I did not sign up to this **selfish rant alert**

[Notthissticky]

Warning: this is a selfish rant about the unfairness of COVID. Please don't read it if you've been strongly affected by COVID or its economic impact. I am posting this on an anonymous forum for a reason.

I have a 2.5 yo and a 2 month old baby. The only family who have met the baby are the in-laws who looked after the toddler when I was in hospital. On Tuesday night, the baby spent a rather unnecessary night in hospital. I had both kids alone yesterday. The toddler started coughing so we've done a test. It's been 24 hours but no results yet, meaning another day shut in the house with two small children, when it was supposed to be me and the baby. All because a 2 year old has a cold.

I haven't seen my parents since July, I have a 5 month old niece I've never met and haven't seen my siblings since Christmas 2019, because our freedom-loving government has made it illegal for me to travel abroad to visit them. There isn't a single baby group running or in fact anything to do to make life enjoyable, rather than just an existence that needs to be borne.

I am absolutely not against taking precautions to prevent COVID spreading and am following the rules as much/ little as the next person. Looking at the situation from a distance though, the simple fact is that I only know a handful of people who've had COVID, none of whom have been hospitalised, let alone died. Meanwhile, this pandemic has cost me an awful lot emotionally. I fully realise I am extremely fortunate compared to many, but it just feels unfair and I am so so done with it. When will we reach the point where the impact of the inevitable mental health crisis that is developing begins to outweigh the risks of COVID? Rant over.

I hear you OP. I have a (just turned) one year old. She doesn't know or recognise her family, won't let anyone hold her and actually cries when she sees them. I stuck to all the rules, dealt with the last year without any help from friends or family, no one knowing my little girl.... and so I made the decision to see my dad outdoors the other day. And guess what..... I caught Covid. I'm now bedridden and even I can't see my LG properly, I only feed her wearing a mask and that's it. In hindsight, I wish I just braved it out longer because that was the lesser of two shitshows. You absolutely have every right to feel the way you do - it's been so so so hard with little babies!!! For us and for them. But I'm equally thankful that you all still have your health and have stayed safe ❤️

Feel free to rant. Your problems are valid.

I class myself as very fortunate. None of my immediate family are classed as vulnerable, DH works mainly from home in a company which has thrived during this year and I have been furloughed but with a return imminent. I don't work much so drop in wages has been minimal. All my children live with me and are all coping well, my family (parents, siblings) live in walking distance, we have a nice house, garden and we seem to be doing ok being with each other all of the time.

I do know of people who have had Covid including a friend of mine who has long Covid and I know of 3 people who have died who are family of my friends.

Personally I have followed all the rules as I am Germaphobic and I am a rule follower. Me and DH have now both had our jabs and yesterday we sat and froze outside with my parents who have also been jabbed. They have also already had Covid. Seemed really stupid. If we can't get together then who can.

I'm sad that my eldest daughter missed out on her last months of school/exams/prom and that her first taste of college hasn't been of meeting new people but if zoom classes. I'm sad that my youngest daughter probably can't remember a family party or a trip to a swimming pool.

I'm sad that my boys have had to spend so much time on electronics when we did a good job keeping their usage minimal beforehand.

I'm sad that my children haven't been to clubs and I'm sad that me and my friends have drifted a little.

Life is small and nothing like it was before. I can be sad about that. I can still be grateful that it's not worse too.

For me I have a baby who I am not concerned about (realise I am in the minority on this thread though). I do however have a teenager I am very worried about (may be I am so concerned for them I cannot get to worried about the baby?). I can understand all parents worrying about the young though.

Snowflake alert. Grow up and get over yourselves people!

My DH and I have worked (in A&E) throughout. Back to back shifts, our children rarely see us together, we have no family nearby to bubble with, sometimes I feel totally alone. My niece was 1 last month and I haven’t seen my family in a year. Flip side I’ve also experienced the awfulness and impact on people at work. Right now I’m going through the motions because I don’t really have much left, feel like crying most days. That said the devastation that I’ve seen and the people I’ve spoken to is terrible. I understand where you are coming from it’s just very hard to really get it and the media don’t help.

@mynameisbiggles

Snowflake alert. Grow up and get over yourselves people!

Thicko alert 🚨

@cupcakesandglitter

I hear you OP. I have a (just turned) one year old. She doesn't know or recognise her family, won't let anyone hold her and actually cries when she sees them. I stuck to all the rules, dealt with the last year without any help from friends or family, no one knowing my little girl.... and so I made the decision to see my dad outdoors the other day. And guess what..... I caught Covid. I'm now bedridden and even I can't see my LG properly, I only feed her wearing a mask and that's it. In hindsight, I wish I just braved it out longer because that was the lesser of two shitshows. You absolutely have every right to feel the way you do - it's been so so so hard with little babies!!! For us and for them. But I'm equally thankful that you all still have your health and have stayed safe ❤️

Are you saying you caught it from seeing your Dad outdoors? Has your Dad has it? I think this is highly unlikely you caught it from him otherwise.

