I did not sign up to this **selfish rant alert**

[Notthissticky]

Warning: this is a selfish rant about the unfairness of COVID. Please don't read it if you've been strongly affected by COVID or its economic impact. I am posting this on an anonymous forum for a reason.

I have a 2.5 yo and a 2 month old baby. The only family who have met the baby are the in-laws who looked after the toddler when I was in hospital. On Tuesday night, the baby spent a rather unnecessary night in hospital. I had both kids alone yesterday. The toddler started coughing so we've done a test. It's been 24 hours but no results yet, meaning another day shut in the house with two small children, when it was supposed to be me and the baby. All because a 2 year old has a cold.

I haven't seen my parents since July, I have a 5 month old niece I've never met and haven't seen my siblings since Christmas 2019, because our freedom-loving government has made it illegal for me to travel abroad to visit them. There isn't a single baby group running or in fact anything to do to make life enjoyable, rather than just an existence that needs to be borne.

I am absolutely not against taking precautions to prevent COVID spreading and am following the rules as much/ little as the next person. Looking at the situation from a distance though, the simple fact is that I only know a handful of people who've had COVID, none of whom have been hospitalised, let alone died. Meanwhile, this pandemic has cost me an awful lot emotionally. I fully realise I am extremely fortunate compared to many, but it just feels unfair and I am so so done with it. When will we reach the point where the impact of the inevitable mental health crisis that is developing begins to outweigh the risks of COVID? Rant over.

You make some good points, but I think if anything it’s travel that needs to be curtailed still due to variants - you’d have to isolate on both legs of journey to see your family. My friend did that in the summer as her elderly parents live in the US.
Mental health has been an issue in our house, more w the teen DCs than us. Their lives have been totally thrown off course w no exams last year and not a normal start to uni or sixth form.
I think the mental health and behavioural issues arising from Covid lockdowns are going to be massive.

I know five people that have died from this : four were elderly , one was 48.
It doesn't stop me from having sympathy with a young mum having a rough time of things.
Everyone has been affected by this situation. We have to try and support not criticize everyone. Things will get better, but it's taking its time :(

I completely sympathise. Our family is all over seas so we haven't seen any of them in 18 months. Our youngest will be 1 soon and has yet to meet any family. They've missed all her babyhood, she'll be a toddler by time they see her. My mat leave was spent home schooling the older ones. Fun times 😟

Thanks for the kind words from the vast majority. I really appreciate the people who are taking this thread in the spirit in which it was intended. I think we can ignore @MmeLaraque. She seems hell bent on taking snippets from my OP out of context to suit her narrative. I am going to try and ignore the handful of shitty comments (though you might want to reflect on what you're hoping to achieve with them, and what it says about you as a person) and focus on the kind comments. And to the person who said I sound nice: thank you, I really appreciate that. It's been a tough few weeks and I've been made to feel selfish offline, so that's nice to hear.

@JustDanceAddict

You make some good points, but I think if anything it’s travel that needs to be curtailed still due to variants - you’d have to isolate on both legs of journey to see your family. My friend did that in the summer as her elderly parents live in the US. Mental health has been an issue in our house, more w the teen DCs than us. Their lives have been totally thrown off course w no exams last year and not a normal start to uni or sixth form. I think the mental health and behavioural issues arising from Covid lockdowns are going to be massive.

I know... Though I think I'd rather isolate to see family than because my toddler has a snotty nose (which he denies, as smearing it all over your face and declaring "snot is gone" solves the problem 😂)

I hear you OP.
My circs are very different to yours and in many ways, I count myself as fortunate, but I hear you and send you love and a hug.

It's shit, it really is

@Notthissticky ignore the haters and people who like to play the who has it worse game. We are all in the same storm but different boats. Doesn’t mean we can’t all complain about the storm.

I keep joking my mat leave was ruined (first lock down baby) so returned to work now so we should just have another baby in a year or two....not sure my husband is game 😂🤣

@DianaT1969

A lot of countries are in stricter lockdowns than the UK. Is your family in such a country?

