Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

I did not sign up to this **selfish rant alert**

401 replies

Notthissticky · 01/04/2021 15:52

Warning: this is a selfish rant about the unfairness of COVID. Please don't read it if you've been strongly affected by COVID or its economic impact. I am posting this on an anonymous forum for a reason.

I have a 2.5 yo and a 2 month old baby. The only family who have met the baby are the in-laws who looked after the toddler when I was in hospital. On Tuesday night, the baby spent a rather unnecessary night in hospital. I had both kids alone yesterday. The toddler started coughing so we've done a test. It's been 24 hours but no results yet, meaning another day shut in the house with two small children, when it was supposed to be me and the baby. All because a 2 year old has a cold.

I haven't seen my parents since July, I have a 5 month old niece I've never met and haven't seen my siblings since Christmas 2019, because our freedom-loving government has made it illegal for me to travel abroad to visit them. There isn't a single baby group running or in fact anything to do to make life enjoyable, rather than just an existence that needs to be borne.

I am absolutely not against taking precautions to prevent COVID spreading and am following the rules as much/ little as the next person. Looking at the situation from a distance though, the simple fact is that I only know a handful of people who've had COVID, none of whom have been hospitalised, let alone died. Meanwhile, this pandemic has cost me an awful lot emotionally. I fully realise I am extremely fortunate compared to many, but it just feels unfair and I am so so done with it. When will we reach the point where the impact of the inevitable mental health crisis that is developing begins to outweigh the risks of COVID? Rant over.

OP posts:
Parker231 · 02/04/2021 18:32

Angelil - every generation pays for something. How different ages have struggled has been different but no worse for one over another.

Thewinterofdiscontent · 02/04/2021 18:32

@MonsterMash2210

My daughter is a year old and I really regret not letting her really meet people or the ones we did see not letting them hold her.

She is now terrified of everyone because she has hardly seen anyone.

It’s probably just healthy attachment. They are meant to be miserable leaving you at this age. It’s a good sign. Chances are they’ll be more confident when they get to the next stage because they are secure they you’ve always been there.
Parker231 · 02/04/2021 18:34

@Flaxmeadow - pre Covid I would have seen my family in Belgium once a month and always for birthdays and other special occasions. DH’s family are in Canada and the US - we would have seen them at least once a year

DinoHat · 02/04/2021 18:36

Sorry you’re finding it tough OP. Lockdown with a toddler is a whole kind of hell.

bigmumsymcgraw · 02/04/2021 18:37

I agree with you. I can count on one hand people I know who've had Covid and no one went to hospital. My kids have missed school and Uni. Ive seen family once since Dec 2019 as they live outside my local area. My mother is elderly and its a long time to miss out. Enough is enough

Flaxmeadow · 02/04/2021 18:40

pre Covid I would have seen my family in Belgium once a month and always for birthdays and other special occasions. DH’s family are in Canada and the US - we would have seen them at least once a year

But the large majority of people with young children do not live at these distances from family. Most people choose to live near grandchildren or grandparents

It's a bit much to expect lockdown restrictions to cater for flights abroad for a small minority of families when many who live close to family can't often see family either because of restrictions

TooManyPlatesInMotion · 02/04/2021 18:44

It is legitimate to be fucking fed up. It is shit. People are at the very end of what they can and will tolerate. Don't feel bad about feeling this way. It would be more concerning if you didn't. Flowers

Original poster
Notthissticky · 02/04/2021 18:55

@Lucyk1

I'm a healthy 37 year old and I was like you. I couldn't understand what all the palava was shutting down a country over 'a cold' and really thought those over 60 should be shielded until a vaccine came along and let us have our lives. I was wrong. I caught covid and I wasn't bothered about catching it as I thought I'd be fine, like 99% of other folk. I was wrong. I ended up on hospital coughing up blood and unable to breath. I had to leave my 5 year old, who's never stayed with anyone else unexpectedly. I'm lucky to still be here but I've got long covid. 3 months on and I still have breathing problems and the Dr has referred me to hospital because of my lungs. Its effected how I live, what I can do and I feel rubbish... Mostly because I can't be the mum I want to be to my kid.

Wasn't it abut daft to have a baby during a pandemic anyway? It's not exactly the best tike to bring a jew life in the world.

You're not like me at all. Firstly, I never thought it was no big deal. All I've said is that the lockdown is starting to seriously affect me mentally. Secondly, I would never tell someone who is struggling mentally that it's their own fault. Also not entirely sure what I'm supposed to do with my baby now he's here. Have you got any ideas?Hmm

You seem to think that your suffering is more genuine than mine. Quite aside from the fact it's not a competition, this attitude is going to bite you on the arse badly one day.

OP posts:
Roselilly36 · 02/04/2021 18:55

Handhold OP. I totally agree with you, so rant away.

yoyo1234 · 02/04/2021 18:56

<a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/health-52542108&ved=2ahUKEwj2yYLpkODvAhVc8LsIHXKtALcQFjAAegQIAxAC&usg=AOvVaw0lUnXvyjefEPrKWcLPKwwL&ampcf=1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/health-52542108&ved=2ahUKEwj2yYLpkODvAhVc8LsIHXKtALcQFjAAegQIAxAC&usg=AOvVaw0lUnXvyjefEPrKWcLPKwwL&ampcf=1

yoyo1234 · 02/04/2021 18:57

Above should be link for original idea of shield and segment. Protect vulnerable and hopefully keep lockdown away.

rookiemere · 02/04/2021 18:58

I really don't understand posters telling others off for bringing a baby into this world during a pandemic.