@eeyore228

My DH and I have worked (in A&E) throughout. Back to back shifts, our children rarely see us together, we have no family nearby to bubble with, sometimes I feel totally alone. My niece was 1 last month and I haven’t seen my family in a year. Flip side I’ve also experienced the awfulness and impact on people at work. Right now I’m going through the motions because I don’t really have much left, feel like crying most days. That said the devastation that I’ve seen and the people I’ve spoken to is terrible. I understand where you are coming from it’s just very hard to really get it and the media don’t help.

That sounds awful. Are you talking about your experiences of Covid?

@cupcakesandglitter

I hear you OP. I have a (just turned) one year old. She doesn't know or recognise her family, won't let anyone hold her and actually cries when she sees them. I stuck to all the rules, dealt with the last year without any help from friends or family, no one knowing my little girl.... and so I made the decision to see my dad outdoors the other day. And guess what..... I caught Covid. I'm now bedridden and even I can't see my LG properly, I only feed her wearing a mask and that's it. In hindsight, I wish I just braved it out longer because that was the lesser of two shitshows. You absolutely have every right to feel the way you do - it's been so so so hard with little babies!!! For us and for them. But I'm equally thankful that you all still have your health and have stayed safe ❤️

🤔🤔

I’ve had similar rants myself. My kids are a bit older but I imagine it’s that much harder with smalls.

I’ve broken the law twice to see my parents in Wales. In what world is it basically illegal to see your parents/grandparents and go to the country of your birth? Appreciate it’s that much harder for people with families further away where just driving over isn’t an option.

I’m struggling myself but am really really angry about how much it’s affected children.

Nothing selfish about this at all Op. I'm in a different situation heres my self pitying rant..no kids ..lost my mum june. Not covid! Lost my job july..chap cheated on my begining Dec..my Ex & 2 work collegues passed away from cancer dec-Feb, i was falsely accused and cleared of racism at new workplace. Worst week, I felt afraid disgusted & vunerable.. my beloved gym is shut..I've never felt so broken & alone yet I've not shed a tear at all, I'm just carrying on but scared I'm slowly falling apart. I desp need my gym friends I miss my old work collegues so much. I hate this situation that's dragging on and on. We'll be a bloody broken nation by the time this lockdown fully finished.

@mynameisbiggles

Snowflake alert. Grow up and get over yourselves people!

OK Boomer - how about maybe showing a little gratitude and respect for the younger generation that have sacrificed their education and future life chances for the benefit of the older generation.

@mynameisbiggles

Snowflake alert. Grow up and get over yourselves people!

"grow up", says the person resorting to childish insults.

@Fembot123 .... I don't understand your response.

@mynameisbiggles

Snowflake alert. Grow up and get over yourselves people!

Disagree it's snowflakey to actually enjoy spending time with family and friends.

Rant away! It's allowed! And I completely empathise with mums of small babies who are isolated and lonely and who haven't been able to see parents and families or have support from them. And it's not comparable, I know, but I haven't hugged any of my children or grandchildren for an entire year (and we have isolated a bit longer than most people because my husband had been in Italy and we didn't want to put anyone at risk ). I have cuddled 5 of my beautiful grandchildren since hours after they were born - so this has been () horrible. BUT my father's ex partner died of Covid in the first wave. 2 of my friends have had it. My cousin's wife's brothers have had it (1 died) and I was diagnosed positive in the middle of January. Normally fit and healthy and very active, one particularly bad day, I managed to see my GP who sent me straight to A and E because I couldn't breathe. They eventually sent me home. I can potter round the garden but 12 weeks on, I still have breathing problems, still cough and get exhausted very quickly. I don't know when I'll be able to play football with my grandchildren again because I have no energy and gasp for air after any exercise. I haven't told my 92 year old dad this, but I strongly suspect I caught it from him. He had what we thought was a bit of a cold and quickly recovered. I picked up the same symptoms and got a test through the Covid 19 Zoe project and was diagnosed positive. The cough and breathlessness came a few days later. When you don't know anyone who has had it, it's easy to think it's horrible to be isolated. Believe me, it's an absolute pig to have had it.

