This is so fucking shit for young people

[ssd]

Yeah i know its shit for everyone before you pounce on me

But imagine being around 20 just now...no pubs, no nightclubs, no jobs around, no buzz in your town centre, no excuse to dress up in something new, or planning your latest night out, meeting your pals and all the excitement of the night ahead.

Its just so fucking shite.

I got the train home tonight from work, Glasgow city centre is a ghost town. Places that were always busy boarded up, of course everything except like of newsagents and tesco's shut. Its Friday night. It was always jumping when i was young, absolutely jumping. It was dead. On the train was a bunch if young boys, playing music a bit too loud, all singing along....going home from the city centre at 6pm!!!!. I could have cried watching them all, a nice sunny evening and the only place they are heading was back to mum and dads, or a local park maybe, i dont know. They were about 18, casual dressed, haircuts, all wanting a good time with their pals and probably hoping to meet a partner if they were single.

Where is the life for these kids???

This has gone on long enough. I dont care if i never see inside a pub again. I've had a brilliant social life at that age. Now they have fuck all.

Its too much.

@mustlovegin

The term 'landmark birthday' is cringe

It is 😀

Not something I’d usually use

Neither of my boys give a monkeys about their birthdays

'They think all we care about is hedonism and getting pissed. But we actually care about everyone, especially the oppressed groups, the poor and the vulnerable.'

Maybe it's projection, as it's often said that the younger generation aren't big drinkers anyway. The pubs and bars of the high street aren't necessarily packed out with youngsters on a Friday/Saturday night. No more so than 30 somethings or middle aged people anyway.

Those in their teens/early 20's have grown up in an online world, so in some ways have found it easier as they may be used to less face-to-face communication.

It's also about finding who you are though. You make mistakes, you live and learn and grow.

This is a process that continues throughout your life. You don't suddenly hit 30 and know exactly who you are. I'm 35 and still don't know exactly who I am, I still make mistakes, I'm still living and growing.

When I was a university counsellor I used to speak to hundreds of students in the age bracket being discussed on this thread, throughly miserable and anxious because they'd been told that this time was meant to be the "time of their lives", and they weren't enjoying it. The expectation of university life and life in one's early twenties often doesn't live up to expectations.

@Rejoiningperson

I don’t mind the feeling for a particular section of the population if you want. If some of you on this thread want to feel for young people, fine!

However there is a very dark undertone to the ‘but the young didn’t have to as they weren’t going to die, like those old people who are selfish, have all the property and pensions and had their lives’ so it was somehow more awful for them.

THAT is the bit that I find quite chilling to be honest. And I haven’t met a single young person who feels this way. No teenager I know has any resentment over ‘saving granny’, ‘saving parents’, ‘saving healthcare staff and services’ or ‘saving people who have high risk illnesses’. Why wouldn’t you act to protect your society? Why is something terribly wrong with acting as a community to protect each other?

We do it all the time for each other. It’s called living in a civilized, caring society.

Agree

My dc don’t care either. They just want to keep the family safe. Family are kind of more important than proms or gigs. But some people seem to have lost sight of this.

There is less emphasis on the extended family and family relationships in British culture. I was raised here but born into a different culture and I've noticed it all my life. Like, when I was at uni I always went home for my birthday to see my mum and sisters and people thought I was a weirdo. But that's normal in my culture.

I've noticed it doesn't seem to be the actual young complaining. At least, not on this thread or others like it I've seen. It seems to be their parents
Definitely my experience too. Young adults are far more resilient than their parents seem to give them credit for and we don’t need other adults to feel sorry for us and infantilise us

Aye I think it’s really shit for young adults.
Yes, the majority, including mine, are cracking on with it, but is hardly be a decent parent if I didn’t feel a bit bad for them, would I?
That’s literally my job.

@Spiderplantwidow

It's also about finding who you are though. You make mistakes, you live and learn and grow.

This is a process that continues throughout your life. You don't suddenly hit 30 and know exactly who you are. I'm 35 and still don't know exactly who I am, I still make mistakes, I'm still living and growing.

When I was a university counsellor I used to speak to hundreds of students in the age bracket being discussed on this thread, throughly miserable and anxious because they'd been told that this time was meant to be the "time of their lives", and they weren't enjoying it. The expectation of university life and life in one's early twenties often doesn't live up to expectations.

There's the psychology behind that. I never went to Uni but I remember at secondary school a teacher always used to say "these are the best years of your life" knowing at the time people didn't like school. I remember thinking at the time all you're really saying is the rest of your life will be shit.

It's the human condition that a lot of people are never really happy or content because they're always expecting more. It's like if you build up a night out for months on end, it's usually an anti-climax and over in a flash. You can build something in your head to which the reality can never live up to the fantasy.

I'm honestly having a way better time in my 30s. I've got money now, for one thing!

I never went to Uni but I remember at secondary school a teacher always used to say "these are the best years of your life" knowing at the time people didn't like school

I had the same said to me and can remember thinking christ, I may as well give up if this is as good as it gets!!!

