Page 13 | I did not sign up to this **selfish rant alert**

MargosKaftan · 02/04/2021 21:37

@EarthSight - has covid - or the unusual decision to react to this pandemic by locking down - cost you those opportunities?

We havent reacted this way to a pandemic in the past.

diwrnachoflleyn · 02/04/2021 21:42

I'm not on any team and especially not the Race to the Bottom pit crew. This idea that if we continue to suck this all up we'll get past it is bullshit. It's here to stay. So some of us have stopped living lives thinking it'll go away if we shut ourselves away. Not going to happen.

Wishfulthinking1977 · 02/04/2021 22:07

OP I've been reading your thread for a few day and I have to say you are absolutely right to be able to rant!! My dd1 had 1st baby just before first lockdown and fell pregnant (got through contraception) and had 2nd baby last week! She has been completely abandoned by the after birth teams! Midwives amazing! Luckily she lives in this country and was damned if her kids were and her were going to be alone during this unremakable time! So we have seen them all the time regardless! For those with families in other countries its awful and I truly feel for you! For those saying you shouldn't have a baby incase you get ill during a pandemic, perhaps you shouldn't have a baby incase you get ill ever?! Parents get ill but normally you have support!! Never had the younger generation been sacrificed to save the elder and yet this is our situation! Yet they will be the ones to pay the price!! Much love to all those amazing mums with small children! You are amazing!! Xx

Original poster

Notthissticky · 02/04/2021 22:09

@cokecake the point was to get it off my chest. I am mainly taking issue with people shooting me down for finding it hard (when I've acknowledged I am actually quite fortunate) and/ or deliberately misinterpreting what I'm saying. I didn't want everyone to agree with me (I've been on here long enough to know it's not the right place for that), I just wanted to let off steam and maybe get some sympathy. It seems you're saying other people can disagree with me but I can't with them...

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cherish123 · 02/04/2021 22:09

Agreed. But we are all in the same boat.

Original poster

Notthissticky · 02/04/2021 22:12

@nancywhitehead

I only know a handful of people who've had COVID, none of whom have been hospitalised, let alone died.

Have you thought about the fact that that is probably because of the measures that have been taken to prevent it being a whole lot worse?

And have you thought about the fact that I've explicitly stated I do not disagree with lockdown? I'm just saying I'm finding it bloody tough. The two things aren't mutually exclusive.

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LongDistanceClaret · 02/04/2021 22:14

Daily covid deaths are very low (about 50). 1,600 people die every day in the UK which puts it into perspective. 450 die of cancer every day, and same for heart disease. We really have to start considering the bigger picture now.

dramaticpenguin · 02/04/2021 23:04

my baby is a year old and I'm very relieved that my mum has been in a bubble with us so she's been able to see him but she's disabled and can't look after him and he hasn't been left at all. If I leave the room he flips. I'm a childminder and I have 2 older boys, so he has seen other children but no groups and no other adults and I never get any time without kids at all anymore! I'm usually a karaoke compere too, earning twice as much and getting to be out of the house, but obviously that's not happening. I'm with you OP, so done with this shit now.

dramaticpenguin · 02/04/2021 23:12

just to add, I do love spending time with my children, but occasionally having time without them is good too. And I think I definitely had PLENTY of time with my children over the last year, and they with me, my 12 year old needs friends and my 9 year old needs structure!

MibsXX · 02/04/2021 23:37

@Notthissticky

Warning: this is a selfish rant about the unfairness of COVID. Please don't read it if you've been strongly affected by COVID or its economic impact. I am posting this on an anonymous forum for a reason.

I have a 2.5 yo and a 2 month old baby. The only family who have met the baby are the in-laws who looked after the toddler when I was in hospital. On Tuesday night, the baby spent a rather unnecessary night in hospital. I had both kids alone yesterday. The toddler started coughing so we've done a test. It's been 24 hours but no results yet, meaning another day shut in the house with two small children, when it was supposed to be me and the baby. All because a 2 year old has a cold.

I haven't seen my parents since July, I have a 5 month old niece I've never met and haven't seen my siblings since Christmas 2019, because our freedom-loving government has made it illegal for me to travel abroad to visit them. There isn't a single baby group running or in fact anything to do to make life enjoyable, rather than just an existence that needs to be borne.

I am absolutely not against taking precautions to prevent COVID spreading and am following the rules as much/ little as the next person. Looking at the situation from a distance though, the simple fact is that I only know a handful of people who've had COVID, none of whom have been hospitalised, let alone died. Meanwhile, this pandemic has cost me an awful lot emotionally. I fully realise I am extremely fortunate compared to many, but it just feels unfair and I am so so done with it. When will we reach the point where the impact of the inevitable mental health crisis that is developing begins to outweigh the risks of COVID? Rant over.

OK myself and others all feel your pain, dont doubt that, BUT the story ,had the WORLDS governments not all chosen to almost bankrupt their countries in order to save citizens lives, would be a whole different picture... you'd have been posting why have they done nothing and a third or half my relatives have died..... just put that into perspective for a minute.. and remember this wont last forever, enjoy the freedom and peace you have right now and look forward to it changing quite soon i reckon xx hugz from someone unable to claim furlogh or benefits and having had to risk my family ( three deaths in ours so far) and put up with the anti maskers who risk my life every single day

sogi · 02/04/2021 23:41

@daffodilsandprimroses

I’m a bit fed up of the needs of babies and toddlers being dismissed to be honest.

