I did not sign up to this **selfish rant alert**

[Notthissticky]

Warning: this is a selfish rant about the unfairness of COVID. Please don't read it if you've been strongly affected by COVID or its economic impact. I am posting this on an anonymous forum for a reason.

I have a 2.5 yo and a 2 month old baby. The only family who have met the baby are the in-laws who looked after the toddler when I was in hospital. On Tuesday night, the baby spent a rather unnecessary night in hospital. I had both kids alone yesterday. The toddler started coughing so we've done a test. It's been 24 hours but no results yet, meaning another day shut in the house with two small children, when it was supposed to be me and the baby. All because a 2 year old has a cold.

I haven't seen my parents since July, I have a 5 month old niece I've never met and haven't seen my siblings since Christmas 2019, because our freedom-loving government has made it illegal for me to travel abroad to visit them. There isn't a single baby group running or in fact anything to do to make life enjoyable, rather than just an existence that needs to be borne.

I am absolutely not against taking precautions to prevent COVID spreading and am following the rules as much/ little as the next person. Looking at the situation from a distance though, the simple fact is that I only know a handful of people who've had COVID, none of whom have been hospitalised, let alone died. Meanwhile, this pandemic has cost me an awful lot emotionally. I fully realise I am extremely fortunate compared to many, but it just feels unfair and I am so so done with it. When will we reach the point where the impact of the inevitable mental health crisis that is developing begins to outweigh the risks of COVID? Rant over.

Teachers should have been vaccinated in a higher priority group.

@yoyo1234

Teachers should have been vaccinated in a higher priority group.

Agreed.

Lots of parents dying leaving behind young kids, young adults with no underlying health issues have died. These people are not going to give a shit about people not being able to meet their friends or kids not seeing their relatives.

Lots? The median age of death is 82. My father died from it. He was in his 80s. I lost a young child 10 years ago. I care very much for people who are struggling not seeing the families for a virus that well over 95% of people survive. I'm among them. Going to see my family abroad. We'll all have been vaccinated twice.

I would hope by school return after easter as well that those 40+ would be vaccinated. Those under 30 would be (health issues aside) low risk. I think priority groups for those with high exposure should be prioritised (I know in some cases bus drivers have).

@MonsterMash2210

I completely agree with you. I am really struggling to find it in me to continue with all this.

I want to do the ‘right’ thing but it all seems rather pointless and as time goes on I am starting to believe in the ‘right’ thing less and less.

The only reason I am following the ‘rules’ is because I am a rule follower. Not because I believe in them.

It’s rubbish and my repressed rebellious side is furious.

This. 100%.

My conscience doesn't allow me to not follow the rules but I'm so done with them.

OP I feel for you - you can rant away as much as you like and you are right to feel so frustrated - I hope you get some deserved fun over Easter xxxx

Lots? The median age of death is 82. My father died from it. He was in his 80s
Yes majority of young people survive covid. Doesn’t mean we should dismiss those young that have died. I was just explaining to the OP why some people might not care about her rant if they’ve had it worse. I’m not saying she or anyone else is wrong to have these feelings.

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Related: Lockdown Learning, discuss home schooling during lockdown.

I did not sign up to this *selfish rant alert*281
OP’s posts: See all
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Today 19:26Shona52

Rant away honey. Your in a very tough position and my heart goes out to you. Just do anything and everything you can to look after yourself. I know it's tough but light at the end of the tunnel now xx

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Today 19:27yoyo1234

Teachers should have been vaccinated in a higher priority group.

Today 19:30Pinkbunny2811

yoyo1234

Teachers should have been vaccinated in a higher priority group.

Agreed.

Today 19:30diwrnachoflleyn

Lots of parents dying leaving behind young kids, young adults with no underlying health issues have died. These people are not going to give a shit about people not being able to meet their friends or kids not seeing their relatives.

Lots? The median age of death is 82. My father died from it. He was in his 80s. I lost a young child 10 years ago. I care very much for people who are struggling not seeing the families for a virus that well over 95% of people survive. I'm among them. Going to see my family abroad. We'll all have been vaccinated twice.