Yes and that's exactly what the wedding industry capitalise on isn't it - the whole 'best day of your life' thing - and it so often just doesn't match up to that massive upbuild of expectations. I agree that many young people are left feeling minimised by that cultural narrative, they feel they have failed when those years really aren't the best at all, and actually they're a bit crap for a hundred reasons. Kids who are sick and disabled, or young carers, or living in abusive homes, or in poverty, kids who are so introvert they find social situations painful, kids who are homebodies, kids who prefer sport to partying, coding to clubbing. This narrative leaves little room for diversity of experience and so in and of itself it is exclusionary, as is much of this thread.

@Spiderplantwidow Youth is wasted on the young to some extent. I'm also 30's which is a bit of a bridge between youth and middle age. If I went to Uni now i'd appreciate it a lot more from an educational standpoint while enjoying the social aspect but more maturely. At 18-21 I had little interest in education, but I loved a night out. You're really just trying to find yourself at that age.

[quote Tealightsandd]@Madhairday I agree that most young have shown amazing resilience and empathy. I've noticed it doesn't seem to be the actual young complaining. At least, not on this thread or others like it I've seen. It seems to be their parents.[/quote]
Eh, this is a site usually used by parents?

I think a lot of it is down to personality.
I’ve two recently graduated and like me and their dad, they kicked the arse out of it.
Endless nights of dancing, clubs and sports coming out of their ears.
Truly something to look back on with great great fondness.
But some of their mates didn’t love it quite so much. Though they don’t seem to be loving the world of work much either.

But some of their mates didn’t love it quite so much. Though they don’t seem to be loving the world of work much either

Not uncommon with introverts. When you first start work you're required to put yourself out there in a way you don't have to do once you have a bit of experience.

spider true.
Hopefully, they’ll come into their own at some point.

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

Madhairday l agree.

I thought there was a lot of entitlement in this thread. 17 year olds not having driving lessons!!! Only MC parent could bemoan this. And all the things like uni, festivals are really MC things.

My dc don’t care either. They just want to keep the family safe. Family are kind of more important than proms or gigs. But some people seem to have lost sight of this.

Parties/ festivals: casual sex are kind of less important than protecting yourself and your family.

Is it not possible for young people to miss these this, be disappointed with what they've missed AND know and understand why it's the way it is?

A lot of your post is aimed at my post (and possibly others) . Not once did I say DS didn't understand and fully commit to the last year, doesn't stop him feeling disappointed. He has stuck stringently to the rules, because he's a nice boy who knows right from wrong.

Just because it doesn't bother your children, doesn't mean it's not upsetting for others. I had a "milestone" birthday during lockdown - couldn't give a monkeys , suits me down to the ground that I didn't get to celebrate, however I can understand others that are bothered

@Madhairday this is a pretty good sentence grannies that say they'd prefer to die than deprive their grandchild of the opportunity to go to the pub and have driving lessons.

I know it’s not been easy. There is a lot of assumptions on this thread though projected onto all young people. Like the hierarchy of what is important - clubs, pubs vs family, close friends. My DD, first year of Uni told me yesterday that she really appreciated having more time with me, her Mum, as soon she will be away actually at Uni and childhood gone. Bless!

I also had to laugh a bit at one of my MC friends who was very angry that her DD was not able to go to school in the last lockdown. She argued vociferously that her DDs mental health would be really damaged, that she needed it because of such and such. Eventually she won her case.

And then her DD refused to go! She was incensed that her mum had thought she needed it and was pretty cross about it.

Young people don't typically argue for themselves about their freedoms and educational opportunities. It is typically parents that protect that right. And to a lesser degree, society generally.

But just because the young are not jumping up and down about it does not mean we should feel entitled to take it away.

Fact that the young generation are acting selflessly should cause us to defend their rights all the more.

I think young people do argue for themselves. Certainly young adults. They can be really idealistic and passionate about things.

And 25 years as a teacher has shown me that teens are very very good at arguing for themselves.

I agree with Arse
Although obviously it was down to adults and society as a whole to protect CEV children.

It's horrendous for young people it really is I agree and I think it could be a while before things change

My sisters step daughter was meant to go to university last September but they (both her mum and dad my sisters partner and her mums parter) suggested she defer a year as it would be a total waste of money and a poor experience as even last June/July they were predicting a bad winter

I don't understand why people went really she easily deferred and is hopefully going this September and has been volunteering and got a part time job doing care work and so now has something positive for her CV aswell

Lots of her friends infact nearly her whole sixth form deferred as they didn't want to be in a situation of paying rent and tuition to be stuck in a room

I'm not really understanding why people put themselves in that situation as it's such a shame they've not had a great university experience for what should be an amazing time for young people.

I'm sorry but its not the age 18-25 you're talking of i feel sorry for. Its been on an off for 18 months.

I feel sorry for ppl who list relatives and had 12 ar a funeral.

I feel sorry for those who live alone and gave dealt with it alone.

I feel sorry for those that missed their kids year if primary/secondary/ uni.

I can't feel sorry for things that are things they will be able to do again. Its hardly going to cause long term damage

Depends how you look at it. I got involved in drugs and a lot of drinking at uni and wish I would avoided that somehow. I'm 34 now but would suit me if Covid happened when I was at uni. (Obvs wish Covid didn't happen at all)

Though they don’t seem to be loving the world of work much either

Well...I've heard it all now. So those who don't like drinking, inane partying and casual sex are lazy and don't like working? Introverts don't like working either? What a load of tosh!