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I did not sign up to this **selfish rant alert**

401 replies

Notthissticky · 01/04/2021 15:52

Warning: this is a selfish rant about the unfairness of COVID. Please don't read it if you've been strongly affected by COVID or its economic impact. I am posting this on an anonymous forum for a reason.

I have a 2.5 yo and a 2 month old baby. The only family who have met the baby are the in-laws who looked after the toddler when I was in hospital. On Tuesday night, the baby spent a rather unnecessary night in hospital. I had both kids alone yesterday. The toddler started coughing so we've done a test. It's been 24 hours but no results yet, meaning another day shut in the house with two small children, when it was supposed to be me and the baby. All because a 2 year old has a cold.

I haven't seen my parents since July, I have a 5 month old niece I've never met and haven't seen my siblings since Christmas 2019, because our freedom-loving government has made it illegal for me to travel abroad to visit them. There isn't a single baby group running or in fact anything to do to make life enjoyable, rather than just an existence that needs to be borne.

I am absolutely not against taking precautions to prevent COVID spreading and am following the rules as much/ little as the next person. Looking at the situation from a distance though, the simple fact is that I only know a handful of people who've had COVID, none of whom have been hospitalised, let alone died. Meanwhile, this pandemic has cost me an awful lot emotionally. I fully realise I am extremely fortunate compared to many, but it just feels unfair and I am so so done with it. When will we reach the point where the impact of the inevitable mental health crisis that is developing begins to outweigh the risks of COVID? Rant over.

OP posts:
Fembot123 · 02/04/2021 09:14

@MmeLaraque People aren’t ignoring you because they think your opinion is damming it’s because they think you are being unnecessarily spiteful and talking about having a seriously job wholly unsuitable to your skillset

Wellbythebloodyhell · 02/04/2021 09:15

[quote loveheartss]@MmeLaraque And HOW can you be talking people down from suicide? Truly, someone on here has said they are having a hard time and you've pretty much just berated them for the fact they are feeling like that. I'd def want you in my corner if I was feeling low....[/quote]
Couldn't have said it better myself.

the80sweregreat · 02/04/2021 11:23

Maybe People can only rant on an anonymous forum like this because if you try telling people how your feeling in the real world they just tell you your being a ' snowflake' or another term to bring you down, Or how much harder other people have had it and you need to keep quite?
It's good that a person I've never met can have a moan and get it off their chest.
If we stopped people doing this then mumsnet may as well shut down!

Commonwasher · 02/04/2021 17:27

Not unreasonable at all. I feel for you — a new baby and a toddler is hard work even with company/help/choices.

Rtruth · 02/04/2021 17:29

We not me mentality is needed. End of.

Angelil · 02/04/2021 17:32

Totally with you OP. I have lost so much that is important to me (including work but also the opportunity to see dear friends who I now haven’t seen in over a year, gym, cinema and basically anything fun) and my 2yo son is missing out on so much too (grandparents, swimming, library) and it all just sucks so much. Plus I am in a country where the vaccine rollout is totally shite. I am SO done.

Angelil · 02/04/2021 17:33

I also have known literally nobody who has had Covid apart from my husband’s 90-something-year-old grandmother who has not only survived but made a full recovery!! I resent the emphasis on the 0.2% of the U.K. population who have died as opposed to the 99,98% of us that are still here.

trappedsincesundaymorn · 02/04/2021 17:34

@Rtruth

We not me mentality is needed. End of.
Compassion and empathy is needed. End of.
Annipoos · 02/04/2021 17:34

((((((((((((((BIG HUGS))))))))))))

Toomuchtrouble4me · 02/04/2021 17:37

Tough. It’s shite for us all but we have to think of others and keep the vulnerable safe.

GoldenOmber · 02/04/2021 17:40

@Toomuchtrouble4me

Tough. It’s shite for us all but we have to think of others and keep the vulnerable safe.
The vulnerable are not going to die faster because someone talked about how tough they’re finding this on Mumsnet.
Hippiechick162 · 02/04/2021 17:44

@Notthissticky you're completely right! This has been a total sh1t show. My eldest daughter has had a baby and I was diagnosed with cancer just before the 1st lockdown. I had to attend all my treatments and my prognosis appointments alone, didn't get physio following major surgery and reconstruction and the specialist has now said that the lack of treatment has effectively left me disabled! All of that and I know of 4 people who have had covid all in the school I work at and none have been hospitalized let alone died! I know far more people who are now struggling with mental health issues...this level of control etc in our lives is truly detrimental.
Congratulations on your baby and I hope you have your support/life back soon x

penguin23 · 02/04/2021 17:46

AcornAutumn you speak so much sense, totally with you!