Today 19:32yoyo1234

I would hope by school return after easter as well that those 40+ would be vaccinated. Those under 30 would be (health issues aside) low risk. I think priority groups for those with high exposure should be prioritised (I know in some cases bus drivers have).

Today 19:38daiawndiolch

MonsterMash2210

I completely agree with you. I am really struggling to find it in me to continue with all this.

I want to do the ‘right’ thing but it all seems rather pointless and as time goes on I am starting to believe in the ‘right’ thing less and less.

The only reason I am following the ‘rules’ is because I am a rule follower. Not because I believe in them.

It’s rubbish and my repressed rebellious side is furious.

This. 100%.
X2

Oops just meant to say I agree with Monstermash!

I only know a handful of people who've had COVID, none of whom have been hospitalised, let alone died.

Have you thought about the fact that that is probably because of the measures that have been taken to prevent it being a whole lot worse?

I was (and still am) strict about following rules. I wish more had been done with tracing cases and stopping international travel Especially at the start. However with vulnerable vaccinated and their carers etc and ideally with those in high risk jobs vaccinated I would hope more of society can open up (especially ensuring those at important stages in their education have continuity and a chance to reach their potential). Case numbers rising is potentially not a great issue (eg if hospitalisation and deaths are falling).

I’m pretty much in the same position as you. 2 yr old toddler and a 4 week old baby. I am beyond fed up. My toddler had missed out on so much socialisation and general good quality of life and the baby had barely met anyone and I’m just done. I’ve already told my husband if lockdown gets extended/happens again, I will refuse to not see our family (kids grandparents, aunts and uncles). The fact that my husband and myself as a teacher has been able to continue mixing with 100+ families through school each day, but not our own, blows my actual mind!

@yoyo1234

ideally with those in high risk jobs vaccinated I would hope more of society can open up (especially ensuring those at important stages in their education have continuity and a chance to reach their potential).

However; in schools/colleges/nurseries etc this isn’t happening. We aren’t being vaccinated until our age

It is why I said "ideally" , I would also have liked decent quarantine rules and track and trace ..... If wishes were fishes and hindsight was available.......

I must admit that my own little ones (twins who are almost 3 yo and a 9 month old) seem to have loved lockdown. They are just engrossed in their toys, playing in the garden and gawking out the window. I feel like I have suffered a bit with the lack of baby groups and family support but they seem absolutely fine. Perhaps things will come to a head when they actually start meeting people again and possibly freak out! I think for older kids it must have been so much harder though, for older kids friends are everything. My little ones are still happy just hanging out with mum though!

@Pinkbunny2811 IVF is happening, a friend is having her second lockdown round at the minute.

I've typed and deleted a rant post.

Basically I agree with you and am done with the rules now too.

Yes, pandemics usually last a couple of years, but noone could have predicted we would respond to a pandemic that kills less than 1% of those who catch it by cancelling life for over a year and then treating anyone who complains as if they want to kill all the grannies. The reaction was not to be predicted. We've not done this before. (And no, in the Spanish flu pandemic they did not lockdown and just advised those who were ill to stay at home, not everyone else and not the rest of their household)

For the majority of the population, the pandemic is not a big deal. The problem is the government response to it.

I have had no vaccine . I think I would hand mine to one of my DC's teachers if it meant that his school could stay open (particularly for those in essential years to complete assessments for important grades).

Yep, it’s shit.

I have a 3 year old and an 8 month old. I gave birth without my husband present as our DS needed to be shielded due to a respiratory issue and couldn’t be left with anyone. I am also CEV. My son hasn’t been to nursery since February 2020.

We haven’t seen our parents since 2019. My husbands grandmother passed away in March 2020 and his mum had a heart attack a fortnight ago (thankfully doing well now) and spent a week without visitors in hospital.

365+ days without childcare. No baby classes or meeting up with other mums. No family meet-ups.