The first years are absolutely vital.

This. And that's bad enough.

Add that to the fact that these little ones will also be paying back the Covid ever increasing national debt for the rest of their lives.

1dayatatime · 02/04/2021 23:41

@Enwi

"I too am finding it difficult to remember why we are doing this. My 2 year old and 10 month old have lost out on so much. It’s hard."

I seem to remember it's all to do with squashing a sombrero or something like that.

Mamanyt · 03/04/2021 00:11

Rant away. You are certainly not alone. However, much of how you make it through this will depend on your mindset...and that is, believe it or not, very much under your own control. We train ourselves to think certain ways about certain things.

I have been living a "socially distanced" life due to health reasons for 14 years now. I leave my home precisely once a month to grocery shop, once every four months for medical appointments, and every two years for vision/hearing appointments. I am happy, I am content, because I accepted that this was NOT going to be over soon, and found ways to cope...which will be different for every person. With young children, that is harder, but not impossible.

However, in the meantime, as I said, rant away. These are not easy times. They can be done. And in the end, the emotional fallout of having to live very restricted lives is not as severe as dealing with the deaths of loved one.

Just a general statement, we keep saying that "this is not fair." "Fair" has to do with how we are treated by others. COVID is neither "fair," nor "unfair." Like the weather, it simply is. It is not singling any one of us out for worse treatment than others. Taking "fair" out of your vocabulary in reference to COVID will help you develope a better mind set.

Emeraldshamrock · 03/04/2021 01:24

I think most people have had their fill even those who have been damaged through losing a loved one and financially.
I've had both and I fully agree with you this way of life is absolutely shit.
Roll on change you're nearly there my DC are older I'm not surprised you've had enough with 2 babies.
Freedom is near for you If you're in the UK otherwise you're fecked like me

THEDEACON · 03/04/2021 05:07

You are fortunate in very many ways You have two DC you haven't lost anyone close or even know of anyone severely ill or dead You saw your parents in July plenty of folk with parents in next county or in care haven't seen parents for longer Start counting your blessings it's far healthier than self pity Everyone is suffering in different ways

bakewelltarty · 03/04/2021 06:14

I used to feel like this until I caught covid. Struggling to breathe at 3 am, frightened and alone changed that. Oh and the fact that my mum spent 3 weeks in hospital and my otherwise healthy 40 year old sister 5 weeks in ICU. I nearly lost both of them. Gave me a very different perspective.

FrenchFancie · 03/04/2021 06:16

I hear you OP. I live outside of uk and haven’t seen my parents since Oct 2019 and my siblings since august 2019. I have a niece I have never met who is now walking, I will never get that ‘baby time’ with her back. My grandmother has become ill, now has dementia and no longer recognises me when I call. My uncle caught Covid and died at 59.

And I still don’t know when I will be able to fly home to see my family. It wasn’t my choice to live here (husband works for the uk government abroad) and I had no idea when we moved here that the restrictions on travel could be so hard hitting and long lasting. This disease has taken so much from me, and I’m rapidly running out of... whatever to deal with it.

I find people whinging about not being able to get two weeks in the sun this summer a little hard to swallow. I just want to see my family

Original poster

Notthissticky · 03/04/2021 06:19

@bakewelltarty

I used to feel like this until I caught covid. Struggling to breathe at 3 am, frightened and alone changed that. Oh and the fact that my mum spent 3 weeks in hospital and my otherwise healthy 40 year old sister 5 weeks in ICU. I nearly lost both of them. Gave me a very different perspective.

I'm sorry to hear you and your family have been so affected by the disease itself. As I mention, I realise that I am actually very fortunate. However, that doesn't mean I'm not also struggling with the lack of normality at the moment and doesn't change the fact that my eldest thinks grandparents are videos in mummy's phone and no one from my family has met my baby yet. That's still really, really hard.

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Original poster

Notthissticky · 03/04/2021 06:24

I find people whinging about not being able to get two weeks in the sun this summer a little hard to swallow. I just want to see my family

This, 100%! Have to say that that is finally being mentioned in the news now as well. DH and I are from different countries so it was inevitable we'd be apart from family (before some bright spark says it's a choice to live abroad!) And jobs take you abroad sometimes too.

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Rachel1874 · 03/04/2021 07:07

Baby and toddler groups have been running for months? They just had to cut back size and be outside.

daffodilsandprimroses · 03/04/2021 07:25

They most certainly haven’t been running for months where I am.

Formulation123 · 03/04/2021 07:36

All toddler and baby groups are still closed here, if anyone’s are open and within a drive I would quite happy attend so please add your rough location

confused107 · 03/04/2021 07:45

@Rachel1874 baby and toddler groups are definitely not open where I am. Some support groups are legally allowed to open. Where are you? Are you in England? Done baby classes due to start on the 12th have now been cancelled again as the government have decided that only under 5s in the groups are allowed to sing!

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 03/04/2021 07:46

Op rant away , I feel for you .
I won't tell you to buy the toddler a piddle suit , bake cakes or do messy play . When my ds was that age soft play , walking round shopping centres and visiting people saved my sanity! Is your toddler at nursery ,? That might give them a little normality.
I think this has gone beyond the point of people " counting their blessings "....I was done with that by Xmas myself .
Life needs to resume in all ways , the kids and young people can not keep sacrificing their lives away

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 03/04/2021 07:47

A PUDDLE suit although a piddle suit could be a good idea haha