I’m done with all this, the fact it’s illegal to see my own parents in our houses, never mind anything else, is something I’ll never get my head around. It terrifies me the way we’re headed with this, and most are scarily unaware.

Jaxhog · 02/04/2021 17:53

Of course you're allowed to moan, but please don't think that following the rules isn't doing a great deal of good. You are actually fortunate that you don't know anyone affected by this - I do. I've lost friends and seen others suffer greatly. I've not seen my mum or other family members since last August, and haven't been away overnight now for almost 2 years. I also had to shield so my MH is very poor right now. But I am still alive.

I'm convinced that it IS making a difference (thank you) and that we will get through this. But only by sticking together.

trappedsincesundaymorn · 02/04/2021 17:57

@Toomuchtrouble4me

Tough. It’s shite for us all but we have to think of others and keep the vulnerable safe.
I'm pretty sure that someone having a tough time mentally is not the reason both my parents are now dead.
Nettie1964 · 02/04/2021 17:59

I found it tough being a mum 30 years ago and I had loads of help. I feel for all you mum's during lockdown. Hope it gets better for everyone soon xxxxxx

Xenia · 02/04/2021 18:00

As I have said since March 2020 the rules are an unaccepted restriction of rights and freedoms and we (the world not just the UK) chose to sacrifice the young for the old. We made the wrong decision.

Mumkins42 · 02/04/2021 18:02

If you can't rant on an online anonymous platform, where can you rant. You have every right to feel annoyed, sick of it, and questioning of gov.approaches. Anyone saying others have it worse,bla bla are simply triggered. Whomever made the point ref ripping alcohol off the shelves made a very good one. There's something off about the lengths we have been required to go to yet costs, destruction, financially and emotionally associated with alcohol for example are no problem. I do not buy into a conspiracy, but something about the response forced upon us makes me feel uncomfortable. Yes I'm sorry people are dying but I'm also very sorry for the inlay on all other elements of life and we'll being these restrictions have now had

Gerla · 02/04/2021 18:08

I'm with you OP. I haven't seen my parents since summer 2019. We are in lockdown at the moment where we are and I just feel like I can't do it anymore. And yes, I know I have to but I have a ds who is extremely depressed. When I go out people cross over the road nowadays to not walk too close. I just can't live like this anymore and I don't really see anyway out.

Parker231 · 02/04/2021 18:09

No one generation has been sacrificed for another. People of all ages have struggled, missed seeing family and friends, died, got ill, developed long Covid. It’s been bad for everyone, not just the young. Hopefully the vaccination programme will work and we can return to normal life without daily headlines of horrible numbers of deaths. I never want to attend another Covid funeral.

Lucyk1 · 02/04/2021 18:12

I'm a healthy 37 year old and I was like you. I couldn't understand what all the palava was shutting down a country over 'a cold' and really thought those over 60 should be shielded until a vaccine came along and let us have our lives. I was wrong. I caught covid and I wasn't bothered about catching it as I thought I'd be fine, like 99% of other folk. I was wrong. I ended up on hospital coughing up blood and unable to breath. I had to leave my 5 year old, who's never stayed with anyone else unexpectedly. I'm lucky to still be here but I've got long covid. 3 months on and I still have breathing problems and the Dr has referred me to hospital because of my lungs. Its effected how I live, what I can do and I feel rubbish... Mostly because I can't be the mum I want to be to my kid.

Wasn't it abut daft to have a baby during a pandemic anyway? It's not exactly the best tike to bring a jew life in the world.

Localocal · 02/04/2021 18:27

I really feel for new mothers and parents of toddlers - I think both are groups that the enforced isolation is really hard on. You are in both groups, OP, so it would be a miracle if your mental health wasn't affected. It must be so hard to be trapped in with a baby and toddler. Hang in there - it's almost over!

Angelil · 02/04/2021 18:29

@Parker231 that’s true but it’s the young who will be paying for it for decades.

InFiveMins · 02/04/2021 18:29

Am with you 100% OP.

People who tend to support these lockdowns are the ones it serves.

For so, so many reasons it is more than high time we went back to normal. Completely.

Flaxmeadow · 02/04/2021 18:31

How often would someone whose family live abroad have seen them pre covid?

I'm not sure what the Gov't is expected to do about it ATM. Flights are banned for good reasons