And I've ranted. Sorry. But sometimes I get frustrated. A very elderly friend came for a socially distanced cup of tea today. She's a childless widow whose extended family lives hundreds of miles away. No one has hugged her for a year. Even after 2 vaccinations and knowing I can't give her the virus, she was too afraid to let me give her a hug. It's all so terribly sad. And seeing her has used up a big proportion of my daily energy. Please be careful. It's a truly horrible virus which has had an enormous effect on everyone.

Rant away I do so on a daily basis mainly due to the stupidity of those in power, the sheer scale of debt the countries in thanks to Boris but mainly the fact that we shut down at all.
Prior to this the flu and pneumonia killed thousands of elderly every year but we didn't shut the world down. Dont mean to offend but now I think the problem is laziness. There is no reason at all why GPS could not be back doing a normal day's work. As for hospitals...the covid people are in wards so why can the rest of the hospital not operate as normal.
There is zero logic...let hundreds in and out of Tesco but normal shops can't open, who would probably control numbers and sanitation a lot better. If the country didn't make it so financially viable for people to stay at home...they would go to work as normal because they needed the money.
Keep us all banned from foreign travel incase we bring in a variant but let thousands who arrive from god knows where in without any checks.
I watched a documentary where best place to handle this was South Korea. They didn't lock down even airports open. They had an actual functioning track and trace system. Only 400 deaths and surgeries continued cancer treatments continued..life continued.

Trouble with this country is that they did it so wrong at the start they are now running scared to have anymore deaths but missing big picture.
Yes the deaths were sad and avoidable but you cannot stop people living a normal life to protect the vulnerable and elderly. What about the rest of society, children with entire life ahead of them , young people with illnesses who may die without treatment., mental health of everyone else who has and continues to be affected..
It's time to open up return to normality...those who want to can continue to shield but life is for living not this shit.
Unfortunately death will happen one way or another to all of us but we can't live in a bubble forever fearing it.
Unfortunately I think the 21st of June won't happen, he will listen to the bloody doom and gloom of his 2 sidekicks and extend lockdown.
What is the point of the vaccine? The elderly and vulnerable have had it so let us out.
I really hope that if he goes back on his word, the people revolt. Say enough is enough and open enmass

I agree with everything you say @DreamingofDalyan. The one thing that was keeping me going was the vaccine rollout, but now that’s seriously undermined by this blood clot issue and I can’t feel happy at our progress anymore, just deflated.

I cannot take this anymore.

Prior to this the flu and pneumonia killed thousands of elderly every year but we didn't shut the world down.

I know people will leap on this and say Covid isn’t the flu, but I don’t get it - why does nobody give a damn about the thousands of flu victims every year? We didn’t shut down the country to prevent those deaths.

Children's well being in general gets dismissed on here to be honest quite shocking that it's on a group called MUMSnet . Adults have decades of life to catch up on things they might have missed in a couple of years, children unfortunately don't have that luxury of being able to pause their childhood and go back and live it again

I’ve been shocked by this too, honestly. A year in a child’s life is so very long and developmentally important.

@nonono1

Prior to this the flu and pneumonia killed thousands of elderly every year but we didn't shut the world down.

I know people will leap on this and say Covid isn’t the flu, but I don’t get it - why does nobody give a damn about the thousands of flu victims every year? We didn’t shut down the country to prevent those deaths.

Don’t give them any ideas ... 😵

@DreamingofDalyan - GP’s have worked throughout - my DH is one of them. The hospitals could not operate normally as the wards were taken up with Covid patients. In some hospitals operating theatres were converted into ICU’s. Nurses and doctors were drafted in from all specialities to work on Covid wards. Ambulances were queuing to drop off patients and hospitals struggled to find a bed for them.

Covid transmission and deaths are nothing like flu. Flu isn’t so easily transmitted and nothing like the numbers of deaths.

Covid transmission and deaths are nothing like flu. Flu isn’t so easily transmitted and nothing like the numbers of deaths

Yeah but flu is far deadlier to children so I do worry that these attitudes will creep into other diseases

Completely agree! Enough of this shit! Now that so many people have been vaccinated, why not open up?? At first according to them it was all about not overwhelming the nhs, well now with 70% or so of population being immune in one way or another, this overwhelming can't possibly happen so what's the problem? I have 2 little ones as well and it's been horrible for them, I miss softplays, baby groups, play dates, all the activities we used to do. I'm extremely scared they'll adopt the same attitude to other illnesses, like as you say flu or pneumonia, what the hell will our life look like? Honestly if people (I hope) stand up and protest, I'll be there protesting and rebelling against it all. I want my life back as it was, they have no rights whatsoever to restrict us, this is against human rights it really is