However - on the flip side, more time spent with my precious little boy, a gorgeous, happy and healthy baby girl and I had my second covid jab last week. My DH is having his in a fortnight. I just got a new job and our house is going on the market this month. Things are looking up for us and I’m pleased because for a long time things have been monumentally shite.

I agree, Margos.

@Enwi

OP, it’s bloody shit. And someone else having more shit doesn’t lessen your shit.

I too am finding it difficult to remember why we are doing this. My 2 year old and 10 month old have lost out on so much. It’s hard.

This exactly!

Sending you a big hug OP. It’s absolutely crap. All this ‘we can’t hug anyone’. Yes you can. Just do it. If you have close family who are highly unlikely to have Covid, just do it.

@Wellbythebloodyhell

go on.. so talking young people down from suicide is vile?

In what world did your dismissive response to OP and others feelings about struggling with the restrictions have anything at all to do with talking young ones down from suicide? I hope in all seriousness you are not in anyway responsible for bringing young ones back from the brink of suicide...do you just tell them to get a grip and get over themselves in a similar way you have done to OP

In my world. The world where teens hold a knife to their own throats, and have to be talked down from that. Yes, I have done that, multiple times. Go on. It doesn't matter what you think. This shit happens, and yes, I am one of the people who talks young ones down from suicide.

I offer them hope. That's all I can share here, but that's all you need to know. I know them well enough to be able to offer hope. Got that? Good.

There isn't a single baby group running or in fact anything to do to make life enjoyable, rather than just an existence that needs to be borne

Shock horror!! The thought of having to withstand circumstances which make life less enjoyable.....in a pandemic!! Who would have thought it!! I I'm afraid that life for a long time was an existence was to be brone (for most poor or working class people anyway). I don't believe that this should undermine our effort to create a better world, but it does help in gaining a bit of perspective from time to time when life throws difficulties in our way. When I was getting really annoyed at the fact we have a tiny patch of grass as a 'garden' in our tiny, rented, excuse of a house where everything seems wonky or about to break because it was a shoddily built new home, when I've got frustrated at the lack of privacy, I reminded myself that there are people in inner cities who have no private outside space whatsoever.

You say that Covid has cost you a lot emotionally? Yes, me too. I have been through a lot this year and sometimes wonder why I even bother. I've had vital opportunities (which could have been life changing) disappear because of Covid, just at the point where I was extremely vulnerable in life and already in an incredibly shit situation, yet I don't think it's 'unfair'. I don't think 'I didn't sign up to this!!' as if I had ordered a luxury experience and life dared not to deliver!

Shit happens, but Covid didn't specifically target me. I and millions other people were affected together. We didn't deserve it. It happened at a time my life was already in turmoil and then the pandemic happened. I've had Covid and I'm lucky to be healthy after it. Many more people have had it far worse, including long Covid. Someone very close to me could have been killed because covid made his oxygen drop suddenly, he collapsed and hit his head on the floor. Luckily he was ok but it's not that difficult to die because of a head injury, especially when a blood clot develops. Count yourself lucky that you don't know anyone who died or had to be hospitalized.

However, when I feel sorry for myself, for the massive struggle I now face in my life, I try to think of my grandparents who were a part of the War effort. Some of them had their lives turned upside down, witness horrors that are unimaginable to us. I think of them listening to people feel sad that they have to stay at home, despite having broadband, TV to entertain them all day long, video chat to keep in contact with people from all over the world in homes with an indoor toilet and central heating. I imagine the women who worked long dangerous hours at the munitions factories, who did back-breaking work listen to our worries now, who had to get on with it despite being scared they'd be blown to pieces by an air raid.

Digital services services are not a substitute for in-person contact of course and a lot of people want to and need to get out of the house, but looking at the past does put things into perspective. Yes it's shit, really fucking shit, but it won't be this shit forever (might be for other reasons though but that's for a different post I think).

I feel sorry for your babies - it's important for children to socialise and play with each other for their development. I hope that changes really soon for them.

In the meantime I'm afraid you will have to endure some hardship for a bit longer as part of a team effort so we can get through this as quickly as possible.

That made you feel good did it earth?