This time last year most of us thought this would only last a few months - I'd have said you were crazy if you'd said we'd still be under restrictions a year later.

Plus what if you're late 30s or have difficulty conceiving- many women can't put their fertility on hold for a year.

Original poster
Notthissticky · 02/04/2021 19:00

@Flaxmeadow

How often would someone whose family live abroad have seen them pre covid?

I'm not sure what the Gov't is expected to do about it ATM. Flights are banned for good reasons

Every three months in my case, increasing to every few weeks with a new baby.
OP posts:
confused107 · 02/04/2021 19:06

I completely understand how you feel as a first time mum of a 4 month old. Just got to hope better times are coming. Hang on in there xxx

yoyo1234 · 02/04/2021 19:08

Children now being tested using lateral flow test will frequently be asymptomatic. They could have entire year groups in essential years (eg GCSE, A-level, etc) doing essential tests (exams in all but name) cancelled.

OverTheRainbow88 · 02/04/2021 19:12

@yoyo1234

What are you getting at? You don’t think they should be tested?

The whole purpose of LFTs are to try and catch asymptomatic people

SpringTimeDream · 02/04/2021 19:17

Yes it's rubbish and everything is about the virus and nothing else appears to ve important to some anymore....but the virus...

Vargas · 02/04/2021 19:19

Feel free to rant! My friends and I all have older children and spend rather a lot of time thanking our lucky stars that we are not dealing with babies/toddlers/small kids during this pandemic. When mine were little it was seeing friends and family (inside houses!) and going to playgroups and baby music and swimming pools etc... that kept me sane.

It really will be over soon, I really believe this and I hope you do too. You are very isolated and it is terrible but it will end, FWIW you have lots of sympathetic vibes coming to you from parents of older children!!

yoyo1234 · 02/04/2021 19:20

What I am saying is that young people with major exams are at risk of loosing more education/having results that do not reflect their ability due to an illness very unlikely to severely affect them as much as the huge gap in important years in their education will. We have now (thankfully) vaccinated a lot of the vulnerable and their carers/medical staff. Maybe we should let them have more of a chance now hospital admissions and death rates are decreasing. In the future the vaccine may only be given to at risk groups (akin to flu vaccine).

Pinkbunny2811 · 02/04/2021 19:23

I for one, completely agree. Although I haven't had Covid (that I know of), I've been majorly affected by it.

  1. I work for the NHS
  2. my DH has been diagnosed with cancer and had to have surgery a couple weeks ago. This would have been done last year but it was MISSED because of covid...I can't even begin to describe how this feels
  3. we can't get anywhere with IVF because of covid so a massive middle finger to anyone who thinks it's bad to 'have a lockdown baby' and to whoever said you can plan to have a baby anytime you want.
  4. I miss my sister, who lives abroad.

And yes, I could be worse off, but how? I can't see how this could get worse right now. We all NEED our freedom back as soon as possible. I don't know how much more I can take...

SpringTimeDream · 02/04/2021 19:23

@MmeLaraque

No way could you talk anyone down from suicide, your posts in this thread lack empathy

OverTheRainbow88 · 02/04/2021 19:24

@yoyo1234

What about school staff? I’m a teacher teaching year 10s 11s 12s and 13s all day long. I’m not due a vaccine for ages. I want them to do well in exams etc but I fear long covid and getting ill, so I’m happy they are testing the kids.

Cokecake · 02/04/2021 19:24

Don’t think people understand why flights have been cancelled. This virus originated in China and has spread to the rest of the world. Why? Because of people travelling. I have family on a small island in the Indian Ocean. They only have covid because someone from the uk travelled and visited their family. They infected their family and then it spread. They got rid of it quickly but now it’s come back again. Again because they opened the borders up. It’s surprises me that people see family abroad so often. For me it was every few years so I’m used to not seeing family for a while. Not saying people shouldn’t be upset for not travelling!

Anyway, I don’t know anyone personally who has actually stuck to the rules including myself. My parents know quite a few that have died from it which worried me as it could easily have been my parents instead. I go through periods of being anxious about it and worried my family or I will die from it. And then other times I’m like I really can’t be bothered with this shit. What scares me is lots of healthy people dying. Even those that have health issues such as asthma can live a normal life but something like Covid can affect them.

You keep saying that people who have it worse doesn’t make you feel better. But what was the need to post in the first place. You wanted everyone to agree with you. You keep dismissing everyone else. Yes we shouldn’t compare struggles. But if you’re going to come on here and start ranting, there will be people who don’t care about you because they have experienced worse things. Lots of parents dying leaving behind young kids, young adults with no underlying health issues have died. These people are not going to give a shit about people not being able to meet their friends or kids not seeing their relatives.

yoyo1234 · 02/04/2021 19:25

Right now I think we should be more accepting of a rising number of cases if it does not correspond with a rise in death rates/hospitalisation. I think we need to accept Sars-Cov-2 is here to stay, vaccinate vulnerable and potentially build up natural immunity in the young (less at risk), a bit akin to chicken pox

Shona52 · 02/04/2021 19:26

Rant away honey. Your in a very tough position and my heart goes out to you. Just do anything and everything you can to look after yourself. I know it's tough but light at the end of the tunnel now xx