Which countries? My family are on the continent. Visits to other people's homes have never been banned there. Not that it makes a blind bit of difference though: my parents haven't been vaccinated so won't travel to the UK and it is currently illegal for me to leave the UK.

It is shitty OP and I don't think you are being selfish to be fed up with all this.
But I was speaking with one of my school mum friends today whose family are all overseas. Her healthy 52 year old uncle died on Monday. Her mum and gran are both seriously ill with covid, as are both her sisters. A sobering reminder as to why we are all doing this.

It's possible to feel that lockdown is utter shit and also believe it is utterly necessary.

It is so hard OP. I remember back when mine were small and I had so much support from my mum and can't imagine going without that.

I've had a friend in her twenties and a friend in her fifties die of covid, but it doesn't stop me empathising with everyone who is struggling at the moment in so many different ways. It's crap for everyone. I think lockdown was necessary but recognise the ravages of it, it's possible to hold both of those positions.

Hugs to you. It will get better.

@Nothissticky - which countries? France has announced a new stricter one month lockdown. Germany is experiencing a 3rd wave and has restrictions. Turkey is introducing 4 day lockdowns over the weekends where people aren't allowed out for exercise. Potentially increasing that from just weekends in order to get numbers down so that they can open to tourists in June.
In Portugal people aren't allowed to travel outside of their municipality and most things were closed. Today they announced football would start soon, but people still can't visit family out of their small area.
My friend in Denmark said it's currently strict, but I'm not sure what that entails.
We're opening shops, bars and restaurants soon for Spring. We can meet up in the park with 5 friends, play sports. Your timing seems to be that you are feeling particularly low as we're getting our freedom back.
Not to mention our advantage over the continent with our vaccine rollout and low transmission.

@Notthissticky

Thanks for the kind words from the vast majority. I really appreciate the people who are taking this thread in the spirit in which it was intended. I think we can ignore *@MmeLaraque*. She seems hell bent on taking snippets from my OP out of context to suit her narrative. I am going to try and ignore the handful of shitty comments (though you might want to reflect on what you're hoping to achieve with them, and what it says about you as a person) and focus on the kind comments. And to the person who said I sound nice: thank you, I really appreciate that. It's been a tough few weeks and I've been made to feel selfish offline, so that's nice to hear.

You want to ignore me because that's *not what you want to hear/read.

Okay. Good luck.

I truly hope you and your loved ones survive this. If there was a block function here, I'd use it.

@Notthissticky

Thanks for the kind words from the vast majority. I really appreciate the people who are taking this thread in the spirit in which it was intended. I think we can ignore *@MmeLaraque*. She seems hell bent on taking snippets from my OP out of context to suit her narrative. I am going to try and ignore the handful of shitty comments (though you might want to reflect on what you're hoping to achieve with them, and what it says about you as a person) and focus on the kind comments. And to the person who said I sound nice: thank you, I really appreciate that. It's been a tough few weeks and I've been made to feel selfish offline, so that's nice to hear.

"This is a selfish complaint" "We can ignore MMe Laraque"... who is actually dealing with suicidal people, and talking them down. *You, on the other hand, are posting about "selfish complaints." Go on...

who is actually dealing with suicidal people, and talking them down

Do you mainly do that by eye-rolling at people ‘having to cope with some stress’ and accusing them of not being sympathetic enough to Michael Rosen, or is that something you save for here?

[quote DianaT1969]@Nothissticky - which countries? France has announced a new stricter one month lockdown. Germany is experiencing a 3rd wave and has restrictions. Turkey is introducing 4 day lockdowns over the weekends where people aren't allowed out for exercise. Potentially increasing that from just weekends in order to get numbers down so that they can open to tourists in June.
In Portugal people aren't allowed to travel outside of their municipality and most things were closed. Today they announced football would start soon, but people still can't visit family out of their small area.
My friend in Denmark said it's currently strict, but I'm not sure what that entails.
We're opening shops, bars and restaurants soon for Spring. We can meet up in the park with 5 friends, play sports. Your timing seems to be that you are feeling particularly low as we're getting our freedom back.
Not to mention our advantage over the continent with our vaccine rollout and low transmission.[/quote]
This.

