.

It seems to me that there is a whole entitlement rhetoric going on around the concept 'best time of their lives.' But this is narrowed into a very cultural view of what that should be; partying, getting wasted, casual sex - and things outside that norm are seen as less than, belonging to the 'few outliers' who the thread is 'not about'. Depriving our children of these things which are seen as rites of passage (saw it written as rights of passage the other day and not entirely sure it was a grammatical error) is seen as somehow both immoral and devastating to their lives. Those that draw comparisons to the war/refugee camps/people who live in poverty/disabled people etc are accused of whataboutery and being killjoys. It's a very interesting dynamic and so often seems to go alongside hyperbole about people who have already lived their lives and grannies that say they'd prefer to die than deprive their grandchild of the opportunity to go to the pub and have driving lessons.

To me, it seems like lives are compared and certain types of lives found wanting in this whole melting pot of cultural entitlement. I am so grateful to my young adults and all the others I know for seeing beyond this and valuing every life - and for not buying into the belief that this time lost to them is a devastation that they can never get over.

My 20 year old DD (who incidentally met her partner in lockdown, online) said to me 'they don't give us any credit for resilience or empathy, do they? They think all we care about is hedonism and getting pissed. But we actually care about everyone, especially the oppressed groups, the poor and the vulnerable.'

I am not minimising the loss for them. DD has not had the uni experience she expected. But life doesn't always go as expected and we don't actually have any inner rights to ensure it does so. What we can do is find ways to thrive around what is thrown at us, and that's what I'm observing young people to be doing, by and large.

@Rejoiningperson and @User135644 are absolutely right.

When it comes to the young, my sympathies lie the most with CEV children and young adults. Particularly when they read or hear adults complaining about having had to protect the vulnerable.

Madhairday Agree

Madhairday l agree.

I thought there was a lot of entitlement in this thread. 17 year olds not having driving lessons!!! Only MC parent could bemoan this. And all the things like uni, festivals are really MC things.

My dc don’t care either. They just want to keep the family safe. Family are kind of more important than proms or gigs. But some people seem to have lost sight of this.

Parties/ festivals: casual sex are kind of less important than protecting yourself and your family.

@Madhairday I agree that most young have shown amazing resilience and empathy. I've noticed it doesn't seem to be the actual young complaining. At least, not on this thread or others like it I've seen. It seems to be their parents.

Well you hated it, most don't.

Plenty do and only feel able to admit it later in life.