I wonder if posters like this will change their minds and be grateful when it's *their loved one we're talking down from suicide?

Would it take *that? I hope not, but in the meantime, "We can ignore MMe Laraque"

@Notthissticky: I suppose you can (ignore me, and people like me), until I'm needed. Do you think *you could talk someone down from suicide? Do you have the skills to do that?

No you're not being selfish. You're a human being, and it's about time we all started living humainly.. The suffering due to the fallout of the past year has done so much damage. Do what you feel is right 💜

It is shit, I completely understand. I think everyone has their own cross to bare throughout, some are just heavier than others.

I managed to get out of the U.K. to my home country back in January so we have been extremely fortunate. But it's cost us almost £10k and I've been away from my husband (and the children away from their father) for almost 3 months. I hadn't seen my family in almost 2 years. We are coming back to the U.K. soon and it's a sobering thought that it could be another 2 years before we see them again.

My toddler was 13 months when we went into lockdown and it is becoming apparent he is speech delayed. Thankfully we have the means to send him to nursery but I hate to think of all the other children around his age who have slipped through the net.

It's shit. It is hard. Yes it could be worse but you're allowed to be pissed off and upset about the losses you have suffered.

No one signed up for any of this shit. I didnt sign up to be stranded abroad and not see my family for 2 years.
My best friend didnt sign up for the PND she ended up with after being isolated with a fussy colicky newborn.
My other friend didnt sign up for both her parents dying if covid.
Another friend didnt sign up for the marriage breakdown she got after her they couldnt take the pressure of job insecurity.
There have been job losses, lives lost, education compromised, mental health problems. Its crazy to think it's ever happened but in the UK at least things are looking up. Hang on in there.

@lynsey91

"You chose to get pregnant during lockdown. If you didn't have the sense to even think for one minute that this would go on for ages more fool you.

I honestly cannot believe anyone with a brain would get pregnant while all this is going on with no idea when it will end."

Wow. The lack of empathy on this thread is staggering! Life has to go on. People can't be expected to just put everything on hold to wait for it to be over. When we went into lockdown last year it was supposed to be for a few weeks, things seemed to be opening up in the summer (for some places at least). People were looking forward to 2021 as a better year when in fact it has been far far worse for many. Not all of us are bloody Nostradamus and we might have thought that a nine month pregnancy could see us through the worst of this shite.

Just fuck off with your smug and judgmental attitudes.

OP, bloody moan as much as you like. It is awful right now!

@MmeLaraque what has any of that got to do with the thread? You may have a heroic job, but that doesn’t make it okay for you to talk down to people struggling on Mumsnet.

My wife deals daily with people who are a risk to themselves (or to others). She’s still had a cry over lockdown, as have I - and she was sympathetic, not as rude and dismissive as you’re being,

Do you mainly do that by eye-rolling at people ‘having to cope with some stress’ and accusing them of not being sympathetic enough to Michael Rosen, or is that something you save for here?

@MmeLaraque It may shock you to learn that people have different resilience levels to things, not everyone can brush it off, stiff upper lip and all that. It's incredibly dismissive of an individuals feelings to say oh but we've ALL struggled in our own way. So what?

People deal with things differently. If it has helped the OP have a bit of a rant about the things that are on her mind, I'd far rather her have a space to get if off her chest then potentially nose dive in to mental health issues because she has locked it all up.

Whether or not you find it a worthy enough thing to rant about is irrelevant.

@MmeLaraque And HOW can you be talking people down from suicide? Truly, someone on here has said they are having a hard time and you've pretty much just berated them for the fact they are feeling like that. I'd def want you in my corner if I was feeling low....